The World in Black and White
by Kyrial Halcoryn
Summary: aka Why Hollow/Quincy/Shinigami Flatshares Are a Bad Idea. Mostly filler-free! Now with 100% fewer moths! Beta'd by Love Psycho. #45: A Brief Interlude, a.k.a. I ATEN'T DEAD.
1. Arc I: Death and the Dragon

**Blurb:** Being a Quincy and flatsharing with a Vasto Lorde and a stalker shinigami sent on a mission to purify said hollow is not good for your health. Being forced to carry out said shinigami's duties is not fun, either. Having said Vasto Lorde attempt to use puppy-dog eyes to persuade you to keep an Adjuchas in your apartment... well, that's just plain disturbing.

* * *

**A/N: **In which things are... different. There's a minorly better, semi-sarcastic description of this on my profile if you want to read it.

The cover image is not Ichigo's puppy-dog face. It's just I can't draw on a computer to save my life. (I may make another attempt, though.)

In advance warning, much of this story is written in third person, from various characters' perspectives. As a result, what is witnessed by each character may be different to what another person would see, so please take what you read as happening with a slight pinch of salt. Despite any (deliberate) foreshadowing that may occur, none of the characters are psychic!  
Well... not really. *cough*

**Pairings: **Nothing major, although you can see Ichi/Uryuu if you squint a bit. Onesided Uryuu/Orihime, also onesided Mizuiro/Keigo and onesided Chizuru/everything!vaguely!female. Pretty much as canon, in other words...

**Edit (14/06/2012): **Third pass. Smoothed out some slightly awkward-looking phrases you probably didn't notice.

* * *

Uryuu Ishida stepped into his apartment, letting his schoolbag slip off his shoulder in the hallway. It wasn't a particularly extravagant apartment, but was reasonably sized if nothing else, big enough for two people to live in quite comfortably.

"Kurosaki?" he called, shutting the door behind him.

No answer.

_Probably still out somewhere. He isn't usually back until I am._

Nonetheless, there was still a faint twinge of worry that perhaps Ichigo had left for good, lost himself completely, been eaten, a shinigami –

He clamped down on the fear. _No. Kurosaki isn't that weak._

Fridge status: missing one pack of minced steak. Washing up: done, also cooking, apparently, given the pot currently on the stove. That was a good sign. Moving into his room and glancing down at the books on the desk, he noticed Ichigo had apparently been leafing through one or two of his old Quincy texts. Whether or not he'd actually be able to _use_ the techniques was an entirely different matter... but then, he'd been perfectly capable of hiding his own reiatsu to such an extent that even _Uryuu_ had difficulty detecting if Kurosaki was in the apartment or not.

Which was just as well, really.

"Hey."

He turned round, startled.

"When did you get back?"

Kurosaki shrugged. "About two hours ago. Did some reading. Stuff. You know."

"You could have put the books back." Uryuu turned to the desk and began unloading his school books, as the other grinned.

"If I did that, you wouldn't have anything left to do round here, would you?"

He frowned. "Why is the drawer open?" _I swear I locked it this morning..._

Ichigo shifted awkwardly. "...You did. Lock it, I mean," he added at the startled expression on the other's face. "But I needed something to practice on, right?"

"Practice what?" Uryuu asked suspiciously.

"My lock picking skills. Obviously."

He raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware you had lock picking skills." A second thought occurred to him. "Where did you get the picks from in the first place?" _I know for certain I don't leave mine around the house. Having a bored Ichigo Kurosaki break into someone's house doesn't really bear thinking about._.. _not that he would do such a thing._

Ichigo scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well... there was some guy who broke into the apartment when you were out."

"What!" he exclaimed, aghast. "Why didn't you mention that? What did they steal?"

"Nothing. Obviously. Guy shat himself and ran off. Didn't even take his stuff away with him. There was a rucksack with a wallet and stuff, and a set of lock picks he was using to break in. And it wasn't stealing!" he protested weakly. "He was trying to nick our stuff in the first place anyway, so..."

"What did you do to him?"

"I just scratched him a little. A_ cat_ could've inflicted worse injuries."

"...why don't I believe you?" muttered Uryuu, before moving back to the door and opening it.

There were two drops of blood on the floor just outside the apartment.

"See?" Ichigo noted jubilantly.

Uryuu pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, and by the way," he added offhandedly as Uryuu stepped back into the apartment, shutting the door behind him, "I need to return that wallet."

"It wasn't his?"

"Nope. There's an ID card in there, so unless 'he' was actually a 'she', I don't think so. Belongs to Mizuho Asano, apparently. Beef ramen?"

"Fine." He settled down to a geography assignment as Ichigo made his way to the kitchen.

* * *

Humans have souls. This is a fact.

Most people are unable to see these souls when separated from their physical containers. This, too, is a fact.

It is also a fact that Uryuu Ishida is not one of these people.

* * *

Souls are capable of taking many forms. In general, they take the form of the physical body they inhabited previously to their death, and have a tendency to wander when free of their physical body. These souls have chains attached to their chests, which break away, given time.

Most people are fortunate, in a way, that they encounter the black-clad shinigami whose task it is to send on or purify souls before their soul chain corrodes away completely.

Ichigo Kurosaki is not one of these people.

* * *

Had one told Uryuu Ishida, as a young child, that he would, in the future, be flat-sharing with a hollow, he would probably have vehemently objected to such an idea. The thought of a Quincy cohabiting with a hollow was as patently ludicrous as that of living together with a shinigami – who, after all, would willingly stay with a creature that had caused the near-complete destruction of their own race?

Nonetheless, on a warm summer evening, he was rather surprised to encounter a young boy of about his age with bright orange hair, crying by the side of the road.

_"Who are you?"_ he asked politely.

The soul looked up, eyes red from crying. _"Ichigo."_

_"Are you okay?"_

The boy shook his head silently. _"It ate my mommy. I tried to get help, but no-one listened, they couldn't hear me... Why?"_

He'd followed the living boy home, falling asleep next to him as Uryuu hugged the other boy to comfort him, insofar as such a thing was possible. By the time they had woken up, the two of them had been securely chained together, much to the ire of Ryuuken Ishida.

Words had been had. Ryuuken had eventually relented on the matter after much shouting (on Uryuu's part), crying (mainly when Ichigo was told to leave) and icy glares (courtesy of Ishida Senior). He'd given up, since any attempts to split the soul chain had resulted in resounding failure and considerable pain for Ichigo. Causing unnecessary suffering to the boy was hardly his aim, after all.

Uryuu's life had continued, and, in a way, so had Ichigo's. The other restrained himself, in general, from talking in public unless absolutely necessary, as it was rather difficult for Uryuu to reply most of the time without getting some _very_ strange looks for talking to himself. Both had grown up, although the Quincy had thought it odd that a soul could age at the same rate. The fact that the chain was beginning to pull away from Ichigo's chest did not escape him, either, despite the fact that the other hid the pain quite well.

And then...

Nothing.

The precise moment the chain came completely free always eluded Uryuu's memory. Maybe he didn't want to remember; perhaps he'd simply been asleep, although the sound of the screams of a demi-hollow in the final stages weren't exactly something anyone with _any _spiritual awareness could sleep through. Either way, by the time he'd woken up in the morning, the other was missing. There were no traces of shinigami around (as if Ryuuken would permit such a thing in his household), and Ichigo was unable to leave Uryuu. That left only one option.

Hollow.

At that point, Uryuu was almost fourteen. His father had noted the conspicuous absence of plus hovering at his shoulder.

He'd made the polite request that he leave the Ishida household for pastures new. Move out. Get a job. An apartment. Spread his wings a little.

As well as the unspoken sentence: _I will be targeted._

The man had responded with a curt nod and an indifferent, _"If you want your freedom so badly, you can have it."_

A week later, he'd found an apartment, moved the majority of his stuff out, but there was still a conspicuous absence in his mind.

* * *

There was a garganta tearing open to reveal an odd, blockish creature and he didn't have time to think, just leave a fraction of a second's hesitation.

_Could it be him? I don't want to destroy his soul - _

And then the _second_ hollow appeared, the one whose garganta he'd missed. This one was mainly fur and horns and claws, some odd amalgam of bison and bear.

_That... has to be the crappiest luck in history._

Both hollows roared at him, the more animalistic of the two making a quick lunge for him.

_Shit!_

He dodged, forming his bow in his hand -

And there was that damned hesitation again.

_Where the hell are the shinigami?_

This was about the time the third hollow turned up.

_I am royally screwed, _he thought, just as the third hollow - the white reptilian-looking one - crouched, a high-speed blur moving _past_ him and tearing into the other hollows.

Uryuu stared, managing to forget every single rule of being a Quincy in one moment: _do not get close, do not look at the target, do not stay still, do not hesitate._

The attack was brutal, swift, merciless and efficient as the smaller hollow clawed the other two apart. It didn't take particularly long before their spiritual forms disintegrated, breaking down into their components.

"Ichigo?"

The hollow turned. Now it wasn't moving quite so quickly, he could see it more clearly; red markings covering most of its body and half the mask in an odd pattern. Bright crimson tufts of fur decorated its ankles, and there, clearly visible, was that bright colour that would always, _always_ be Kurosaki's.

His voice caught in his throat.

_Hollows target those who were close to their primary soul in life. _The words of his sensei echoed through his head.

It made its way towards him as he lowered the bow slightly.

_Right now I'd give all my Quincy powers for a zanpakuto..._

He flinched as the hollow reached him, tensed to run. It lowered its head, rubbing it contently against his body in a manner strongly reminiscent of a domestic cat and narrowly avoiding snaring his clothing in one of the horns on the mask. Something that might have been a purr rumbled from its throat, like the sound of an engine gently ticking over.

"_Protect..._"

"Ichigo?" he asked tentatively.

The hollow nuzzled him.

He sighed, and ran a hand through the long mane of orange hair.

"You're going to be the death of me one of these days, Kurosaki..."

* * *

Ichigo hummed to himself while switching on the kettle.

It had felt like an age ago that he'd died. He'd kept most of his memories of his previous life, although there were some things he'd forgotten (the colour of his mother's eyes, what Yuzu's favourite colour had been) that had frustrated him. And he'd gained memories, some of them extremely unpleasant.

Being without Uryuu _hurt_ in a way it had never done before; the first time he'd tried waiting in the other's apartment as a newly-born hollow, he'd lasted approximately ten minutes before being frustrated at what seemed to him as a ridiculously long time.

However, even then he'd retained enough of his original intelligence to realise that to break into the school would be an extremely bad idea. Instead, he'd spent most of his time trying to evolve in Hueco Mundo, since there seemed very little else to do and the hunger burnt at his belly almost all the time.

Becoming an adjuchas had been a considerable improvement.

After that...

Uryuu had been surprised that his appearance had changed, if relieved. It was easier to communicate as an adjuchas, as well as being rather less unwieldy trying to fit in the apartment; for one thing, his original form had taken up approximately three-quarters of the free space in the apartment. And adjucha were governed rather less by instinct, even if they were still almost entirely animalistic in appearance.

Then it had taken over two months of what seemed like almost unending torment; hunting down hollow after hollow after hollow until he thought that he might lose himself in the voices of the souls he devoured, that the evolution was impossible and that he was striving for a dream that would never happen. Normal hollows may never sleep, not even for a minute, for fear that they will die at the hands of another or that they will fall into the darkness, devolving to become mindless creatures once more, and Ichigo had worked tirelessly lest he drown in the minds of others.

But oh, it was worth it, even though Uryuu shouted at him until his throat was sore afterwards.

He briefly wondered what to do about the bag, before deciding to drop the wallet off at the woman's house later. Trying to find the would-be burglar again wouldn't be worth the effort.

_Asano, Asano, Asano... wasn't that name familiar from somewhere?_ _Oh yeah... wasn't there that guy Keigo who goes to school with Ishida? Maybe his sister..._

* * *

Somewhere in Soul Society, in the darkness, a little red flashing light was set off.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

A shadowy figure approached a keyboard, before tapping in a long and complicated series of keystrokes.

_Beep._

A screen was brought up, revealing a map complete with teeny-tiny moving dots and figures upon it, superimposed upon a background that was shades of crimson.

_Beep._

A long fingernail trailed across the map, coming to rest at a figure currently at the location where the red was deepest.

_Bee-_

The noise was silenced once more.

The figure stared at the screen, before its mouth split into a wide grin.

"_In_-teresting."

* * *

_"You've been delegated to Karakura Town for the time being. There are some strange readings we've been having there that we're not entirely sure of, but the area is one spirit mile in diameter, so there shouldn't be too much difficulty."_

Rukia looked down at the cityscape of the Living World, and hesitated, just for a fraction of a second, before stepping out into the night.

* * *

Ichigo stopped in front of the door, wallet in hand, as his tail flicked from side to side.

On one hand, it would be the right thing to do, but on the other... Keigo, the brother, had above-ordinary reiatsu, and Ichigo suspected he'd been seen by the teenager once.

He dropped it on the doormat, and then pressed the bell carefully, making sure not to put a hole through it by accident.

The door opened.

"Hello?"

Keigo looked around for the person responsible for pressing the doorbell, and drew a complete blank.

"Jeez..." he muttered. "Sis, do you _have_ to scare off everyone who comes round?"

"Did I hear you say something _rude_ about your older sister?"

"Nothing!" he shouted quickly, just as she appeared at his shoulder.

"...what's this?" He reached down, picking up the wallet. "Sis, did you leave your wallet on the porch or something?"

"Some asshole nicked my wallet earlier! If only I had a big strong muscly boyfriend – " Mizuho cut off her rambling to stare at the object in Keigo's hands. "Where was that?"

"I just picked it up. Someone left it on the porch." Keigo stepped outside properly, checking the street.

Crouching just above, Ichigo let out a silent sigh of relief.

"They must have gone already..."

"I... someone rescued my wallet?" _That's really romantic! But kind of creepy that somebody knew how to find me... nonetheless... maybe I've got a secret admirer! Maybe he's bald!_

Keigo glanced back into the street, and did a double-take at the little piece of paper fluttering down in front of his nose as his sister rambled about bald boyfriends. He caught it in his hand.

A hastily-scratched note read _I am not a secret admirer, I do not wish to date your sister and I am not bald. Sorry._

He stared up. A flash of white and orange caught his eye for a fraction of a second, before he blinked and decided he must be imagining things.

Keigo closed the door again.

Crouched on the roof, Ichigo let out a breath. That might have been close... but then again, he didn't really want having Keigo's sister searching for her secret admirer in order to have kids with him. He wasn't even sure it was anatomically possible for hollows to have children, and really _didn't_ want to find out.

* * *

A doorway opened.

"It's near..."

* * *

Rukia inspected her immediate surroundings as the Senkaimon slid shut behind her. From the look of things, she was standing in someone's apartment. There were traces of hollow all over, which confused her; how could the room still be perfectly intact if a hollow had attacked here? They tended to leave more mess, and besides, there was no sign of a victim. The only moving thing in the room was the human currently tapping on some strange kind of device that looked as if it might have come from 12th Division, had the division ever felt inclined to make their devices look cool... no, the tapping made words come up on the... _something_ that was in front of the tapping device. Or maybe they were part of the same thing –

"Do you generally break into other people's apartments?"

At first, she thought the human was talking to the strange device, before he swivelled on his chair to glare at her.

She blinked, suddenly uncertain.

"Well, shinigami?" he snapped harshly.

Rukia suddenly found her voice again. "You... you can see me?"

"Obviously."

_...how? He's a human! No human should have enough spiritual pressure to -_

Suddenly, her eyes widened. _No wonder there are traces of hollow in this apartment... it's been stalking him! Lying in wait to strike and feed on his soul... he has an abnormal amount of spiritual pressure... but why can't he sense it? Or maybe, _she thought, suddenly horrified, _the hollow hasn't come through yet and the reiatsu is leaking through from the hollow opening a portal into the Living World right now -_

"You," she said curtly, taking control of the situation.

The teenager - no more than a boy, really - raised an eyebrow. "You've finally decided to leave, then?"

She glowered at him. "While I would love the opportunity to argue with you further, unfortunately, I'm more concerned with saving your life right now. Show a little respect."

His face paled slightly, but he managed to regain his composure.

"Oh really," he replied sardonically. "And what, exactly, do I need saving from?"

Rukia growled inwardly. She did _not_ have the patience to deal with this rude boy who was probably about a sixth of her age, if that. "A bad spirit has probably been stalking you as its prey, given the traces around your apartment. I am a shinigami, someone who fights those spirits. And you need to leave this apartment. Now."

"You really expect me to believe that?"

Alright, that was _enough_. Human or no human, he had irritated her enough for the time being.

"Bakudo #1: Sai!"

The kido was perfectly calibrated and aimed. Unfortunately, she hadn't calculated for the fact that the boy might dodge. He was surprisingly fast for a human. As a result, the spell went out the window instead.

_Or maybe... maybe the boy has the hollow riding in his soul._

_Like Kaien-dono._

Her thoughts treacherously slid back to that night.

_Sode no Shirayuki slick, wet with his blood, the metallic scent of crimson taint – _

"Shinigami. Get _out_ of my apartment now, before I make you." His eyes glittered angrily behind the glasses.

_No... If he were a hollow, he would have almost certainly struck first and answered questions later. But then... how did he know about the word shinigami before I even mentioned it? Unless he's seen them before?_

Rukia felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle. Something was seriously wrong here.

A clatter of metal nearby. Her eyes flickered over to the door, then back at the apparent teenager.

Apparently this apartment had another occupant.

Whatever lay in the next room, though, had no human reiatsu. It had no reiatsu she could detect at all.

And that_ terrified_ her. If it _was_ the hollow – which was looking more and more likely – then it was almost certainly a Menos Grande, one of the more powerful hollows. Not Gillian – too bulky, stupid, lumbering and obvious. One of those wouldn't even fit in this entire apartment block. An adjuchas seemed more likely. That she _might_ be able to handle with her shikai, just about, or at least occupy it for long enough for backup to arrive.

If it were one of the fabled Vasto Lorde... she and the boy were both royally screwed.

_The sound might just be coincidence, _her hopeful half suggested.

_Of course, there's always the possibility he was playing host to the hollow and was the source of the reiatsu in the first place, _chipped in her fatalistic half with unnecessary cheeriness.

She reached down for the communication device –

"No!"

He lunged at her, catching her by surprise and causing the device to clatter against the floor. He grabbed it before smashing it against the floor, breaking it.

Rukia stared at him, disbelieving.

"You utter – "

"I won't let you call for backup, shinigami." His eyes were cold. "Leave. _Now._ This is the last time I will ask. If you don't, I won't hesitate to kill you."

And _now_ she felt the darker taint to his reiatsu, pressing against her will.

_I can't leave him like this... the hollow has suppressed the boy's soul entirely. It's the only possible explanation for the reiatsu around here and the intact body._

_For the sake of the human he was before... I will purify it._

Rukia focused, hard. If this was going to work, she needed the element of surprise.

The boy began focusing reishi into a solid form. Apparently he wasn't waiting for a response.

_Now! Bakudo #1: Sai!_

Taken by surprise by the unvocalised kido, the boy was paralysed, breaking his concentration and providing a split-second's worth of opportunity.

"Bakudo #4: Hainawa!"

The bright-yellow rope of light wound its way around the teen's body, binding him tightly and forcing him to the ground –

– which was about the time that the door opened, revealing a humanoid hollow with two plates carefully balanced on a tray.

Gold eyes glanced at the scene with interest.

"...wow. I didn't know you were into bondage sessions with shinigami, Ishida." His voice - _no, _she corrected herself, _the hollow's voice - _was remarkably human. And that could only be bad.

"S-shut up!" The boy's face was now bright red as he glowered up at the hollow.

The hollow's gaze shifted to her. "Hi. I don't remember Ishida mentioning a girlfriend, particularly not a shinigami, but – "

_There are two of them?_

In one swift movement, Rukia drew the blade. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki."

" - then I guess - "

"Ichigo, you idiot, GET OUT!" the teen yelled from his position on the floor.

_Too late, _Rukia thought grimly.

"Tsugi no mai: Hakuren!"

A giant wave of ice exploded forth, engulfing the pair and flash-freezing their bodies, as well as everything else in the apartment.

In theory.

"That wasn't very nice," came the mild voice of the hollow through the mist. "You killed dinner."

And with a harsh buzz, the hollow was behind her, its bladed tail suddenly at her throat, nicking it slightly.

Rukia's vision began to blur as she slumped slightly into the hollow's ice-coated arms, its tail unwinding from around her neck.

"Sorry," was the last thing she heard before she succumbed to unconsciousness. "This shouldn't hurt too much."

And then... nothing.

* * *

Omake

* * *

_What is he trying to protect? _she wondered. Her eyes flickered to the door.

A clatter of metal.

Whatever lay in the next room had no human reiatsu. It had no reiatsu she could detect, at all.

And that_ terrified_ her. If it _was_ the hollow - which was looking more and more likely - then it was almost certainly a Menos Grande. Not Gillian - too bulky, lumbering and obvious. One of those wouldn't even fit in this entire apartment block. An adjuchas seemed more likely. That she _might_ be able to handle with her shikai, just about, or at least occupy it for long enough for backup to arrive.

If it were one of the fabled Vasto Lorde... she and the boy were both royally screwed.

_I must be insanely idiotic or suicidal. Possibly both... maybe I'm turning into Renji._

With one swift movement, she yanked the door open, revealing a hallway, before drawing Sode no Shirayuki and wrenching open the door behind which lay the source of the noise, thrusting her zanpakuto at it.

"...why are you trying to attack my washing machine?"


	2. Aftermath

**A/N: **[this A/N removed due to irrelevancy]

* * *

The kido dissipated in a scattering of fading blue spiritron as Uryuu stood up and Ichigo lowered the shinigami's limp body to the couch.

"Next time you decide to invite a girlfriend, remember to check whether or not she's a shinigami first. Oh, and you may want to mention you cohabit with a hollow."

Uryuu detected the faintest hint of frigidity in the other's voice, and bristled, dusting off stray ice crystals.

"She is _not_ my girlfriend. That shinigami turned up in this apartment straight out of a Senkaimon gate. As if I would ever date a shinigami!"

"Obviously." Ichigo glowered at the now-frozen meals. "And I even went to all the effort of making crispy tempura... she _froze_ it." His tail flicked in annoyance. "She might have broken the apartment walls if I hadn't blocked that last attack! _With_ my body, too."

"Did you kill her?" Uryuu asked bluntly.

"What? No. That toxin isn't fatal." Ichigo shrugged, causing some of the ice on his body to crack.

"It would probably have been better if you had."

"That's unnecessary. Even if she _had _died, all that would have done would be to bring even more shinigami down on us."

Uryuu scowled at the other's logic, even though it was flawless. "What's _your_ solution, then?"

"She should wake up in a few hours with a headache and a slight loss of her powers. Her memories of what happened will be fuzzy, at best. She won't be in any condition to come looking for us again."

"Then we dump her outside."

"No, we don't," argued Ichigo. "She'll be easy prey for any hollows that come along then. Any deaths and the shinigami will send in even more forces to find out what happened. Stronger ones... maybe even taichous. And that'll only lead to casualties." And the unspoken sentence, _I don't want you to get hurt._

"What do you suggest, then?"

"Leave her to Hat'n'Clogs. _He _can deal with her."

The ghost of a smirk tugged at Uryuu's lips, before he nodded decisively.

* * *

"My, my... and what are my two favourite customers doing? Would you like a – "

"Urahara-san, we have a problem," Ishida said curtly to the shopkeeper.

"Oh? Who's this? Your new girlfriend?" Kisuke raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"A shinigami decided to turn up in our apartment," Ichigo replied cheerfully. "Don't worry, she isn't dead."

"Hmm... I suppose I can use a memory modifier for a small fee."

"She won't need one," the hollow stated with some confidence. "She won't remember anything from what happened. Short-term amnesia and reiatsu suppressant. At any rate, she won't be aiming any kido spells at anyone for a while."

"It's just as well she's still alive. This is Rukia Kuchiki, I believe. Adopted sister to Byakuya Kuchiki, the taichou of the 6th Division and head of one of the Four Noble Houses of Seireitei."

Uryuu paled visibly, before noticing that Ichigo was now sticking his tongue out at him in a childish gesture. His expression quickly changed into a scowl.

"Her reiatsu is lower than I'd expect, though. Were you responsible for that?"

"Yes."

"You get scarier every time I meet you, it seems," Kisuke commented with a lighthearted air. "Well, she won't be able to use her shinigami abilities for a while, at least. Miss Kuchiki will probably be staying in the Living World until she regains them."

'Miss Kuchiki' mumbled something about Chappy from her position on Kisuke's couch, causing Ichigo to glance at her nervously.

"Uh, I think we should probably go before she wakes up again." Ichigo glanced at Uryuu. "Even if her reiatsu's depleted, I doubt she'll react well if I'm around when she wakes up."

"I thought you said that your poison caused amnesia?" Uryuu asked curiously.

The hollow rolled his eyes. "Yes, but even if she doesn't remember me, she'll still try to kill me on sight. Because I'm a _hollow_, in case you've forgotten."

Uryuu felt his heart clench. Despite everything, he still felt responsible for the other's hollowification. Unfortunately, the only ability that the Quincy had pertaining to souls was the ability to perceive and destroy them completely. There was no in-between, like the shinigami's ability to use their blades to assist souls in their passing on or to purify the hollows they fought.

_They failed Ichigo when it was most important. And that... is something that I can _never_ forgive._

His mood darkened._ And then that shinigami has the nerve to enter my apartment and try to kill Ichigo. She's lucky I didn't just kill her on the spot_ -

"Uryuu? You've got that look on your face again." Ichigo waved his hand in front of the smaller teen's face.

He blinked. "What?"

"That look," he explained patiently. "As if you're about to kill something."

He glowered at Ichigo.

"Try not to put a hole through the shinigami just yet, okay?"

Ishida huffed.

* * *

It was easy to forget sometimes that Ichigo was a hollow. His demeanour and behaviour were close enough to human, most of the time.

Uryuu focused on condensing the scraps of hollow reishi spread about the apartment. There had been enough to concern Soul Society, so he'd have to get rid of it all... the silver tubes would do to contain them, although he wasn't sure what kind of effect it would have if he used them.

Ichigo often spent the days out of the apartment. He wouldn't tell Uryuu exactly where he'd gone or what he'd been doing, but Ishida was more than capable of guessing. No hollow would be able to sustain itself for long on the amount of normal food that Ichigo ate, and besides, the changes to his form were something that could only come about by the consumption of a considerable number of souls. Uryuu knew little on the subject of the evolution of hollows, save for the fact that they could, under normal circumstances, evolve four times (as far as Ichigo knew, although according to him there was rumoured to be a fifth evolution above even the Vasto Lorde, those hollows that could not only bear against the shinigami taichous with ease but also defeat them).

He really didn't want to see what would happen if Ichigo reached any further evolutions. Uryuu was painfully aware of the fact that if it came to a fight with Ichigo, he was definitely going to come out worse off. Thinking of what might happen if he ever gained that power above even a _taichou..._

Uryuu shuddered.

_No. Ichigo isn't the sort of person to abuse power._

His scowl deepened as his thoughts flickered over to the shinigami. The cause of all this, it seemed...

Despite the fact that Ichigo had absorbed the worst of the attack with his body, she'd still made a mess of his apartment nonetheless.

If he ever saw her again... nobility or not, there would be a_ reckoning_.

_Why couldn't they just leave us _alone?

* * *

The crescent moon shone palely out upon the desert.

In Hueco Mundo, the moon was always a crescent, the sky always in darkness other than that one source of light, and the desert seemingly endless.

Of course, Ichigo knew it wasn't _really_ endless. The last time he'd been trying to evolve, he'd spent almost a month straight in Hueco Mundo. Over that time, he'd discovered that the majority of the desert was surrounded by mountains on the west and east sides, coming together and joining as one went further north. To the south – _much_ further south – lay a sea, although not the kind that anyone would ever want to swim in. He hadn't gone beyond that; attempting to cross the water had disturbed a number of rather unsavoury hollows which made that place their home.

And roughly in the centre, a place that the other hollows revered and feared in almost equal amounts, the palace of Las Noches.

Ordinary hollow kept well away from the monument, staying beneath the moonlit desert or near the mountains for fear that the self-proclaimed King of Hollows might come upon them and demand their souls in payment for his so-called rule. Only the stronger adjucha or the Vasto Lorde strayed above the desert regularly, and thus it was the place where both the best hunters and the best prey came.

The one currently struggling before him was not perhaps _such_ a prime example, but it would do.

"_Wait!_" it gasped.

Ichigo kept the sharp edge of the blades on his forearms pressed against the hollow's body, but retracted his tail from the throat.

"And your last words are?"

"Barragan Luisenbarn - an offer - "The creature choked.

"Not interested. Sorry." He adjusted the left blade to run it through the hollow's dark hide.

"No! Aizen - promises you will become arrancar – "

_Arrancar?_

Ichigo dropped the hollow, where it lay panting on the ground before him.

"Who is this Aizen?"

"He came... promising all hollows who follow him - " it gasped - "power. To become arrancar. Destroy the shinigami for good. Then we'll be the rulers." The hollow was grinning now.

_How? How can it be so simple to become arrancar?_

"A Vasto Lorde?" _I would have thought I would have heard of him..._

His tail snaked back around the creature's neck as it screamed, trying to scramble away.

The isoscele, the triangular tip, made contact with the creature's blood.

_He is – _

Ichigo's eyes widened, mind racing away at the thought.

_A shinigami? Working for war against his own kind?_

"I refuse to work with a traitor who would as easily turn on me."

There was a sickening crack, then silence reigned over the desert once more.

He wiped the bloody blades on his forearms upon the sand, before retracting them into his body once more. Water would be better at cleaning the blood from his body, but there would be none of that until he went back to Uryuu's apartment, and he didn't want to scare the other by coming back looking as if he'd been in too much of a fight.

Not that such a pathetic specimen of adjuchas would ever manage to kill _him_... but it _had_ satiated his hunger for the time being.

Ichigo raised a finger, tore at the air, opening a garganta.

He stepped through.

* * *

Uryuu felt the faint trembling of opening garganta, and relaxed at the slight threads of reiatsu leaking through. Ichigo was back.

He let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, and continued working through the algebra. It wasn't strictly necessary work, but studying ahead was always useful to him, even if not immediately...

_Differential of ln(x) is 1/x, so substituting out for tanh(y)..._

* * *

Rukia groaned, squinting at her surroundings.

_Where am I?_

She had a pounding headache.

_Augh..._

"Good morning, Rukia-chan!~"

The voice was far too cheery. She had a sudden urge to smack its owner in the face - _no, _she reminded herself, _you're a Kuchiki now, not some Rukongai brawler. Always keep your cool, no matter what... even if it is an annoying fourth-division person. And besides, they're just trying to help, after all, after what happened – _

Her forehead wrinkled into a frown.

What _had_ happened?

She was sent after the hollow, and had been patrolling Karakura Town when there had been something pale moving with impossible speed –

"You shouldn't move too much, Rukia-chan. You were hurt quite badly, I believe..."

"Where am I?" she croaked, before breaking into a coughing fit.

A glass of water was placed in her hands. She drank greedily.

"You were knocked out by a car moving at quite a high speed," came the cheery voice. "I believe the driver wasn't injured too badly, but you _were_ dazed for long enough for a hollow to attack you. It's very lucky I was around at the time! After all, who knows what might have happened otherwise?"

She blinked as her vision began to come into focus. A blonde man wearing a striped hat was smiling at her while fanning himself.

Rukia's eyes narrowed.

"Kisuke Urahara at your service, by the way."

* * *

Uryuu glowered at the tidy blankets. Ichigo hadn't come back after his brief earlier visit, at least not that he'd noticed.

_Probably staying away from the shinigami..._

Sighing, he slung the schoolbag over his shoulder, scribbling out a note that he was going to get food from the grocery store on the way back for dinner, and that Ichigo didn't need to worry about it.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that the journey to his school barely registered in his mind, avoiding obstacles without looking up from the ground.

"Ishida-kun!"

He glanced up, startled, as the russet-haired girl waved at him.

"Inoue-san?"

She was beaming at him. This caused warning bells to start ringing, particularly since the last time she'd had a smile like that she'd said he'd looked lonely and offered to share her lunch with him. He had been surprised but gratified by the offer, although he _had_ wondered at the time why Tatsuki Arisawa had been making frantic hand gestures at him. He'd suspected that it had something to do with the fact that the two were rather close, and didn't particularly want to come, but if it made Inoue-san happy...

He'd found out why shortly after when he discovered the joys of mackerel and chocolate paste sandwiches, complete with extra mustard. It had taken a considerable amount of self-control to eat an entire sandwich, a feat which had left Tatsuki in awe of him. Ever since then, he'd declined lunch invitations from her, telling her politely that he really wasn't hungry.

"Ishida-kun, you look worried about something... are you alright?" she asked, with a concerned expression on her face.

He shook his head, clearing his mind, before realising that the appropriate answer was a 'yes' and turning it into a nod instead.

"Oh... I just wondered whether you'd met the new exchange student yet, apparently she's come from Tokyo –"

The 'new exchange student' walked into the room.

Uryuu Ishida stared at Rukia Kuchiki.

_What the – _

"Hello."

"Ah! Good morning! You must be Kuchiki-kun!"

Uryuu's left eye started twitching as Orhime and Rukia began chatting, just before the teacher came in and assigned the Kuchiki a seat and desk partner to work with.

_Must strangle Urahara-san next time I see him..._

"You are Ishida, correct?"

He jumped.

She was sitting right next to him.

"Apparently I'm your new desk partner," Rukia announced, beaming at him, before she leaned over towards him to whisper in his ear with a suddenly anxious expression.

"By the way... what are we meant to be doing?"

_Someone up there really, really hates me._

It was going to be a long, long day.


	3. Reencounter I

******A/N:** I'm trying to make it so neither Uryuu nor Ichigo are ridiculously overpowered (glares at Tite Kubo)... as a result, I'm a little worried about their abilities. Please let me know what you think... also, let me know if I screwed up Romaji translations. :P

* * *

...it was worse than he'd expected.

Not only did Soul Society apparently not provide _any_ information about interacting normally with the Living World to its subordinates, watching the shinigami attempting to blend in was just painful. It took a considerable amount of his patience to resist the urge to stab her with his sewing needles.

* * *

("No _way!_ How'd he manage to pick up a chick like her already? She's an exchange student! She only just got here!"

"I don't think they're dating, Asano-san."

"Please stop calling me that..."

"But the expression on your face when you're flustered is so _cute_, Asano-san..."

"That's not the – wait, wha-")

* * *

"Thank you for helping me, Ishida-san." Kuchiki sucked on the end of the straw contentedly, watching the clouds go by.

Uryuu glared at her.

The shinigami, regrettably, seemed completely oblivious to his dislike.

_I am a Quincy, your enemy, standing right next to you... _

He had envisaged this moment for a long time; his first _true_ encounter with a shinigami. They would recognise each other from their reiatsu, their eyes would meet across the distance between them, there would be a curt nod and a brief exchange of names, and the deep rivalry between them would be officially Declared with a capital D before the two of them began their long-awaited showdown.

_...and you haven't even noticed my presence._

The juicebox made a slurping noise.

The corner of Uryuu's eye twitched.

* * *

He managed to lose the shinigami at lunch time, when Orihime Inoue introduced herself, although he did find it somewhat amusing when Inoue commented that Kuchiki had manners like a princess, particularly given the fact that Kuchiki had spluttered after this.

"Kuchiki-chan, do you want to share some lunch with me?"

Uryuu _almost_ considered going back to stop the shinigami from having lunch with Inoue. Almost.

"R-really? You don't have to, Inoue-san – "

(Round about now, he suspected, Tatsuki Arisawa would be making frantic hand-gestures at Rukia Kuchiki.)

"It's okay! You can call me Orihime since we're friends, and you didn't seem to have anything packed, unless you wanted to get something, but that would be okay too – "

(And just then, Orihime Inoue would have the slightly disappointed puppy-dog expression that nobody could resist.)

"Friends..."

"Mhm!"

"Uh, Orihime – "

"~You're free to eat lunch with us if you want... but Hime is _mine!_ But _maaaybe,_" and he could practically _hear _Chizuru Honsho leering, "we could have a celebration of – "

_Whack._

"Stop being such a pervert, Honsho!"

"T-Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart!"

"Ah, it isn't a problem, Kuchiki-chan! Would you like some Nutella and liver pate sandwiches? I made them with a secret ingredient!"

"What kind of secret ingredient?"

Uryuu blinked. She wasn't cowed by Inoue's cooking, apparently.

"Black pudding! It was really hard to get over here, I think it's a bit of a specialist ingredient but it makes the taste really good!"

The Quincy could _feel _his digestive system protesting in sympathy.

"That sounds interesting..."

"Here!"

Michiru was returning round the corner with her lunch.

Uryuu decided to make a hasty retreat before he was caught eavesdropping, but not before he heard a slightly nauseated-sounding "Thanks, Orihime, but I really don't feel all that hungry any more..."

* * *

The caves were dark; not that such a thing mattered to him. He hadn't ventured down into the Menos Forest for a _very_ long time... but rumours were beginning to trouble him.

Particularly because of this 'Sosuke Aizen'. Anyone who planned to leave Soul Society in order to gather an army of hollows would not be likely to have a good intention towards the Living World, and Ichigo wanted himself and Uryuu as far out of the entire business as possible. A war of hollows was liable to lead to the complete destruction of Seireitei, if the arrancar were as powerful as they were rumoured to be and enough of the Vasto Lorde sided with Aizen. And then _that_ would result in a free-for-all in the Living World, with no shinigami to stop the hollows any more. One Quincy and three exiled shinigami wouldn't be enough to protect the entirety of the area covered by the Seireitei.

Either that, or the shinigami would triumph, and there would be an invasion of Hueco Mundo to wipe out the hollows. The Vasto Lorde might, perhaps, be able to withstand them if they were united, but then if Seireitei sought assistance from the other branches of Soul Society... it was unlikely that a single hollow of Gillian rank or above would be left standing.

Evidently _something_ had to be done, which was why he was currently looking for others.

The most powerful hollows were not, in general, sociable. They had somewhat of a tendency to be solitary creatures, in the habit of watching out for other potential competitors and picking them off, just in case any powerful adjucha decided to band together and risk their luck at bringing down a Vasto Lorde. It was part of the reason they were so few... but the hollow he was searching for was surprisingly amiable to others, even going so far as to protect and live with two adjucha she considered as friends.

Ichigo did not, however, have a good feeling about finding her; she was not overly fond of the shinigami, and he had not seen her for a while -

The screams of Gillians echoed in the cavern.

* * *

Ashido Kano was in a morbid mood. This could, perhaps, be explained for by the fact that he was very likely to die in the next five minutes.

The last four members of his expeditionary squad had fallen behind him, taken out by cero blasts, poison breath or a particularly nasty-looking hollow's spike-bludgeoned tail. He'd managed to avoid most of these attacks by the use of a not inconsiderable amount of kido and fast reactions; the others had not been so fortunate.

Nonetheless, he was considerably outnumbered. He lifted his zanpakuto for what he expected would be the last time, before uttering a silent prayer that the souls of his comrades would one day be free again and leaping forth. Bringing his blade in an upward slash, he managed to cut deep into a Gillian, causing it to scream and topple over before the others came up behind it, charging crimson cero –

– and stopped.

"_What are you doing,_ you dolts?_! I ORDERED YOU TO DESTROY HIM!"_ screamed the leader, extending his claws at one of the Gillian in his fury and felling it.

The other Gillian refused to move, instead making a low keening noise.

"Boss, Aizen ain't gonna be happy if – "

Ashido took advantage of the momentary distraction to lop the offending hollow's head off. The other adjucha screeched in rage before turning back to the fight.

There was a harsh buzz.

"Wh-"

"Too slow."

"-a-" The hollow that had been speaking suddenly gave out a low gurgle as his head, now disconnected from his shoulders, slid off onto the ground.

Ashido didn't quite manage to catch what happened next, but two seconds later, almost all the remaining Adjucha all had holes through the centre of their chests.

The intruder's hands were bloody as they slid to the ground, while the white bone blades protruding from his forearms pressed into the last adjuchas' throat.

"You mentioned Sosuke Aizen?"

* * *

On the way back from buying lunch, Uryuu noted the slight trembling of the air and the sensation of hollow reiatsu. Ichigo probably wouldn't be around, since he wouldn't want to catch undue attention, and the shingami currently assigned to the town wasn't in any shape to do much, judging by the amount of reiatsu he'd sensed from her earlier.

Which left him, unless someone turned up.

_Oh, great._

He casually made his way closer to the site of the hollow's imminent arrival.

There wasn't screaming as the garganta slid open, but then again, he hadn't expected there to be. The humans were mainly unaware of the presence of their invisible watcher, although they did speed up somewhat if they were walking.

He was in an alleyway, so hopefully nobody would see as he drew reishi about his body, focusing it into the familiar form of the bow.

Uryuu waited, just in case. He disliked having to use the bow, and didn't want to unless it was absolutely necessary.

Nobody was coming. He raised, sighted in a fraction of a second, adjusted his aim slightly -

"Ury-!"

And had a certain midget collide with his back, causing his shot to go wide and break through a glass window. The hollow, suddenly startled, decided that discretion was the better part of valour (or rather, satisfying its hunger) and tore a garganta open, departing swiftly before it was attacked again.

This didn't do much to make Uryuu feel much better, though, since he now had Rukia Kuchiki sitting on him.

A Rukia Kuchiki who was now very much aware of his Quincy powers.

..._shit._

* * *

Kokoro kessoku (心の結束): Mind Bond/Unity of Heart. This is the ability that Ichigo uses to connect into another being's mind. The isosceles (triangular blade) on his tail has numerous barbs which can slide in and out at will. If these connect with any part of the nervous system of another being, he is capable of sensing their emotions and thoughts on a high level. These barbs can be released at will in order to create a permanent connection with that being. If the subject of this ability is relatively weak, he is also capable of using this ability to control them, although he is not able to do this to a fine level. Also, it is possible for Ichigo to become overwhelmed by a person's mind or emotions if they are strong enough. It is hypothesized that a sufficiently high reiatsu level and an unwillingness for such a connection would result in the failure of this technique – further research required.

(Uryuu Ishida possesses such a permanent connection with Ichigo Kurosaki. As a result, Ichigo is capable of telling if Uryuu is in serious danger, to some extent, although he appears to prefer not to use this connection. This connection was initially established by accident, while Ichigo was on the verge of evolving into a Gillian. It is thought to be a two-way connection, although this is unconfirmed - see folder on Uryuu Ishida.)

Doku ekitai koshou (毒液体故障): Breakdown Venom. This is the toxin which may be secreted from the isoscele on Ichigo's tail. The longer he remains in contact with the subject, the more severe the effects will be. A millisecond is sufficient to cause dizziness and slight loss of reiatsu for many opponents. A second (the time for which Rukia Kuchiki was in contact with the venom) is likely to cause fainting and severe reiatsu loss in most creatures. Half a minute of contact would almost certainly be sufficient to kill most captains by completely destroying their reiatsu. However, the venom must be secreted into the bloodstream in order to take full effect, so the skin of the subject must be pierced first. Also, most captains would be difficult to subdue for an entire half-minute. Any souls killed in this way appear to be unappetising to hollows. The length of the effects of this venom depend considerably on the original reiatsu levels of the subject.

Further research about both required, specimen obtainment for experimentation desirable.


	4. Reencounter II

**A/N: **I have no idea how this happened, but somehow this story has apparently descended into pseudocrack when I read through it a second time.

...I blame dengue fever. That stuff made me feel really _itchy_ and then I took Piriton because I didn't get any sleep for 24 hours and then I went into a weird sort of whacked-out mode after the Piriton where I wanted to fall asleep and stay awake at the same time because I was worried about Tsukishima (or whatever that weirdass new manga villain is called, the one with the stabby sword) getting to me.

I'm fine now though, I promi - oh hey, sparkly things!

* * *

"Uryuu, what just – but – you – "

_Yes. Now make the goddamn connection already._

Her gaze slid to the bow in his hand.

"You…"

"It took you long enough, shinigami." He adjusted his glasses with one hand, glowering at her.

"Wha- how did you know I was a shinigami?"

Uryuu twitched.

"I am the Last Quincy, and your opponent, shini-"

"Opponent? Quincy?"

He had the sudden urge to start beating his head against the wall.

"Look, how did you know I was a – "

Uryuu finally gave in to his urges.

"Seriously, is it that hard of a question to answer?"

_Maybe if I close my eyes, I'll wake up and everything will be normal again,_ he thought before the part of his brain that he often classified as 'sensible' promptly processed that sentence and politely reminded him of the fact that 'normal' did not usually involve flatsharing with a Menos Grande, in a tone that sounded annoyingly like Ichigo's.

_Normal for me, then._

"Hey! Stop doing that!" Uryuu received an unexpected whack to the back of the skull, causing him to stagger as the shinigami readied her satchel for another blow, if necessary.

"I am a Quincy, a human with spiritual powers capable of shooting hollows and will you please stop because you're giving me a headache right now and I'm _not_ in a good mood."

The shinigami stopped, staring at him.

"Quincy? I've never heard of that word before."

_Ugh._

"Evidently they don't teach about that in your school any more, then. There aren't any others."

"You just made up the name 'Quincy', didn't you? That's why I've never – "

He spun around to glare at her properly.

"The reason you've never heard of the Quincy before was because we were all but wiped out by the shinigami over a century ago. I'm the only one _left._ And you're not necessary here."

"That's stupid. The shinigami would never do something like that without – "

She shut up quickly upon seeing the expression on Uryuu's face.

_We were doing a better job than you ever did…_

"…I'm sorry."

Uryuu blinked. The expression on the shini – _Kuchiki's_ face was considerably gentler now.

A 'hmph' escaped his lips as he turned, scowling again.

"Thanks, I guess."

"…what?"

The midget shinigami glowered at him. "Are you deaf? I said thank you."

"…why?"

"For getting rid of the hollow," she replied with some effort, refusing to meet his incredulous gaze.

"Why didn't you do it? It's your responsibility, after all…"

"I was _about_ to before you rushed in!"

"Really. And how much destruction would it have inflicted before you managed to remove it?" he drawled. "Besides, you were late anyway, and couldn't even detect _my_ presence in the class earlier."

"I _wondered_ why you were frowning all the time you were looking at me. I thought maybe the wind changed and your face got stuck like that permanently."

The corner of Uryuu's eye twitched again.

"Why don't you just go back to where you belong now, then. I see no particular reason for you to be around here now the hollow left."

"Because I have an extremely important job. And it isn't completed yet." She folded her arms across her chest with a somewhat self-righteous air, just before her face shifted into a contemplative frown. "Actually…"

_Oh shit…_

"…come to think of it, I could use some assistance…"

_HELL NO._

She smirked. "Since you're so much better than I am, prove it."

Uryuu glared at the irritating midget.

"Fine." He adjusted his glasses in anticipation of the challenge awaiting him. There was absolutely no way he was ever going to be bested by an undersized shinigami.

"Do you know where we can find another of those juiceboxes?"

* * *

Ashido wasn't quite sure what to make of the hollow before him.

He – for the hollow was _definitely_ male, either that or _very_ flat-chested – was sitting in front of him, legs crossed and tail casually slung over lap, holding what could have easily been a meeting at a well-off café in one of the better-off parts of Rukongai had it not been for his appearance. The civility was surprising.

"The only place you've heard of him is from the other hollow down here?"

"Correct," Ashido replied warily. He was still cautious about the hollow, since its motives were entirely unclear and it took a considerable amount of willpower to overcome the part of his brain screaming that there was something very dangerous in front of him with stabby horns and claws that could easily break his neck in an instant and he should really start running, right _now_.

"Never in Seireitei?"

He tensed slightly. "No. We do not generally take interest in the names of hollows."

"Really?" replied the other conversationally. "According to some of the hollow I've run into, Aizen is the name of a _shinigami._ I could be wrong, but I doubt your Seireitei would willingly let someone try to build up their own personal hollow army."

_What? _Ashido started. "No shinigami would ever betray Seireitei in such a fashion – "

Despite the fact that the upper half of his face was covered by his mask, the hollow still managed to convey the expression of raising an eyebrow. "Really?"

He stood abruptly. "I should warn them-"

"If there's a traitor in Seireitei, then they're likely to get you offed before your warning gets through. Not to mention the fact that they're probably going to be suspicious of you anyway. If you've been in Hueco Mundo for over 50 years, you're probably declared dead as it is." The hollow stretched calmly.

"Could you – "

The hollow's gaze intensified. "If you really think I'm going to risk my ass running into Seireitei to let them know someone's about to betray them..."

_I suppose it was a ridiculous question to ask anyway._

"At any rate," it proclaimed, stretching, "I suppose I should thank you for the intelligent conversation. It's been kinda hard finding people to chat with recently."

Ashido tensed as the hollow stood up –

"Ichigo Kurosaki… I'll be seeing you." With a carefree wave, the air slid apart, permitting the hollow entrance.

"Wait!" Ashido called, making for the rift as it began to slide shut, before resigning himself to his self-inflicted imprisonment once more.

At any rate, his meeting had beaten being devoured by hollows…

* * *

Uryuu was not in a good mood.

The prime reason was that the shinigami was still in town.

The secondary reason was that he could not _find_ said shinigami's prescence, due to the fact that Kuchiki-san was currently in what was possibly a power-sealing gigai.

The tertiary reason was that she showed no signs of leaving any time soon, thus forcing Ichigo to be absent.

The quaternary reason was that one of his sewing projects (an item for Michiru, on request) had gone missing, and he couldn't find it right now.

The _fifth_ was that there was this really irritating sound coming through the walls, which was unusual since next door wasn't generally given to –

He dropped the pen onto his desk, before standing up and making his way towards the bedroom.

"-but the King's sentence…" The modulation of the voice changed. "No! I cannot possibly spend another three years without you, my love! Not even death can part us from being together!" It switched back to what was evidently intended to be a high-pitched female voice. "Dearest Lovino – "

He slammed open the sliding wardrobe door, revealing a pyjama-clad Rukia Kuchiki with what appeared to be a terrible 17th-century European _shojou_ manga. She looked up at him, torch still in hand.

"_What the hell are you doing in here?_!"

"Oh, hello, Ishida-san," she replied in an airy manner. "Since I didn't know anyone else around here, I thought I might as well stay with you for the time being until my powers return properly. Also, Seireitei will get suspicious if I don't do my quota of hollows, so somebody needs to help with that as well and as I don't know anyone else around – "

He sputtered. "You don't just barge into someone's apartment and – and – " Uryuu flailed, attempting to express himself as she fixed him with a beady gaze.

"You wouldn't just leave me in a strange man's house to be ruined for marriage, would you?"

"_What?_! What're you – how is being married even relevant right now? Besides, those are _my_ pyjamas!"

"They look quite small for you." Kuchiki eyed them critically. "Although I like all the little blue flowers decorating the cuffs. It's very pretty."

"They're not… I don't wear them… it was something for a friend – " he protested weakly, as the shinigami perked up at the mention of something interesting.

"You're courting another lady at the same time as you're entertaining a woman in your _home?_!"

Uryuu finally gave up, falling over and landing with a thump face-down on his duvet. "What do you want?"

Something was pushed into his right hand. "Take this."

He pushed himself up off the bed.

It was a zanpakuto.

_Oh. No way. No way in a cold frozen HELL -_

"I need you to perform some konsou, since apparently my reiatsu still hasn't returned enough yet... besides, if souls don't start coming through, my taichou will get worried about me, and they'll probably send down _search parties_." These last two words were pronounced with a side serving of unholy glee.

Uryuu twitched.

"You really should get that seen to," commented Kuchiki, cheerfully.

_Oh god just kill me now and get it over with..._

* * *

_"Idiot! You're only meant to hit the heads!"_

_"...oh, those are supposed to be _heads? _I thought you just got bored and decided to scribble on them all, Kuchiki-san - "_

_Whump._


	5. Headhitting: Bunny Version

**A/N: **...well... I am probably going to lose all laptop rights. x.x;; For some reason, my spelling has gone waaay downhill since the beginning of last year.

By the way, there's no Ichigo today. Also, Uryuu is seriously pyro in this chapter, not to mention somewhat whipped... I don't know what's with me today.

* * *

The not-quite-so-Last Quincy was in a _very_ bad mood.

The idiot midget shinigami had whacked him over the head enough times with the notebook to give him a headache, up until the point where he lost his temper and set fire to it with a box of matches. That would all have been fine, were it not for the fact that she had then dragged him off and insisted that he replace her old notebook, which had mysteriously gone missing while she had been asleep (Ishida pretended to be immune to the suspicious glare directed at him).

And _then_ she had insisted that he take her shopping for normal clothing of the current fashions of the Living World.

_That_ was an insult.

_The clothing I make is perfectly good! Ungrateful midget shinigami rejecting MY creations... but oh no, it just has to have fluffy rabbits on it or she isn't happy -_

"Look, Uryuu! They have a Chappy notebook!"

She shoved it in front of his face. Sure enough, there, taking pride of place on the cover of the _hardback_ sketchbook, was the Demon Rabbit.

"No." He resolutely turned away in the hope that she might finally get the message.

"Uryuu... but you're so _cruel! _It's just a notebook - "

"Which you are not paying for, and I am not buying." He glowered at the female bookshop assistant, just _daring_ her to say anything about the matter. She looked amused, something which irritated him even more. "Come on. I don't have all day to hang around shops, I have work in - " He checked his watch. _Five minutes?_

Uryuu started sprinting out the door, just before a small, feminine hand locked onto his wrist with all the gripping power of a vice. This might have been fine had he not still been moving, and had the person doing the grabbing not yanked back at that precise moment, causing him to topple over as she then conveniently let go.

There was a stifled giggle as he lay on his back, staring at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. Kuchiki seemed to have a knack for causing extreme aggravation, pain and embarrassment. Or maybe she was a bad luck jinx. Certainly there were more hollows around than there had been recently.

"You... that's... so cruel... how could you possibly... abandon me here..." Kuchiki began sniffling, and instantly shifted her expression to wide, watery doe eyes.

"_Fine._" He marched over to the counter, dumping the sketchbook before fishing out his wallet. Having to pay 500 yen extra _just for the patterning_ rankled.

_This shinigami will be the death of me..._

* * *

"So," she said, keeping up with his pace. "I didn't know you had a job."

"I have an apartment of my own. Obviously I have to pay for everything _somehow._"

"Your parents don't..." Kuchiki trailed off at the expression on Uryuu's face.

"My mother is dead. I don't get on with Ryuuken." _If he found out about Ichigo I'd probably be disowned, anyway._

"Your da-?" She cut herself off.

"I support myself financially." Uryuu continued to stare straight ahead, refusing to look at his companion.

There was an awkward pause.

"So… what do you do?"

_Do not look around. _"I work at a clothing store."

"A clothing store."

He turned round, stopping to glare at her. "Look, just because I sew dresses for a living does _not _automatically mean that – "

"You make _dresses?_!"

Uryuu facepalmed. "_Yes._ Those pyjamas you decided to appropriate – " (this was accompanied by a glower at the suddenly innocent-looking Kuchiki) " – were a commisioned item. For a _customer._" _Even if that customer was a student at school._

She averted her gaze, suddenly contrite.

"Sorry. You can have them back if you want," Kuchiki offered generously.

_Finally,_ he thought, just before her expression brightened up again.

"Can I have new ones with Chappy on?"

* * *

_"I refuse to remake every single article of your clothing with extra rabbits on."_

_"But... you promised..."_

Mizuiro was in a slightly better position to eavesdrop than Keigo, the former having his ear up to the crack in the door and the latter just in front of it.

"What're they saying?" he hissed frantically at his friend.

Mizuiro shrugged nonchalantly, before stepping away from the door as footsteps approached.

"Shit! They're gonna catch us -"

The door swung open, hitting Keigo in the face by accident.

"...are you okay?"

"_WHY MUST FATE BE SO CRUEL? WHY?_!"

"Sorry. He isn't normally like this, I think his brain overloaded with the thought of-" Mizuiro suddenly grabbed Keigo around the waist, before sprinting off down the corridor.

Rukia looked utterly bewildered. "What was that about?"

* * *

"Congratulations. You just performed your first konsou successfully!"

"Would you mind not saying it quite so loud?" hissed Uryuu, annoyed at the fact that the midget had insisted that he do this _on the way back to school in the middle of a public road-_

"Ohayou, Ishida-kun!"

Uryuu Ishida did _not _leap about a foot into the air at the sudden sight of Orihime Inoue, who he was most certainly _not_ crushing on. And he did not let out a girly shriek either.

"Inoue-san... how are you doing?" he replied, weakly, whilst attempting to ignore the snickering shinigami behind him. There was something his senses were desperately trying to tell him, but it wasn't making its way into his consciousness just yet for some reason.

"Did a bee sting you, Ishida-kun?"

"Ah... no... you just took me by surprise..." _Please don't notice the sword. Please don't notice the sword. Please don't notice the sword -_

"Ishida-kun, are you secretly in training to be a ninja or something?"

He blinked.

"What?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to!"

Uryuu coughed. "Ahm. Yes. Actually I _would _prefer it if you didn't mention it, so - "

"I always knew that Ishida-kun was a superhero... by daytime a humble student who perfects the art of sewing, by night-time the saviour of -"

"What happened to your leg?" he interrupted, attention drawn by what appeared to be a bruise to the casual eye.

"Oh... I fell over by accident and a car hit me - "

"_WHAT?_!"

"It doesn't hurt at all though, Ishida-kun! See?" She smiled, leaning down to poke it to prove that it was completely healed before wincing.

"It looks more like something tried to take a chunk out of your leg," commented Kuchiki, bending down.

"That isn't healed at all!" Uryuu yelled, before calming down a little. "Seriously, you should see a doctor about that or something -"

"It's only a bruise, Ishida-kun..."

"Only a bruise..." he muttered, twitching. "Arisawa-san wouldn't say 'only a bruise'. Did you even get the person's registration number?"

"Ah... well... that is... I didn't see the car - wait, Ishida-kun, what are you - let go of me, Ishida-kun, I promise I'm fine - "

Uryuu ignored the pleas of the girl slung over his shoulder and the voice currently making annoying sniggering noises in his head, instead choosing to carry Inoue to the Kurosaki Clinic.

There was no way in a cold frozen hell that he was going to the general hospital, not with Ryuuken there who would probably notice his son's presence the instant he stepped through the doors. Perhaps he might _say_ he'd given up his Quincy powers, but it hardly counted if you used an ability even a normal human could achieve to pinpoint a person's location. Or at least according to Ryuuken it didn't, which was all that really mattered.

Isshin would probably say something about his adoptive son finally finding a girlfriend and having lots of grandbabies, before Karin threw something at him and he went off to weep at the precious poster of his wife. (The company that he had tried to get posters of Ichigo from had mysteriously lost all its A1 paper stock in a freak factory fire. Several times over.) Ryuuken, however, would either give him the cold shoulder, or tell him that he was pathetically inadequate, say something disparaging about his personal choices... or, as was more likely, finally get round to disowning him completely for associating with a hollow.

It said something that Uryuu wasn't _entirely_ sure which reaction was worse... but at least Yuzu and Karin would be hospitable, given that he still came round every now and then to fix Yuzu's stuffed toys or make dresses for her dolls. (Karin had received a present of a plush football once, which had quickly lost most of its stuffing due to being thrown at Isshin so much.) And his godfather was, at the very least, well-meaning. And couldn't sense the dead at all.

He didn't entirely know _how_ exactly Isshin had managed to become his godfather, given Ryuuken's disposition. Probably there had been alcohol involved.

_Lots_ of alcohol.

* * *

_"Uryuu! My precious adopted son! You've finally come home! And with _two_ girlfriends, too! This is a joyous day-"_

_"Shut up!"_


	6. Memories I

**A/N: **Completely and utterly pointless matter: I seem to keep capitalising Gillian and Vasto Lorde, but not adjuchas. I really don't know why.

**Edit:** This has been edited due to a rather blinding error thankfully pointed out to me by TrisakAminawn. Thanks for that... I really shouldn't be self-betaing. Maybe one day I'll finally get round to asking someone to help.

* * *

By the time Isshin had finally calmed down and stopped asking Uryuu about whether he was trying to build himself a personal harem (a comment that had caused an interesting noise from Kuchiki, and earned a kick to the face from Karin) they had moved to the more serious business of treating Inoue's injuries.

_"Well, this just seems like a normal bruise to me. Just be careful and get in touch if it doesn't clear up after about a week or so -"_

"That injury had traces of hollow on it," Kuchiki said quietly, outside the room that acted as Isshin's office and diagnosis centre.

"I noticed." _If Ichigo had been here, that hollow would probably not have come. It's like a pack of wolves... if one pack vanishes or is wiped out, others come to encroach on their territory. Although a hollow inflicting an injury like that is unusual. More like an animal marking out its prey..._

"Has someone close to her died recently?"

Uryuu's memory slid back. There had been one period when she had had to be escorted out of school by Arisawa-san, crying. He'd heard later that -

"Her brother. I think there was a car accident or something similar." _I noticed a plus hanging around her every now and then, as well. That was probably him..._

"In that case... that hollow was probably his spirit. And it'll come back. It won't be satisfied with just taking a bite out of her leg next time."

"I know." He stepped away from the wall just as the door opened, revealing Isshin resplendent in his official white doctor's coat.

"Nothing too much to worry about," Isshin said cheerily. "But - since you're all here you may as well have dinner!" His eyes started to fill up with tears. "Uryuu, Uryuu, my precious adoptive son, why didn't you tell me about your new - "

He suddenly leapt for the boy, arms spread wide in an attempt at an embrace. Uryuu sidestepped, dodging the infamous flying-tackle-hug and leaving his godfather to crash through the front door.

"...ow..." Isshin managed a thumbs-up from his position on the pavement. "Reflexes... good as ever..."

"Is this normal behaviour?" Kuchiki whispered in his ear.

"For him, yes. He offered to let me stay here, but..." Uryuu's voice trailed off. _Knowing Isshin, I'd probably get a flying kick to the face as a wakeup call every morning or something. I don't think I could live with that. Not every single day, at least._

"Ah."

"Kurosaki-oji-san, are you alright?" Inoue asked, concerned.

Karin's head poked around the doorframe to the dining room. "It's fine... this happens every single time..."

Kuchiki looked as if she was about to say something, but thought better of it as Isshin tore wailing past his daughter to weep beneath the poster of his beloved wife about how his precious godson had turned into a _delinquent_ and even his _own children_ were _rejecting_ him -

"If you don't come quickly, dinner will get cold!"

The shinigami glanced at Uryuu, apparently at a loss.

He shrugged in response. "They're usually like this. You may as well get used to it - although hopefully we won't be visiting here _too_ often." Uryuu winced. "Not," he amended hastily, "that I have anything against Yuzu's cooking. But I don't think I could stand Isshin all the time."

_He's almost the exact opposite of Ryuuken... I suppose they probably got on like a house on fire. No survivors and an awful lot of mess afterwards._

* * *

Kuchiki made fast friends with Inoue and Yuzu, introducing herself as a recent exchange student and new addition to Uryuu's school. This statement caused Yuzu and Isshin to exchange knowing looks at each other, the latter winking in an extremely unsubtle manner before Uryuu decided to put his foot down and state once and for all that no he was _not_ dating Kuchiki-san and that she was simply staying in his apartment for the time being whilst other accommodation was arranged.

In retrospect, he thought somewhat glumly as he walked home with Kuchiki by his side (Arisawa had already agreed to escort Inoue home after hearing of the events and promising dire retribution if she was damaged in any way), that probably _hadn't_ been the best thing to mention in front of his godfather.

The sound of Isshin actually _giggling_ was somewhat disturbing...

"I never knew the working class acted like that," muttered Kuchiki in a somewhat preoccupied fashion, as Uryuu struggled with the creepy image of Isshin wearing a schoolgirl outfit alongside Michiru and Ryou, exchanging the freshest gossip - _Oh god, where the hell did that come from?_!

"Mhm?" he managed, attempting to show a vague interest and not seem as if he was attempting to remove all such disturbing thoughts. Maybe Urahara-san would be able to do something with his memory modifier or something. _Brain bleach, possibly._

"That girl, Inoue... does she normally... eat... food like that?"

"What?" He blinked, attention dragged briefly back to the Living World. "Oh. Inoue? She's been like that as long as I can remember." _I don't know how she does it, actually._

"And," she continued, delicately, "she... still has taste buds?"

"Apparently so."

Kuchiki was silent for a little while whilst Uryuu fished around for keys to the apartment block hallway. Finally managing to find them buried underneath his travelling sewing kit, he eventually managed to unlock the door.

"Do you normally live all by yourself?" she asked suddenly, a curious expression on her face.

He looked up, startled. "What?"

"It's just... there's a mattress folded up in your living room. I wondered whether – "

"I sometimes have guests over," Uryuu responded abruptly before the conversation could get out of hand. He had just been starting to _appreciate_ the silence.

"You don't really seem like the type to have guests much..."

This was met with an icy glare. "And you've known me for how long, exactly?"

Kuchiki gave him a wounded look.

"Anyway, I have something private to do. So you can _stay here._" Uryuu emphasized the last two words, causing the midget shinigami to glare at him.

"What? It might be something I could help with!"

"...did you fail to understand the meaning of the word 'private'?"

"Fine."

"We got set quite a lot of homework, at any rate, so you should probably get on with that."

"Home work... it's hardly as if I'll ever _need _any of this... I'm not even staying that long..." she muttered, before being met with Uryuu's severe gaze.

"Do it. Or you'll get in trouble and draw attention to yourself. I thought you were trying to blend in?"

"_Fine._" She pulled a face at him as he picked up his bag again.

"I saw that!"

* * *

Rukia grumbled to herself as she looked through the sheets of problems assigned to her. It wasn't even as if she'd _need _to know this much about human history...

* * *

Ichigo stiffened suddenly. The various Gillian around ignored this, continuing to mill around him aimlessly.

Uryuu's connection had suddenly disappeared.

He hadn't been using it recently, keeping himself distant from the other's mind in order to ensure the shinigami didn't notice anything. And Uryuu _had_ been able to temporarily shut down the connection, but...

If something, someone, had hurt him, killed him...

Ichigo would hunt that creature down and make the adjucha seem practically _merciful_ in comparison.

The garganta slid open just far enough to admit one almost-human-size hollow. He slipped through, almost undetected.

* * *

'Almost' means nothing to a hollow. If one almost escapes, then one is almost alive, which is to say, very dead.

* * *

Somewhere far above, a man - well, probably a man; it was a little hard to tell since the figure had the kind of body shape that renders the distinguishment of gender rather difficult - frowned. He had been personally selected for this task, having retained all of the intelligence that had once made him a greatly respected scientist by the community in which he had once lived. Unfortunately, death had rather twisted his personality, and hollowification had not been kind to his memory. It had been too long a time since he had died, and he had no anchors to remind him of self.

There had been a garganta, or at least the traces of spatial ripples that indicated one, appearing for just a brief moment in sector 513-D. It was a location that his master had a minor interest in, due to the large number of Gillian there. There were some hopes that at least some of them might be unique, and therefore capable of evolving further into adjucha or possibly even Vasto Lorde, given time.

A normal hollow would have eaten the Gillian.

A normal shinigami would have purified them.

Either of these should have left traces.

_Certainly quite the conundrum, _he mused. _Hm... I suppose I _was_ requested to search for any possible anomalies..._

He sent off a message.

The response was quite clear: _instruct Aaroniero to investigate as soon as possible._

* * *

There were fresh flowers. White lilies; they seemed almost to glow in the moonlight.

_Ryuuken must have come by quite recently..._

He removed his own offering from his bag, kneeling before the stone marker.

"Hello." He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. "Mother."


	7. Memories II

**A/N: **Personally, I don't think Uryuu's mother ever had all that much to do with souls beyond her relationship with Ryuuken. The odds of her being a Quincy, which I _have_ read about in some stories, just seems abysmally low unless you want to add the survival of the Quincy race in other regions into the equation. Which I really didn't want to. This story is getting excessively complicated enough as it is without me adding a load of OCs in order to account for various stuff.

Sometimes I think it's not me coming up with the ideas and it's just writing itself... which is actually pretty creepy when you think about it. Things want to be put to purpose. It _wants_ to be written.

Anyway, enough of my insane author thoughts...

* * *

It took a little while for him to arrange the flowers he brought properly with the others that were already there. Somehow, he could still smell the scent of cigarette smoke on the air, as if Ryuuken's presence was somehow lingering over him still.

_Either that, or he's still here... which wouldn't surprise me. _Reaching out with his other senses revealed nothing, although Ryuuken's reiatsu had always been difficult to detect at the best of times. Although if he was present, it _did_ raise the question of why he was hiding himself.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Uryuu paused. To talk to a slab of stone in this manner was ridiculous in some ways. He _knew_ with utter certainty that his mother had long since moved on from the Living World since then. Had she still been there, he might have been able to perceive her, but she was not. Opening up his heart to a grave marker was completely and utterly illogical...

_But... maybe... somehow she'll hear anyway._

"You don't need to worry," he continued, quietly, sitting down. "I have been working hard. I'm still at the clothing shop; nothing much changed with regards to that since last time I came, although... somehow... I seem to have ended up with a shinigami following me around." The corners of his lips turned briefly upwards in an almost-smile. "I wonder what you'd make of Kuchiki-san. Although it means I haven't seen Ichigo so much recently..."

* * *

Memories of his mother were few; after time her face had faded somewhat in his mind. Souken had commented once that he took after her once - it was probably one of the only memories he had of Ryuuken actually smiling as well. Nowadays, the concept of such a thing was ludicrous.

Things had been different then, though. And there was still just the faintest recollection of her perfume, her smile, the hair that everyone told him had once been hers, before the tumour took hold in her brain and she went beyond saving by any doctor or shinigami. His memories of the event were vague; Isshin had, in the earliest instance he could remember clearly after her death, taken him aside when Ryuuken had been unable to and attempted to explain what had happened, gently, to a five-year-old child.

Uryuu hadn't understood the meaning of the word 'cancer' back then. His parents were perfect beings, immortal, untouchable by age or sickness in the mind of a child. The concept of cells that lived too vigorously had been beyond him; the idea that there was a disease that his father could not cure was unfathomable.

In the end, she had chosen to take the proud way out, rather than permit her only son to watch her degenerate so far as to forget him.

* * *

He stood up. There was really very little else to do. She would not respond if he waited here long enough, and he had the uncomfortable feeling of being watched.

Besides, Rukia Kuchiki would probably manage to wreak some manner of havoc without him if left for too long...

The air trembled slightly against his skin, a familiar prickling sensation of the very faintest strain of reiatsu -

_Shit!_

He started running, before deciding to abandon all pretence at normality and making full use of Hirenkyaku to get to his apartment. Hopefully the shinigami would have given into her curiosity and followed him, since it wasn't as if she listened to him for anything else -

- but he could just sense her reiatsu there at the edge of his perception anyway -

- and there was another tremor, from another direction.

* * *

Ichigo hesitated.

There was still no connection: Uryuu's heart had either stopped, or was closed to him now.

_It's better than taking the risk, _he conceded, wrapping his reiatsu closely around himself and drawing it inwards so as to disguise his presence before stepping through into the Living World.

* * *

Maybe it was mere selfishness, possibly an overreaction, but hollows did not generally make friends easily. Even polite acquaintances were a rarity, due to the common propensity of eating anything that became too close. Anything that touches a hollow's heart is held sacred; regrettably, the normal action for most hollows in this regard is to ensure that whatever does so _never leaves,_ usually by eating it.

One might possibly argue that this was not sane or rational behaviour, but then again, most people would consider anyone capable of perceiving the dead and the monsters that come in the night - above the age of about seven, of course - to have questionable sanity in the first place.

Unfortunately, Ichigo, a perfectly sane and rational person (by human standards, anyway), decided that the most obvious place to start looking for Uryuu Ishida would, of course, be at his apartment.

* * *

Rukia scowled, glaring at the notebook. It lacked the essay required on the details of the Second World War, but did feature a rather interesting cartoon involving rabbits.

_Why did that idiot human have to decide to start being all mysterious?_

The small Soul Phone started beeping, frantically. It was so _fortunate_ that Urahara had managed to get her a replacement after the other one had been crushed underneath the tyres of that vehicle, although it had used up the last of her credit. The thing was invaluable, although unfortunately, since her reiatsu was still pretty much depleted, she was still reliant on the Quincy _(that jerk, failing to understand the full glory of Chappy,_ she thought with a sniff).

There was the little triangular symbol of a garganta about to open shortly halfway across town. She got up; it was a pain that Uryuu decided to go out at this _of all times_ -

_Odd,_ she frowned, _it almost looks like the symbol representing location changed to a triangle, too -_

There was a slight grating noise from behind her.

She froze, just before the door flew open and her attention suddenly snapped to Uryuu, traces of blue reiatsu still about his feet and fear transparent on his face, before she reacted instinctively to the movement at the edge of her vision and turned around -

"_Kuchiki!_"

Then, nothing.

* * *

_"...you're not blaming me for this one." _

_"..."_

_"I wasn't even TOUCHING her!"_

_"...you _looked_ at her."_


	8. Death and the Dragon: Ohgodwhat Remix

**A/N: **This fic is not Uryuu/Rukia. It is a pairing that I will probably never write, except as an extreme crack with 200 different pairings. Just to answer the question asked in the last chapter, since there wasn't an account I could reply to. :U If Ichigo says anything to suggest the contrary, it's just him taking the piss out of Ishida... because that's just how he is.

Also, it took me 5 different tries to get Aaroniero's last name before I eventually gave up and checked Wikipedia for it. I have a little theory about why hollows aren't generally able to use the zanpakuto of shinigami in the same way they can use the abilities of the hollows they eat. But I think that can wait for later... Oh yeah... if you never read chapter 229 or watched episode 138 onwards, there will be spoilers. (Also also, you're really behind. Where have you _been?_)

Finally, I decided to switch all the titles to Japanese anime style in the 200-character blurb, although you probably didn't notice. Not taking the piss. At all.

**Edit: **Titles switched back from Japanese anime style to general chapter-appropriate style.

* * *

Desire warred in the heart of Sora Inoue.

_If I could only see Orihime again... but she'll think me a monster... and she let go of me... when I come for her, I'll make sure she never leaves me again..._

The remaining scraps of humanity screamed out that no older brother would ever do something like this, no matter the circumstance -

_predator-predator-predator_

Fear managed to tip the balance, for the time being at least.

He would retreat... for now.

* * *

It took a little while for everything to start coming into focus again.

Rukia blinked.

The ceiling was very... _white_.

" – can't just leave it like this. We're going to have to do something about it." There was a sigh, before Uryuu continued talking. "Why did you even have to come back?"

"_You_ blocked me out," came the defensive answer. "What was I meant to do? It wasn't as if I knew you were safe!"

She frowned. _Where have I heard that voice before?_

"Look, I appreciate your concern, but have you ever heard of the words 'invasion of privacy'?"

"...you were stuck here with a shinigami. Any number of things might have happened to you when you shut it down, for all I knew. Anyone who tries to take you away from me – "

Silence.

_What just happened, anyway? Last thing I remember was Uryuu rushing through the door, and then the -_

She sat up.

"Nothing happened."

"I wasn't to know that..."

_The hollow!_

Rukia leapt off the bed, yanking the door open and sprinting for the living area, where she was greeted by the sight of –

– Uryuu Ishida, sitting across from said hollow, who was currently doing an excellent job of removing all the chocolate coating from a stick of Pocky.

"What-?"

One could hardly blame Rukia Kuchiki from screaming "HOLLOW!" very loudly.

"Kuchiki-san – "

Ichigo winced, covering up his ears. "Would you mind not being quite so loud?"

"Why – there's a hollow – in your – what are you – " she stuttered, trying to phrase a coherent sentence.

"Kuchiki-san – "

" – but there's a_ hollow _here and you're not even doing anything, what's going on – "

"_Kuchiki-san – _"

The hollow's hand snaked out, reaching into the packet of Pocky to remove another stick.

" – what is this, I don't even – "

"_Shut up._"

Rukia shut up at Uryuu's intense glare.

"Can we discuss this like civilised people now?"

"_Civilised?_" Rukia repeated incredulously. "But – that – the _hollow_ – "

"My _name_ is Ichigo Kurosaki."

Her gaze slid over to the hollow. Gold eyes were narrowed at her, just visible behind the eyeholes of the horned half-mask. He - it - had long, bright-orange hair, and what was a relatively well-defined human torso. All in all, he looked... well... vaguely human, with the exception of the hole through his chest and the reptilian legs and tail.

The dramatic effect was ruined somewhat by the presence of the candy in his mouth.

Rukia was starting to wonder when exactly she had fallen down the metaphorical rabbit hole, into a world where hollows were apparently fond of chocolate-coated biscuit sticks and Quincy happily entertained them in their apartments with shinigami.

"Trust me. It wasn't exactly something I was _anticipating..._" Uryuu muttered.

The hollow stood up suddenly, an action that caused Rukia to flinch.

"Well," it said cheerily, "shall I make tea whilst we have this discussion?"

Uryuu glared at the hollow as it left the room, something it seemed quite oblivious to.

Rukia finally found her voice again.

"Why exactly is there a hollow in your flat?"

He sighed, running fingers through his hair. "Because the overprotective idiot got worried when he couldn't sense my presence any more."

"Over... protective..." she said, blankly.

The words did not fit in her mind. There was no such thing as a protective hollow. They were simply messes of instinct, attacking souls powerful enough to spark their interest and devouring all that came into their path with a hunger unrivalled by anything else. They did not consort with humans, except as a wolf consorts with a rabbit. They most certainly did not strike up long, extended conversations with prey, they did not eat Pocky, and they did not offer to make tea when confronted with a shinigami. Ever. Not even the mythical Vasto Lorde –

_...shit._

Her mind slid back to the lesson on the Menos Grande.

_"They are of three ranks; the weakest are the Gillians, which are all of one form and appear as great giants that tower over all other hollow and are powerful, but mindless. Then come the adjucha, which are more compact than regular hollow and may possess abilities as varied as those shinigami, whilst retaining ferocious intelligence. Finally, there are the Vasto Lorde, which are close to human size and possess powers far beyond that of almost all shinigami, as well as reasoning mainly untainted by instinct. Ten of these would be sufficient to destroy Seireitei, should they have interest in doing so; however, they keep their distance from us, and we from they."_

_There is a Vasto Lorde in this apartment._

_There is a VASTO LORDE in this apartment._

Rukia had a minor mental breakdown at the thought of dealing with a hollow that could probably take out a taichou with ease.

_I can't even detect him..._

"How can you live with... that?"

"His name is Ichigo Kurosaki." Uryuu's expression was stony.

"How long have you even been _together _for?"

"Just under four years at last count, I believe. I suppose now you're going to try to convince me to kill him. Or say that it would be kinder because all hollows are purified by a shinigami's zanpakuto and that he wouldn't have to suffer any more."

Rukia briefly considered saying something, but decided that discretion was the better part of valour and that there was no way in hell that she was even going to think of taking down a Vasto Lorde.

_Besides... I seriously doubt any normal hollow would have gone for 4 years without even going for a minor nibble._

"I take it you're not going to wreck my apartment again then."

"What?" she asked, startled. _Since when did I wreck his apartment – _

"The first time. Although given we... used a memory modifier... you may have forgotten."

"I never – " she began protesting, then stopped as a memory of ice and that computer thing Uryuu had flickered into her mind for a second.

_Oops._

"I still haven't managed to get it fixed yet," he continued, in an almost conversational tone.

"...Uryuu?"

"Yes?"

"...why did you offer to help me with my shinigami duties?"

He twitched. "I didn't offer. If I remember correctly, you barged into my life again and demanded I assist you with everything, before deciding to take up residence in my closet."

There was a scratching noise. Rukia looked up to see the hollow - _Ichigo_ - with a notepad and pencil, scribbling something down.

"What? It's got awesome story potential! If I just phrase it as 'forbidden romance' or something – "

Uryuu turned an interesting shade of purple before lunging for the book.

"Give me that!"

* * *

Rukia stared up at the sky. It wasn't a dramatically moonlit night, nor was the sky scattered with stars. Well, there were clouds she could see, and something odd that looked like a red-and-blue flashing wishing star moving across the sky, just below the clouds.

Ichigo... the hollow... seemed surprisingly sane, if cool towards her. Although given that she'd tried to attack him... that wasn't really unexpected.

_"Why did you let me go?"_

_"Well... to be honest, I don't want trouble. Besides, I wasn't just going to kill you while you were out of it."_

She considered moving to the Urahara Shoten again, but considering how the man had taken the last of her credit for one night's worth of lodging, a calibrated gigai, the reparation of her hollow detector and an asauchi...

_No wonder Uryuu was always so cold..._

_Actually... staying up here isn't so bad..._

* * *

_"Well, _I'm_ not carrying her inside again."_

_"What!"_

_"You bring your girlfriend home, you can deal with her – "_

_"We're not dating!"_

* * *

Uryuu watched Kuchiki wake up slowly. He was still somewhat wary of her reaction, but after sneaking a look at her stuff, it seemed she genuinely didn't have any way of contacting Seireitei again, short of asking Urahara for some device or something like that.

_At least my stuff didn't get destroyed..._

Ichigo had left shortly after the Quincy had been forced to carry Kuchiki in from the rooftop of the apartment block. She had apparently managed to fall asleep out there, leaving him with the unfortunate task of lugging her, bridal-style, back to his room. Ichigo had refused to assist, saying that if she felt his reiatsu close to her, she might wake up and freak out. The effectivity of this argument was somewhat reduced by the fact he kept snickering at Uryuu on the way down.

Uryuu wondered whether the shinigami did this sort of thing deliberately, just to embarrass him. It certainly seemed like it sometimes...

* * *

Amongst the milling Gillian, Ichigo sensed one moving purposefully towards him.

_Another messenger, probably. It isn't Ashido-san._

It took a little while before the hollow was close enough for him to perceive clearly, a matter which was not assisted by the permanent darkness in the Menos Forest, but the figure, when he saw it, was considerably smaller than he had expected.

_It feels like a Gillian... although that appearance..._

A dark-haired, white-clad man approached him, an easy sort of smile on his face and a zanpakuto at his hip. In appearance he was indistinguishable from a teenage human; there was no evidence of any kind of mask whatsoever marring his features as evidence of hollowification. His reiatsu said otherwise, though; some strange amalgamation of hollow and shinigami, with the former being more dominant than the latter.

_Arrancar?_

One gloved hand slid up behind his neck in an embarrassed sort of gesture.

"I guess you're the one I've been looking for, then..."

Ichigo shrugged. "I honestly wouldn't know."

The other hand was proffered for a handshake; a human gesture of trust.

"Aaroniero Arruruerie."


	9. Water Flower

**A/N:** [insert witty and amusing Author's Note here]

* * *

"I suppose you want the same as the other ones."

The disguised Gillian raised an eyebrow. "'Other ones'?"

"Ah... so they didn't tell you..." _Well... I suppose I have a reputation. It's not as if they're going to tell someone like this they're going on a suicide mission._

Aaroniero shrugged, apparently dismissing the matter out of hand. "It took a while to find you, to be honest. You keep vanishing all the time, it's so tiresome. Although I can't blame you... given how _dull_ it is here."

"You _are_ one of Aizen's, then."

"Huh. You already knew?"

"As I have said." His tail flicked to the side, the only visible sign of his irritation. "If your master desires my assistance so badly, he may come himself."

"You're not coming, then. A pity, I guess I should say..."

Aaroniero's grin widened, almost splitting his entire face.

"Except I really can't. Not in all honesty, at any rate."

_I'm surprised they didn't decide to send someone more powerful after the incident with the adjuchas. Or was that an accident?_

"_Rankle the seas and heavens, Nejibana!_"

The zanpakuto twisted, taking the form of a trident.

_Ah... I'm surprised. I thought an arrancar's zanpakuto would have the form of a hollow... but this seems more like a shinigami's zanpakuto._

He sidestepped as Aaroniero made a thrust for his torso.

_What kind of hollow fights like this, anyway?_

"Dodging won't help you here!" called the Gillian, grinning at him as the trident followed up. "Tsunami!"

- and water exploded into his body forcefully, taking him by surprise and slamming him into a rock wall.

Aaroniero yanked off the glove covering his left hand, revealing a mess of squirming tentacles occupying it.

_...Okay. I am personally glad of my hollow form. It's at times like this that you appreciate that you could have it so much _worse.

"Do you like my Glotoneria, then?" the Gillian sneered. "This is my true zanpakuto, one holding the powers of over 33 thousand hollows!"

_And he seriously thinks he can overpower me with that? _Ichigo asked himself disbelievingly. _Unless he has some special ability that renders my speed and power completely irrelevant to the fight... wait_, _he just said_ -

"_San no tsuba!_"

The mass of tentacles contracted, before spraying some kind of sticky fluid. Ichigo leapt, managing to evade the worst of it as it spattered against the crater, hissing and eating away at the rock. The substance was obviously highly corrosive. _Even if I do have high-speed regeneration, that'll be a pain._ _I guess he decided to retain all the powers of the hollows he consumed, rather than just breaking them down completely for a power boost._

Another glob of acid came flying towards him. This time, it was lazily obliterated with a cero, causing droplets to fly back at Aaroniero. The arrancar cursed, before using sonido to evade the remnants of the attack and reappear behind Ichigo. Nejibana was brought up in a spin for a beheading slash with the point, only for his target to vanish with a harsh buzz.

"This is the ability of an arrancar?" Ichigo commented, coming to a halt once more. "I'm disappointed. It doesn't seem like you're worth much. I've met a shinigami with a more powerful sword than that, actually." Pause for effect. "And she was a midget whose ice couldn't even give me mild frostbite."

Aaroniero's eyes narrowed. "Really? Then I'll have to strip you of that notion. _San no ito._" The mass of tentacles spat out long strings of the same goo that had dissolved away parts of the cavern. This time, there was a splatting sound as the ends of the goo stuck to the rock without eating away at it.

"Surprised? I noticed the way you fight. You simply dodge everything I throw at you. However... if I make it so you can't move... no matter how fast you are, that speed is useless!" The right hand lifted Nejibana, before directing a second, much more powerful blast of water.

Ichigo leapt fully clear of the torrent, gracefully slipping through the acid strands -

Another, much larger glob of fluid left Glotoneria, covering the entire area with the corrosive thread and trapping him in an _extremely_ awkward position against the ceiling. He moved slightly, considering cutting through, before a few strands of hair brushed against part of the web, sticking to it.

There was a hissing noise as it was eaten away by the corrosive substance.

"Behold! _This_ is the true power of the Espada!" called Aaroniero from below, who seemed to be readying his trident for another attack. Given the way there was a dense swirl of ever-intensifying reiatsu around the tip of the zanpakuto, this did _not_ bode well. "I suppose you should be glad... at least you'll fuel my further ascension... but for you, this ends now." The mess of tentacles shifted to grasp the shaft of Nejibana as the arrancar's stance shifted. "Kuufuku Uzu."

The whirling mass of water twisted out from the end of the trident, reaching out before enveloping its prey completely. The strands of the web were shredded as the vortex spun rapidly, making a sound that sounded almost like a scream. Water bit at the rock, sending fragments of stone everywhere before the force of the attack dissipated.

Aaroniero lowered Nejibana, staring up at the crater left behind in the rock. With a gesture, the acid threads withered away to nothing.

"Hmm... evidently I used too much force. Stupid zanpakuto... I only meant to _weaken_ him, not purify his soul or something." He pulled a face, disgusted by the thought of performing a shinigami's job.

Aaroniero froze suddenly.

This might have had something to do with the sharp bone-blade currently at his throat (or, just possibly, the arm it was attached to, which happened to belong to Ichigo Kurosaki).

"Did you really think a pathetic rip-off of a shinigami's power could actually kill me?"

Under the pressure, Aaroniero's head resumed its normal form.

"_Crap! Aizen-sama promised -_"

"Aizen-_sama_ isn't here right now."

"_No! Don't kill us! Don't kill us!_" shrieked one of the heads, bobbing around frantically in the tank. "_I can - _"

"**We're not dying just yet, idiot,**" spoke the higher head, swivelling around to face its captor, eyes narrowing.

"**_Devour, Gloto –_** "

The command was cut off sharply by a squeal of pain.

"**_Our arm! Our goddamn arm!_**"

In a fury, the arrancar hurled Nejibana, only for the weapon to slide to a halt between Ichigo's fingers.

"**...shit.**"

There was a crunch as his hand pierced the glass of the tank. Then a second and third, more organic, visceral sounds this time.

He went to work satiating his hunger.

* * *

Uryuu cursed. _Why can't hollows wait until a more convenient time to show up?_!

"Uryuu! In the time it takes you to get out of the shower and get dressed, someone might have died by now!"

"Shut up! I'm not going out there without any clothing on! Just because _you_ shinigami can do whatever the hell you want and not worry about people seeing you – "

"I told you it would be back! Besides, we already knew about the bite mark on her leg! Is that Inoue girl your friend or not?"

"That's not the point! I'm still not turning up naked – " _Where the hell are my trousers?_!

The bathroom door flung open as the shinigami shoved the zanpakuto in his face.

"_What the hell are you doing in here?_! I might have been _naked!_" he yelled at her, red-faced.

"I'm sure you don't have anything I haven't seen before," she said calmly.

"...sometimes I wonder about your childhood," Uryuu muttered, pulling on a spare pair of trousers instead. _It'll have to do... even if they aren't my official Quincy trousers. I don't think the hollow has actually made a move just yet, but it isn't good to waste time._

_Is there some kind of law that prevents hollows from turning up when it's actually convenient?_ he wondered briefly, sliding shoes on.

_Obviously, _replied the cheerful part of his mind that sounded an awful lot like Kurosaki.

"What's taking you so long? Come on!"

Uryuu sighed as he snatched up his keys before sprinting out the door, Kuchiki following suit.

_I wonder what it must be like to have a normal life..._

* * *

**Quincy Encyclopaedia error error**

Kuufuku Uzu (空腹 渦): Hungry Whirlpool. Uses Nejibana's abilities of water manipulation in order to generate a fast-moving, powerful vortex of water which is then aimed at the opponent. The effect is similar to putting something through a meat-grinder, and is an extremely powerful attack, capable of cutting through flesh and bone. The effects can be mitigated by kido that counter the rotation (such as Tenran), 'armour' abilities such as hierro, or a sufficiently powerful defensive bakudo.

Tsunami (津波): Does exactly what it says on the tin, that is to say, generating a massive volume of water before sending it directly at an enemy. The technique is named after the force of nature which it mimics, and is probably one of Nejibana's strongest attacks, capable of sweeping away more or less anything in its path that isn't attached to the ground (and even then only maybe). The sheer force of the water can tear buildings away from their foundations and crush anything in the attack's path, as well as battering anyone caught up in it with debris if they aren't already drowning. Bakudo are generally insufficient for protection against this attack, as it covers an extremely wide area and will simply sweep around most protections, if not breaking them. However, the tsunami is extremely difficult to direct properly and is not an attack that should be used if one is fighting with others.

All abilities of Nejibana are considerably weakened if the wielder does not have the zanpakuto's full consent to use them. They are likewise weakened by an absence of water in the atmosphere.

San no Tsuba (酸 の つば): Acid Spit. Glotoneria's maw is capable of producing a highly acidic substance, possibly a stomach fluid of some manner, which is then ejected at the target. This substance is capable of dissolving through most things, and will eat away at flesh and metal. The effects will be somewhat mitigated by hierro-like abilities. Although Glotoneria produces such a substance, the rest of Aaroniero's body is not, in fact, immune to the acid, and will be affected like any other Gillian arrancar of his calibre.

San no Ito (酸 の 糸): Acid Thread. In this case, the acidic substance is made to a much thicker consistency, causing it to be more cohesive and stretchy. It is also combined with a secondary substance that is extremly adhesive, and will stick to a surface easily. As a result, the acid is stretched out into long strands, which can then be stuck in place with more of the adhesive to free Glotoneria for further use. This ability has roughly the same limitations as the San no Tsuba ability.


	10. Don't Eat It

**This time on TWIBW:** Our favourite (and only) acting Quincy shows up to save the day using the super secret epic _QUINCY SEWING POWERS OF DOOM_™!

...No, really.

* * *

**A/N: **I do not own Bleach. Apropos of nothing, I also spent a good 2 days reading through the whole of _Homestuck_ and being completely and utterly confused by the insane plotline. Everyone seems to have died at least once, if not twice, and still be alive, and I'm confused as hell whilst trying to figure how the hell this entire thing is meant to work and why the author has a fascination with amphibians.

(But at least I have been duly warned about stairs.)

Extra bonus points for spotting all the references, by the way!

* * *

"Well, at least you started to get the right idea. But you wasted a perfect opportunity!"

"Tatsuki-chan?"

"Look, when a guy sweeps you off your feet like _that_ – " she made an expansive gesture - "you've got to use it. Do whatever it takes! I mean, you like Ishida, right?"

"Well... Ishida-kun is..." Orihime considered this for a second.

* * *

~_*Hey kids! Look at Orihime's thought process!*_~

_Ishida adjusting glasses = swept onto the noble dragon = evil villain with mad cackling laughter = kidnapped princess in tower = rainbow ninja rescue adventure_

* * *

"Yes... I must grab hold of your sewing needles to escape! No! Go left, human Ishida-kun, left! The turtles are chasing us!"

Tatsuki briefly wondered what exactly was going through her friend's head, then decided it was probably best not to ask.

There was a dull thud, breaking Orihime out of her reverie.

"...Enraku?"

Tatsuki reached over to pick up the fallen plush toy. "Huh. Looks like something made a rip in it. Though," she said with a leer, "I guess you can just ask Ishida-kun to patch it up, right?"

"It's strange, though... How did he get ripped like this? There wasn't anything sharp... and it looks like – "

Suddenly, Orihime was thrown back, an expression of shock on her face as her body slammed against the wall.

"What the hell? Orihime? Orihime!"

There was still a pulse, faint, but present nonetheless as Tatsuki turned around again, gaze flickering across the room for some evidence of the assailant.

And there, in the centre of the room, something like a heat haze that towered almost to the ceiling.

Her mind flickered back to that night, the boy who once told her that he could see ghosts and _what had happened to him_ –

Someone banged on the door.

Tatsuki could only freeze in terror as her memories of every horror movie provided infinite nightmare fuel as to what was behind that door –

- just before something slammed into her. Fortunately, there was less distance for her to fly; unfortunately, this was because she was already next to the wall in the first place.

Something went crunch. She was fairly certain it wasn't the wall.

"Ugh..."

* * *

"Can't you hurry up?"

"Well, _I'm_ sorry, I can't phase through walls, the window wasn't open, she wouldn't answer the door, I'm not bashing it down like a common burglar and I can only pick locks _so_ fast no matter how good I am – "

The lock clicked, admitting entrance and there was no more time for talking.

* * *

Tatsuki was fairly sure that she was hallucinating as silver blurs sped through the air, pinning the... whatever it was... against the opposite wall.

"Senhikou Bari – Housei Akuma." Light reflected off the lenses of Uryuu's glasses as he stepped into view, one hand currently occupied by several spools of thread. He was wearing some strange kind of outfit; the top and cape were white with light blue trim, and then there was a weird symbol picked out in the same blue on his back as well as what appeared to be another set of those standard grey school trousers.

_...what the hell? Since when did Ishida get here? And why is he wearing such a stupid outfit?_

"Ishida... that thing..." She coughed, painfully.

He turned towards her, surprised. "Arisawa-san? What... actually, it doesn't matter - "

"Fool!" A hand delivered a sharp blow to the back of Ishida's neck, to be shortly followed into the room by Rukia Kuchiki. "What are you waiting for?"

Ishida twitched. "Inoue-san... you should probably do something for her. The chain of fate is still intact, so she should still be able to go back in if you heal the body enough - _oof_."

"I was talking about the hollow!"

_...hollow? Are they talking about that invisible monster?_

"It's trapped. I'm dealing with it and I'd really appreciate it if you _stopped hitting me._"

"Why do you have so much thread on you, anyway?"

"...I always keep it. Just in case I ever need to trap something instead of killing it straight away."

"You should get moving. I'm surprised that thing is even holding. How come it hasn't snapped the silk by now?"

Tatsuki saw the haze shift slightly, apparently pinned there by the needles embedded in the wall. It was a little creepy seeing the long threads wrapped around what was apparently thin air.

"It isn't _silk._ Honestly. It's pre-prepared mercerised thread, triple-wound and treated with - "

"...look, just purify it already, will you?"

There was a slight pause as Rukia knelt over Orihime's body.

"You don't need to worry." Ishida's tone of voice softened slightly. "The zanpakuto purifies the souls. They are sent to Seireitei, not destroyed. Your brother will go there."

And then Ishida produced a tanto before sweeping it dramatically through the air, an action that caused the threads to go slack and the heat haze to vanish.

Removing the needles from the wall, he wound the threads back on the various spools as he turned to Tatsuki.

"It's good that you're still conscious, Arisawa-san. Does it hurt much to breathe?"

"Just a little." Her gaze flickered over to where Rukia was crouching.

"Inoue-san will probably be fine. She didn't suffer too much damage... although in your case there might be more problems. You might have broken ribs, but that isn't really something we can deal with here, so it's probably best if we call an ambulance - "

"I have enough energy left to use a healing kido," Kuchiki pointed out, turning around as she clicked something in front of Orihime's face.

Ishida looked sceptical. "Enough to fix broken bones?"

There was a scoff as Rukia got up to come over. "Please. I came at the top of my class for kido scores!"

"Well, ex_cuse_ me for not being so confident in your abilities, Miss Oh-I'm-So-Perfect-I-Don't-Need-Help." This time, he managed to dodge the elbow to his stomach as Rukia lowered her hands to Tatsuki's stomach.

"What're you... doing?"

"You can relax. I suppose you could say this is a special healing magic. My speciality is actually in this field, so you don't need to worry." The seriousness of the statement was somewhat lost by Kuchiki poking her tongue out at Ishida.

Whatever the kido was, it left a strangely numb sensation in Tatsuki's chest.

"What was that thing?"

"A hollow. They're... a kind of monster that hunt down humans sometimes. Usually they don't target the living, but..."

"...you said that was Orihime's brother..."

Ishida glanced at her. "Yes. Sometimes, when souls don't move on peacefully, they become the hollows until someone can send them on."

"Oh."

She relaxed. The feeling of this kido wasn't too bad, actually. Kind of like having an ice-pack on your body, except a little warmer.

"Done." Rukia stood up.

"Finally. I thought you were going to take all night." He dodged again. "Do you have it?"

"Of course!" She produced a ridiculous-looking chicken head, sticking it in front of Tatsuki's nose.

"What _is_ tha – "

_Poof._

* * *

_"No, seriously! Seven samurai stormed into my apartment and charged down the wall when they were fighting a giant mecha!"_

_"...your imagination again..."_

_"Tatsuki-chan was there too! You remember, right, Tats-chan?"_

_"Wait, you didn't see the invading army of rubber ducks swarming out of the toilet-?"_

_"Uwah?_!_"_

* * *

"..."

"See? Not a trace of the original events!" Kuchiki crossed her arms, smirking at Uryuu.

"...couldn't you have... got something that makes more..._ realistic_ memories?" he asked weakly.

She pouted. "It was the best I could do. Stupid shopkeeper couldn't even give me a discount..."

"Would this, by any chance, be the shopkeeper who wears a ridiculous green-and-white striped bucket hat?" A suspicious tone began to enter his voice.

Kuchiki looked up at him, startled. "Yes, why?"

"...nothing. Will you mind if I borrow that later? I want to have a word with him."

_Preferably a painful word._..

* * *

**Quincy Encyclopaedia!**

Senhikou Bari - Housei Akuma (千飛行 針 縫製 悪魔): Thousand Flying Needles - Sewing Demon. _Only Uryuu would possibly come up with an attack with a stupid name like this. _It's not stupid. You simply fail to accept my genius. Also, this is my personal Encyclopaedia. Go away.

This attack uses a thousand needles, all pre-threaded with specially prepared triple-wound mercerised thread imbued with reiatsu. As a result of the pre-treatment to the thread, it is much stronger than ordinary triple-wound mercerised thread would be, able to withstand high stress, and also capable of channeling further quantities of reiatsu. This property can be used to rapidly guide the needles around the target, essentially trapping them in place. Furthermore, by drawing on the thread, reiatsu can be siphoned off from the target, weakening it considerably and strengthening the trap further.

_It still sounds stupid._ Well, do enlighten me further. _What do demons have to do with this technique anyway? It's just you chucking a bunch of needles around on some thread, that isn't even a techni_

_(Here lie a series of holes through the page before the next entry. There appear to be traces of Quincy reiatsu and evidence of burning around the edges. Someone certainly appears to have shot this book several times.)_


	11. Water Flower: Requiem

**This time on TWIBW:** A fortuitous meeting between two bishies who may or may not be related to each other. I have 83 reviews which makes a cute smiley face and is therefore way cooler than having 100 reviews. And there's a Halloween omake that's actually on Halloween!

* * *

**A/N: **This entire scene with hollow!Ichigo and inner!shinigami (_oh the irony_) was actually meant to be the previous chapter instead, but I got stuck writing it so Orihime and Tatsuki got introduced instead to help set the general Karakura scene.

I _almost_ wrote a Halloween filler for the whole of this chapter instead, but I figured you would probably kill me for that.

We know nothing about Nejibana's personality, so I had to make it up. At first I thought of this hellion... but then I thought about Zangetsu and Tensa Zangetsu and Senbonzakura and a bunch of other stuff and decided that Kaien's personality would probably be what balances out his zanpakuto or something like that. And then I screwed up that entire plan and tossed it in the bin. The only thing I could really decide on was Nejibana's gender being female. Somehow, she strikes me as the kind of zanpakuto that would be the calm and placid type that's all noble and stuff like that, up until you annoy her and she gets majorly pissy and wrecks EVERYTHING. (Kind of like the ocean itself.) See, I can be all deep and meaningful too!

...what?

* * *

Kaien Shiba was getting desperate.

Being trapped in a cocoon and having one's power siphoned off by a hollow was not a particularly pleasant experience. He had been subjected to this ignominy, along with several thousand hollows, for several decades already. Other than the pain of having his reiatsu forcefully sucked out, it had also been terribly _dull._ More than once, he'd simply wished that the damn thing would just get on with it and digest him completely, rather than just leaving him hanging. Literally.

Having nothing better to do, he had resigned himself to watching the natural way of things.

After Metastacia had been eaten by a Gillian, he had almost hoped that that would be the end for him and a line would be drawn under the whole business.

Apparently he had no such luck, since the weird two-headed hollow that ate Metastacia had decided that it quite liked the idea of a shinigami's powers, and actually tried using them for itself, hence the being trapped and having his energy drained away. Again.

Then a shinigami had come along. It was Sosuke Aizen, one of the captains that had been promoted when Urahara had fled Seireitei. It also raised a lot of questions, and made his dull existence even more frustrating, since he couldn't even _do_ anything about the matter, just watch in an oblique fashion. Aaroniero seemed to be deaf to his struggles, and he couldn't think of any way of getting out short of breaking the cocoon, calling the hollow down somehow and killing it.

And then Aaroniero had been sent to find a powerful Menos, one capable of disguising its reiatsu, only to be dispatched by that same hollow in short order.

On the bright side, this meant he was free to move for the first time in _years_ as those disgusting cocoon things finally broke up.

On the cloudy side, everything else in those disgusting cocoon things was free to move as well. Since those things were mainly hollows, they were ravenous, not to mention extremely pissed.

And then on the solar eclipse side, there was something that could be best described as an invisible wall of impending doom advancing towards him, from all sides. He'd already seen a whole bunch of hollows dissolve into thin air on contact with _something_, and it did not look pleasant.

This meant that he was being packed into a rather small space with a large number of hollows, trying not to die. Whilst most of them would not particularly be a problem on their own, facing such a large number all at once was _not_ a job that he relished. Combined with the fact that his reiatsu was still rather depleted from a long stint of being power-drained, the future was looking so dark a firefly would probably blind him right then.

_There's a bright side, though. They're probably all so concerned with killing each other, maybe they won't even bother with me!_

One hollow spat out a spray of acid goo at him. Half of it spattered into several Gillian looming over him, causing them to scream and react instinctively by charging cero.

_...okay, so much for that plan, _he thought as he dodged the rest of it. _I need to do something about this. Urgently._ _Although knowing my luck, it won't make any difference and I'll get digested anyway. So much for lucky number 13... I knew accepting that position was a bad idea._

He gave Nejibana a half-twist, reiatsu condensing around the head of the trident, before sweeping it around him in a full circle. There was no point bothering with subtlety here, not when he was surrounded like this. It wasn't as if there were any allies around, anyway.

"Tsunami!"

Water exploded outwards from the circle he'd sketched out in thin air, its roar easily matching those of the Gillians it swept away. The tall buildings reaching up to the sky crumbled against the force of his element.

He stood, untouched as he directed nature against the hollows. For a brief moment, Kaien forgot the past and lost himself in the sheer exhilaration in commanding Nejibana's powers once more, an unstoppable force that was his again and his alone.

The water drained away slowly, the majority of its force gone along with his reiatsu as he leaned on the trident. The attack had taken considerably more out of him than it should have, but he supposed that was all to be expected, really.

Silence.

Kaien sat down, hard, before lying down on the only dry patch of ground left. Nejibana reverted to her sealed form.

_...well... I guess this is it. Kinda lame to die like this, though._

He waited for the wall of impending doom to disintegrate his body.

* * *

And waited.

And waited.

* * *

_Master?_

_...I know. _He sighed._ Why do you suppose it stopped? I mean, I'm obviously stuck inside a hollow's stomach or something, so it's not even as if – _

_Master – _

_– there's any way for me to get out of here or something – _

_The owner of this world is approaching._

_That_ got his attention.

"_What?_!"

"Huh."

Kaien leapt up, grabbing his zanpakuto once more -

- to see something extremely odd.

If he looked _one_ way, he could see what was probably a hollow, with a horned mask and reptilian legs with fur-tufted ankles and a spiked tail, but then if he tilted his head just _so_ and squinted a little bit then he could make out the form of a brown-eyed, ginger-haired kid who looked an awful lot like himself -

"Is there something in your eye?"

He blinked, returning to his normal posture, before looking somewhat embarrassed and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

(_God,_ that felt good. He hadn't been able to do that in such a long time. It'd been so _infuriating_.)

All Kaien could see of the person in front of him was the human now. It was slightly disturbing, looking at what seemed quite a lot like a discoloured mirror image of oneself.

He stepped up close, eyes narrowed.

The unknown kid raised an eyebrow as their noses almost touched.

"...exactly the same height... okay, that's creepy," Kaien muttered, before backing off again quickly. "Sorry. I just wanted to check something."

Unknown ginger kid looked bemused, before his face resumed its previous contemplative expression.

"You're the shinigami whose face he kept using?"

"Yeah. Kaien Shiba. And _you_... would be the one who ate him."

Unknown ginger kid held the gaze for a worryingly long time, before his face suddenly split into a beam that could have lit up the entire Inner World.

He presented a hand.

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

"I guess I should say thanks. It was getting pretty boring in there, to be honest."

"There?"

"He kept me intact. For _ages._ Except I was stuck in place." He gave a guilty glance at the ruined wrecks of the buildings that had once towered up towards the moon. "Sorry about that, by the way."

"...sorry about what?_"_

Kaien coughed. "Never mind." He looked away, trying desperately to focus on something other than the fact that he had, essentially, wrecked the inside of someone's soul.

_They do tend to reconstruct themselves with time. I would not worry yourself unduly, Master._

_Worry myself? It was your power that wrecked them!_

_Did you say something, Master?_

He shuddered. Sometimes his zanpakuto could be scarier than the hollows he fought.

_Small talk. Make small talk! Anything to get over the awkward silence._

"So... I guess you look kinda like me, huh?"

Ichigo blinked. "What?"

_...Master, he is still a hollow. The odds of him knowing what his face looks like underneath the mask are vanishingly small. He may only take this appearance here, by all likelihood._

"Uh. It's nothing." He frowned for a second. "Wait... did you say your name was _Kurosuke?_"

"No, Kurosaki. Why?" There was a curious expression on Ichigo's face.

"It's just..." Kaien wondered as to whether there was any point in telling the other this.

_What the hell. _"There used to be a fifth noble family in Seireitei. Except it was called Kurosuke, not Kurosaki. It would explain why you look like me, at any rate. They were kinda related to the Shibas... at least, before their heir Isshin lost his powers and ran off and the whole family got disgraced - "

"Wait, _Isshin_?" interrupted Ichigo with a tone of disbelief.

"Yeah, why?"

"It's just... so Oyaji was a shinigami then, huh... only he would change his name like that and expect to get away with it."

"Isshin's your father? No wonder we look so similar," Kaien mused. "In that case, that would make you - " he flung his arms around Ichigo " - my precious baby cousin!"

_Oh shit I just hugged a Vasto Lorde class hollow._

"...could you let go of me please?" came the muffled response from somewhere around the region of Kaien's chest.

He released Ichigo hastily at this. "Sorry. I got a bit carried away. Anyway... how _is_ Isshin doing?"

Ichigo's expression was suddenly blank. "I haven't visited him for a while."

_Oops._

"However, Uryuu was forced to burn down the seventeenth stack of posters that Isshin ordered a month ago."

Kaien blinked. "What?"

"Oyaji seems to keep trying to buy 6-foot-tall posters of me so he can pin them up on his wall and cry on the floor in front of them," he responded flatly. "There's no way I'm letting something like that happen. _Ever_."

"Who's Uryuu?"

"...my friend," came the guarded response. "Although I'm having some difficulties seeing him since there's a shinigami named Rukia Kuchiki insisting on sleeping in his closet. I don't think she likes me much."

"You met Kuchiki?"

Ichigo looked at him, startled. "Yeah, why?"

"Oh... she used to be my subordinate... up until..."

He trailed off.

"Never mind. I think there's something approaching outside."

"Shi-" Ichigo Kurosaki suddenly vanished from the mindscape, presumably to deal with whatever hollow had come nearby.

* * *

_That was certainly enlightening, Master._

_What did you make of him?_

_He was... interesting, to say the least. And he has a great deal of potential. Not unlike yourself, I would suppose._

The corners of his mouth twitched involuntarily upwards for the first time in years.

_Yeah._

_Will you still attempt to break free?_

_...I doubt it. I cut my ties with the world a long time ago. He still has someone for him, although... I guess it's odd for a hollow to have friends. Not to mention actually getting on with a shinigami without killing them. I was expecting someone more... I don't know..._

_Hollow-like?_ she commented wryly.

_Something like that. _Kaien laid down again to stare at the stars as the clouds drifted across the sky._ He seems a decent kind of kid..._

* * *

Uryuu relaxed slightly at the sensation of Ichigo's reiatsu on the edge of his perception as he made his way back from work.

_Good... I'm glad he's alright._

"Hey, Uryuu... what's with that solemn face of yours..."

"I was merely thinking. It's an activity you might like to try some time, midget."

"...what was with that 'midget' comment?"

_Oops. I actually said that out loud._

"What I meant, Kuchiki-san, is that your height is abnormally small for someone of the age you are pretending to be."

"Fool... I'm over 5 times older than you are!"

"And yet," Uryuu deadpanned, "you still can't hit me over the head with your sketchbook without standing on tiptoes."

This earned him a whack from the Chappy book. "That's just because you're freakishly tall! _I_ am perfectly sized." She folded her arms, satisfied.

There was a slight twinge of a hollow's reiatsu. It was barely perceptible, but still there.

"Something wrong?"

_...her sensor didn't react?_

"It's probably nothing... let's go home."

_And maybe I can get some sleep for once._

* * *

**Halloween Special Omake!**

* * *

_"Hey, nice costume!"_

_Ichigo blinked as Keigo Asano stopped. His hair was combed more neatly than usual, he was wearing a shirt and there was a black notebook tucked under one arm._

_"Mind if I take a picture? It's really cool, the way you got that creepy 3-D looking hole thing - "_

_"Sure?" he hazarded._

_There was a tinny, synthesized shutter noise as the teenager raised up his mobile._

_"Thanks! That's definitely the coolest... costume..."_

_Keigo's voice trailed off as his brain kicked in, helpfully pointing out all the discrepancies and that yes, there was an actual hole in the creature's body and yes, it did in fact have a lazily twitching tail._

_"AAAAAH shit!" He sprinted off down the road, phone hastily shoved back in pocket. "There's an actual monster! Mizuiro, save me - "_

_"...bye?" Ichigo managed, just before the other boy turned the corner and was out of sight._

_Oh well. It wasn't as if he was going to ask questions._

* * *

_"See? It's there! It's right there! I have the evidence! It's proof for the school newsletter!"_

_"...but... there's nothing in this photograph..."_


	12. PCP

**This time on TWIBW:** An introduction, a bird and friendship under unusual circumstances.

* * *

**A/N: **Woo. I finally got round to writing Chad's scene! (Except he isn't really Chad.)

* * *

"A cursed parrot?"

"Yeah... it's made its way round, actually. Apparently all its owners died horrible deaths." Said item was shoved into Shigeo's face. "Want it?"

Shigeo started sweating. "You're kidding, right?"

"Sado-san?"

Yasutora Sado blinked, suddenly brought out of his adorableness-induced daze.

"It's really cute too~" The caged parakeet was proffered.

There was a clatter, causing Shigeo to glance upwards.

"Huh? It sounded like - "

With terrifying speed, a steel beam slid off the roof, hurtling towards the group seated on the pavement -

- only to have its fall broken by his back.

"C-chad? You... with your back..."

"No way... is he even _human?_!"

"It's nothing." Sado shifted slightly, causing the beam to slide off his back.

"That's not nothing! You're bleedi – "

"Thanks for saving me, mister!"

Their attention was pulled back to the small bird in the cage.

"It spoke? Huh... it actually seems to understand stuff..."

"My name's Yuuichi Shibata." Its head cocked to one side. "What's yours?"

"...Yasutora Sado..."

* * *

_"Ah... you're Sado-san, right?"_

_He glanced back at his unlikely saviour._

_The slight, dark-haired, bespectacled boy was still sitting next to him, despite the silence._

_"We're in the same class. Although I suppose it would be... understandable... if you didn't recognise me..." He winced. "I'm not all that memorable, I suppose, so – "_

_"Actually, I was just wondering why you stepped in. You didn't seem the type."_

_"Oh." Uryuu blinked. "Well... mainly because it was disgusting. It was hardly as if I was going to let someone just beat a person to death in front of me." There was a fraction of a second's hesitation, before he continued. "I could do something about it. So I did. Although I did wonder why you didn't stop them..."_

_Yasutora considered this. "I made a promise to my abuelo," he replied, finally. "I wouldn't hurt anyone for my own sake." _Not after everything. I already did that once...

_"Ah." And then, "Your grandfather?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I see... I suppose I could understand something like that." There was an almost-smile on Uryuu's face now, his eyes clouded over with the veil of some memory._

_There was a beep._

_"Hm?" Sado unhooked something from his belt; the mobile phone of one of his attackers was lodged in place still. Apparently someone was trying to contact him - or rather, one of the people that Uryuu had just dealt with._

_"You should probably get rid of that. Giving it back wouldn't be a good idea," commented the other boy lightly._

* * *

_...and thus was born one of the most unlikely-looking friendships in history._

* * *

_It was later. Pain had happened._

Why did I have to decide to go for a walk alone at this time?

_"Well then, Chaddo boy? How're ya feelin'... Is the pain bad enough for you to piss your pants?"_

_Sado contemplated this matter, tied down to the chair. Cars passed by on the bridge overhead, their drivers blissfully unaware of the events taking place 10 feet below them. Although it was unlikely any of them would help on the matter even if they knew._

_"No. Sorry... I don't think it's quite that bad yet."_

_"Tch... then what about this?" A coin - _his_ coin - dangled in front of his nose. "I know about this lil' trinket. It's more important than your life, right? Pretty souvenir from Mexico."_

_A pair of metal wire cutters were presented._

_"Whatcha gonna do if I bust it up a little?"_

_"Good grief... hasn't anyone told you it's bad manners to play with someone else's toys?"_

_Light reflected off Uryuu's spectacles as he adjusted them._

_"You idiots!" The leader rounded on the rest of the gang. "Didn't I tell you we weren't to be interrupt - "_

_"Boss... he just... came out of nowhere - "_

_And then Uryuu was next to Sado, his fingertips pressed against the temples of the leader. Hard._

_"Yoko-chin?_!_"_

_'Yoko-chin' slumped, collapsing to the ground as Uryuu released his grip._

_Sado blinked._

_"Who the hell is this guy?"_

_"He's a monster! He just touched Yoko-chin and he fell over – "_

_"It's just a matter of pressure points. Anyone with enough medical knowledge... would be able to do something like that."_

_The others approached, wary of the newcomer. The desire for vengeance of their fallen leader warred with self-preservation._

_Uryuu took advantage of the respite to free Sado with the dropped wire cutters._

_"...Thanks."_

_"It'll probably be tougher now. They weren't expecting me," commented Uryuu in a conversational tone. "I know you made a promise not to hit someone for your own sake, so let's do it this way. You hit the ones going after me and I'll hit the ones going after you. That way you don't have to break your promise. Deal?"_

_Sado dodged a punch thrown by one of the braver gang members. "That logic doesn't make sense."_

_"Yes, well..." Uryuu flushed slightly as he wrenched the not-quite-so-brave-anymore thug into a headlock. "It works, right, Sado-san?"_

_"Deal." He threw a punch at one of the incoming idiots who hadn't quite come up to speed yet and was aiming a kick for Uryuu whilst he was occupied._

_(He never quite managed to make sense of the smaller teen's reasoning, in the end.)_

* * *

"Oh, you're eating lunch together again?"

Uryuu blinked, looking up.

"Kojima-san?" he asked, with one eyebrow raised.

"You must really be getting on well with Kuchiki-kun, I guess."

"Regrettably, that isn't the case... it's more like she latched onto me. Like a limpet. Or a barna-"

"Please excuse him. He has no manners."

The shinigami smiled sweetly at Mizuiro as Uryuu massaged his stomach.

_What did she reinforce her elbow with? Steel or something?_

"You're Mizuiro, right?"

"You remembered!" He gave her his special reserved-for-cute-girls-only smile. "I suppose I should introduce myself properly - I'm Mizuiro Kojima, and I'm – "

"A Casanova."

"Casanova?" Rukia asked, mystified.

Mizuiro pondered this. "Eeh... Well, I suppose it doesn't sound _so_ bad when you put it like that, Ishida-san – "

Uryuu twitched. "He's a serial womanizer."

"Do you have to kill my reputation?" Mizuiro pouted. "Besides, I'm only interested in older women! All girls my age are safe – "

"That's precisely why I'm worried," the Quincy muttered under his breath, before adding, slightly louder, "Besides, you flirt with _everyone._"

"That's just because my special someone – "

"Is blind?"

He received a glare for this comment.

"Mizuiro! Uryuu!" Keigo leaned down towards Kuchiki in an attempt to kiss her hand. "And the beautiful Kuchiki-sama... Wait, you're really _dating?_!" he wailed, leaping up.

"Yes." "_No!_" "What?"

Uryuu stared at Mizuiro, who looked back at him innocently. Kuchiki, of course, just looked utterly confused by everything, and resumed the attempt of poking the straw through her own juicebox this time. Oh no, she wouldn't be reliant on Uryuu Ishida _this _time, she was making her own way in the world!

"That is to say," he replied, carefully, "I am not dating Kuchiki-san, and have no intention whatsoever of dating Kuchiki-san." _That would be graverobbing. Literally so, since she's dead._ "It's just – " He improvised wildly – "She doesn't know many other people at the school yet." _Yes! A reasonable excuse to fob her off on someone else!_

"Then allow me to introduce myself!" Keigo sprang to a salute. "I am Keigo Asano! Now let us have lunch in this most excellent – "

"Asano-san, have you seen Sado-san recently?"

"Huh? No... Haven't I told you both to stop using my last name? How long have we been friends..."

"Sure, Asano-san." Mizuiro gave his friend an insincere smile.

"As you wish, Asano-san." Uryuu adjusted his glasses and got on with the task of reading his book.

"Mizuiroooo..." Keigo wailed, just before an ominous shadow loomed over them all.

"Eeeh... Yasutora isn't here?"

Uryuu raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you with something?"

Oushima leered. "I remember you now... You're that geek kid that keeps hanging around with him, right?"

"S-shit! Oushima-san... your suspension got _cancelled?_!"

"If by that you mean 'am I friends with Sado-san', then the answer is yes," Uryuu replied curtly, ignoring Keigo completely. He flipped a page of his book, before said book was promptly snatched from him.

He looked up.

The ominous scowl on Oushima's face was considerably offset by the effect of the bright-orange afro.

_Really, could he look like any more of an idiot?_

"You know where Yasu is, huh?"

"Oushima-san... really, we know we're not a match for you..."

Out of the corner of his eye, Ishida could see Kuchiki stiffen slightly.

"Your concern, although touching, is unnecessary." Uryuu's eyes narrowed. "Now, kindly _give me back the book_."

"You think you're such a big guy, at the top of the class, huh?" Oushima leaned forwards until his nose was an inch short of Uryuu's. "Well, your big damn muscly boyfriend isn't around for you now – "

One hand slipped into a pocket, before coming out, brass-clad.

"Shit! Ishida, get out of there! He's seriously gonna maul you!" Keigo shrieked, trying to pull Uryuu away before being shoved roughly aside.

_...this is getting extremely irritating. Does nobody have faith in me?_

One fist grabbed hold of the front of Uryuu's shirt, an action which caused the corner of his eye to twitch.

" - so maybe I should pulp some of the shit outta you, to teach him a lesson - "

A button tore loose as Oushima yanked hard, shaking Uryuu.

_He... just... tore off... a button._

Ishida watched it fall, as if in slow-motion, the careful attachments tearing through the fabric and undoing in one second what had taken ten.

It hit the ground with a _plunk_.

Keigo noticed this.

"...shit. Ishida? Don't kill him, okay?"

Oushima snickered. "You're kidding right? A piece of shit like this, actually put up a fight - "

Uryuu backhanded him across the roof, sending him flying up until the point where he collided with a massive figure.

"Chad!"

"Yo."

"Ah... Sado-san. Please excuse me. I need to retrieve my book." Uryuu made his way over to the still-struggling Oushima, stepping on the fallen teenager's back and eliciting a groan as he bent down.

"What just happened?" asked Kuchiki in a whisper.

"Oh... it's just... you probably don't know, but Ishida really likes sewing. He makes his own clothes," said Mizuiro cheerily.

Keigo winced. "Except he hates having to put buttons on... and they get pulled off when he fights sometimes. Basically whenever that happens he kinda turns into psycho-mode Ishida or something."

"...you do realise I'm _right in front of you_?"

The brunette shrieked, leaping up about a foot into the air. "Ah! Uryuu... Don't do that suddenly appearing thing, it's scary when you turn up out of nowhere..."

"I just don't see why they always have to tear off the buttons. Do they have no idea as to how much thread I go through every month _just because _some complete and utter _idiot_ decided to seize the front of my shirt rather than the sides or something? But oh no, it's _always _the bloody buttons and then there's a _hole_ left where the thread pulls through the fabric and I can't sew it back in the same place again without leaving a lump where I have to fix it - "

"Sooo... Chad, where did you get that bird?" asked Keigo, eager to move the conversation on from Uryuu's sewing rant. "Is that your new pet or something?"

"Huh?" Uryuu blinked, suddenly snapped out of his sewing-casualty induced monologue. "Oh... you have a parakeet?"

"Mmm."

"Wait... Chad, you're bruised? Did you run into someone?"

"Oh... it's nothing. A motorcyclist ran into me by accident... so I had to take him to hospital first before getting here."

Kuchiki raised an eyebrow at this, before giving the parakeet (and then Uryuu) a pointed and significant look.

_Oh god. What does she think I am, blind or something? I _do_ possess some sense of reiatsu perception, thankyouverymuch for your faith in my abilities._

"You do realise... most people would have _taken the day off school_..."


	13. Big Game Hunting

**This time on TWIBW:** Badassery! Explosions! Mass destruction all round! Also, the dramatic ending to the parakeet thing.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh yeah... with response to the Quincy attacks all being in crappy-grammar-German-form... it sucks. Not all of the abilities are in German though, since there are a few in Japanese. I'll probably use Japanese as the predominant language here to be honest. When I write the ability names in German it doesn't sound so sexy. D;  
(Besides, Uryuu is Japanese, so it would make sense that any abilities he develops and names by himself would be in Japanese as well...)

Oh, one more thing: I'm going to try to get another update up on the 15th too. This thing has been running for almost a year now... that's a scary thought.

* * *

"Uryuu. That bird – " the shinigami began, as Keigo went off with Mizuiro and Sado in order to give them some 'alone time'.

"I'm not blind. I noticed." He continued fixing the button back onto his shirt, temporarily reattaching it in place. _It probably won't last all that long, but it'll do for the time being..._

Kuchiki blinked.

"Oh. Right." She recovered quickly, however. "Then I suppose we can purify it later. It doesn't seem like a hollow – "

"I just _told_ you I'm not blind. And yes, I did notice the hollow stalking it and Sado-san."

"Wait, there was a _hollow?_!"

Uryuu dropped his head into his hands.

"Is something wrong?"

He glanced up to look at Sado, who had a plastic shopping bag in one hand and the parakeet's cage in the other.

"Oh... it was nothing... just thinking about something... actually, Sado-san, could you help me?" he asked, perking up slightly at an idea. _I know how to get the parakeet away from him... now then... _"I was looking at the bird, and I thought it would be really wonderful for inspiration for a new design of clothing I'm making! I don't suppose I could borrow it for a night or two?"

"Uh... actually..."

"I'll definitely take care of it!"

_He seems reluctant to hand it over..._

"Well... I was looking after it for someone else, actually... they said it was cursed."

_Cursed?... oh, right. That would probably be the hollow traces around. Although I don't quite understand why the hollow would target that soul particularly. Maybe it's a newly dead hollow, and one of its relatives got trapped in the bird somehow? _He mentally shook himself. _No, that doesn't sound quite right... at any rate, it's probably not important._

Uryuu gave his friend a bright, cheery smile. "It's a good thing I'm curse-resistant, then!"

He beamed.

It was the one thing that Sado could never ever resist. Uryuu had never quite managed to figure out why this particular expression of his was so adorably cute in his friend's eyes, and he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to know... but it _did_ have a 100% success rate. So far.

_Yes! Success! We have sparkly eyes!_

There was a snort from the general direction of Kuchiki.

"...just take care, okay?" Sado asked, an edge of anxiety seeping into his voice again. "And look after him."

The bird's head cocked to one side as it was passed to its new master.

"Hey, mister, you're a friend of Yasutora's?"

_That's definitely a human intelligence. There's no way that can just be a bird behind those eyes._

"Yes... my name is Uryuu Ishida." He turned back to Sado, before giving him a thumbs-up sign. "Thank you!"

* * *

As a precaution, he kept the bird with him. It remained quiet during his classes, and the rest of the day passed mainly without event. There had been one brief moment when a chunk of something - probably concrete rubble or stone - had come hurtling towards his head with terrifying speed, but a single shot had taken care of that. The hollow had not revealed itself in any other way; probably it was trying to play mind-games or something similar.

"Mister Uryuu... he's coming..." the bird spoke up.

"The hollow? But... the detector – "

"Kuchiki?" Uryuu spoke up.

"What?" she asked, startled as she turned towards him.

"Your detector sucks. It's here."

She glowered at him, before glancing at his bag. "Did you bring the asauchi?"

He opened his mouth to tell her that of _course _he brought the damn sword, except -

_...shit. I took it out this morning, didn't I?_

"You moron! I told you to bring it with you!"

Uryuu glared at her. "It's not as if I even _need_ it to fight."

Kuchiki seemed momentarily flummoxed. "Well, yes, but... what, you're just going to _destroy_ it?"

_- the orange-haired child he'd once met by the riverside -_

_Dammit!_

"Fine, then. Run and get it. I can hold it off for long enough, anyway." _I trained myself enough to be able to do that._

Kuchiki gave him a filthy look, just before she sprinted towards the apartment to pick up the zanpakuto.

_Wait... she doesn't have the keys to get in. Oops._

"Mister Uryuu... it's dangerous, I don't want you to get hurt..."

"It's alright," he told the bird. "I won't let that happen."

"No..." The bird's head drooped. "It's my fault... he took my mommy, then he said if I could stay away from him like this, he'd bring my mommy back to life again..."

_...dammit! The hollow's still hiding itself... its reiatsu isn't clear. If only it would come out I could do something... but..._

"How _touching_..." There was a cackling sound. "But soon you'll suffer the same fate as all the others!"

Uryuu whirled around. He could feel the spike of the hollow's reiatsu, but it wasn't nearby. A little further away, in the direction of -

_Shit... it's after Kuchiki-san!_

"I smell the delectable scent of the shinigami... but after that, boy, you're next."

The voice seemed to be coming from several different sources, something that caused Uryuu to frown.

_But the hollow isn't here... so how..._

"Mister! Watch out!"

Something shifted on the rooftops, catching his attention.

As a result, he was _just_ in time to see the multiple frog-like creatures spray leeches everywhere, as a shrill whistle pierced the night.

* * *

Rukia kept running, up until she hit something solid and rebounded.

"C-Chad!"

He stared down at her. "Kuchiki-san? Are you okay?"

"Yes! That is to say... everything's just fine, but Uryuu asked me to get something he forgot - " She paled as a figure suddenly stepped into view at the end of the street, before leaping forwards towards them.

With a supernatural surge of strength, Rukia managed to push Sado to the ground just as the hollow passed overhead.

"Kuchiki-san... what was that?"

"Hmm... so you managed to dodge my attack, then. Don't presume too much of yourself though, shinigami!" A long froglike tongue slid out of its mouth, before vibrating to produce a high-pitched whistling sound.

There was a dull explosion.

_What... was that? I didn't see any effects of an attack... but there was a noise in the distance..._ Her eyes widened. _Uryuu!_

"You're not getting any backup now. Your pretty friend should be decorating the pavement~" sang the hollow, leering.

"What do you want with him? He didn't do anything to you!" _Although if he'd had the opportunity... No! Uryuu isn't dead. He isn't weak enough to get killed by something like that!_

"Well..." The tongue ran over its teeth. "He was looking after that irritating brat I put in the bird. That kid got me killed! I was having the best time of my life, painting the walls with blood - but oh no, he just _had_ to get in the way... so now I'm making him pay." There was an echoing sigh from behind the mask. "It's a shame I couldn't get to kill him personally... but having a _third_ shinigami should more than make up for that."

"Kuchiki-san. That's... the one who Yuuichi was talking about?"

She turned to Sado, startled. "You can see it?"

Sado frowned. "I can sort of see the outline... he told me about his mother when I kept him."

"Oh?" The hollow's head tilted to one side slightly. "Then that will make things more interesting... but I'm tired of this now. Shinigami... come out to play from that shell quickly, or I'll kill you." One fist swiped out, knocking Rukia flying as it cackled. "Ah, who am I kidding. I'll kill you anyway!"

The hollow's raucous laughter was cut abruptly short by Sado's fist.

"I hit him?"

"You couldn't see me before..." it muttered, recovering from the blow. "A lucky fluke, huh? Then I guess I'll just have to make sure that kind of thing doesn't happen again!"

The hollow leapt into the sky, wings unfurling from its arms as Rukia's eyes widened.

"Kuchiki-san, you can see him. Can you point me in the right direction?"

"I... yes, but... he's in the sky, you can't reach..."

"You don't have any way of hitting me up here! Besides, there's no way you could possibly get him to hit me again like this... so how shall I attack? Swooping down like a falcon, snatching away my prey - "

There was a crack as Sado braced himself against the pavement, before breaking one of the telegraph poles off at the base and ripping it free.

"Which direction?"

Rukia was rendered temporarily speechless as she pointed, silently.

"...what the hell?"

"Just swing it down now!" she yelled.

The telegraph pole came down with a crash, smashing the hollow down into the ground.

"Stay down. You're done for." Rukia walked towards the fallen creature as Sado followed, more cautiously.

"Hehehehe... you fools... didn't you wonder how I managed to kill and eat 2 shinigami before you?" The hollow shifted from its position. "What did you think happened to your other friend, the one you gave the brat to?"

Suddenly, the sky was darkened with falling, froglike hollows, pinning Rukia and Sado to the ground with their unexpected assault.

"Idiots... I fight alone for a little while and you figure I don't have friends with me?"

_Damn... cheating tactics..._

"Nnngh..."

Sado wrenched himself up off the ground, throwing the mini-hollows off his body with a massive effort.

"What the hell is with this guy? Everything he does... he tries to solve it all with brute force!"

"Sado!" the shinigami yelled. "Kick them off me!"

His foot sent the mini-hollows on Rukia's back flying as the main one took off again, watching warily this time.

"Okay, you might have taken me by surprise... but that won't happen again."

"Fool. Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?" She straightened up, glowering at the hollow with all the righteous fury due to a member of the Kuchiki household. "I am Rukia Kuchiki, one of the only shinigami to face down a Vasto Lorde and live to tell the tale! My friend makes the kings of hollows cower on a daily basis! You don't have any hope of winning this fight!"

_Okay, that might be a _bit_ of an exaggeration, but I'm pretty sure Uryuu is still around somewhere. I don't think I have enough energy left for a decent kido attack, though..._

The hollow stared at her, before beginning to laugh. "You? Take down a Vasto Lorde? You couldn't hold a candle even to a Gillian! Just for that insolence... it's about time you all died. Watch closely and you'll see just how your friend died before I scrape up the pieces!"

Rukia looked up to notice the roofs were lined with the same froglike creatures that had pinned her down earlier.

"How about a demonstration?"

One of the creatures squeezed its bulbous head, causing leeches to spray out and attach onto her body before she could dodge.

"Those things... are my Hiruno Bakudan. You like them?" The tongue stuck out again, producing a whistling sound as the leeches exploded.

_Damn... if only I wasn't stuck in this gigai... why did they have to give them normal human reaction times anyway?_

Sado caught her before she could hit the ground. "What just happened?"

"Explosives. He just shot them at me..."

"And now... it's the end for you guys." The hollow gave a jaunty wave, as all the froglike hollows reached up towards their heads before squeezing.

"Sado... run..."

Leeches flew everywhere across the street as Rukia closed her eyes and Sado started to move, carrying her in his arms.

_We aren't going to make it... kinda depressing that I get put down by this half-bit hollow, huh?_

The whistle sounded once more.

And then the street was filled with light.

* * *

Shrieker had been feeling pretty good.

Not only had he got rid of another guy who'd been looking after the bird-brat, but the bird-brat was also dead and he'd managed to round up another owner. And, as icing on the cake, there was even another shinigami around! It really had been his lucky day.

It was a shame the shinigami hadn't been too strong, though. He'd been looking forward to toying with her and the bird-brat for a little longer. Maybe waiting until the three months were up before telling the bird-brat he'd failed, and looking at the expression on his face when he realised he wouldn't be seeing his precious momma ever again –

"Sorry I'm late. I got caught up in some things."

The split leeches spattered against the ground impotently, each and every one of them burst open before they had exploded.

"What... how did you..." Shrieker stuttered, for once at a loss as the bespectacled human stepped forward, something strange in his hand – something like a bow made of light. It wasn't anything like a shinigami's weapon, although there was what was evidently a zanpakuto, held casually in his right hand.

"You probably wouldn't know about the Quincy, I suppose."

"Quincy... hmm... is that what you are? At any rate, you smell even more delicious than I first thought... get him!" Shrieker screamed at his little froglike minions –

- which were no longer perched in position, but messily splattered across the rooftops.

"I already saw your little trick with the explosions. Too bad for you; my bow can shoot considerably more arrows in a second than you even have minions." The form of the bow dropped away into nothing once more, as the boy shifted his grip on the zanpakuto.

There was a tearing sound behind Shrieker.

He almost sagged with relief at the sound of a garganta. _Escape! Yes! Now I can leave and come get payback against this guy later!_

Shrieker turned.

"Now... would you like to meet _my_ little friend?"

* * *

_"...I'm not cooking for you tonight."_

_"What?"_

_"I'm not 'your little friend'! That's Rukia, not me - "_

* * *

_Sado sweated slightly as the new transfer student apparently whacked thin air with her notebook..._

* * *

**Quincy Encyclopaedia...**

Hiruno Bakudan (蛭の 爆弾): Leech Bomb. These are the explosive leeches that Shrieker possesses in his little backup hollows. The backup hollows are remotely controlled by Shrieker, and are capable of taking action and speaking if he wishes them to. They are capable of producing a large quantity of explosive leeches, which are aimed at a target. The leeches latch on to whatever they land on. Shrieker can then vibrate his tongue, making a high-pitched whistling noise at a particular frequency which causes the leeches to explode, damaging anything in the vicinity. The leeches can be destroyed and dodged without too much difficulty, as can the backup hollows which produce them; however, when killed, the backup hollows will spill the leeches everywhere, which may still be used as bombs. They're also excellent for target practise, if you happen to be a Quincy.


	14. Strawberry Runaround

**This time on TWIBW:** Perverts and plot exposition! Alongside Ichigo's sexy human face. (Or something like that.)

* * *

**A/N: **I ended up renaming Kon. I suspect the mod-soul himself is _slightly_ more imaginative than Ichigo is... but only slightly. The gigai probably won't be used all that much until a little bit later, to be honest. In theory, it should be possible for a gigai to be usable for a hollow (or, at least, an arrancar), although I suspect you would need to make quite a lot of adaptations - hence such a gigai only turning up at this point in the story. The odds of anyone ever needing to make such a thing beforehand would be abysmally low, at any rate. This chapter took longer than the others to write... I got a little stuck with some parts of it.

* * *

"Ah... Ichigo-kun, Uryuu-kun. This is unexpected..."

"Did you finish it yet?"

"It's almost done. You really did ask for something very specialist. Concealing and transforming your reiatsu into something completely different without burning away... not to mention the fact that with your level of reiatsu, what you want needs to be quite hardy. But it should be ready quite shortly." Urahara fanned himself. "I believe Tessai is adding the finishing touches to it, at any rate. It should be ready for use at the end of the day."

"Thanks. It's not something I'd really want to use all of the time, of course, but – "

"I perfectly understand."

"Urahara-dono." Tessai's head poked around the doorframe. "It is done."

"Perfect timing! Well then," Urahara declared, beaming at Ichigo, "shall we give it a test run?"

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Uryuu asked sceptically. "I remember what happened the last time." He shuddered at the memory. The gigai had been effectively shredded to pieces, and since it had been semi-organic in order to fool a casual inspection, the mess had gone _everywhere._

"My, my, Uryuu-kun, don't you have any faith in my abilities?..."

"No," he replied, bluntly. _Not after having to clean up 40kg of what was effectively minced gigai. I never managed to get the bloodstains out of that outfit..._

"It's not as if you didn't manage to make a _brand new top_ in about 15 minutes afterwards. Besides, it's not your gigai." Ichigo stuck his tongue out at Uryuu a little, causing the latter to mentally berate himself.

_…anyone who thinks permanent mental connections are a good idea? They're an idiot._

Urahara looked bewildered for a brief second, before wisely deciding not to question the whole thing.

"Tessai-san, could you please bring it up? Oh, and also... if you're using that, of course you'll need a gikongan... now then..."

Both men vanished back into the depths of the shop.

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" the Quincy asked quietly.

"It'll make things easier. Besides... there are people around with high spiritual pressure other than just yourself and Kuchiki. This'll make things easier."

"Asano-san, Sado-san and Inoue-san..." Uryuu muttered under his breath. "Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that Arisawa-san could make something out, too."

"...yeah." There was a fraction of a second's hesitation; somehow, Uryuu got the impression his friend was frowning under the mask. "It'd be awkward if I ran into them like this. Besides, I'll be able to talk to people again! Other people, that is," he hastily amended.

_Way to make a guy feel wanted, Ichigo._

"Don't worry, you're still my best friend!"

Uryuu was immediately tackled to the ground as Ichigo pounced on him, pinning him to the floor.

"What the hell are you _doing?_!"

"Well, you were being all depressing and emo so I thought I needed to give you a hug." Ichigo's arms wrapped around the Quincy.

Uryuu was pretty certain he heard something crack as the hollow's grip tightened.

"This doesn't count as a hug!" he yelled, still struggling. "This is assault! Let go of me - "

"Wait... Glasses guy? What're you doing here? And you're with him - "

_As if this couldn't get any more embarrassing... Jinta has to turn up..._

"Get off me. _Now._" Uryuu twisted his head round, aiming his severest glare at Kurosaki.

Ichigo continued to sit on his back, tail twitching slightly from side to side.

_Why couldn't I have just gotten a cat or something?_

Urahara's head appeared around the doorframe.

"Ah... Uryuu-kun... if you're busy, I could just come back later - "

"No! No, we're fine, he was just _getting off - _" With a massive exertion, Uryuu manage to push himself off the floor, causing Ichigo to slide off.

If looks could kill, then Ichigo would have been even more dead than he already was.

"Jinta-kun... if you could fetch a gikongan..."

The red-haired boy was broken out of his horrified trance. "Wait, what?"

"Gikongan. Fetch." Uryuu's eyes narrowed, glaring at the boy to say _anything _about what he had just seen.

"Hmph... Ururu should be doing this stuff..." Nonetheless, Jinta vanished into the back room as Urahara pulled the gigai into the room.

"This one is semi-organic. It took some time to work with the right kind of materials in order to increase the stability. It should convert the hollow reiatsu emitted into a more stable form less liable to attract attention, for a start. That was the problem with the last one; there was too much build-up with your power level and we failed to account for the... slight differences... in body shape, for a start. It shouldn't prove too restricting, but if there are problems - "

Ichigo picked up the gigai, inspecting it critically.

"Short hair?"

"I took some artistic liberties with it," explained Urahara, fanning himself.

The gigai was clad in fairly average-looking clothing; jeans and a T-shirt with a slashed-through record disc on the front. Its hair was similar to Arisawa's style, which was to say relatively short and spiky.

_I suppose waist-length hair in a boy would look... odd, to say the least. It's probably best it's like this..._

There was a slight flicker of light around the two forms for a second, an action that caused Uryuu to dive for cover. Previous experiences with Kisuke Urahara and his inventions had taught him to _always_ expect the worst possible scenario when using one of the man's inventions.

He waited behind a stack of cardboard boxes for a few seconds.

When there was no evidence of an explosion, he raised his head slightly.

"...you can come out now, Uryuu-kun~"

The Quincy twitched. _It's not as if I didn't have a reason to do that!_

Ichigo stared down at his new gigai.

"How do you feel?"

"Well... nothing's exploding. _This_ time. So I guess that's good?" Ichigo shrugged, before stretching his arms out. "It feels kinda weird though... I think the gigai's throwing my balance off." He took a few tentative steps forward, before staggering and falling on his face. "Ow."

"Serves you right for tackling me to the floor earlier."

Suddenly, a gikongan dispenser came flying towards Ichigo. He absentmindedly snatched it out of the air, ignoring Jinta's mutterings.

"Ah, good. So that will be - "

"Yes?"

" - free," Urahara continued, without missing a beat. "In light of numerous services rendered and as refunding for the matter of the previous produce."

"Really, you don't have to."

"No, no, I insist!" The shopkeeper's smile was starting to look slightly maniacal at this point.

"So this is a gikongan, huh..." Ichigo inspected the item; there was a chibified skull on the top of the thing, making it look like a relatively standard candy dispenser.

"Well, yes. It's more convenient than needing someone around to give you a push out of your body all the time... besides, leaving a gigai empty tends to lead to police investigations when people find what looks an awful lot like a dead body." He sighed. "For some reason, all the girls seem to want the Chappy gikongan... I don't think I've had anyone buy the Alfred one for a while, since people don't think it's cute."

Ichigo shrugged. "Does it matter?"

He squeezed the little skull, causing a pill to pop out into his mouth.

_Just so long as it isn't the Demon Rabbit..._

There was a sound remarkably like a rubber band breaking, just as Ichigo's hollow form broke free of the still-standing gigai.

The gikongan sprang to a salute. "Greetings! I am HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOLLOW - "

It vanished in a cloud of dust, sprinting off as fast as possible out the door.

"Well... that went marginally better than last time," commented Ichigo.

..._crap. And now we have a retarded gikongan on the loose with Kurosaki's gigai. Not to mention they're particularly difficult to sense in the first place, and with his reiatsu-concealing gigai... this will be irritating._

* * *

On the rooftops of Karakura Town sprinted a boy with no name. As of yet, nobody had managed to notice him, since people don't generally tend to look upwards when walking around on the street.

_Shit! Why was there a hollow standing there when I came out? It would've been fine otherwise, I would've gotten this sexy body and then they would've left me to do my own thing, but oh no -_

He dropped to the ground. He was far enough away that the hollow probably wouldn't find him, or whichever shinigami whose gigai he was using right now.

_Why did I have to just bolt before I even knew who I was meant to be avoiding?_! _Other than the hollow..._

He glanced at a windowpane. His new reflection was visible in the glass; bright orange hair, slightly spiky, brown eyes.

_Actually... I guess this new body isn't too bad. As long as I stay out of the shinigami's way for the time being, and as long as the hollow doesn't come after me... but then... yeah, I guess they're probably fighting each other right now. I guess that was why I got called out... at any rate... I guess it's best if I make the most of it for the time being._ He stretched experimentally, marvelling at the feel of the power running through his legs. _This body's pretty cute, to be honest. I feel like I could run a marathon like this!_

"Hey, you!"

He glanced around at the man striding towards him. The human was quickly closing the distance between them.

"Huh?"

"Don't 'huh' me, boy! What are you doing outside of your class right now?"

And now the burly man had his hand clamped firmly on his shoulder, preventing any possible attempts to flee.

_Crap! Did he spot me earlier?_

"Your parents _will_ be informed about this incident, make no mistake about that, boy."

"But I'm not even – "

"Don't try to pull a fast one on _me._ I don't know what you were thinking coming in to school dressed like _this,_ but you're not getting away with skipping class so blatantly. The _nerve _of teenagers these days..." the man added, this time in an undertone.

"I don't even come to this school! I was just here for the day!" he shrieked, frantically trying to wrench himself loose.

Unfortunately, the other man appeared to have a very firm grip. He could feel the glare boring through his skull as he was frogmarched down the corridor.

_This day was going so well..._

* * *

Uryuu groaned.

At Kisuke's insistence, he had gone to school that day. The shopkeeper had informed the teenager that he was going to take care of the whole business. Uryuu was starting to wish he'd stayed behind, irresponsible as that was; the topic being covered was an extremely dry part of history, and Asano was insisting on flicking notes at his head.

_WTF is up w/ you and Rukia? U guys dating or not?_

He scowled, before turning the scrap of paper over and scribbling a reply.

_For the last time, we are not dating. End of discussion. I refuse to pass any more idiotic messages like this._

A twitch of his wrist and the note successfully ended up back on Asano's desk without Ochi-sensei noticing. He took advantage of Keigo's momentary distraction in order to continue taking his notes -

- just as the door burst open.

Ochi-sensei turned around, startled.

The imposing figure of Saito Kagine, a much-feared figure by all slackers in physical education classes, was framed by the doorway. And, in his grasp -

_Huh?_! _What's he doing here?_

"Kagine-san... What brings you here?"

He marched up to the front, dragging the orange-haired boy along with him.

_"Who the hell is that?"_

_"I don't recognise him..."_

"I found this delinquent outside just now. He's about the right age to be in your class, even though he _claims,_" and at this Kagine scowled even more fiercely, "that he was 'just visiting'. If you'll excuse me now, I have my lessons to manage..."

He turned around and left, leaving a quaking gikongan behind.

_That moron! Couldn't he even stay out of trouble? _Uryuu raged silently.

"I told you! I'm not even in this class – "

The teacher muttered something uncomplimentary under her breath about her co-worker. "Right. What's your name?"

"U-uh..."

Rukia was frowning at the boy with an intent expression. _Probably trying to figure out what's going on. She's not the only one, for that matter... why did he have to run into a school teacher of all things?_

"My name is Kaizo Komura!" he declared suddenly, appearing to come to a decision. "Yeah, I actually go to a different school, but they were having a day off so I wanted to go see some friends - "

"Whatever. Just wait here for the time being while I go see the principal, _he_ can check. Class, if you make any ruckus while I'm gone, you're _all_ responsible for cleaning up!" And with those parting words, she swept out the door.

Kaizo blinked, before his attention turned to the other occupants of the room.

"Hey... are all the girls in this town this hot?"

"Who the hell is he to say stuff like that?" ranted Keigo.

"A-ah... actually, he's sort of cute..."

"_Thief!_ I won't have you corrupt my precious – "

"Does this sort of thing normally happen, Uryuu?" the shinigami whispered in his ear.

"No. It's probably just that you're a bad luck jinx or something, Kuchiki-san."

Tatsuki turned to look at him. "Ishida... you know this guy?"

"What? No! Why would I possibly know that class of person?"

And suddenly, Kaizo was in their faces, something that caused Orihime to make a small 'eep' noise and flinch backwards, blushing.

"What're your names... pretty ladies..."

"Ah... O-Orihime Inoue..."

"Rukia Kuchiki."

"You're just going to _answer_ _him?_!" Tatsuki shrieked, dropping into a martial arts stance and shifting towards Kaizo in order to get a better angle of attack.

"...would you kindly get out of my face?"

"Hey, cutie pie, you don't need to get so flustered... although you're a bit flat-chested for my taste... and your friend's attitude... playing hard to get, huh?"

The silence that fell with that one statement was electric. Even Tatsuki turned to stare.

Kaizo suddenly noticed the aura of impending doom that Uryuu was giving off.

He tried to backpedal, frantically. "Actually, there's stuff you can do for that kind of thing, I'm sure in a couple of years – "

"_What_ did you just say?"

Uryuu's facial expression was roughly equivalent to the one that had only ever been seen once, when, upon carrying one of his most grandiose creations to a shop, it had been wrecked beyond all repair by some idiot who had been targeting Yasutora Sado.

Kaizo scrambled back as realization suddenly hit him.

"...oh shit you're a _guy – _" was as far as he got, before Uryuu's hand twitched towards his sleeve.

"_Die._"

* * *

"...don't you think that was a bit overkill?" Rukia asked, trying to keep up with his longer stride.

"He insulted my masculinity." Uryuu did not look at Kuchiki.

"Well, yeah... but it took them an hour to get him down... and then his dad came in to rescue him..." Keigo muttered to himself. "I'm never pissing you off again..."

"Then they should just have asked me to let him down in the first place."

"They did."

"...oh. I didn't notice that, Sado-san... I must not have been paying enough attention." _Although it was quite amusing when Urahara-san turned up claiming to be looking for his delinquent son Kaizo._

Uryuu smiled, an action that caused Keigo to whimper just a little.

_Honestly. Why is everyone so disturbed when I smile?_

_...Uryuu... you do realise... you almost never actually smile when you're around people. And when you do, it's usually because you're pissed at something._

He blinked. _Really? Oh... well, at least we managed to get the gigai back without too much fuss... although I'm not sure whether you actually want to keep that guy or not._

_He isn't too bad, actually. _There was a brief image of a petrified Kaizo being hugged by Ichigo. _Once you get to know him._

* * *

_"...and then he started actually _laughing _to himself_, _it was seriously creepy! I thought the world was going to end or something – "_


	15. 6 17

**This time on TWIBW:** The revamped version of Chapter 15. Read it even if you already saw the original chapter~

* * *

**A/N: **Happy birthday! More or less. This fic is actually quite a bit older than the posting date denotes, but I can't actually remember the precise day I started writing it. Thanks go to everyone who reviewed and helped this go past just another story concept! I'd offer you celebratory cake or something... but I'm not sure it'd be edible...

With regards to the zanpakuto, it is, in fact, a tanto. To put this simply, this means the blade is somewhere below 30 cm long. (It would be a bit impractical to have a katana in someone's rucksack, particularly since you wouldn't really be able to get it _in_ there in the first place.) Obviously Uryuu would _never_ use such a ridiculously large and inconvenient thing as a zanpakuto. *cough*Ichigo*cough*

**Edit:** This chapter has been updated into its full version, since splitting it up would have just looked _weird._ I personally warn you that this is not on the same lighthearted note as the other chapters; I have tried to keep things from getting too bad, but there is still a not-inconsiderable amount of gore. If you read the original chapter, just scroll down to where it left off if you want.  
(With regards to the outfit... Grand Fisher's bait always wears a poncho. Bit of a dead giveaway.)

* * *

In the end, Ichigo had managed to persuade Uryuu not to kill the mod-soul, after everyone had calmed down a bit. However, it was pretty evident that Kaizo in the gigai the majority of the time would spell the kind of major trouble that they could do without (Ichigo had mentioned that he didn't want his gigai's reputation killed before he'd even managed to do anything with it), so it had been up to Uryuu to find an alternative body for the time being.

After much debating between the occupants of the apartment (both Ichigo and Kaizo had argued against the idea of using a living creature, and Uryuu had objected to having it placed within a corpse since it would probably start to smell after a while), they had eventually settled on a stuffed lion plushie. It was small, vaguely humanoid, and allowed more freedom of movement than just leaving Kaizo inside his pill until Ichigo needed him.

Uryuu being Uryuu, however, had not let the mod-soul's earlier comment slide without a little payback. As a result, the plush bear currently sported a bright-blue Quincy cross on the back of its head, as well as a ridiculously frilly dress that had originally been intended as a present for Yuzu's dolls but was currently being modelled on Kaizo. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have put anywhere _near_ that amount of lace on the thing, but...

"Onee-chaaaan! Save me from this monster!" Kai ran wailing down the hallway to leap into Rukia's waiting embrace of the heavens, only to be stopped by her hand.

"What's he done now?" Rukia lifted the small lion plush up to her face, noting the exceptional handiwork and craftmanship of the dress currently adorning it.

_...that'll be the day._

"Well... I figured that Yuzu was in need of a new outfit for her dolls, so it was only natural that I make full use of all available resources to create such a thing." Uryuu adjusted his glasses.

"He's a terror! A demon! I can't get these off!" Kai tugged fruitlessly at the dress. "This is an affront to my manliness!"

"Good," said Uryuu shortly. The mod-soul's earlier actions still rankled. "Does the hollow forecast predict anything for tomorrow?"

"What? No... the alerts don't usually turn up _that_ far in advance, why?"

"...It's nothing."

"Haaanh?" Kai pointed an accusatory paw at Uryuu, still dangling from Rukia's hand as she fiddled with the catches on the back of the dress. "Don't say something dramatic like that and then just leave us hanging! Hey! Where are you going!" he called out as Uryuu walked past them towards the door.

"Out." The door closed behind him.

* * *

"That guy... trying to act so cool..." Kai grumbled under his breath.

"It _is_ his apartment," pointed out Ichigo mildly, an action which caused Kai to shriek and Rukia to drop the plushie.

"Where did you come from? Don't jump out at people like that!"

"...the kitchen? I didn't exactly jump out. Besides, he's probably going out to get flowers. It's almost the seventeenth," he added, offhandedly.

"What's such a big deal about the seventeenth?" Rukia asked, feeling a little lost with the conversation. "And why would he need flowers, anyway..."

Ichigo shrugged. "I have no idea about the flowers. I _told_ him people were going to get the wrong impression if he gives them to me every year, but oh no... it's to save time, he always says, since they're for me anyway I might as well have them _directly - _"

Kai frowned, crossing his arms in what might have been an intimidating gesture had he not been ten inches high. "What're you talking about?"

"Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I died. It's kinda traditional that people put flowers on graves for the people who die, but because I'm still hanging around Uryuu decided it would be more efficient if he just gave them to me straight away..." Ichigo shifted slightly awkwardly from foot to foot. "So yeah, that's about it?"

"Ah... I thought it might have been... very well." Rukia bowed her head, before smacking her fist into the palm of her left hand in a forceful gesture. "I will do my best to ensure that any intruding hollows are dealt with by myself on that day on my honour as a Kuchiki!"

"Onee-chan..." Kai gestured frantically at Ichigo, who seemed rather bemused by the entire debacle.

"Present company excepted, of course," she amended hastily, before searching for another topic of conversation. _Say something! I wish Sode no Shirayuki was here... at least she's always good at -_

Rukia's eyes widened at the sight of a strap running across Ichigo's chest.

_That wasn't there before..._

"...what're you doi- "

"Could you turn around?"

The hollow complied.

And there, held in place, was a zanpakuto almost as familiar as her own.

"What... Nejibana – but how – Where did you get that zanpakuto!" Rukia was nearly shouting by that point.

"I found it recently in the possession of a hollow I defeated. Is something wrong?"

"In the possession of a hollow," she muttered under her breath. _So... Kaien-dono's soul wasn't really released that night... is there nothing that I accomplished that day?_

"Onee-chan... you okay?" The mod-soul tugged at the base of her skirt, not even attempting to peer up it for once.

_There is nothing I can do about it right now. Even if Ichigo offered his bare chest to me right now, my shinigami powers... aren't enough to purify his soul right now. And besides, to repay his and Uryuu's hospitality in this way would make me a very poor house guest. But even so..._

She exhaled, letting out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

_No. I can't change things as they stand at this time._

"Yes. That is to say... it's nothing."

* * *

Tatsuki Arisawa was never _quite _sure how both she and Uryuu Ishida managed to become honorary members of the Kurosaki family, but it had happened, at any rate. Karin and Yuzu were more like little sisters to her than anything else; Isshin, though, was... well... somewhat crazy, if she was being honest.

Sometimes, she wondered what Ichigo might have been like if he hadn't had that accident... _maybe he'd have still been the same... that midget who was always terrible at karate... Dammit! I promised I wouldn't get all nostalgic like this again!_

"My dear daughters! And Uryuu of course, my precious godson – "

"Nice to know I'm still loved," she muttered under her breath, just loud enough for Uryuu to hear and eliciting a slight upward twitch to the corners of his mouth.

"Today we will be having a race to the finish line! And to make it even more interesting, I will do it running on my hands! Daddy Super Slide Tackle!"

Isshin somehow managed to launch himself towards Karin whilst performing a handstand. She promptly responded by aiming a kick at his head, sending him flying.

"I think it probably gets worse every year... I'm _glad_ I never took up his offer to live with him."

"Yeah... I feel kinda sorry for Karin and Yuzu, actually." _I have no idea how Karin puts up with it. Although it's good that they're like this... it's better than having them weeping._

Uryuu absentmindedly fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt, gazing into the distance at the figures of the Kurosaki family.

"Something wrong?"

"No, it's probably nothing..." He sighed, before turning to face her fully. "Come on. We'd better go before Isshin destroys something."

"You brought chocolate?"

"Well, he'd prefer it over flowers... although it won't be going to waste..."

Tatsuki wondered what exactly went through Uryuu's mind sometimes. Probably nobody knew, at any rate... his logic was completely incomprehensible. Only a child might be able to keep up with his insane reasoning, and even then... _Either that or someone as crazy as he is._

* * *

Meanwhile in Hueco Mundo, Ichigo Kurosaki sneezed somewhere in the Menos Forest.

* * *

"...a test?"

"If you complete this... Aizen-sama will be highly pleased. We need only the preliminary evaluation."

Szayel Aporro Granz adjusted his glasses slightly, staring up at the massive form of the hollow before him.

_Pathetic trash. Not even the wits to realize that he isn't necessary. He couldn't even cast off his fear of losing himself and become a Gillian, at least... not even after all this time._

"I still don't get why it needs to be this shitheap of a human town."

The arrancar barely managed to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Really, this creature made even _Yammy_ look like an intellect. "There is an artifact there which is of interest to Aizen-sama. We merely need to test the defences for the time being..." _Although since this idiot thinks with his stomach alone... _"Of course, you are at perfect liberty to take your choice of prey whilst there, since it's currently the Japanese region with the highest reiatsu concentration. I hear there's a new shinigami girl that's been posted there, as a matter of fact," he added, almost as an afterthought.

_Although I'd rather take the Quincy, personally. Not that I'm going to mention _him_ to the idiot. That would be a waste of a perfectly good specimen, not to mention they're almost extinct in the first place. Trying to find another to fill in my research would be nigh on impossible if the Quincy happened to be eaten._

"...Fine. She better taste _real_ good."

Szayel sighed.

_Honestly... why must I work with these fools... they're really no better than base animals..._

* * *

_"_Yuzu... jeez, you keep crying every time..." Karin's arm was over her sister's shoulder as they kneeled in front of the twin graves.

"S-sorry."

"We're already 11 this year. We've got to be mature! Be tough like Tatsuki!"

Yuzu looked away, wiping her face. "I know, but still..."

A shrill sound rent the air.

"That guy... Well, I guess we've got to meet up with the old guy..."

"Yuzu... Karin..."

Karin turned around to see Uryuu, slightly out of breath, with Tatsuki following close behind. "Hey. What're you doing up here?"

"Ah... that is to say... I was a little concerned, this part of the cliff isn't quite as stable, so I was worried about the rock crumbling or something - "

"He's being an idiot," Tatsuki cut in.

"I am _not_ being an idiot. It is a perfectly valid concern! Besides, shouldn't we be going?"

_He isn't usually like this... he seems kinda worried about something. But we've been up to this part of the graveyard before, the ground's fine even when it's been pouring it down. So why...?_

"What's that kid standing over there for?" Karin asked aloud. There was a person at the edge of the cliff, possibly a girl, although it was a little difficult to tell from this distance.

"Shit!" Tatsuki started sprinting towards the girl, evidently aiming to yank her back from the precipice.

"Huh? I don't see anything..."

_What? If it's a ghost... that would be why Yuzu can't see it... but Tatsuki can't see spirits, so how-_

The girl turned around to stare at them.

"...you guys... can see me?"

"Look, no matter what it is, nothing's going to change if you just jump off! It's not going to - "

"Arisawa-san, get back!" Uryuu yelled, lunging towards her. Unfortunately, his momentum carried the two of them just past the ghost and _over the edge -_

"ISHIDA!"

"Wonderful... this is just wonderful..."

She pulled Yuzu back, the latter still in shock from watching two close people plunge to their deaths. There was something Karin really didn't like about the vibes that the girl on the cliff was giving off right now, and now there was an impression of something much bigger in the air above the girl.

Something materialized. It did not make a pretty picture, some monstrous furred creature with long claws and a bone-white patterned mask covering its face.

"They... they just..." Yuzu whimpered as Karin stepped slightly in front of her sister, ready to protect her if necessary.

"What _is _that thing behind you?"

"You can see that much, even?" The girl's face split into a hideous grin, mimicking that of the creature behind her. "You're the best!"

"Not so fast, hollow." A dark-haired figure suddenly stepped in between the creature and the twins. "At any rate... you won't be killing anyone today."

"Kuchiki-san?"

Rukia turned around briefly. "My duty is to take care of things like this."

"Don't worry! Onee-san's here, it'll all be fine!" A stuffed lion unzipped itself from Rukia's rucksack, jumping to the ground with a squeak.

"Ishida... Ishida's – " Her mouth wouldn't form the words, lips too dry to let the sound pass from them.

"It's okay. Whatever he's doing, I'm sure he'll be fine... but you won't be going any further!" These last words were addressed to the monster.

"Ishida..." One thoughtful claw was raised to the creature's mouth. "Do you mean that brat that just fell off the cliff?"

"...that guy's dead?" the toy asked in a disbelieving tone of voice.

Karin found her voice again. "There's nothing you can do! He's probably had all his bones broken or something, just like – "

"Kai... go down and check..."

"But – " The mod soul was about to protest, before stopping at Rukia's resolute expression.

"I'll take care of the hollow on my own." Rukia shifted her stance slightly, raising her hands in front of her.

Grand Fisher yawned in an overtheatric manner, mocking. "Are you done yet?"

"Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and then claw out your own throat! Bakudo #9: Geki!" Suddenly, the creature was held in place by a crimson light, as Rukia moved swiftly onto a second series of gestures. "Ye lord! Mask of flesh and bone, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Truth and temperance, upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws. Hado #33: Sokatsui!"

A blue sphere leapt forth, engulfing the monster completely with bluish-white flames.

"...that all?"

Rukia turned back towards the creature. The girl next to it gave a mocking smile.

"I've eaten many shinigami before... I've seen many kido before... but that one was truly pathetic! You're barely a shinigami at all; that hado was a disgrace. I hardly even felt it!"

"Not so fast."

"_Ishida?_!"

Standing on a translucent blue platform were Uryuu and Tatsuki, the latter of which looked extremely annoyed.

"You idiot! What the hell did you do that for?" Karin burst out, both relieved and furious. "We thought you were dead!"

"Yeah... I pretty much thought this moron got us killed..." Tatsuki muttered. "Except he caught us both with this weird glowy thing of his, so..."

"Excuse me? It isn't a 'weird glowy thing', it's - "

"Who cares?" cut in Tatsuki before Uryuu could go into one of his rants. "That's one of those things that attacked Orihime, right?"

"That is correct."

"Hmmm... I thought you died down there, brat - "

Grand Fisher's extensive monologue was cut short when Uryuu hurled a tanto through the air.

"Your aim... is truly pathetic. What did you think you'd hit with that shot?"

"_What the hell did you throw away your weapon for?_!" Tatsuki looked about ready to punch him now, just as his fingers twitched and something caught the light.

"Kaesuken."

The hollow barely had time to duck before the zanpakuto flew past, slashing into its side.

"...what is this_?_!" Grand Fisher shrieked as the silver wire wrapped around its arm. Uryuu twitched his fingers again, tugging on the zanpakuto and causing the wire to cut off the arm.

"It's simple... just another type of guided attack. Since I don't know what you're capable of, it's only natural that I try to avoid being hit." He adjusted his glasses, causing light to reflect off the lenses. "Now then... shall we do this again?"

Grand Fisher snarled. "Don't get cocky just because you got lucky once." The missing leg grew out once more from underneath the long fur, before the hollow moved forwards at lightning speed and lashed out with its regrown claws at Uryuu. He managed to dodge, but the tips of the claws extended and slashed his torso, causing him to stagger backwards.

"You idiot... you're not fighting this thing alone!" Tatsuki moved, lashing out in the general direction of Grand Fisher. A second away from impact, the hollow's fur grew out, wrapping itself around the girl.

Tatsuki promptly bit down on the creature. Apparently it still had nerves within its fur, given the way it shrieked.

"You little _bitch!_" Lashing out, Grand Fisher dashed her against the ground. When it came back up, her head was lolling, visibly unconscious.

_Dammit! I need to get her_ _from that creature! _He swung, changing the trajectory of the blade to slash through the fur, only to have a skinny tentacle snake out of Grand Fisher's head and wrap around the hilt as Tatsuki fell to the ground. The hollow pulled hard, leaving bloody lacerations on Uryuu's fingers, the wire coming free of his grip.

"Huh... that didn't take your fingers off? Pity... maybe I should've pulled harder. But at any rate... With these claws that can pierce anything, I can see into your heart! It's over now."

The figure of the little girl started shifting, twisting into a smaller one familiar to Uryuu.

"Onii-chan..."

"...Ichigo?" he whispered, disbelieving. _No... he... actually lost..._

"Uryuu, it's just a trick! Grand Fisher has been around for over 50 years... the shinigami have fought him several times – "

"Shut up!" With a flick, the zanpakuto was buried in Rukia's gut as she cried out.

The sound snapped Uryuu out of his induced reverie. He started to move towards her, before being stopped by the orange-haired child.

"Uryuu... what're you doing... didn't you promise you'd stay with me?" Wide-eyed, the child clung to his legs, stopping him from going any further.

_No, I can't... even shoot him. Not for their sakes. How pathetic..._

The hollow's claws swept down once more, resulting in a sickening sound as they met with flesh.

_...what?_

He looked up, the child letting go of him.

"Ichigo... you're alive?"

Ichigo spoke without turning around. "Uryuu. Get my sisters, Tatsuki and Kuchiki and get back."

"...Aizen-sama is displeased... with my work? I didn't need the backup from the likes of you - "

The full fury of Ichigo Kurosaki's untamed reiatsu settled down upon the area like the insurmountable pressure of an ocean, choking and suffocatingly dark. Uryuu managed to scramble backwards, grabbing Rukia as he went and dragging her with him.

"I'm not backup."

"...this... reiatsu..." Grand Fisher fell to its knees, crippled by the overwhelming reiatsu.

_They're having difficulty breathing... if Ichigo keeps this up for much longer, they might be crushed..._

The weight alleviated slightly. Ichigo's hand twitched slightly, and within a second the zanpakuto across his back was in his hand.

"Rankle the seas and the heavens, Nejibana."

Uryuu managed to pull enough reiatsu out of the air in order to create a platform once more, one capable of fitting Ichigo's younger siblings on as well as Tatsuki and Rukia. He checked the shinigami for a second; she was bleeding out from the wound in her stomach, but she would probably last a little longer. _Enough for proper medical treatment, as long as the zanpakuto isn't removed. I'll have to take her to Urahara-san; anyone else would ask awkward questions_.

The small lion plushie leapt on at the last minute as the platform took off, heading at breakneck speed for the Urahara Shoten.

He shuddered inwardly at the irrepressible sensation of _rage_ coming through the mental link, just before it shut down completely.

_I just hope he doesn't lose control..._

* * *

Grand Fisher screamed, body split in half as the force of the water tore him apart.

_I was surprised you wanted to help..._

_Hey, it's not as if I could just let my cute ex-subordinate die, right?_

Ichigo lowered the zanpakuto, allowing it to reseal again as rain began its gentle pitter-patter against his skin.

There was a slight sound behind him, a choked-off breath sucked in sharply as he turned around.

"...Kurosaki?"

"Ishida." Ichigo drew close to the boy's form, wrapping arms around him as the other let out a sigh.

"For a moment there... I thought..."

"It's alright." Ichigo's grip tightened somewhat.

"Uh... could you let go? It's... kind of uncomfortable with how much you're squeezing me right now..."

"Sure."

There was a snap.

Uryuu's face whitened as he backed off, cradling his now-broken arm. "You just... Kurosaki..."

"Save me the theatrics. The real thing would never wear such a ridiculous outfit. Oh, come _on_," he continued, glancing at the retreating imposter. "Have you _really_ never seen a Vasto Lorde before?"

The imposter grew even paler, if such a thing was possible, before falling to his knees under the renewed force of Ichigo's reiatsu, focused to a precisely-honed killing intent.

"You know, about six years ago, there was a kid and his mother. You ate her, I guess, but you left the boy." Ichigo reached down to pull the fake Uryuu upwards by his neck; he seemed barely conscious under the pressure. "I guess this is what they mean when they say the past comes back to haunt you or something..."

"...you can't kill me... like this..." rasped Grand Fisher.

The bone-like blades slid out of Ichigo's arms. "I'm a hollow. It's _always..._ just two steps away from attacking. And it's _very_ tempting to eat you like this."

With a blur of sudden movement, he lashed out, slicing into the abdomen before following up with a punishing blow to the ribcage. Blood started to stain the once-pristine cloth as Grand Fisher cried out.

"For intruding on something sacred..."

_You don't have to go this far -_

_Yes, I do. What would you do if someone attacked what you held precious, and then decided to wear its face?_

Kaien was silent at this, as Ichigo continued to tear into the other hollow, unrelenting as he reduced the creature in front of him to a bloody pulp, surgically shattering bones to inflict pain.

"...kill... me..."

He bent over, scooping up what had once held the form of a human body.

"I've got some questions for you first... before we do anything like _that_."

The air tore open as he stepped into the void between worlds once more.

* * *

"...I can't _believe_ you wiped my memories."

Tatsuki glowered at Uryuu. Both of them were currently at the Urahara Shoten whilst Rukia was being healed by Tessai. Karin and Yuzu had both been returned home after the incident, after Kisuke had given them a tea that would blur their memories of recent events. Kai had chosen to stay with his precious onee-chan in her time of need, although it might have been just an excuse because Uryuu and Tatsuki both scared him a little.

"Yes, well... it isn't really the sort of thing that most people would _want_ to remember," he replied tersely.

"That guy who walked into class with the orange hair..."

"That wasn't Kurosaki. They... Urahara-san can make fake bodies for the dead to use to interact with the living. Normally only the shinigami use them, but - "

"Shinigami?" she interrupted in a disbelieving tone of voice.

"Rukia Kuchiki is a shinigami. Since she temporarily lost her powers, she dumped all her duties on me. I am a Quincy, a particular type of person capable of seeing and fighting hollows, which are the natural enemy of shinigami. Do you understand?"

"It still sounds pretty unreal, to be honest. I mean, shinigami... gods of death..." Tatsuki shook her head slightly. "But then I wouldn't have believed you if you told me you could see ghosts a couple of months back, so I guess it isn't any more unbelievable than the afterlife being real."

"Anyway, that was a fake body, or gigai, that Urahara-san designed for Kurosaki to use. Except Kai was using it at the time."

"Kai... you mean that midget lion thing?"

Uryuu smiled slightly at the description. "Yes. I didn't really want to leave him to wreak havoc with that gigai."

Tatsuki contemplated this for a little while. "Well... thanks," she said, grudgingly, before pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Although if you try to use that goofy-looking memory modifier on me again, I _will_ kick you, hard. And you can forget about your Quincy or hollows or shinigami or whatever-it-was powers saving you. You're still a guy."

He winced. "Understood."

* * *

A bar of light illuminated the room as a door opened. Hiyosu swivelled around from his computer screen, irritated by the interruption to his work.

"Well?" he snapped at Rin, who stood nervously in the doorway, uncertain as to whether he was welcome or not.

"It's just... there was a purification using a registered zanpakuto..."

"This sort of thing happens all the time. Why did you think I needed to know just because some over-eager seated lunk in the 11th Division decided to go out on a hunting spree?"

"That wasn't... the purification took place in Hueco Mundo. There aren't any shinigami with registered zanpakuto in the region the souls came from."

"What! Do you have the coding for the zanpakuto involved?"

"Yes, but it wasn't on the standard database when I searched for it. I think it was..." He pulled a strip of paper out of his pocket. "Ah... E-146-delta?"

Hiyosu tapped out a long stream of commands into the computer. "Hmmm... all of the named zanpakuto with shikai release and upwards belonging to current seated officers are registered in that database... but we register anyone who achieves the shikai in the mainframe. Probably one of the expeditionary squads went astray or something - "

The computer chirruped as it came up with the result.

"Elemental type blade 146-delta, Nejibana, belonging to ex-fukutaichou Kaien Shiba - that can't possibly be right, he died years ago!"

"I'm sure I didn't make a mistake copying out the code, though."

"It's not as if there's such a thing as a dead zanpakuto wandering around without its owner, and he can't possibly have reincarnated and died already..."

"Hiyosu-san... do you think... maybe what happened 100 years ago might have - ?" Rin cut himself short; mentioning Kisuke Urahara was never a good idea in the 12th Division. One never knew when Mayuri Kurotsuchi was listening, and the man's hatred for the founder of the R&D Bureau was legendary.

"Well, at any rate, I'm sure this will prove to be interesting. If we triangulate Nejibana's reiatsu using the reference markers already gathered like _so_ - "

The computer churned away for a while, before spewing out a set of coordinates.

"This is... Karakura Town..."

* * *

**Quincy Encyclopaedia~**

Tenkuu no Suisei (天空 の 彗星): Heavenly Comet. (I considered calling this Earth-Shattering Divine Meteor, but that ended up being too many syllables to easily pronounce.) This is not an attack, but rather a technique. It is a variation of the typical Quincy Hirenkyaku, involving the solidification of reiatsu instead of merely using it to accelerate the body. The full Tenkuu no Suisei creates an aerodynamic casing of reiatsu, which can then be accelerated to high speeds and used as a mode of transport. Sections of the Tenkuu no Suisei may be used instead as a platform from which to stand on.

Kaesuken (返す剣): Returning Sword. By means of attaching a specially prepared silver wire to the hilt of the tanto, it is possible to channel reiatsu through the blade in a manner similar to Senhikou Bari - Housei Akuma. Doing so, the zanpakuto can be guided according to the wielder's will by means of the wire, even after it has left the hand. The wire itself can also be used to cut through flesh, if necessary, and if sufficient reiatsu is poured through it.

Mizukoware (水壊れ): Water Splitter (lit. breaking of water). Using Nejibana's ability of water control, the foe is attacked by the water, which may split the target in two by the force of the blow if sufficient power is behind it. Obviously this falls under the same limitations as most cutting attacks do, since the water is directed from outside and not within the target.


	16. Preventative Measures

**This time on TWIBW:** Tomfoolery, live broadcasting, hollows and explosions. (Oh my.)

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter is a lot lighter than the previous one. We won't be seeing anything quite as dark as that for a little while.  
Did you know that on Uryuu Ishida's page, it says that he enjoys watching Ghost Bust? (That made me laugh, actually, mainly because it just seems so absurd.)  
Also, a definition since not everyone ate the dictionary:

**ig·no·min·y (n.):**  
**1. **Great personal dishonor or humiliation.**  
2. **Shameful or disgraceful action, conduct, or character.

The science fiction aspect of the world 'alien' actually only came into common syntax quite recently... of course Rukia meant something completely different from Keigo. xD (Also, translate the word 'alien' into Japanese and then copypastatranslate back into English on Babelfish if you're feeling bored.)

* * *

"Uryuu! Hey, Uryuu!"

He sighed, shouldering his satchel into a slightly more comfortable position as he turned towards his exuberant friend.

"Are you going?" Keigo asked, sliding across the tiles before ending in a sort-of-pirouette in front of Uryuu's face.

"...going where?" _Am I missing something? I didn't think there were any extra classes or anything like that -_

Keigo fell to his knees, weeping as he grabbed at Uryuu's trousers. "How can you not know! Are you not a man? Where the hell have you _been?_! It's the event of the century! Ghost Bust is coming to Karakura Town, if you don't turn up you'll forever be known as the guy who didn't watch it! How can you _never_ have heard of Ghost Bust-"

"I have heard of it," interrupted Uryuu. "I just don't watch television."

His friend gave a melodramatic gasp, clutching his throat. "How can you not watch television!"

_...I don't have a TV license_ _because I live more or less on my own, apart from Kuchiki and Ichigo who don't care about those things, and I've never seen the point of paying an exorbitant fee since I can always check the news and weather forecast on the internet?_

"Very easily," was the answer he eventually settled with. "At any rate, I'm not coming."

"C'mon, you've got to go... Get out of your stuffy apartment and come with us! Have some fun!" Keigo got up, yanking a surprised Mizuiro from his position in the doorway. "Hey, you've got to do the pose with me for him, since he doesn't - "

With a manic grin on his face, Keigo folded his arms across his chest. Mizuiro quickly followed suit.

"Bohahahaha!"

"Bohahahaha!"

_...why am I stuck with such moronic idiots, and how did I even manage to make friends with them in the first place?_

_Aw, c'mon... they aren't _that_ bad, Uryuu. _There was a slight teasing note to the hollow's mental voice, something that made him relax slightly. _Besides, would you rather have let them get beaten up or something?_

_Kurosaki. You're back in contact. _Uryuu gave a mental sigh of relief at the voice.

_Of course I'm back! Oh, and by the way..._

Uryuu waited tentatively for his friend's words of wisdom to come through the mental link.

_Bohahahaha!_

The corner of Uryuu's eye twitched.

* * *

"Bohahahaha!"

_Oh dear god spare me now._

Rukia Kuchiki stood in front of him with a massive grin on her face.

"See? Even Kuchiki-chan will be coming!" Keigo clapped a hand forcefully on her back.

"...is this standard procedure?"

"What? Ah... yes, I forgot that Kuchiki-chan is an alien studying our customs - "

Uryuu spluttered at this.

"I see... then I will reciprocate!" She pounded him on the back, hard, causing Keigo to stagger and fall over.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Uryuu muttered under his breath.

Keigo got back up. "Kuchiki-chan... you're not supposed to hit so hard..."

"Ah... I'm sorry, do you want me to try again to get it right? I'm certain I've got the hang of it now!"

"No, no, it's fine!" Keigo cut in hastily, brushing himself down. "Don't mind me... you didn't break my back or anything..."

Rukia turned back to Uryuu again. "The thing is... he's right... you've got to relax a little, Uryuu! It's a festival, you might as well unwind a little since you work so hard..."

"_Fine_. Just to spare myself from suffering the sight of _that_ particular ignominy again."

"Uryuu... why must you use such long words that nobody understands..."

"It's embarrassing," he clarified.

"Then why didn't you just say that in the first - HEY! It is _not_ embarrassing! Right, Kuchiki-chan? Right, Mizuiro - hey, Miz, where're you going_?_!"

"We're going to be late for class if you don't hurry up, Asano-san..."

"It's _Keigo - _"

* * *

"Bohahahaha!"

Orihime beamed at him, her smile lighting up the room as she did The Pose. The expression quickly faded as she looked at Uryuu properly.

"Ah... could it be... Ishida-kun doesn't know about this?"

"It's Ghost Bust... right..." he muttered, giving up on all pretense of avoiding the thing.

"Yes! Now let's try for a double combo, Ishida-kun! Bohaha-"

"Yeah, bohaha is coming with me now." Tatsuki dragged her friend off, glancing back at Uryuu who threw a grateful look in her direction. "We've got karate club, remember?"

* * *

"Bohahahaha!"

"Bohahahaha!"

"..."

_...they even got Sado-san to do the pose... is nothing sacred any more?_

"Bohaha-"

"I already _said_ I'm coming, alright? That doesn't mean I have to suffer this... this..." Uryuu gesticulated at nothing in particular, before slumping over onto his desk.

_Ugh._

"I blame Keigo for this insanity," he muttered, voice muffled somewhat by the desk.

"Yes!" Keigo did a little dance on the spot. "You remembered my first name! We're finally making progress!"

Uryuu lifted his head back off the desk, glaring balefully at Keigo. "Congratulations. Would you please stop harrassing me now?"

"So scary... did he get up on the wrong side of bed this morning..." Keigo stage-whispered to Mizuiro.

Rukia blinked. "Which side was the wrong side? It's not like you can get out of his bed from any other side, it's right up against the wall, so unless he made a hole in the wall of his apartment last night and I didn't notice..."

There was a stunned silence at this.

"Oh my god they're ACTUALLY dating and they never told _me?_!" Keigo wailed, as Mizuiro pulled his phone out of his pocket and started texting rapidly.

"You're _not_ sending that round school. Besides, we're not dating - "

"How come she's seen your bedroom then?" Keigo challenged Uryuu, pointing an accusatory finger at the Quincy.

"Well... the thing is..." he began, before being interrupted by Rukia.

"I was having difficulty in finding appropriate accomodation... and since Ishida-san was the only one I felt comfortable with as an foreign student, he was kind enough to permit me lodgings with him for the time being whilst I arrange things."

_...you're making it worse... all you're going to do is spur on his conspiracy theories now._

"I see... in that case... Uryuu, I never knew you were into that sort of thing..."

Keigo shook his head sorrowfully as Rukia blinked, utterly bewildered before apparently cottoning on to what they were talking about.

"Uryuu would _never_ ruin me for marriage in such an uncouth way!" she declared, before stopping at the repeated '_donk, donk, donk_' which was Uryuu's head hitting the desk.

"Do you suppose it's too late for me to transfer?"

"Probably, Ishida-san," Mizuiro replied quite cheerfully.

_With friends like these, who needs enemies?_

* * *

"So... I guess this is where they're filming it, huh?"

Tatsuki and Uryuu stared at the abandoned hospital. It didn't look particularly prepossessing, but then things like that hardly ever did. There was a camera crew there already, unfortunately, making preparations for the show the next day.

"Apparently so."

"You think there's really a ghost around this place?" Tatsuki asked, raising an eyebrow at Uryuu and Rukia.

"Maybe," he replied absentmindedly. "Of course, it could all be a massive hoax, but I suppose it never hurts to be prepared in advance..."

"Hmm..." Rukia muttered, still looking down at her hollow detector. "At any rate there isn't anything that I'm picking up, although if there's an earthbound spirit or something similar its reiatsu would be naturally masked as it is. The only time they're perceptible is when - "

One of the crew approached the building itself, lugging an oversized spotlight. Suddenly, a figure twisted upwards out of the concrete, as a long chain materialized around the building to end in the person's chest.

"Don't come any closer! I won't let you enter without paying a fee!" the spirit yelled, flecks of spittle flying fron his mouth.

The human, of course, was completely oblivious to this display, walking straight through without noticing he had even done so.

" - a human encroaches upon its territory," Rukia finished.

"Okay, there's definitely a ghost. So... what do you do now? Fight it or something?" Tatsuki asked curiously.

"It's not a hollow yet, so it should be fairly simple. All we need to do is separate those chains somehow and then perform a konso," Rukia replied. "Although... persuading him to leave so we can get him free of the building might be a bit difficult..."

"Damn you! This place should have been mine! I could have lived the high life like a sultan if they'd passed this place onto me instead of my idiot of a younger brother!"

"Are they all this irritating?" she asked in a conversational tone of voice.

"Worse, sometimes." Uryuu twitched slightly at the memory of one particularly perseverant lech that he'd had the misfortune to encounter. "Although not usually. They used to be living humans, so it's at about the same level. We're going to have to get the spirit to move, though. Either that or distract the people setting up somehow," he added offhandedly.

"If only I had my full shinigami powers back..." Rukia sighed.

"What happened to them in the first place?" Tatsuki asked, one eyebrow raised. "It's not like that's something you can just _lose._"

"Well... there was a hollow that drained my abilities." She shifted, slightly uncomfortable with the subject. "And they still haven't returned. Although by now, I should at least be able to leave the gigai and take that form again..."

Uryuu frowned, watching the workmen carrying their lighting equipment into the building, unaware of the ghost raving at them. "It'll be problematic if someone would happen to spot the zanpakuto... but still... I think I have a plan."

* * *

"...I'm going to kill you for this later, Uryuu."

"_I think Ichigo would probably get a bit upset by that._.. _although he might appreciate the extra company, I suppose._"

"Fine," Tatsuki grumbled, calming down. "But you're definitely not getting away with this. Especially after all _this_." She gestured at her current attire, belatedly realising that her mobile phone was incapable of taking video.

"_It suits you._"

"Why do I have to wear something so patently ridiculous as a sailor fuku outfit, anyway? I don't see why Kuchiki can't do something like this."

"_We've gone through this... just stick to the plan and everything will be fine. Besides, you _did_ insist on getting involved the next time __something like this came up._" The reproachful tone in his voice was just audible over the slight interference. "_Are you ready?_"

"Yeah," she muttered, scowling.

"_Good. Let's go._"

_...why did he have to insist on this, though... oh well... He better be grateful.  
_

Shifting her facial expression to a more appropriately studious one, she walked up to the unsuspecting workforce.

"Sir? Is this the site where the 'Ghost Bust' filming will be taking place? Only since I'm a student of media studies, I thought I might be able to ask you some questions."

One of the men turned towards her. "Look, missy, I know you're all excited and everything, but we're busy right now."

"I just wanted to ask a few questions with regards to the various special effects used in the show, I promise I won't take long - "

"Look, kid." He leaned over, something that Tatsuki found particularly obnoxious. "Some of us are working right now, and this place ain't safe for kids to be just wandering around. Buzz off."

She glowered at him as he went back to the van. It was_ very_ tempting to just kick his ass, and she was pretty sure that would count as a 'sufficient distraction', but there was no way in hell she was going to get caught for something so _stupid._

Tatsuki retrieved her mobile once again, dialling Uryuu's number. He picked up almost immediately; she couldn't see him anywhere near the ghost. Evidently he hadn't made a move yet.

"_What happened?_"

"He's an asshole who doesn't want to answer my questions."

"_...ah._" The phone was quiet for a moment. "_I suppose I will have to try different tactics then. If you'll move back please - _"

"What are you going to do?" she asked suspiciously, just before her thoughts were interrupted by a loud explosion out of sight.

_What the hell?_!

"You moron, Ishida! What did you just do? Blow up the building or something? There were people inside! And where the hell did you get explosives from anyway?"

"_It was a flour bomb. And don't give me that, Kuchiki_-_san was the one who used it. Not to mention I made sure it wasn't a size that would be lethal._"

"...you're a terrible influence."

"_Who, me? I'm a model student._"

"Pyro," she retorted as the workmen scrambled out of the building to evaluate the damage. "Anyway, they're all coming out now. I think it'll be clear in a few minutes."

"_Good. We're going in._"

"Hey, you!"

One of the workers suddenly noticed Tatsuki, rounding on her. He looked extremely pissed by the interruption.

"Did _you _do this?"

"_Arisawa-san?_"

"Actually, I think it might definitely have been some manifestation of a poltergeist."

He raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "You expect me to buy that bullshit expectation?"

"Shit, gotta go," she said, before hanging up on Uryuu as she set off at a sprint.

_How the hell did I get into this again... oh, right, I asked him to drag me along, didn't I?_

"Hey, you! Come back here!"

_Diversion successful... even if it wasn't quite what I was hoping for._

* * *

Uryuu sighed as he heard the click on the other end of the line.

_Oh well. I suppose it'll have to do._

He wasn't _entirely_ sure about giving Rukia a bag of flour and instructing her to lob it through a broken window along with a hado #33: Sokatsui, but he supposed if it worked... besides, he'd made sure that nobody was in that section of the building at the time. The blast, whilst enough to rattle eardrums and blow out windows, was still insufficient to cause structural damage, so it wasn't as if there was any _real _harm done, right?

_...right?_

_Mizuiro's rubbing off on you too much, I think._

_Shush. I wasn't asking for your opinion. I was attempting to have a very deep moment of introspection_ _before you interrupted it._

He approached the spirit, who was currently eyeing him suspiciously.

"What do you want?"

"I'm here to send you to heaven." _Well, Soul Society, but it's about the same... right?_

"Really? Will there be pink Cadillacs and pink champagne as befits a man of my stature in life?" The spirit preened somewhat at this.

"Yes." _Anything to get this guy out of the way._

"Yes! Finally there will be justice for my life!" The man stood up, chains loosening from around the building somewhat.

"Only," Uryuu pointed, "you're going to have to leave that building behind."

"Oh." The spirit slumped slightly, before straightening up again. "I suppose it won't be _too_ bad. Just make sure my idiot of a little brother doesn't let the whole thing get _completely_ ruined..."

Uryuu politely refrained from pointing out that the hospital was completely derelict, instead choosing to draw the zapakuto from his satchel. The chains unwound, shrinking back to a fairly short length protruding from the spirit's chest.

"Hey, what're you going to do with that knife - "

_Thunk._

A black butterfly took off in a hurry as he replaced the zanpakuto in its hiding spot.

His phone started vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out, he noticed the caller ID: Tatsuki Arisawa.

"Yes?"

"_I hope you're done by now._" Tatsuki sounded distinctly out of breath. "_Those guys who were working in the building got the impression that_ I_ lobbed _your_ bomb into the hospital._"

He winced. "Right. Sorry about that, but it was the only distraction I could come up with on the spot."

"_Why the hell did you even have flour on you in the first place_?"

"Home Economics_._"

"_We don't have Home Economics today._"

"I was bringing the ingredients in advance. I like being prepared."

"Uryuu!" Rukia waved, waiting at the driveway to the hospital car park. "Is it done?"

"Yes. Where are you, Arisawa-san?"

"_Taking the back route. I'll meet you back at school tomorrow, I've lost them all so it's fine. See you._"

_Why do I get the sense that she's going to kill me when I see her again?_

* * *

_"So... what's going to happen at this spirits show if there isn't a spirit there?"_


	17. Spirits Are Always

**This time on TWIBW:** Ichigo goes into show business. :B

* * *

**A/N: **You didn't think it would be that simple, did you? Also, Ulquiorra did _not _make his super epic debut in this chapter. Just to make it, y'know, official.  
What are friends for except to take the piss out of you when you screw up... Wait, what d'you mean, those aren't friends? ;o;

* * *

Szayel glowered at the report.

According to the data transmitted by bacteria that had been injected into Grand Fisher's body before his fateful mission, the hollow had encountered a significant spiritual pressure. Unfortunately, the main body was all that had been colonized by the bacteria, and it had been destroyed completely before any significant data could be gathered. Compounded with the fact that the Quincy had not even displayed a large number of abilities in the process, that there was disappointingly inconclusive information on that human that had attempted to attack Grand Fisher and it was no wonder why his mood was particularly sour.

Aizen Sosuke did not take particularly well to failure, even if that failure was from a scientist, and _especially _if that failure was from some member of the numeros. Szayel was acutely aware of the fact that he was not completely irreplaceable... yet.

_Cause of death: Purification by zanpakuto _was what the bacteria colony had registered before its host had been destroyed.

_Well then... I suppose I will simply have to send in something expendable again. Dispatching a Menos-class hollow or an arrancar would be foolish in the extreme, unless I concealed their reiatsu in some way... that will have to be the backup plan._

"Szayel, huh? Who would've known that you'd be a geek like this after they took your mask off?"

Nnoitra leered at him from the doorway as Szayel sighed, turning to face his superior. Tesla hung deferentially behind his master's shoulder.

"Jiruga-san. What do you want?"

"Heeeh... something that'll give an opening in a fight. Who knows, you might even benefit from it as well?"

Szayel frowned slightly. _What could he possibly want with something like that? He lives for battle in brute strength, not cunning._

"I'm listening."

* * *

It seemed like half the region had turned up to the Ghost Bust Live special. Uryuu could spot Isshin, Yuzu and Karin; the former was wearing a particularly ridiculous outfit that Don Kanonji himself would have been proud of. There was also a brief flash of silver-white hair that Uryuu desperately hoped did _not_ indicate Ryuuken's presence.

_Not that he would come to such a thing, right?_

"Ah... there's Sado-san."

Sado, of course, loomed head and shoulder over the rest of the crowd, so Uryuu aimed for him and hoped for the best with regards to finding his other friends.

"Hmm... this thing looks popular. Who would have thought so many people would turn up to a show about dead people?" commented Rukia, as she slipped through the crowd with Uryuu. People were giving Sado a slightly wider berth, but the free space near him was already partly occupied by Keigo and Mizuiro.

"You came!" Keigo cried out jubilantly. "And with the lovely Kuchiki-chan, too!"

"Obviously I came," grumbled Uryuu. "You harped on about this for long enough, and then you insisted on turning up at my apartment."

"Whatever." He waved his hand dismissively, before something caught his attention. "Hey, who's that guy over there? Isn't that - "

A flash of orange caused Uryuu to freeze.

_Oh __HELL no._

"Uryuu!"

A beaming Ichigo Kurosaki made his way over through the crowd.

_Shit shit shit shit - why the hell did you have to turn up here of all places?_! _This is in public! There are people who will _recognise _you here!_

"Ah, don't be such a spoilsport, Uryuu~" he replied in a singsong voice, one arm casually slung over Uryuu's shoulder in an instant as the other frantically struggled to get it off. "What, can't I come out every now and then?"

"A-ah... aren't you..." stammered Keigo, gaze flicking back and forth between the two teenagers.

"I'm Ichigo Kurosaki." Said disguised hollow gave Keigo a wide grin.

"Really?" Mizuiro asked curiously, paying closer attention now. "You're not related to that Kaizo person who came into class last week, are you?"

"Ah... you must be talking about my idiot cousin. He's a bit of a pervert, to be honest," Ichigo declared in an airy tone of voice whilst tightening his grip around Uryuu's neck.

Sado blinked. "You know Uryuu?"

"Yes, we're old acquaintances, actually."

"Uh... I think you're choking him..." Rukia pointed out weakly.

"...shit. Sorry." Ichigo hastily released his now red-faced friend, who slid to the floor, glowering as he regained his breath.

"Why did you come here in the first place?"

"Come on... I had to come see you out in public _some _time, right? It'll be fine! Anyway, when's this thing going to start?"

There was a buzzing overhead as a helicopter approached.

"Quiet down, please! Broadcasting in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..." a voice announced over a PA system.

"Good evening! Tonight we have the special emergency 'Ghost Bust' broadcast in an abandoned hospital in Karakura Town, Tokyo! They say that night after night, the cries of a restless spirit can be heard echoing around, and good citizens do not go near the hospital... Surely that man will cook up something for us tonight. And here he comes! The man himself, that charismatic spirit medium and messenger of Hell... give a big hand for Don Kanonji!"

"How's it going, babes?"

A small speck detached from the helicopter, approaching rapidly.

"Spirits! Are! Always! With! YOUUUU!"

With the last word, a parachute flared open, slowing down Don Kanonji's descent as he folded his arms across his chest. The crowd went wild, joining in with his pose and trademark phrase.

"BOHAHAHAHA!"

Uryuu grimaced, just as the crowd surged forwards, cheering loudly. Unfortunately, this meant that he got separated from everyone else quite quickly. Lost, he attempted to slip back through the scrum, only to be elbowed aside by people jostling to get in the front until he ended up stumbling into the railings, knocking them over in the process.

He looked up just as Don Kanonji landed in front of him with a thump.

* * *

"...hey, where'd Uryuu go?" Keigo asked, suddenly realizing his absence.

"Maybe he went for a better view?" Mizuiro suggested, just before the camera feeding the projector suddenly switched, giving a glimpse of Uryuu at the front of the crowd. "See, there he is. He's probably just ashamed to admit he's into that sort of thing."

"...I don't think that's it..." Sado muttered.

"Well, you've got to say that was definitely a superb entrance, right?"

"Yes, Kuchiki-san... if I were ever to have my own TV show I'd definitely - wait, he's at the _front?_! That lucky bastard!"

* * *

"Hmm... so Ishida-kun came after all? I didn't think he'd like that sort of thing much..."

"What?" Tatsuki asked, startled as her friend pointed to the projector screen. "Oh... knowing him, that idiot probably let himself get dragged here or something like that. Knowing Asano..."

"_What a suitably gorgeous way to make an entrance into the special!"_

"_Why... yes... but here, the smell of bad spirits is particularly strong..."_

_At least Uryuu cleared up that ghost that was hanging around earlier. There's nothing that can go wrong. Right?_

* * *

_...this cannot possibly get any worse._

Uryuu decided that he would definitely purchase a good-luck charm the next time he saw the opportunity, even if it meant going to the idiot Urahara-san's shop for something that actually worked.

"This certainly smells like bad spirits!"

_This guy is way too close for my liking. I'd better get back behind the barriers before there's any trouble - _

And then the air started trembling with the sensations of a garganta. A bat-winged hollow swooped out from the tear in the sky, perching on the top of the building as Don Kanonji swept his cloak aside and produced a long staff from underneath it.

_Okay, whatever deity exists definitely hates me._

"Ah... there is a truly terrible monster approaching... You fiend! I, the charismatic spirits medium of the new century, Don Kanonji, will be your opponent - "

"Are you trying to get yourself_ killed, _you_ moron?_!"

Utter silence.

_ohshitIsaidthatoutloud._

Out of the corner of his eye, Uryuu realized that his face was, in fact, visible on camera.

_My perfect reputation is ruined... this will be all over the country..._

"You, boy... you can also see the bad spirit..."

And, over in the corner, some burly-looking men who looked distinctly like they wanted to have a word with him, making their way in his direction. Not to mention that most of the crowd didn't look too happy either.

_OH HELL NO._

Uryuu used Hirenkyaku to bridge the gap from the ground to the inside of the hospital where nobody could see him.

_That's it... my life is over... I bet even Ryuuken saw that. How am I going to show my face at school tomorrow?_

* * *

"Shit, what the hell just happened to Ishida_?_! Did that creature steal him away or something? What're we going to do!"

"Calm down, Asano-san. It's not like there's anything we can do to help like this..."

Sado's eyes searched the crowd. "I can't see him here." _Maybe he got away somehow? Although... that thing on the rooftop I can just about make out seems... ominous._

A screech cut the air, causing everyone currently there to flinch.

"What the hell was that noise? Feedback or something?" Keigo turned to Rukia for some source of comfort, only to discover her absence. "Eeeh? Kuchiki-san's gone? And so's Ichigo!"

"It's probably because they've decided we're not cool enough any more."

"Mizuiro... how can you say such things..."

* * *

Rukia tried to fight her way to the front of the crowd.

"Hey! What d'you think you're doing?" shouted someone angrily as she made a run past the collapsed barriers. "Security!"

And suddenly she was mobbed by people pulling her away from the building.

_Dammit! How am I supposed to get to Uryuu to help him now?_!

* * *

"Ishida-kun... suddenly vanished? Ah... this must be because of his secret part-time job as a ninja!"

"...yeah, let's just go with that for now."

"Although... Ishida-kun... that man said he could see something on the roof... and there's that noise I heard, like a scream..."

Tatsuki's eyes narrowed at the sight of the creature squatted on the roof of the hospital. "It's nothing."

Orihime turned to look at her friend. "Tatsuki-chan... you don't believe in ghosts?"

"Of course not!"

_After all... how can you believe in something if you already know it exists?_

The blurred creature leapt down onto the concrete with another high-pitched shriek, cracking it.

"That noise... Komura-kun? What are you doing here?"

_Huh?_

The orange-haired teenager who had interrupted their class the previous week was, indeed, standing next to them, a nervous expression on his face and a limp plush lion dangling from one hand.

"That guy told me to find someone while he's busy... he scares me... not to mention he lives with that demon - "

"Wait, you talked to Uryuu?"

"Huh? No! It's just... Ichigo sent me actually and then he dumped me here on my own." Kaizo slumped at this, before perking up at the sight of Orihime. "But on the other hand... nothing will part me from my fair and radiant goddess of the _oof._"

The mod soul fell to his knees as Tatsuki's leg returned to its previous position.

"I regret... _nothing_..." he whimpered.

"Uh... Tatsuki-chan, I'm sure it was absolutely fine - "

"He would have ruined your innocence."

"I would have done no such thi-!" Kai quickly cut himself off at the sight of Tatsuki's face. "Okay, shutting up now."

* * *

The hollow looked around.

There were a _lot_ of souls. They stank of excitement and fear. And then there were more intriguing reiatsu signatures, appetizing ones that were human and also something else. There was the delectable fragrance of shinigami, too, buried somewhere in the crowd, and the man standing in front of it smelled more powerful than the normal as well. But then there was something uniquely attractive behind it, alluringly powerful, twisted and human all at once.

It turned from the human in front of it. It could search through the crowd for the others later. Besides, it wasn't as if the others seemed to be going anywhere -

Just for a fraction of a second, there was a brush of something intensely vast and terrifying against the hollow's senses, causing it to recoil briefly before attempting to seek out the sensation again.

...No. It was gone now.

The hollow turned back towards the first part of its meal, fear forgotten once more.

* * *

There was a crash. Uryuu flinched instinctively as the concrete floor shattered ten feet away from him, drawing out the asauchi. One claw gripped the edge of the hole as the hollow awkwardly levered itself through, long white snout pointed in his direction.

_Well... I suppose at least it came after me and not any of the other people._

The hollow shrieked, the noise bouncing off the bare concrete walls and shattering the remaining intact windows as Uryuu clamped his hands over his ears.

_That sound hurts - given that it broke the glass, it's probably not going to do much good to my body either at that high frequency. I suppose bats do use echolocation techniques..._

"You, boy! Do not fear! I, the great spiritual medium of the decade, Don Kanonji, am here to rescue you from this monster!"

Uryuu turned to stare at the flamboyantly-clad figure of his self-proclaimed saviour.

"I was doing just fine before you came along!"

"You no longer need to worry yourself..." Suddenly the man was in front of him, Spirit Stick pointed dramatically towards the beast. "Even with a strange creature such as this that I have never previously encountered, I shall defeat it for you!"

"...it's a hollow." _Has he seriously never seen one before?_ "It's just a different type of spirit."

"A different type of spirit?" Don Kanonji turned towards him, frowning. "You have seen these creatures before?"

"They're what you get when the Chain of Fate comes free..."

_Augh. This man is worse than useless._

The batlike hollow had extricated itself completely, crouching in the hallway in front of them with its head cocked slightly to one side.

_I wonder if it can understand us? Normally it's only the ones that have died recently or have a lot of power that can speak coherently, but..._

"_Food!_"

_Okay, scratch that._

Wings unfurled, knocking down part of the walls as the hollow leapt towards them. Uryuu hurled the tanto, reiatsu twisting down the wire and into the blade as it sang through the air before being rudely interrupted by a certain infamous spirit medium's stick, wrapping around it.

He tugged dumbly on the end of the wire.

_You have _got_ to be kidding me._

"Give me that ba - " Uryuu stopped himself midsentence, choosing instead to yank Don Kanonji out of the path of the hollow. The thing came screeching to a halt, clawed wings digging into the tiles as it turned around. It was ungainly in such cramped quarters, knocking half the walls down as it went.

_At this rate, the building is liable to collapse..._

"Boy..."

"Shut up. It'd be more problematic if you died here." Uryuu pulled the staff out of Don Kanonji's hand in a frantic attempt to unwrap the wire from it.

"Then allow me to call you my battle buddy!" Don Kanonji entered a dramatic pose, as a sphere of light resolved itself just before the palm of his hand. "Take this! Kanonji Style Final Ultimate Technique: Kanon Ball!"

It shot out towards the hollow at a leisurely pace. The hollow seemed more bemused than anything else by the entire thing, up until the point where it impacted with the mask and blew it back a good fifteen feet through the wall.

Uryuu finally managed to untangle the damn wire from the zanpakuto, before throwing it again. The blade arced gracefully towards the hollow's mask, slicing neatly through it as it flailed, smashing more of the building's walls and something that looked suspiciously like a vital support.

The form disintegrated to reveal the human within, just before it vanished, a butterfly taking flight from where the spirit had lain.

"What was that..."

Suddenly, the building creaked ominously.

_Shit! I went through all of this and I'm going to die because of structural failure in an abandoned building?_

The ceiling caved in, showering rubble everywhere as the hospital finally gave up the ghost.

Uryuu closed his eyes, feeling the breeze against his face -

_Wait, breeze?_

One eyelid cracked open again. He was currently being carried bridal-style, something that he might have objected more loudly to were it not for the fact that he would have otherwise been several feet under.

Ichigo released Don Kanonji, who was casually slung over one shoulder, before letting Uryuu down on the top of the rubble. The crowd was still there, although they had retreated back somewhat from the building. There was a sobbing lady who seemed to be upset at the apparent death of her idol.

"Yo," Ichigo said cheerfully. "Was a bit worried about you getting buried like that, so I pulled you out with the other guy. You don't need to worry about the asauchi, by the way, I rescued that too."

"You... are another of the same type of spirit?"

"Yeah. I'm his fairy godmother or something like that."

"I see... you were once an evil spirit that has renounced the ways of destruction and has moved onwards for the sake of a single human..."

_...uh, Uryuu, this guy knows about hollows and stuff, right?_

_Not really. I think it's probably best if you just go with it._

"And Don Kanonji has reappeared once more! Apparently the destruction of the evil spirit inhabiting the hospital had resulted in the collapse of the building, only for Don Kanonji to be rescued by a benevolent force! Not only this, but he has also rescued a victim of the evil spirit!"

"Shouldn't you say something to them now?"

"Yes... battle buddy... that is... Mission Successful! Bohahahaha!"

"BOHAHAHAHA!"

_...Ichigo?_

_Yes?_

_Please stop that ridiculous pose._

* * *

Tatsuki stared at the figure standing next to Uryuu and Don Kanonji atop the rubble.

_Uryuu said Ichigo turned into a hollow... but he doesn't feel anything like the Grand Fisher that I met before._

"Who's that standing next to Ishida-kun?"

"Huh?" she asked, startled.

"I can see someone there with Kanonji-san, but it's a bit hard to make out from this distance..."

_Orihime can see him too... Well, I suppose both of us ran into the hollow that was originally her brother. Maybe that has something to do with it?_

"I'm certain it's nothing! Nothing at all!" exclaimed Kai frantically.

* * *

Mizuiro frowned thoughtfully at the image on the projector screen. It had managed to escape mostly unscathed by the collapse of the building, but that was not what was currently interesting him. There was definitely a third figure there, with what was certainly Uryuu and the medium Don Kanonji. Except that the figure didn't quite seem to be human.

_It's probably an optical illusion. After all, this _is_ meant to be a spirit show. That sort of thing would be expected._

Nonetheless, he still couldn't shake off the feeling that it was considerably more than it seemed to be...

"Hey, isn't that Kuchiki-san at the side? Buried under all the guards?"

Keigo's voice snapped him out of his reverie. He looked to where the brunette was currently pointing; there, indeed, was Rukia Kuchiki, just about distinguishable by her hair, and dogpiled by several guards who were attempting to restrain her.

"...we'd better help out..."

"You're right. It would be a shame if the lovely Kuchiki-chan was suffocated. Maybe we can reason with them..."

* * *

_"Ryuu-kun!~"_

_"What."_

_"Your son is famous! See, I even managed to get a video recording of him on TV, look?"_

_"..."_

* * *

**Quincy Encyclopaedia...**

Kanakirigoe (金切り声): Shatter Scream (lit. Metal Sawing Voice). Releases a blast of ordinary sound combined with a pulse of ultrasonic waves which are at sufficiently high frequencies to shatter glass. Close proximity to the origin of this attack may result in burst eardrums or destroyed auditory canals if unfortunate; sufficient distance or protection from the noise will render the target disorientated as opposed to incapacitated. May be nullified completely by any technique that generates a vacuum.


	18. A Peaceful Interlude

**This time on TWIBW:** A gentle interlude, perhaps? (Delayed slightly from the expected post time.)

* * *

**A/N: **...Chapter 475 just made me rage so damn hard it's unbelievable. Seriously, are they handing those things out like it's candy now? (/totalhypocrite)  
Also,_ Uryuu Ishida Solution: Bullshit as you've never bullshitted before! _*epic pose*  
(Ichigo Kurosaki Solution: Beat the shit out of it, ask questions later if there's anything left.)

FF dot net won't let my reply to reviews for some reason... bluh.

Yeah, having a cheerful Ichigo is somehow intensely creepy. I suspect that social development is cut short when someone dies, and since he was only a child when he died and still had his relatively happy-go-lucky attitude at the time, something of that has carried over into his death. (To be frank, it disturbs me as well. I never _originally_ intended for the story to turn out like this, tbh.)

Ichigo's dad is not currently aware of the situation. Ryuuken might have informed him of his son's attachment to Ichigo initially had he not been trying to keep as far away as possible from anything to do with death, and both of them have been respecting this distance. Isshin is still regaining his powers (I don't think they had completed by the time Rukia comes into Ichigo's life at the start of the story, or he might have done something against the hollow rather than potentially let his son die, but I might be wrong).

As for everyone else's abilities, Ichigo's reiatsu is nowhere near as intense as it was, but it is still diffuse about the town and therefore still affecting people. It's also been around a lot longer. In addition to this, Uryuu has been playing at shinigami, and of course, not being the stamina freak that Ichigo is, he needs to raise his reiatsu temporarily to fight, exposing his friends to it. So people _have_ been seeing 'ghost images', but those have not started resolving until relatively recently.

Finally, I've considered writing the dark mirror reflection to this piece. It'll probably be a oneshot.

* * *

"I can't _believe_ this!"

Uryuu twitched slightly.

There had been inevitable Repercussions to being caught on camera, with a capital R. The primary one being what he was currently going through. Fortunately he was not the _sole_ target of ire, or, for that matter, even the primary one, due to the fact that Rukia Kuchiki had managed to recklessly charge in and get herself buried under several guards.

"You were on national television! This image was broadcasted around the country!" raged Kagine as he gestured at the photograph currently up on the projector. "Are you aware of the infamy you brought upon this school?

_I suppose it could always be worse..._

"S-sir... I don't understand why we were brought in, too..." muttered Keigo.

"Did you or did you not invite Kuchiki-san to the event? Besides, you should have taken measures as a fellow student!"

_...this is getting ridiculous. If I don't do something right now, this entire matter will get out of hand._

"I apologise," Uryuu spoke up. "In truth, I brought Kuchiki-san there with one of my childhood friends whom I had not socialized with for a considerable amount of time. In my desire to catch up with various matters, I was separated from her, causing her a considerable amount of concern and meaning that she went to look for me." He adjusted his glasses. "As a result, it is only natural that the blame fall to myself for being a poorer host than I had originally intended and causing her distress which resulted in the unfortunate incident. She was merely concerned for my own sake."

Kagine gaped as Rukia Kuchiki bowed her head in a repentant manner.

"Yes... well... that all seems to be pretty much in order... of course it's not your fault as such an exemplary student, you couldn't possibly be expected to account for the poor behaviour of an exchange student - "

"I take it the matter can be resolved, then?"

"Yes, yes, that's perfectly fine... you can all go..." Kagine blinked as the students all filed demurely out of the room, before his brain caught up with what had actually just happened and what he had just said. "Wait! You! Come back here! We weren't done yet! There's still the matter of your punishme - "

"You shouldn't work yourself up so much about something like that. You'll give yourself a heart attack." Ochi-sensei turned a page of her book, completely disinterested in the whole matter as her coworker raged. The principal gave a longing glance at the projector.

"Do you suppose I could get a copy of that video for my grandchildren?"

* * *

Hiyosu sighed. There had been a considerable amount of feedback coming through on the zanpakuto that he'd been interested in, but now the entire thing was out of his hands.

It wasn't a commonly known fact that all official zanpakuto, including asauchi for use by those who have not acheived their shikai, had a particular type of seal on them which permits the wielder to be tracked within certain circumstances, whilst registering any reiatsu fluctuations. However, if one ever happened to think about it, it would seem perfectly obvious to even the most idiotic dolts of the Eleventh - _well, perhaps not _quite_ that far, but any reasonably intelligent shinigami, _thought Hiyosu - that a zanpakuto of a dead person could not simply be allowed to be lost.

After all, there was so much that could be done with such a thing. It was potentially possible to recreate the abilities of a zanpakuto with the dead blade, or even create a clone of a particular soul. There was a _reason_ why dead zanpakuto were stored away safely. Eventually, perhaps, they would reappear with their wielders, wiped free of past memories, but until that time they were kept away from tampering... or at least, kept away from any tampering outside that of the Scientific Research Bureau. Any zanpakuto that was outside their hands was a major concern, particularly since that zanpakuto had belonged to a lieutenant and had possessed supreme abilities of elemental manipulation. The only way the situation could be much worse would be if Kaien had managed to obtain a bankai before his death.

_Oh well. It's not as if anyone apart from the original wielder could use the bankai anyway. And besides, if he had possessed a bankai then obviously he wouldn't have died in the first place..._

He was keeping considerably closer tabs on the records for Nejibana now. Dredging through the reams of data on his taicho's commands had revealed a considerable amount of activity in Hueco Mundo in the period between Kaien's death and the recent purification. The blade had been exposed to a considerable amount of hollow reiatsu, and its shikai had been released several times, albeit at severely limited power. The most recent release had been at full power, however, which was considerably worrying, since it meant that someone had figured out how to unlock the full potential of a dead zanpakuto.

Interestingly, though, in his digging through various files for Karakura Town, it had turned out that the unseated shinigami Rukia Kuchiki currently allocated to that region had not actually purified any hollows recently. In addition to that, there was a _secondary_ zanpakuto registered to her Soul Phone, one without any records traced to it and that was apparently an asauchi. It didn't have an official seal placed on it, either, so it was impossible to gain feedback data from it. Not to mention it had been _very _active recently, almost as if Kuchiki had passed on her duties onto someone with a nameless blade.

At that point, Hiyosu had been forced to turn the entire file over to Kurotsuchi-taicho, who had inevitably found out about the research. So there was nothing he could do about it any more, and given the way things were, because of Rin's inability to keep quiet about the whole damn thing he'd never get a whiff of that case again -

"Hiyosu. The matter you called to my attention this morning..."

"Yes, Kurotsuchi-taicho?"

Mayuri bared his teeth in what was probably meant to be a grin. "Unfortunately, the data collected from the zanpakuto really isn't sufficient in itself to discover what precisely we're dealing with here. So I want you to gather some. Lure whatever it is out, by any means necessary."

"Any means nece - " He cut himself off at the expression on his taicho's face. "What precisely would that involve?"

"Do I have to state everything for you, or are you capable of using your own initiative? At any rate, you may have any _reasonable _resources at your disposal."

"Very well," he replied, thinking somewhat spitefully of the little fool who had almost thrown the entire business out of his jurisdiction through his incompetence.

* * *

"You're officially awesome."

"Thank you, Asano-san."

He let this slide for the time being, still bouncing alongside. "How did you manage to teleport like that? I mean, I swear I saw you at the front and then you vanished and he just turned back up when the building collapsed like _wham._ The special effects were seriously awesome! But I'm kinda jealous, you could've used that to make it into movies or stuff and you just _wasted_ it - "

"Obviously Uryuu was possessed by an evil spirit," commented Tatsuki with more than a little sarcasm.

"Well, yeah, there was that weirdass-looking guy in the costume who was holding you, was _he_ meant to be the evil spirit?"

Uryuu sputtered. "What?"

"Anyway... thank you for going to the trouble of helping me out," said Kuchiki grudgingly, breaking the brief awkward silence.

"It was nothing. Besides, it would have been troublesome if you'd gotten detention or something similar." _I don't have any spare keys, and you would probably have walked past the more shady parts of town and gotten captured or something, knowing your luck..._

"It's still surprising that the whole building managed to collapse, though," mused Mizuiro contemplatively. "They wouldn't have used the building if there had been a lot of structural damage, and it would have taken a lot of explosive to bring down the entire building unless the supports had been weakened first."

Tatsuki coughed, making a noise that sounded suspiciously like 'Uryuu!'.

"Do you have a cold, Tatsuki-chan? Maybe I should make my special Herbal Chicken Soup recipe to help you get better - "

"What's in it?" asked Rukia, curiosity aroused.

"I added wasabi to help clear the sinuses, as well as extra chili peppers and chocolate in order to remedy the effect of the - "

"I'm fine, thanks," interrupted Tatsuki before the conversation could get any further.

"If you say so, Tatsuki-chan," Orihime replied, still looking somewhat dubious about her friend's state of health.

Keigo turned to Uryuu again. "Hey, by the way, what happened to that friend of yours? That dude who was Kaizo's cousin or something, the one who turned up last night. What was it again, Ichigo, right?"

"Yes... He went home after the entire debacle. He said it was getting too noisy for him. I think his cousin stayed behind a little longer, though."

"Ah..." Orihime frowned slightly. "We ran into Kaizo-kun. But I didn't see Ichigo-kun with him at the time..."

"I don't think they got on that well, actually," spoke Tatsuki, earning her a grateful look from Uryuu. "I've met Ichigo a couple of times, but he isn't in town often."

_At least she's helping cover up the discrepancies... hopefully Inoue-san won't notice that 'Ichigo' is the same onii-san that Yuzu and Karin sometimes talk about. He isn't something they bring up often, and there isn't a colour picture, so there shouldn't really be much trouble..._

Uryuu felt slightly disturbed by the waves of happiness coming from Ichigo right now, but decided it was probably best to just leave it be.

_It's not as if he's caused a catastrophe or something..._

* * *

There was absolutely _nothing_ that could ruin Ichigo's mood just then. Not even a mass invasion of hollows into Karakura Town.

He regarded the object in his hands with abject adoration.

_Best use of a gigai ever._

Oh, _sure_, he could just wait for Uryuu to go shopping, but that would take _ages _and besides it wouldn't quite be the same as getting it for himself. Besides, he wasn't entirely sure whether theft from shops would be visible as a unpaid flying object or not, and at any rate it would probably set off the alarm system.

_...I'm sure he won't mind that I borrowed from him to buy the chocolate. Besides, it's not as if it's his entire savings or anything... it's all good, right?  
_

Nonetheless, he took great care in shutting Uryuu out. He wasn't _entirely_ sure that the sensations of chilli-chocolate-induced bliss did not carry over, but at least there wouldn't be any evidence left.

"Uhm... are you okay?"

Ichigo looked up, startled at the interruption.

And there, standing in front of him, was his little sister. _One _of his little sisters, to be exact; Yuzu was a little taller than he'd last seen her, her hair grown out and a slightly lighter shade than it had been previously.

"Oh, I'm fine. Why?"

"You were making a weird noise. I thought maybe you were hurt, actually."

"No, it's nothing," he assured her, as long-suppressed sensations and desires rose to the murky surface of his soul. _This is nothing compared to what it was before. _"I was just enjoying this. It was quite expensive, so it took a while to get it."

_Well, at least that wasn't a lie. Not exactly, anyway._

Her expression cleared, before she frowned slightly again. "Do you live around here?"

"No, why?"

"It's just... you look familiar..."

"I went to the Ghost Bust special show yesterday," he explained. _Trust Yuzu to follow a show like that. Come to think of it... her reiatsu isn't really that high. Or at least, not as high as Karin's. _"Did you see it?"

Yuzu brightened up visibly. "Yes! You were there?"

"Well, it wasn't exactly as if I could miss it, since a friend of mine was going," he explained cheerily.

"It's definitely the best show! The way Don Kanonji does all those dramatic exorcisms, it's so - " Yuzu gestured, incapable of holding in her excitement for the show, before realizing where she was again. "Ah! I'm sorry for boring you, you probably don't want to hear about all my - "

"It's fine. I like him too." _Even if I have to go... _visit_ him... to prevent any hollows from accidentally being created. Given that his idea of 'an exorcism' is pulling out the Chain of Fate, I'd better do it quite soon._

His plans for today hadn't quite included having a chat with his youngest and most innocent sister, but he supposed that was alright. Besides, it was nice catching up, even if she didn't know who he really was...

* * *

Rukia stared at the white ceiling over her bed as she pondered the mystery that was Kurosaki.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of the hollow, really. On one hand, he certainly acted like no other that she had met, being similar to a human in temperament - _at least_, she amended with a shudder, _most of the time_. Rukia wasn't sure whether Uryuu was aware that she had still been conscious after Grand Fisher had impaled her with the asauchi, but seeing Ichigo react in that way had been terrifying. The sheer monumental weight of the reiatsu he had exerted had almost crushed her in her weakened state. Not to mention that the last thing she had seen him do was release the zanpakuto that had previously belonged to her late lieutenant, confirming its identity.

_It should be impossible for another person to possess the same zanpakuto as another person, _she thought. _And his demeanour seems almost like... no. It can't be, not this soon. Besides, it takes centuries for a Vasto Lorde to form... right?_

She had the distinct feeling she was considerably out of her depth.

Then there was the other problem. Due to the nature of the replacement for her Soul Phone, it could only collect bounties that had been registered through Uryuu's asauchi. It was fairly standard procedure to hook up one's Soul Phone to a zanpakuto in that way, but she hadn't been able to contact Seireitei since the features of the one that Urahara had temporarily supplied did not include communication. This did rather beggar the question as to _why_ it was still called a Soul Phone, if it didn't act as a phone, but nonetheless...

It had been just under two months since her last contact with Central. If she had been any other shinigami, it might, perhaps, have been fine, but as a member of the Kuchiki family, even an honorary one, search parties would probably be sent out. And that would put Uryuu at risk, not to mention Tatsuki and Karin since they could also see spirits. That didn't even get _started_ on what would happen if Ichigo got pulled into the entire thing.

Rukia got the nasty feeling that if a shinigami ever tried to hurt Uryuu, Ichigo would probably end up leveling half the Seireitei until the soutaicho finally stopped him, and even then only maybe. Nejibana was a water-elemental-type zanpakuto; with Ichigo's apparent ability to use such a thing, he would probably be a serious threat to Yamamoto Genryuusai.

_I should really be more worried about myself. If anyone finds out what I've been doing for the past two months... I don't know whether there's a crime that's classed as 'fraternizing with hollows', but I don't think the consequences would be good. _She shuddered. _They're going to come soon... I need to leave before then, but..._

Her mind dredged up the days of time spent in the Living World; memories of socializing with friends, getting to know Uryuu, Ichigo, Tatsuki, all of Uryuu's other friends and the girls in Karakura High who had welcomed her unknowingly into their lives.

_No... I can't leave. Not just yet._


	19. Fate Hates You

"Here kitty kitty kitty..."

Ashido was slightly concerned over the current mental condition of his apparent friend. The Vasto Lorde had come back a few times, occasionally bringing various supplies after he had refused to go with him to the Living World. It was more the _principle_ of the matter of travelling with a hollow, and he wasn't entirely sure that Ichigo Kurosaki was trustworthy. Besides, the zanpakuto swinging at the hollow's hip was enough to make him wary, particularly since it was physically impossible for a shinigami to be involuntarily parted from their zanpakuto in such a way... at least, whilst still alive.

Nonetheless, Ichigo being the closest person to him at the moment, it was worrying when he started trying to catch a pet.

He sighed.

_How__ on earth did he manage to get it into his head that I wanted permanent companionship?_

"Found it~"

Ichigo proudly lifted up the results of his search, a waist-high lizard-like hollow that might well have been an adjuchas. It looked bemused by the entire debacle if anything, back legs swinging freely in mid-air.

"That is a lizard," Ashido pointed out flatly.

Ichigo pouted. "Well, yes, but... Kitty can still be a girl's name too, right?"

_...that's__ a female?_

He decided it was probably best to just humour the Vasto Lorde for the time being. Tentatively, Kano approached 'Kitty', reaching out a hand towards it.

Yellow eyes narrowed behind the mask as the creature snarled at him.

_Okay,__ it definitely doesn't like me._

"I think she might be getting a bit possessive. If we can just get her used to you – "

_Maybe__ I should just have taken him up on that offer of a way out after all..._

* * *

Rin was busy.

Hiyosu had ordered him to set up surveillance all around Karakura Town. The network wasn't active yet, but it would be shortly. Unfortunately, there was currently some disruption between worlds due to the Dangai, and communications were not what they should have been, so it wasn't possible to send the information directly. It was a bit of a pain, but he didn't mind going out to do field work, unlike some of the other members of the division. Besides, his taichou had been acting creepier than usual lately, and it was starting to freak him out a little. It was good to get some fresh air, even if it was in the Living World and he couldn't buy candy without a gigai.

He frowned at the parcel he had been handed. Hiyosu had given him strict instructions to place the thing in the centre of Karakura Town, open it, and then activate the contents by pressing a button on a remote. Rin wasn't sure what was inside, and when he had asked, all he had received by way of response was that it was part of an experiment and would he get on with it because they didn't have all year to go about it.

Hiyosu didn't like sweet things. Rin thought this meant there was probably something wrong with Hiyosu, something he had attempted to remedy several times to no avail.

_Oh__ well,_ he thought. _At__ least if I finish up the job early, I can use __my__ portable gigai to try out cake in the Living World. I bet they have all sorts of different types too!_

* * *

Uryuu stiffened at the shinigami's reiatsu. It was there, barely perceptible, just at the edge of his sensory range.

There were 5 minutes until lunchtime. The door was open. Maybe he could pull this off.

_A__ careful hirenkyaku, nobody will even notice until I'm out the door... and Asano-san will only keep talking about his alien conspiracy theories. Best not to risk it._

* * *

The sensors were all in place. The semi-organic computer hub was reading clear signals from every single one of them, positioned as it was in the centre of Karakura Town, although it was getting some strange data; there was a reiatsu pattern that wasn't identified under any of the general database sections, as well as some odd above-average human ones, something that he had not previously encountered that the computer tentatively identified as 'Quincy' and a weak shinigami pattern.

Rin considered going to talk to the shinigami, but then again, it was probably someone else that Hiyosu had dispatched to make sure he got the job done right. He supposed that meant there would probably be no cake later if his progress was being watched, which was a shame since a nice brunette girl had helpfully pointed him in the right direction of a nearby Living World patisserie. He had been quite looking forward to trying the selection available, as well.

Carefully, he unwrapped the package, extracting a device that looked remarkably like a human air freshener auto-dispenser.

Shinigami have no use whatsoever for such pointless things as air freshener auto-dispensers.

_What__ is this? A device for spraying candy? Maybe I'm meant to put in a coin or something in the slot at the bottom and have it squirt out syrup..._

He poked at the slot. There was something white already in there, preventing any coins from being inserted.

_Oh__ well. I suppose it's broken, then..._

Rin fished in the voluminous pockets of his lab coat, removing a sleek metal remote with a shiny red button labelled 'ACTIVATE' before positioning the spray device upon an upturned mug.

_I__ hope it doesn't get syrup all over my mug, or it'll be all sticky and disgusting and I'll have to wash it again... then again, Hiyosu wouldn't do something like that to me. Right?_

He decided to stop contemplating and just get on with the job.

_Cake__ is at stake!_

There should probably have been a fanfare for something that would set off such a dramatic chain of events as that particular button. However, there was no appropriate background music or anything similar, just the slight click of the button depressing.

There was a quiet crunch, followed by a poof as the device dispersed a fine, almost invisible white powder into the air.

Rin inspected the device closely.

_...was__ that it? I hope I didn't manage to break it by accident or something..._

* * *

Uryuu was out the door the moment the class was dismissed for lunch. _Forget__ Asano-san's conspiracy theories, right now there's the matter of a shinigami in Karakura. That isn't Kuchiki-san. And if they find out, this could be a serious problem._

"Uryuu?"

_Oh,__ good, she followed. _"Why the hell is there another shinigami here?"

Rukia paled visibly as she sprinted alongside him. "There is? I didn't receive any information about such a thing..."

"...your Soul Phone's still being fixed, right." _Why__ the hell couldn't that bastard Urahara give her a better replacement?_!

She flushed slightly. "Well, yes, but still... You should probably stay back and let me deal with it. They probably got worried about why I wasn't reporting in."

"You went without reporting in for two months, and it took them that long to notice that something was wrong," Uryuu said flatly.

_...morons__ are in charge of Seireitei. And I thought they were just too lazy to turn up to perform a __konsou.__ No wonder... if they're this inefficient, I wouldn't be surprised if they get intruders breaking in all the time._

"Well, yes, but I'm sure it was just because it – "

" – Uryuu?"

"Ishida?"

He blinked. Tatsuki was in his face.

_Funny,__ she wasn't there before. When did she get here?_

_...why__ am I on the ground?_

"Are you feeling alright now?" Rukia asked carefully, in the tones of one talking to someone potentially about to snap at any moment.

"Bit dizzy," he managed, pushing himself off the ground. "Did I black out?"

Tatsuki opened her mouth, about to say something before Rukia gave her a significant look. "Something like that, yes."

"...you're being deliberately unhelpful."

"What? You blacked out, that was all there was. I thought you might have banged your head on something whilst I wasn't looking, and Tatsuki came here because she was worried about you as well. Right?"

"Right." Tatsuki looked somewhat uncertain at this.

_...she's__ afraid. What happened – _

There was the faintest whisper of laughter in his ear as the trembling in the air that signified a garganta opening began. He relaxed slightly, before stiffening as the tremor increased in intensity.

He looked up, eyes widening. Tatsuki and Rukia turned to look at the object of his attention.

"What..."

The sky was breaking. Dark tears began appearing as hollows crawled through, drawn as if by some gigantic magnet towards the town.

_Uryuu?_

_All__ the hollows are coming out..._

_I'm__ coming – _

_No!__ The numbers... must have been drawn here by hollow bait or something. There's something attracting them. I don't want to lose you._

There was a pause before his response.

_I__ don't want to lose _you, _either._

_I'll__ be fine. I'm not powerless._

He broke off the connection, pulling his attention back to the Living World.

"I think someone broke hollow bait in Karakura Town."

Rukia's eyes widened, whilst Tatsuki looked at something of a loss.

"Hollow bait?"

"It does more or less what it says on the tin," Uryuu explained dryly. "I've heard about it, there's some information in the texts I have about the stuff and how to make it. I never used it though."

"Who would do such a thing, though... there are so many people around here who could get hurt in the crossfire!"

"I'm not sure, but I sensed a shinigami earlier." _And__ when I find him, I am going to drag an explanation out of him by any means necessary. _"It's possible that he was the one to use the bait."

Tatsuki frowned. "Aren't the shinigami meant to be the _good_ guys?"

"Well - " Uryuu began, before Rukia cut him off.

"Sometimes they make mistakes."

He gave her an incredulous look. "They turned up two hours late for sensei, they couldn't be bothered for something as simple as a konsou for several _years,_and you just say 'they make mistakes'?"

She had the grace to look embarrassed. "Well - "

"Ishida, shut up," Tatsuki cut in. "That doesn't mean it was her fault." A glare in Rukia's direction indicated that if this was the case then she would be _very_sorry. "How many of these things are there likely to be?" She glanced back up at the ever-widening cracks in the sky.

"I don't know. It all depends on how strong the bait is... it could be up to a day before it wears off."

There was silence, before the wailing cry of a hollow cut it, swooping down to greet Uryuu, Tatsuki and Rukia. It landed unsteadily upon millipede-like legs with a thud, before rearing up, antlion jaws opening wide.

"Go help everyone else," said Uryuu urgently as he fished out the zanpakuto. "They'll be targeting people with high reiatsu. If you can get Inoue-san and everyone else to stay inside – "

Tatsuki looked incredulous. "You want us to leave you alone with that thing? After – "

"Yes. There isn't anything else you can do to help right now. You don't have the power to stop a hollow." He turned to Rukia. "Have your shinigami powers returned yet?"

She shook her head. "No... I've been having connection issues with the gigai recently, too."

"Do you think you can find Kai and get him to help?" _He'd__ be of _some _use,__ at least. He can run fast if nothing else, and kick hard. And since he's a mod soul, it's not as if he's incapable of fighting._

"Probably..." Rukia replied, in a dubious tone of voice. "Are you going to be – "

"Just go, okay?"

Tatsuki nodded decisively, before setting off with Kuchiki in tow.

_At__ least now I can focus on this thing._

The hollow seemed upset at the loss of some of its prey. It roared, before falling down onto all its legs and scuttling at high speed towards Uryuu. He swept the blade upwards in an arc, cutting through the hollow and purifying it effectively.

Uryuu glanced at the sky.

_One__ down... who knows how many further to go..._


	20. Communication

**This time on TWIBW:** Hollows. Hollows _everywhere. _*gestures at all of Karakura Town dramatically* Also, Mizuiro's _other_ CMOA that doesn't involve massive explosions! Sort of.

* * *

**A/N:** Hnnnng. Since we know next to nothing about Rin... I thought it would be more expedient to use him and exposit on his character and so forth, rather than creating an OC for the sole purpose of writing this story. I thought I might as well give him a fitting zanpakuto because of the whole Hana/Rin parallel.

Wasn't entirely sure about what Mizuiro's abilities should be. At first I had an idea for it involving blowing up stuff, but then that wouldn't really suit his character since he's generally more subtle than that... so yeah. I wanted to use a fairly original idea that would still suit his personality. (Of course, there wasn't really any question about Keigo's power.) Neither are listed in the QE yet since I haven't settled on a name for them that does not sound incredibly crap in English and/or Japanese.

Marginally longer chapter to make up for the deficit over Christmas. Currently revising for exams which will be taking place in... uh... about a week. Hopefully I should get the whole minor hollow invasion thing over and done with by February, with a bit of luck.

* * *

Had any of the citizens of Karakura Town looked up on that particular Wednesday afternoon, they would have borne witness to the strange sight of a young man in a school uniform zipping through the air... At least, they might have done if they had been capable of focusing on such a fast-moving object, which most of them were not. (There _was_, in fact, one small child who pointed up at the sky and told his parents that he could see Superman flying overhead, but by the time his parents had assured him that Superman was not, in fact, real, and looked up to confirm this, Uryuu Ishida was no longer overhead and thus there were no problems.)

Currently, Uryuu was swearing mentally. He had already cut down 47 hollows, and it seemed to have made no difference - the things were simply coming through faster than he could fight them with the zanpakuto. He could potentially shoot them down and destroy them completely, but doing so would probably damn more souls than it saved, not to mention draw attention - not that it would really matter, since someone had apparently decided to call in what seemed to be a fifth of the population of Hueco Mundo.

Well, okay, perhaps that was an exaggeration, but there _were_ a lot of hollows around.

_Dammit... where the hell is he?_! he thought angrily, materializing lengths of spirit ribbons at his fingertips. Two of them were red: one, a dull, faded red silken ribbon that was almost white, chill to the touch and entwined with violet strands that seemed somehow out of place. It was probably Rukia's, given her status and ice-type zanpakuto, which meant the other, a slender thread of a slightly deeper shade of red, belonged to the other shinigami. It thrummed with energy.

_When I find him, I'll kill him if he's responsible for this mess, _he thought before shaking himself. _No... I can't just kill him, that'll alert Seireitei that something is _seriously _wrong. But still... if anyone dies..._

He permitted a tendril of his reiatsu to flow down the silver wire, the asauchi leaping out of his hand to slash through another hollow's mask before returning to its master. He leapt onwards over the dissolving form of the hollow, already moving onwards to find the monster responsible for the catastrophe.

* * *

Rin sneezed.

It was not turning out to be a good day. The device Hiyosu had given him had lured a _lot_ of hollows here, his kido scores were mostly mediocre, his zanjutsu skills were practically nonexistant, his hakudo likewise and his zanpakuto's shikai was really not that great at close combat.

Thus he was squirting disorientation fluid left and right from a little pump-spray gun. It wasn't going well; the hollows were dizzy and knocking into each other, but he was still surrounded even if they were just spinning in little dizzy circles for the time being, and he didn't have an infinite amount of the spray.

The hollows made little moaning noises. One of them bumped into another, causing a weak retaliatory swipe with a set of claws that missed by a mile.

_Maybe if I can get them to fight each other... I can't use my shikai here though. It takes too long to charge, and even then I can't siphon enough energy off them to be able to do much. Besides, it'll probably be unsafe to use too much of a hollow's reiatsu. _Memories of the discussion of the captains and lieutenants who had been hollowified were still clear in his mind; Central 46 had had no hesitation in condemning them all to death, and Rin was under no uncertanity as to what would happen should a similar fate befall _him_.

One of the hollows growled, shaking its head behind him. As he spun around to spray more of the substance at it, there was a slight hiss, followed by a clunk.

The can was empty.

Rin drew his zanpakuto with a silent prayer to whatever deities above him were watching, as well as the person currently responsible for monitoring Karakura Town.

_...oh wait. That was meant to be me, wasn't it?_

Even if worst came to worst, becoming a hollow could hardly be worse than being _eaten_ and digested by a hollow, Rin supposed. He drew his zanpakuto, resolute.

"Drain, Shi - " he began, only to be cut off by a zanpakuto scything through the air, and, more importantly, the masks of several hollows.

His mouth hung wide open as it sliced through all the others still standing, leaving the hollows to dissipate with a mass wail.

A glimmer in the air, a flicker of blue light, and then his saviour was there, an imposing shadowy figure blotting out the sun -

- just before he stepped forwards, revealing himself as a dark-haired 15-year-old with a pair of glasses and a ferocious frown on his face.

"Explain. _Now,_" he snarled.

Faced with such a terrifying prospect, Rin did the only appropriate thing in such a situation.

He fainted.

* * *

Kai was moving at a brisk jog across the Karakura skyline. He'd been lent Ichigo's gigai again, after persuading Rukia that he wouldn't be able to fight effectively as a plushie. He'd even managed to wheedle out a promise to ensure he could have it for an entire _day_ so long as he helped out.

There was a hollow panting behind him, barely moving at a crawl. It was the fifteenth lap he'd made of the town, and the thing was really having trouble keeping up now. Seriously, why did everyone else have such crappy stamina? He was only just getting into his stride, too!

_Oh, yeah... I was meant to get rid of them, wasn't I?_

He stopped as the doglike creature stumbled to a halt, before slumping down on the roof. It stared up at him as he approached it again.

_Awww... how am I supposed to kill it when it's like this? It isn't even attacking or anything!_

The hollow snarled, before making a weak lunge for Kai with its teeth. Startled, he kicked out at the creature, sending it flying and cracking its skull. The hollow let out a yelp as it dissolved from the breaking of its mask.

..._oops. Oh well, I guess I could go save Orihime-chan~_

He drifted off into a daydream about the wonderful valleys of the godess, before an inhuman cry interrupted his reverie. A hollow dropped out of a garganta right behind him, causing Kai to shriek and sprint off as the new hollow chased him, intent on its prey.

* * *

Uryuu stared at the subject of his malice.

This was _not_ what he had expected. At first he'd thought it might be the monster who came for his grandfather, the one with the large white coat and strange hat and painted face. (_That_ event had sparked off a lifelong irrational fear of clowns and mimes, no matter what he tried.) But this... this...

Currently lying at his feet was what appeared to be a kid. It was wearing a white lab coat, admittedly, but... still a kid. Even younger than he was.

_In appearance, at least._

"...not the candy... please don't take the candy..."

Uryuu's mind finally made a vague stab at the shinigami being male, although it was still rather difficult to tell. He pulled the shinigami up off the floor, shaking the child into wakefulness.

The shinigami shrieked loudly, causing Uryuu to drop him, startled.

"Aah... you're my saviour... right?" It suddenly attached itself to his legs. "Thank you thank you thank you _thank you!_ I was scared and all the hollows were coming and Hiyosu-san _tricked _me -"

_...oh dear god. Why do I always seem to end up with the weird ones? Not to mention... he's just a grunt or something along those lines, it seems.  
_

The shinigami was weeping over his trousers. He could feel a damp patch starting to spread down the fabric.

"...please get off."

The shinigami extricated itself, standing to attention. "Yes sir! I am Rin Tsukiriboshi, I'm so sorry but they didn't tell me that there was someone else already working on this project, they just told me to put the package here and take readings. I was just taking readings and then all the hollows came - "

The corner of Uryuu's eye twitched slightly. "Really. Who told you to take the readings?"

"That would be Hiyosu-san... he probably got the instructions from Kurotsuchi-taicho, though. Uh..." Rin went on tiptoes to whisper in Uryuu's ear. "Is this a secret conspiracy against Seireitei or something? Because someone said that - "

"Yes. It's..." He hesitated, considering the best way to go about it. "That is to say, there is a secret conspiracy against Seireitei which we are working to resolve from Karakura, since Seireitei is no longer safe."

_You do realize this might backfire terribly?_

_Shut up. I'm improvising here._

"Rukia Kuchiki is also part of the counter-conspiracy. It's terribly dangerous and you musn't tell _anyone _about it."

Rin nodded fervently, eyes wide.

"Also, did you say you were taking readings? Readings of what?"

"They were readings of the reiatsu signatures in Karakura Town. I think Hiyosu wanted to lure something out. Do you want me to get rid of them?"

Uryuu considered this. "Could you substitute them with some different readings? It'll be suspicious if you don't bring back any results."

"Of course! I'm sorry I didn't think of that earlier." Rin pulled out something that looked considerably like a tablet PC, tapping away on it. "By the way, what's your name, Omnitskidou-san?"

_...omnitskidou? Oh well, might as well keep playing along._

"I can't give you my real name. That wouldn't be safe. However, you may call me..." Uryuu hesitated, trying to think of an appropriately secret-agent-sounding name, before settling on a Quincy-flavoured one. "_Orion._" He adjusted his glasses for dramatic effect.

Rin paused. "Technically... if I'm helping you and I'm part of the secret counter-conspiracy, should I get a secret name too? I was thinking maybe something like Umeboshi..."

_I suppose his assistance is better than nothing..._

* * *

Keigo glanced nervously up at the sky. Something was giving him a seriously bad feeling just then, and Sado wasn't around. Nor was Uryuu. Either of them would have been of some comfort if it came to a fight, although people might laugh at Uryuu's girly hobbies and appearance. No, all _he _had right now was Mizuiro, who was, predictably, paying full attention to the mobile phone currently in his hands. _Probably checking Facebook or something for updates._

Unfortunately, he didn't have anything to distract himself from the growing cracks in the sky. They looked pretty ominous.

He told himself that there was nothing coming out of those same cracks. He even believed it, for a second, just before there was a flicker of movement around the closest-looking one. Something slipped out of it, catching his eye. Its form was not quite visible, and at any rate, by the time he was looking at it fully, it had already vanished. This didn't make him feel much better, though.

"Cloud-watching, Asano-san?"

"Huh... Actually, I was just looking at something overhead. I thought it might be a helicopter or something like that, but it was just a pigeon." He glanced around desperately; the street was near-empty. Everyone else seemed to have gone somewhere else.

_I wish _I_ was somewhere else, too._

"Hey, wanna go to the new shopping arcade?" he asked, tugging at Mizuiro's sleeve whilst trying not to look back.

_Anything_ was better than being out in the open like this.

"Sure."

* * *

Contrary to Keigo's belief, Mizuiro _was_ actually paying attention. He was just extremely good at making it seem as if he hadn't. He'd noticed the cracks in the sky, as well as the creature that had come out of one of them. He'd also noticed the fact that it was now following stealthily at quite a distance; there were occasional glimpses of it when he looked closely at the image reflected in the mirror-like screen of his mobile.

Obviously there was no point in worrying Keigo, although Mizuiro was pretty sure that _he _had seen something as well, given the way Keigo hadn't even protested over the use of his last name like he normally did. Mizuiro was pretty sure that his friend hadn't noticed their new stalker, though. There would probably be more shrieking.

He checked the reflection on the screen again, tilting it to face the light properly. _Strange. It's vanished... but it was definitely there. Maybe it's following someone else now, although that seems unlikely. It's been tailing us for several streets now, it's not going to stop for no reason -_

And then Keigo bowled him over, knocking him down to the ground as a shadow passed over their heads.

A strange tingling sensation passed over his body. Instinct dictated that he get up and run, except instinct was overridden by the fact that Keigo's body was suddenly chill to the touch and that he could no longer see either himself, _or_ his friend.

Mizuiro decided to stay down and keep quiet for the time being, silently praying that this minor miracle did not go unnoticed by Keigo. Knowing him, he'd probably shriek or something - but no, thankfully Keigo was staying down and making a minimal amount of noise.

He could see the creature properly now; it moved with feline grace, head flicking from side to side in annoyance at the apparent loss of its prey.

_Please just go away. I'm sure there's something more interesting elsewhere. I have a lighter in my bag, maybe if it's distracted for long enough I can set fire to it. _Mizuiro considered the inhuman creature in front of him. _Or maybe that would just annoy it._

The creature's slitted golden eyes narrowed as it inhaled, head suddenly swiveling in their direction, ears pricking.

_...cats have a very good sense of smell. Much better than humans, right?_

It pounced as Keigo leapt off the pavement, grabbing Mizuiro unceremoniously and dragging him by the hand as he sprinted down the street at abnormal speed, both very visible.

"What the hell is that _thing?_!"

_How should I know? It's not like I deal with demons or anything like that on a regular basis..._

Mizuiro decided to save his breath for trying to keep up without being dragged. This was more difficult than it sounded, given the fact that Keigo was running ridiculously fast.

Unfortunately, they hadn't managed to leave the monster behind. It kept following them. In all actuality he was pretty sure it could catch up to them faster than this and was just playing with them for the time being, like a normal cat toying with a mouse trapped beneath its paw.

The creature bounded over their heads, landing in front of them both. Keigo barely managed to stop in time to avoid running into its open mouth, trainers leaving burnt rubber streaks on the concrete as he slid to a halt, the faint glow around them fading away into the dirt.

_...Shit._

His mobile beeped in what he felt was an unnecessarily cheery manner.

"_Good morning, Mizuiro Kojima! What may I do for you today?_" rang out a female voice that reminded him disturbingly of one of his nicer ex-girlfriends whose name he couldn't remember just then -

"Since when the hell did you get a voice-speaking thing on your phone?"

_I didn't. Am I hallucinating or something? There's no way this can be real... so just like the massive monster in front of me, then._

The feline was prowling towards them in a predatory manner, eyes focused on both of them now.

"Keigo? Do you think you could sprint that fast again?" Mizuiro spoke, keeping his gaze on the oversized cat.

"Uh... probably not. I feel really tired, for some reason. I don't even know how I _did_ that. It's not like I'm an athelete or something..."

"_Mizuiro Kojima, would you like to view your options?_"

_My options are dying now and dying a few seconds later, it seems._

"_Mizuiro Kojima, you don't need to be so pessimistic,_" the phone chided. "_Displaying current options~_"

He stared at the screen as it switched to a menu. A whole slew of choices were displayed there with numeric values besides them, varying from Register Friend (0) and Connect Basic (2) all the way down to Destroy (25). Mizuiro selected this last as being the most promising given the current situation.

"_Selected option will require more energy than currently possessed. Attempting to use it nonetheless has a 98% chance of resulting in death. Do you wish to continue?_ (y/n)"

"What're you _doing?_!" Keigo screamed at him.

He stabbed the 'No' button, going back to the original menu. The monster was more or less in their faces now, staring down at them, breath rank with the scent of decay.

_Is that a second mouth inside?_

"What's the next best option?"

"_Evaluating situation... oh dear. You really do seem to be in severe difficulty_," the female voice said, in a mockingly pitying tone. "_Transfer may result in adverse side effects if maintained for too long._ _Do you wish to execute a transfer?_"

"Yes."

"Miz - "

"_Executing transfer..._"

And suddenly the world blurred violently. His senses seemed to be screaming at him, body in overload from feedback as he dimly made out the spoken words in front of him.

"_Transfer successful._"

Mizuiro stared down at himself, or, to be more accurately, his body, which was currently slumped in Keigo's arms. The world seemed to be much more focused in grayscale, but the boy in front of him stank of fear and power, there were voices whispering in his ear and he was starving -

_No. That isn't me..._

His head - or, rather, the head of the creature whose body he was occupying - tilted down to survey the situation. There was an aching absence in his chest.

Keigo was shaking his body frantically. "Mizuiro, wake up - "

Instinctively, he reached out to stop his friend, an action which caused Keigo to flinch backwards.

_Oh... right. This thing was attacking just a minute ago. I suppose he probably hasn't realised. Not that I could blame him for that._

There was a tearing noise. He turned to look at the sky; more rips were opening in it as other creatures began crawling through, evidently drawn because of the same reason as the original monster. Something else was approaching, too, and he was acutely aware of Uryuu's nearby presence in a way he hadn't been before.

Mizuiro crouched as the newcomers ventured closer, backing towards Keigo and his human body. None of them seemed particularly keen to come much closer, up until one made a lunge. He lashed out, swiping at the creature with claws extended and slashing through its mask, causing it to screech and dissolve as particles flowed from it towards him.

He had a growing headache. The voices seemed to be growing louder; probably whatever he had taken over was getting angry about having its body reappropriated by its prey. Not to mention that there was something else that was approaching considerably faster now, making the creature uneasy.

"_Energy limit reached. Transfer terminated - _"

The sensation of returning to his own body was not nearly as terrible as that of leaving it to enter the monster's, but Mizuiro still felt _drained_ more than anything else as he shifted in Keigo's arms. Under other circumstances he might have appreciated it a bit more, but the creature was rapidly recovering from its ordeal, shaking itself off with a bemused sort of air before turning back to its prey with a renewed anger. The other monsters looked somewhat uncertain for a fraction of a second, before closing in.

He saw the brief flash of crimson just before falling into unconsciousness.

* * *

**Quincy bluh bluh whatever nobody cares what I write the title as anyway because I'm the only one reading this.  
**

(_Hey, _I_ read your encyclopaedia thing too!_  
You don't count, Kurosaki.)

* * *

Shiroihiru (白いヒル): White Leech. Where its cousin Hisagomaru heals and inflicts injuries, Shiroihiru drains away and restores pure reiatsu, fortifying its wielder's reserves as a result. It can use a similar blast attack when it is completely full of energy, although the wielder must leave the reiatsu stored within the blade in order for this to happen. The blade can absorb reiatsu from other beings as well as inflicting ordinary injuries, but cannot convert attacks such as cero. The shikai takes the form of an oversized needle with a handle attached. This is connected by a long tube to a tank which stores the energy for later use; the energy blast is released in a precise, concentrated stream from the needle point. It is possible to transfer the reiatsu to someone else, although this is a painful process.

The reiatsu drawn off from a hollow of any variety takes some time to be filtered into its pure form, in order for it to be safely absorbed with no ill effects to a shinigami. However, it does not need to be filtered in order to be used for the energy blast.


	21. Six Flowers: Princess Knight

**A/N WoT: **Somehow I can't really work up the effort to be that bothered about all the original bits of the story that I'm leaving more or less intact, it's just... eeh. Also, I appreciate the magic cupcakes and cookies. Tastes great, less filling though. :B Went to check on what East of Eden was... I swear I didn't watch it before writing this.  
(And yes, there's an app for _everything._ Well, maybe that's a minor exaggeration, but still.)

Mizuiro's operator has a kind of delicious creepiness to it... I think I'll call it GlaDOS. More options will become available for him eventually, it's just that his reiatsu reserves are insufficient right now for all of them to be available, hence GlaDOS's message when he attempted to vaporize the hollow. Most of his abilities will be psychic-flavoured though, since I felt that as a highly manipulative person (he picks up girls just to have them cook for him) these particular abilities would suit him best. I tried to get his operator's personality to match his own in the same way that Orihime's Shun Shun Rikka are mostly innocent and carefree. (The alternative name choice was SHODAN.)  
Keigo's spiffy magic Converse aren't really designed for combat, since he's something of a coward in canon and would seek any means possible to avoid a fight (hence the 'chameleon' ability and extreme speed). Like Mizuiro and everyone else, his powers will get better eventually, but he will never be a heavy hitter since it really isn't his nature. And no, they're not _actually_ called spiffy magic Converse. That would be a terrible name. (I did briefly consider calling them Flash Steps, but that would be a truly awful pun.)  
Tatsuki's ability is terribly appropriate. Orihime's, of course, you are already aware of.  
All currently known (and undescribed) abilities will be added to the encyclopaedia at the end of this chapter.

Also, I have a hell of a lot of correcting to do now. e.e Thanks to Love Psycho for pointing out the errors that I missed earlier... they will be corrected shortly, as well as a whole slew of other minor mishaps I missed. Finally... my real life (yeah, it exists) is in a FUBAR state right now. Please forgive me if I have problems updating - I haven't given up just yet.

* * *

The scene that greeted Tessai was not quite as bad as he had been expecting. He took advantage of the momentary distraction of the various hollows to fire off a series of Hado #31: Shakkahou, effectively obliterating the hollows in a controlled fashion.

There was a boy clinging onto another teenager as if his life depended on it. He frantically waved what seemed to be a mobile phone in Tessai's face, before realizing that the man was not here to attack him and lowering the device cautiously.

"Can you do anything for Miz?"

Tessai gave the apparently unconscious teenager a cursory glance. He seemed well enough on the outside, although his reiatsu was at a dangerously low level. That didn't necessarily mean he was fine, though, and both of them would want answers later. Besides, it was hardly as if Urahara would be protesting over looking out for what was probably one of Uryuu's friends.

"Probably," he replied. "But I think both of you should come with me first."

* * *

Orihime had also noticed the yawning crevasses in the sky, and the creatures that were slipping out of them. Strangely enough, most of the other people seemed to be entirely oblivious to it, and she swore that she'd seen Uryuu flying overhead like some kind of superhero for a brief second. She didn't mention this, though. _If Ishida-kun is a ninja superhero, he probably wants to keep his identity secret so nobody can use it against him... and besides... Would that make Kuchiki-chan Lois Lane to Ishida-kun's Clark Kent? Or maybe, _she thought in a sudden burst of inspiration, _that little bracelet of his that I always see him wearing is his transforming artefact like Sailor Moon -_

Suddenly she was ambushed from behind, arms wrapping around her chest as she yelped, lashing out at her captor with an elbow.

Chizuru Honsho's grip loosened immediately as she started sobbing, massaging her wounded stomach. "Why, my precious Hiiiime..."

"Ah! Chizuru-chan... I thought you might be a pervert attacker trying to do something terrible to me..."

Tatsuki approached, staring at the scene as Chizuru turned to face her, weeping.

"How can you do this to _me?_! You've corrupted my precious flower of innocence with your terrible boyishness! Curse you, my terrible foe..." She shook her fist at Tatsuki. "Do not worry, Hime! I'll save you from this - "

At this point, Chizuru was interrupted by a fist to the stomach, this time from Tatsuki.

"Romance... will prevail..."

"Chizuru-chan, are you alright?" Orihime bent over in her concern to help up Chizuru, who gratefully accepted the assistance in getting up.

"Come on, she'll be fine. We need to get going, or we'll gonna miss the movie," Tatsuki commented, with a cursory glance at the sky.

Orihime almost asked _What movie? _before realizing something vitally important: her friend had looked upwards when saying that.

Contrary to popular opinion, she was not a complete ditz, and was capable of thinking extremely fast sometimes.

It meant that Tatsuki had _also_ seen whatever was following them, and was currently trying to get them to leave as fast as possible without causing alarm by using the excuse of a movie. It also raised all sorts of questions about why Chizuru hadn't noticed, but maybe they were all just pretending that it wasn't really there just in case someone else wasn't able to see it. But whatever it was, Tatsuki probably knew something about it, and wanted to get away from it as fast as possible. Not to mention that the creature radiated an aura of malevolence that was tangible, even at such a distance...

"Yes! Let's go early so we can get popcorn to go with it! Chizuru-chan, would you like to join us?" she cried, grabbing her classmate's elbow and steering her towards the school entrance.

Chizuru's demeanour did a complete 180-degree turn as she gave a lecherous grin. "Ohohoho... finally my secret conversion techniques have paid off, then? Of course I would _loooove_ to come with you... maybe afterwards we could even have a 8-hour session of glorious ménage à trois - "

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, don't get any ideas," Tatsuki grumbled, glowering as she accompanied the pair. "If you try anything lewd - "

"Ah, you don't need to worry, you'll be included too if you like. I knew I could persuade you one day~"

"Hmmm... how perfectly disgusting," came a voice from above.

Both Tatsuki and Orihime looked up instinctively for the source. A monstrous tentacled creature hung overhead, its head covered in a series of blunt spines.

"Oh... you can see me as well, can you?" The creature let out a high-pitched giggle, one at odds with its grotesque form. It raised a tentacle to its mask to cover its mouth in a girlish fashion. "Even better! Now I can have fun watching as you rip each other apart!"

"What're you looking a-?"

There was a sharp crack, followed by the sound of shattering glass and something more visceral. All three girls ducked instinctively in an attempt to dodge the missiles.

"Chizuru-chan!"

"Honsho?"

Chizuru gripped her shoulder, grimacing slightly as blood trickled from between her fingers. She forced a smile at the concerned expression on Orihime's face.

"It's alright. Although it's good to see you like this... it's cute, but it doesn't suit you." She lifted her arm up, waving it back and forth. "See? Perfectly fine! Don't worry, it'll all be okay..."

And then her arm shot out to grab Orihime by the neck.

"Wha..."

"Honsho, what the hell are you doing? Let go of her!" Tatsuki delivered a swift karate chop to the arm, causing Chizuru to let go with a cry of pain.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, it wasn't me!" The girl was nearly hysterical now; Orihime could clearly see the projectile half-buried in the shoulder now as she gripped her own arm, holding it in place.

The monster had landed on the ground by now, its tentacles shrouding the main body like hair. "Do you like it? Does it hurt? This is my special ability!"

Tatsuki turned to face the creature. "You bastard! Let her go and fight me like a man!"

"Hmm..." It tapped the side of its mask with the tip of one tentacle in a thoughtful manner. "How about no. I despise conflict utterly... which is why I have others do it for me~ Now I can have the pleasure of watching you ripped to shreds by your former classmates!"

And suddenly, other people came out of the building. Some of them were students from the younger years that Orihime recognised by face, but others were teachers. She could recognise the burly physique of Kajine-sensei standing out amongst the crowd. None of them seemed to be aware of what they were doing in the same way that Chizuru was.

"Shit," Tatsuki cursed as she glanced from side to side, trying to keep every potential threat in view at once. "Where's Uryuu when you need him?"

"You... knew that Ishida-kun is a superhero?"

"Yeah, let's just - " She stopped as Chizuru made a lunge for the pair of them, knocking her out with a precise strike to the skull. "Damn it... fighting like this is a disgusting trick. We can't just kill them, but how the hell are we supposed to make them wake up? Cut it out of them?"

"Aaaah... a shame, I was hoping to see you both torn apart by one of your closest friends."

"There's no way I'm friends with that person," Tatsuki muttered under her breath with a wince.

"Tatsuki-chan... I don't know what it is, but if that thing is controlling the others, if we can kill it - "

"Right." Her friend stood up with a determined air as her karate outfit began to take on a metallic sheen. "In that case... I'll make this bastard hollow pay for trying to hurt you!"

"Not so fast, girl." With a twitch of its tentacle, the zombie-like army lurched forwards. "Or are you forgetting about _my_ pawns-?"

Tatsuki moved in a blur, hands and feet slamming into torsos and skulls as the controlled humans were knocked out of the way.

She slid to a halt in front of the hollow. "Next... was you, wasn't it?"

"I-impossible! How could you defeat them all in that period of time... but nonetheless..." It lifted itself off the ground, its regrown spikes quivering slightly before firing outwards at Tatsuki. She dodged, her form blurring as she evaded the projectiles that seemingly kept coming out of nowhere, preventing her from getting close.

"Dammit! Stay still so I can hit you!"

_Tatsuki-chan... she can do something like this...  
_

"Aren't you forgetting something~"

The projectile didn't make a sound until it impacted with flesh, and even then, it wasn't something that most people would have heard unless they were fairly close or had good hearing. A sickening, visceral sort of noise coupled with a crack.

"T-Tatsuki-chan?" Orihime whispered.

Her friend's eyes were dulling over as Tatsuki slumped into her arms. Shaking, Orihime's hands found the seed that had buried itself in the back of the skull, in a last-ditch attempt to stop a killing blow that was meant for her. There was no way it'd ever be right again. Even just _looking_, she could tell that the injury was fatal.

_Useless. I couldn't even do anything to protect myself, so Tatsuki-chan had to get hurt for me instead..._

Tatsuki Arisawa fell, her uniform dulling to ordinary white cloth once more as Orihime's vision blurred with tears.

"Ohohoho... how sad... and now that brat's gone, it's just you to play with. Maybe I'll even use her corpse to rip you to shreds as you continue to weep for her death!"

_Tatsuki... I'm sorry. Thank you for protecting me... now it's my turn. Even in death._

"I can't forgive you for hurting my friends," Orihime whispered. "For what you did to them." She straightened up, barely paying attention to the whirling creatures now flying around her.

"What is that... her demeanour is totally different..."

Two of the fairies settled down upon Tatsuki, as a golden, luminescent shield sprang up, breaking down the seed and restoring Tatsuki's body to its previous condition. Another dark-clad fairy settled on Orihime's shoulder.

"You want that thing to pay for what happened, right?"

"Yes. He... it..." She swallowed. "It killed Tatsuki-chan. And it made all these other people be hurt as well."

"Then call my name. Tsubaki!"

"Tsubaki..." Orihime hesitated for a fraction of a second, before the rest of the command came to her mind instinctively.

"Koten Zansshun... I reject."

The hollow was taken by surprise, unable to dodge as Tsubaki flashed towards it, splitting it in half.

"Hey. Woman. Why are you still crying?"

"It's just... even if I do that, it still won't bring Tatsuki-chan back..."

"You don't need to worry!" spoke up the larger of the two fairies that had settled on the body. "We're working on healing her. She'll be alright if you give us some more time."

"...What are you? Flying midgets?"

Tsubaki squinted at her, hovering just before her nose. "Eeeh? Who're you calling a midget there_?_!"

"Be kinder to her, Tsubaki," chided a heavier-built fairy, who was currently perched on Orihime's left shoulder. "She's just had a traumatic experience."

"We're part of your power, Orihime... when you were in danger, you reacted to that, and we were brought into being to help you!"

"Oh." She sat down heavily against the wall. "Somehow, I feel a little tired..."

"That's only natural. It's your first time, after all - " Lily noticed that Orihime had slumped over. "Oh dear... I think we'd better go in. She did use quite a lot of reiatsu trying to heal her friend without the incantation..."

The six flowers vanished without further ceremony.

* * *

Tatsuki had a really bad headache as her brain began catching up with recent events.

_Oh... I guess I'm not a zombie then. At least that's something._

Wooden sandals clicked against the concrete. She twisted her head, making out a green-clad figure with a bucket hat shadowing his face.

"Ah... this is problematic."

"Who the hell are you?"

"You're awake? That's good! As for me..." The man produced a fan out of nowhere, opening it with a sharp snap. "I'm just a humble shopkeeper."

"Humble shopkeeper my ass..."

"Now, now, it doesn't pay to be rude to someone you don't even know," he chided, fanning himself.

She levered herself off the pavement with a grunt. "What do you want?"

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions right now... Well, I suppose I could help answer some of them, at least. Not to mention help out your friend."

Tatsuki glanced at Orihime, currently unconscious on the concrete.

"Why would you want to do this?"

"Well... you're a friend of Uryuu-kun's, after all. I'm sure he would be terribly mad at me if I didn't help you out in your time of need~"

She stared at him with a renewed curiosity. _This guy knows Ishida? How the hell does that work? Not to mention, he looks pretty familiar..._

"Wait," she blurted. "Weren't you that guy claiming to be Kaizo's father?"

"Ah, you recognised me! I'm glad."

"What do you have to do with all the hollows that've been turning up?" she asked suspiciously.

"He told you about that, then... well, I suppose that will make things a bit easier." He glanced upwards at the sky. "Nonetheless, I think we should really move this discussion to somewhere safer, don't you?"

"Fine, then." Tatsuki stood up, keeping her gaze fixed on the strange man. _But if he tries anything funny..._

* * *

_**Quincy Super Awesome Special Shiny Book Of Doom!**_

(...that's it. You're never allowed to write the titles again.)

* * *

**GlaDOS:** Mizuiro Kojima's abilities are manifested through his mobile phone (currently a touchscreen). As well as possessing all the ordinary features that any phone would, it also has a few extras that would not be found on any ordinary mobile phone, no matter how smart. Being a program, GlaDOS can potentially be transferred from one device to another. It has various different functions and abilities, some of which are more energy-draining than others. While GlaDOS can always be used so long as the user has reiatsu, if the device that GlaDOS is currently running on runs out of battery or other electrical supply, it will drain reiatsu to run, even without any options in use. GlaDOS will always quantify reiatsu values very precisely into its calculated arbitrary units. Whilst downloading GlaDOS onto a battery-operated device will considerably amplify the charging rate and battery life when not in use, as well as permitting reiatsu-based recharging, actual _use_ of the program will eat up the battery like nothing on earth. Attempting to use a function for which one has insufficient reiatsu will cause side effects, varying from mild headache to death.

Register Friend (0): This is a basic function of GlaDOS, requiring no energy other than the electrical charge on the device. Registering a friend permits later communication and monitoring of reiatsu.

Connect Basic (2): This is another basic function of GlaDOS, connecting with one registered friend to form a temporary basic psychic link, permitting near-instantaneous communication. This uses minimal energy to set up (2 arbitrary units) and maintain.

Transfer (8): This is one of the more advanced functions, permitting the transfer of a mind into another body. All abilities, advantages and drawbacks of that body are conferred, but not of the mind of that body. Transfer takes a mediocre amount of energy to maintain after its use, and may be dangerous depending on the target's state of mind and health, particularly with hollows as they have a tendency to be completely insane. Death of the original body will result in the transfer being broken, resulting in either mind-death or worse. Death of the transfer body whilst the mind is still in it may result in mind-shock, mind-death or worse. Transfer is not a function that should be used lightly.

Destroy (?): One of the highest functions of GlaDOS, it does exactly what one would expect - that is to say, causing psychic breakdown of the target at the molecular level. However, this uses a considerable amount of energy to complete and is not a recommended function for normal use. The amount of energy necessary varies considerably from target to target, as an increased amount of reiatsu possessed by a target will render it far more difficult to break down.

**Hikaritai** **(光体t):** **Light Body**. Keigo Asano's abilities are manifested partially through the Converse that he wears, granting various non-combative abilities that may also be bestowed upon others if physical contact is maintained. The shoes are rendered considerably more hardwearing than any other footwear would normally be as a result. Whilst they can also (potentially) be used to kick far harder than anyone would without assistance of a technique such as shunko, they are not especially designed for such a purpose.

Meisai (迷彩): Camouflage. Bends light around the body, and anything reasonably sized which remains in contact with the body. This does not, however, disguise the user from any other sense, such as concealing scent or sound, nor does it render the body immaterial.

Shunpo (瞬歩): Flash Step. Roughly the same as the shinigami version whose name it shares, the user accelerates themselves to a high speed to travel a long distance in a brief period of time. Keigo's Converse, as an inbuilt part of his power, offer rather more control than a shinigami of the same level would have, assist in minimization of air resistance, and decrease of effective weight, easing the process considerably.

**Kishi no yoroi (騎士の鎧): Knight Armour.** Tatsuki Arisawa's abilities are manifested through her martial arts uniform, causing it to harden into a metallic cloth. While it retains the fluidity of the original clothing, it also possesses the same durability as high-quality steel and is capable of deflecting attacks, making it an excellent protection. It does not hinder movement in the same way as ordinary armour would do, and has extremely smooth surfaces, reducing friction and assisting high-speed movement as well as enhancing natural strength. It also potentially possesses various other special abilities, although these remain unknown as of yet.


	22. Dark Stranger: The Giant

**A/N: **Yes, they are all Fullbring-style abilities. I didn't state it _explicitly_ in the story, since nobody even knew about Fullbringers until the most recent LSSB arc, but I didn't want to pull a whole new type of ability completely out of a hat with no particular reason other than 'I felt like it', and no rational explanation.  
Mizuiro's phone does not provide cake, regrettably. And Uryuu has a hell of a lot of explaining to do... I wasn't entirely settled on whether I would exposit on Chad's scene or not, since I really want to get the story moving, but eventually I thought he could do with some love. And we can get this arc to a conclusion within a few weeks.

FYI, this entire story will be revamped shortly with _100%_ _more_ _permanent chapter titles_, and _less errors_ _than lemons_ in this work of fanfiction!  
(Actually, that last might be a _bit_ hard to do, since there's no citrus in here, but I'll try for -1 errors anyway.)

* * *

"Something wrong, Chad?"

He looked up at the sky past his fringe, taking note of the ever-widening cracks in the sky.

"No... it's nothing."

"Then hurry up! Otherwise they're gonna make us pay extra to get food if it's the end of lunchtime service!"

"Mmm... that's bad."

Yasutora continued staring up at the dark rips in the sky. Was it just his imagination, or was there something moving up there other than the clouds?

"Ah, come on! We're part-time workers, it's different from being a student... you can just be carefree all the time, but for us, every meal is dear to one's life!"

_...where did that saying even come from? It sounds like something Uryuu might come up with._

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted as Shigeo grabbed the front of his shirt, shaking it roughly and briefly reminding him of Uryuu's button rants.

"Now repeat after me! Every meal is dear to one's life!"

Long experience with Uryuu Ishida had taught him the best way to cope was to simply play along with rants.

"Every meal is dear to one's life..."

"Yes! Now, expiry dates are just a suggestion, only buy meat when it's on sale cheap - "

There was a faint cracking sound from behind him.

"Only go to supermarkets before closing time, that's when they reduce all the stuff - "

Something crashed into the ground.

"What was that... a gas explosion?"

Sado stared. There was clearly an imprint where something had shattered the concrete landing on all fours, and the air was distorted somehow, as if by a heat haze - except in a definite _shape_ rather than a mere blur. Whatever it was, it gave the impression of malicious intent honed upon its prey.

Him.

_It's stopped moving... if only I could see it a little clearer... what's it doing?_

Somehow, it reminded him of _the parakeet and the boy trapped inside whose mother had been killed by another, invisible, monster, which Uryuu had fought alongside Rukia Kuchiki -_

"Shigeo... Harutoki..."

The hazy figure shifted.

Yasutora Sado didn't need any further prompting. Fighting wasn't an option, or his friends would be hurt as a result. Besides, it only seemed to be after him, so he took the best available option.

He ran.

_There's a vacant lot nearby, nobody should be there. If I can just reach it, then maybe I can stop it there, where nobody will be able to get involved._

* * *

"Eeeh... Kurosaki, what's up with you today? Your aim is totally off!"

Karin scowled at the clouds. She'd been having an uneasy feeling all day; it had been bothering her, preventing her from playing at her best. Not to mention that she felt worried for other people around, and her sixth sense was playing up again in the same way it had the last time she'd visited the graves.

_Maybe I should just call it a day and go back home or something... take a bath and relax._

"I'm going home," she declared.

"What! You can't just leave us, Kurosaki!"

She completely ignored the cries from behind her, absorbed in her own thoughts up until the point when she ran into a tall man at the entrance of the job lot.

"Huh... what're you doing here?"

The tall Mexican-looking guy stared at her, eyes wide. "You've got to get away from here..."

"What're you talking about?" She folded her arms across her chest defiantly. "It's not like there's anything _wrong_ with playing football here, nobody's using this space - "

There was a blur, and something smashed into the ground where they had both been standing not a second before, as the stranger bundled her up in his arms and dived out of the way.

As the dust cleared, she stared at the figure now standing there. It was a strange creature of tremendous bulk, more ape-like than anything, with a strange mask like the head of a deformed Chinese lion.

"What is that thing..." she whispered, eyes drawn to the gaping hole through its chest.

"You can see it clearly?"

Karin stared at the man incredulously. "How _can't_ you see it? It's clear as day!"

The monster reared up onto its hind legs, arms reaching out.

"Mister! Behind you!" she yelled. He sprinted out of the way with her in his arms, getting out of reach just as the blow landed before looking from side to side.

"Where are you looking? It's directly to the right!" _Unless... this is another spirit... and he can't see it at all, but he still managed to dodge the first blow... Who is this guy?_

Her thoughts were interrupted as the creature made another swipe.

"Left! Dodge it!" Karin called out frantically, too late. Its blow sent the pair of them flying. Safely in his arms, she was protected; the stranger, though, was not.

"Mister... you okay?" She disentangled herself from his arms. He was still breathing and conscious given the nod that she received as a reply, although hurt. He shifted, moving to get up as the cavalry arrived. _Oh god, they can't stay here!_

"Hey, Kurosaki! What's up with that bloodstained guy?" Kei asked, drawing closer with the rest of the soccer crowd.

"What happened? Did you get in a fight with him_?_!"

"Get away, you morons! Go somewhere else!" she yelled.

Heita scowled at her. "What's up with that, Kurosaki? You're always like this! We were all worrying about you, and you can't even say something like 'nah, I'm fine', it's always - "

Karin's eyes widened as she saw the monster looming over the heads of her friends, still unknowingly ranting at her about her attitude. Its hands were outstretched, poised to strike downwards. She took the only available option to her, launching a flying kick at the creature's mask in an effort to stop it.

There was a sharp crack as a hairline appeared on the mask. Karin landed badly; her friends scattered as the monster rose, incensed by her impudent attack.

* * *

Sado saw the blur behind the girl's friends, watched as she attempted to fend the creature off and the other boys fled the scene as he sprinted over.

The blurred figure bent over her fallen body as she struggled to get up. Its figure was clearer now, more definite. He could see it reaching out for her with one arm outstretched.

"_I know you made a promise not to hit someone for your own sake..._"

_I have to protect her. For someone else's sake... I will be strong.  
_

He lashed out at it with all his strength.

* * *

Karin coughed as the dust from the explosion cleared away again, getting up. Her ankle hurt, but it felt like it was probably sprained rather than a more serious break. She wouldn't be running any marathons soon, though, and that man -

_He's still standing... but..._

"What's with that arm?"

He turned to look at her, before inspecting his arm. It was covered with a strange black-red-white armor all the way up to the shoulder.

"Huh... what is this?"

_He doesn't know either, I guess._

The monster shifted from its position on the ground, levering itself up with its one remaining arm before snarling, breaking into a lopsided run.

"Mister! It's coming agai - "

Karin fell silent as the Mexican punched out with his armoured right hand once more. There was a brief blur of energy around his fist, just before it blasted through the monster's head, causing it to dissipate into nothingness.

_He knew where it was even without my directions..._

The stranger turned to look at her, before giving a thumbs-up sign with his bare hand.

_...oh god, that's so uncool. How can a guy like that be so corny?_

He folded over onto the ground. Since he was quite tall, it took some time for this to happen, meaning that Karin managed to hobble over just before he hit the ground, catching him.

_Damn... he's pretty heavy. With my ankle busted like this, it's not as if I can just carry him to the clinic by myself or something..._

He turned his head to look at her.

"You're not hurt or anything?"

"My ankle... but you're the only one who ended up getting seriously injured. What were you even thinking?"

"I see..." The stranger closed his eyes. "That's good."

"That's not good! How the hell is getting hurt 'good'? Augh!" Karin let her head fall into her hands. "Stop acting tough all the time and just lie there, I'll get the old guy to come treat you!"

She ran as fast as she dared, ignoring the pain in her ankle as she made her way to the Karakura Clinic. Hopefully Isshin would be free to come take a look, and it was easier than answering the main hospital's questions about how he'd gotten hurt in the first place.

_That moron... although I guess Tatsuki is sort of the same way as him...  
_

* * *

"Hado no. 33: Sokatsui!"

An orb of blue light formed before Rukia's hands, before leaping forth to incinerate the hollow that was her target - in theory, at least. What _actually_ happened was that it turned around, the flames dissipating rapidly from its form, before reaching out with long tendrils to snatch at her.

She leapt out of the way, avoiding its attack.

_My powers still haven't returned properly... maybe if I hadn't used them for so much healing kido and exhausted myself... No, it doesn't matter. If I hadn't done that, Orihime and Tatsuki might have died that day when they were attacked. I can't let anything get in the way of my duty!_

And then suddenly the hollow exploded.

Rukia blinked as its body dissolved, revealing the orange-haired form of -

"Neeeee-saaaaaan!" Kai wailed, making a lunge for her and attempting to leap into her loving embrace - at least, in his dreams. Regrettably, his affections were cut short by a palm to the face.

"Kai? What are you doing here?"

"Ah, well..." He considered the question. "I was running ar- uh, taking care of hollows, and then I saw my precious nee-chan in trouble so I decided to come and help!" Kai shuddered. "I didn't see the de- Uryuu," he hastily corrected himself. "Besides, he's probably fine."

"Hmm..." Rukia took the sensor out of her pocket, inspecting it. She had long since muted the thing, since it had been making a continuous whine for five minutes straight before she had done so. Nonetheless, it still displayed the positions of numerous hollows - at least 5 in the vicinity, and much more than that in the entire town. Some were starting to gather to a certain point where they were winking out rapidly, but the influx was too high for it to make any significant dent in the population.

_Dammit! Why did someone have to use hollow bait here? _she thought as another hollow drew closer, apparently emboldened by her weakness before Kai launched a kick at its face, shattering its mask.

"Don't worry! I will protect you, Nee-san! Even if that slacker isn't here!" He gave her a cheesy grin and a thumbs-up sign as he did so.

_And I have an amorous Mod Soul looking after me. Seireitei is going to have a fit over this._


	23. Draco Dormiens

**This time on TWIBW: **The consequences of actions revealed. Also lasers and CMOA.

**A/N: **Dear god 2 updates in as many days?  
Error reduction complete. If there is something that doesn't make sense, please let me know~

I personally think that Kisuke Urahara is a manipulative bastard, given everything that he has done in canon... maybe even more so than Sosuke Aizen (sending a bunch of kids into a _supposedly_ highly defended fortress with minimal information about their enemies or the provision of any kind of map whatsoever is a _great_ idea). It isn't really the way that Tite Kubo intended him to be interpreted, I'm sure, but still. I think Kisuke _does_ have some justified reasons for what he does, but he's Mr. Mystery so he never gets round to explaining them and earns my description instead. There will probably be more exposition on his character later in canon, but for now I have resolved to do something about it. As well as this, I'm going to try to keep personalities the way they were partly intended. Whilst Kisuke's slipup in failure of preparation can be partially fobbed off because nobody asked, Uryuu (being the sensible sidekick kinda guy) should at least have thought of asking about what Seireitei was like, and whether they actually had any proper plan or not. Unjustified actions, plot holes, OOCness and ridiculous OTTness tend to annoy me somewhat, which is why some of my older works piss me off when I look back at them. :U

Also also, apparently I now have a TV Tropes recommendation. O.o The heady fame...

* * *

Mizuiro groaned. He had a really terrible headache, as if he'd been without sleep for two days.

"Miz! You're okay!"

_And of course I just have to wake up to the sound of a happy Keigo Asano._

One eyelid cracked open a fraction.

"Ah... Kojima-kun... I'm glad you're alright."

Orihime smiled uncertainly at him. Keigo was sitting right next to the mattress he was currently lying on; Chad was sat up against the wall, and raised a hand in way of greeting when Mizuiro looked at him. Tatsuki was right next to Orihime, giving him a look that signified pain if he tried any moves on her friend.

He sat up, taking closer notice of his surroundings. There was a large pile of boxes close to the door, with various labels reading 'LEFTOVER STOCK', 'POOR MERCHANDISE' and 'C-CLASS BOOSTERS', suggesting that they were in the back room of a shop somewhere. Other than that, it wasn't very helpful as to their exact location.

"Where are we?"

"The Urahara Shoten," muttered Tatsuki. "The guy who brought us here told us, he runs this place."

_Why would this person be interested in helping us? _he wondered briefly, before thinking of the mobile phone that had talked to him with a personality of its own, and done things that no electronic device should ever be able to do. _Not to mention Asano-san's invisibility trick. I'm pretty sure that had nothing to do with me. But then... they're here as well..._

And then it clicked.

"This is all to do with Ishida-san, isn't it?" he stated matter-of-factly.

His suspicions were proven a split second later when Tatsuki's eyes widened and she yelled, "That asshole! He said I was the only person he ever told about it!"

"He didn't, actually. I just guessed. What _did _he tell you?"

She stared at him for a few seconds, before sighing. "Well, after what Keigo said happened to you... basically that thing that went after you? That was a hollow. They're... basically what human souls become if they die and stay around here for too long."

"And Ishida-san fights them?" Mizuiro questioned, barely managing to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice.

"Well, yeah. Although it's meant to be the job of the shinigami to send the souls on so that doesn't happen, and to fight the hollows when they turn up. Rukia's the shinigami who was meant to be doing all that, but she managed to lose her powers so she got Uryuu to do it."

_I suppose that makes about as much sense as Keigo's 'Rukia-is-an-alien' theory._

The door slid open.

"Ah, I'm glad to see you're all awake!" The blonde man who had introduced himself at the school as being Kaizo's father beamed from the doorway.

"Why'd you bring us here?" Tatsuki asked, frowning at him.

"Because of what happened to you. I suppose you could say that you all have a choice from here. All of you have awakened the latent abilities you were born with through your exposure to the heightened reiatsu of Uryuu Ishida and Ichigo Kurosaki. I suppose you could think of this as a locked door. Essentially, you have the key to open it in your hands; the only question is whether you will use it... or not." Urahara had a serious expression on his face.

"We should go... the Kyumon will begin to converge shortly, if I am any judge. Watch, if you will."

* * *

Uryuu Ishida was fighting side by side with a shinigami. If that shinigami were Rukia Kuchiki, he might have felt marginally better about the matter, but no, instead he had someone who looked barely out of kindergarten. And was apparently incapable of fighting at close quarters _or_ long range. Rin kept jabbing at the hollows with an oversized needle attached to what seemed to be a petrol tank as Uryuu slashed through their masks. It didn't help his mood that Rin was in complete awe of his abilities.

The air trembled, a sensation that he had long since attrited to the opening of a garganta. However, this one seemed different somehow; more violent than the minor tremors that had been taking place all afternoon. The hollows reacted to it, lifting their heads up to the source of the vibrations and making a keening noise as they did so.

"Ah... Orion-sama..." Rin pointed up at the massive crack beginning to open. "I think there's something else coming through..."

_...shit, _thought Uryuu as he saw the white mask poke through the gap, fingers curling over the edges_. A Gillian. Well, I suppose at least it isn't capable of much destruction, if it was an adjuchas, we'd be having a lot more trouble -_

_Okay, this is ridiculous. I'm coming for this thing._

_No! You can't! There's a shinigami with me, if he sees you you'll be -  
_

The foot came through, landing on the ground and causing the earth to shudder.

"Uhm... Orion-sama, can you do something about it? I don't think I can really take out a Gillian like this unless maybe my zanpakuto was fully charged..."

The hollows took advantage of the momentary distraction to make a move, only to be obliterated by a series of explosions. Uryuu ducked instinctively as he swiped out at one hollow that had managed to dodge.

Ururu lowered the massive rocket launcher from her shoulder.

"Ah... Uryuu-kun... It's good to see you're well!"

"Oh god it's you," Uryuu muttered under his breath at the sight of Kisuke Urahara and Co. approaching. "What do you want?"

"Is he... the same Kisuke Urahara that founded the Scientific Research Bureau?" Rin asked, pointing at the man with a shaking finger.

The Quincy blinked. _What? Well... this is news..._

"I'm afraid you must have me confused for someone else." There was a _fwip_ as he whipped out his fan from a pocket. "I am merely a humble - "

Uryuu yanked the fan out of Kisuke's hand, scowling. "Did you just come here to showboat or was there an actual reason?"

"How cruel! I just thought you'd like to know that all of your friends are safe. We'll take care of this lot - " the shopkeeper gestured towards the remaining hollows, which had fallen back considerably - "if you can help take care of _that _one." He pointed up at the massive Gillian.

"...may I just point out that this is entirely ludicrous? Why can't you get rid of the Gillian and I'll take care of the - "

"Yes! Orion-sama can definitely do it! Can't you?" Rin turned to face him with an adoring look in his eyes.

"Of course," replied his mouth completely separate of his brain.

"Excellent!" Kisuke clapped his hands. "In that case, you'd probably better get a move on before it knocks too much over."

_Great. No pressure there, then._

* * *

"You're ready?"

Ashido nodded grimly, placing the mask upon his face once more in order to conceal himself. "Yes." _I'll keep their memories alive... they will not be forgotten._

The hollow was considerably more serious than he had been before; even the so-called 'Kitty' at his side wasn't reacting to his presence in the way that it normally would.

_This is something I have to do. If Gillians are permitted to enter, it will be a disaster... they think of nothing but their own hunger, and the souls of the Living World will be sucked out of their bodies._

They spread out, searching for the garganta.

* * *

Uryuu approached the oversized hollow. It still hadn't made its way completely through the gap, one half of its body still out of sight.

"Have you fought Gillians before, Orion-sama?"

"No," he answered bluntly as he stared up at the massive thing. _How the hell am I supposed to do this? Although I can get my arrows to fly that far, it'll still be dooming several thousand souls... if they're even strong enough to break that mask. They're like sewing needles in comparison to these things. I can't even use the zanpakuto, the wire isn't long enough for it to fly that far... although I suppose I could always cut through its legs so I can reach the head..._

"Well, at least they only have two different types of attacks since this isn't an unique Gillian, so it can't be too bad, right?"

_Trampled to death or being obliterated by what is effectively a massive laser._ _Fun._

The whole of the Gillian's upper body was now free of the void, one foot in the Living World.

"Orion-san?"

_The next time I see Urahara-san, I'm going to make him pay for this._

Uryuu flung the zanpakuto outwards, sending his reiatsu coursing through the metal as the blade swung at the Gillian's foot. The wire wrapped around its ankle just as it lifted its leg, yanking him ignominously off his feet and sending him flying, the end of the wire slipping out of his fingers.

_Damn. So much for that then... there has got to be a better way of doing that which doesn't have any possibility of losing my fingers._

"Orion-san!"

Rin was sprinting to catch up with him as he landed on the grass. The Gillian had apparently noticed him now, its head twisting to face him as its mouth opened as if to take in a breath. Its mouth yawned widely, hollows of all kinds being drawn upwards into its mouth.

The jaws snapped shut.

"Uwah..."

"Orion-sama?" asked Rin nervously, snapping Uryuu out of his stupor.

_...and this is just a Gillian. Dear god, I'm personally _glad_ Ichigo never goes into serious mode. At least, not often anyway._

"Orion-sama!"

"Uh... would your zanpakuto be able to help us out here?"

Rin blinked, before staring down at the oversized needle in his hands. "I might be able to drain some of its energy off, if I managed to keep the needle in there, but..."

There was a buzzing noise from high above. Uryuu looked up to see that a great sphere of crimson energy was beginning to form.

_...shit. Cero._

"Can you conve-" Uryuu cut himself short as he stared at it, the beginnings of a plan beginning to formulate in his mind. "Alright, just... get back."

Rin hesitated. "But... Orion-sama, the cero will completely - "

"I'll be fine, okay?" he interrupted, trying to ignore the sick feeling at the bottom of his stomach. "Just... get clear. And make sure nobody else gets hurt!"

The shinigami hurried off to a good distance.

_It's simple, really. Just another form of reiatsu. All I need to do is convert that into a more useful form, one that I can use... except this is probably suicide..._

He concentrated, reaching out with his senses for the churning mass of energy like a massive snarl of thread, just as the cero was fired and then there was no more time to _think._

Uryuu pulled.

* * *

Kisuke had already started sprinting by the time the Gillian had begun charging up its attack, starting the incantation for Danku. He had hoped to avoid having to purify the Gillian and reveal his own location, but Uryuu's life was more important than hiding from Sosuke Aizen. Besides, that man had probably already figured out where he was, and it wasn't as if he couldn't just up sticks again to evade Seireitei, like he'd done a few years back.

Unfortunately, by the time he came close enough to be able to cast the bakudo over the target, the Gillian had already blasted its attack at Uryuu.

_Ryuuken is going to kill me for this. I just managed to get his son killed... _he thought in a daze, before he noticed something strange. The crimson light was twisting visibly, becoming paler and changing into crystal-blue, condensing around the form of a human before being sucked in entirely.

_...he just... absorbed the cero?_

* * *

Uryuu opened his eyes.

_...I'm still alive?_

He felt... pretty good. Great, actually, all things considered. The Gillian was staring down at him, apparently confused by what had happened to an attack that would normally have obliterated most targets. Suddenly, it didn't seem all that terrifying any more. Just another hollow, a particularly stupid one.

There was energy buzzing under his skin, a lot of it.

_Why not return that attack to this thing with interest... _Yes, that seemed like a pretty good idea. He'd make it _pay_ for its impudence in trying to scratch his skin.

Uryuu grinned, or, rather, bared his teeth. His vision was closing in, but it didn't really bother him much. Everything seemed so much _simpler _now; just the Gillian and he. He had no intention of dying whatsoever, not when he'd only just starte -

And then blackness.

* * *

Kisuke caught Uryuu, feeling only mildly guilty about knocking the boy out. It was better this than having a severe incident later on, although that still seemed likely to happen; he wasn't at all sure what situation the boy would be in when he came to, although given the way he'd been acting...

_Not to mention the eyes, _he thought as he glanced up at the Gillian.

Carefully, he laid the unconscious boy down on the ground, before twisting the handle of his cane off.

Unlike most canes, this one did not dismantle to reveal wood, but rather a long, straight blade attached to the handle.

_I suppose I will just have to move again... and I'd just got everything sorted out, too._

"Sic 'em, girl."

He blinked. He was pretty sure that _something _had spoken, although the voice was a bit distorted. In fact, it sounded an awful lot like Ichigo Kurosaki.

And then a lizard leapt through the air to land on the Gillian's head. It opened its mouth, before biting the larger hollow.

Kisuke was not quite sure entirely _how _the creature managed to eat the giant hollow within half a minute, remaining the same size throughout the entire process, but it did so nonetheless as Ichigo Kurosaki came through the garganta, followed by someone wearing both shinigami robes and a goat-like hollow mask.

_Another Visored? _he wondered briefly, before the Vasto Lorde stopped just short of his face. _Ah... this could be bad._

"What did you do to Uryuu?" Ichigo asked bluntly.

"I knocked him out."

"Why?"

"I was afraid that he might exacerbate his current condition... unfortunately, right now he isn't stable. I'm going to have to take him to the Urahara Shoten. I'll explain more completely there."

For a fraction of a second, Kisuke thought that Ichigo might actually attack him. However, he simply shrugged as the other, more reptilian hollow padded over.

"Whatever."

"In that case, would you and your friends like to come with me?"

* * *

"Holy shit," muttered Keigo under his breath.

'Holy shit' was probably about the right description for it, Tatsuki thought. First there had been that massive hollow towering over everything else, and then it'd charged up before firing some kind of laser beam at Ishida. She hadn't been entirely sure how destructive it was, but it had certainly _looked _pretty bad. Then he'd done something, and it had all turned blue and vanished before a lizard came out of the hole and ate the giant hollow in an impressive display of gluttony.

_...and _that_ is what we have to fight?_

* * *

Rukia shut her eyes. She'd cried out when the cero had been fired, except that there had been nothing that she could do apart from being useless whilst watching someone close to her cut down. Even more so than that time with Kaien-dono - at least then she had been able to use her zanpakuto to put his soul to rest... or so she had thought at the time.

_Have I cursed everyone I become close to?_

She'd seen Uryuu's eyes when he'd supposedly blacked out earlier. While he might have been unconscious, they had still been open enough for her to see the tendrils of black creeping across. And again, just then when he had stopped the Menos's cero...

_I have to leave,_ she eventually decided._ Somewhere I can't hurt anyone any more._

* * *

Reishi Yuuisei - Hikui (霊子 優位性 - 低い): Reishi Dominance (Lesser). The user is capable of deconstructing reiatsu-based attacks in order to fortify their own reserves and amplify attacks. Complete reishi dominance is an extremely high-level technique normally reserved for the Quincy _Letzt Stil_, but certain aspects of it can be utilized under other circumstances. It can be used to completely nullify reiatsu-based attacks given time. The time taken to do so depends partially on the strength, but mainly on the _complexity_ of the attack. As such, a hollow's cero or shinigami's Sokatsui is much simpler to deconstruct than a bakudo of equivalent power, since the former are consisted of almost pure compressed reiatsu. However, it is almost impossible to do this against certain types of reiatsu-based attack which are nigh-instantaneous in their application, such as Byakurai or Bala. It should also be noted that absorbing a hollow's reiatsu-based attack in such a manner is not recommended in _any_ circumstance.


	24. Abscond Aria

**This time on TWIBW: **Renji is a pervert, Uryuu is rational, Rukia is guilt-ridden, and Kisuke has an awful lot of explaining to do.

**A/N: **The only person who really knew Ichigo that well from before was Tatsuki, who is already aware of his existence as a hollow because Uryuu explained it to her after the whole Grand Fisher debacle. So there won't be anyone freaking out majorly... yet. (Until they find out that he isn't actually human, at least.)  
Aizen is not going to be brought up yet, simply because Ichigo hasn't made the connection. Grand Fisher was sent to search for an 'unusual reiatsu signature', as far as he knew; he was entirely unaware of the nanothingies that Szayel dumped in his body, and the information that was gathered in that way. He has absolutely no idea about the Hougyoku, nor of its location (which is still in Rukia's soul).

Also writing times are liable to be utterly screwed up in the near future as my life is _still_ FUBAR. :U

* * *

"Ugh."

Uryuu stared at the ceiling. For some reason, everything seemed to be blurred, unfocused, and he wasn't lying on his bed but a rollout mattress by the feel of the thing.

"You're awake." There was a considerable amount of relief in the voice.

He rolled over, looking up at a red-white-orange-black blur before groaning.

"Where are my glasses?"

Ichigo handed them over wordlessly; Uryuu returned them to their proper position, bringing the world into focus and revealing that he was in the back room of the Urahara Shoten, from the looks of things. There was a hollow rather like a Komodo Dragon complete with odd frill on its mask, curled up tightly in the corner of the room with its one visible eye balefully watching him.

"You feel okay?"

"I - " Uryuu considered this question. He didn't feel any sensations of _pain_ especially, but there was an odd sensation of barely repressed energy under his skin, as if he'd drunk a bucketful of coffee with sugar earlier or something. "I'm fine. What happened? Why am I here? Is everyone else okay?" He noticed the unfamiliarly serious expression on Ichigo's face. "Ichigo? Talk to me."

"I, uh..." Ichigo shifted awkwardly. "I think Sandal-Hat'd better explain it."

"What!" Uryuu sat bolt upright. "Is someone injured?" _Oh god, there were a lot of hollows around, weren't there? And Arisawa-san's reiatsu is above average, they'd have targeted her and I didn't even see her or think to check up on her after I left -_

_Calm down! It's nothing like that, it's about you -_

_...what about me?_

The door slid open.

"Ah... you're up." Urahara looked tired as he lifted the brim of his hat to inspect Uryuu properly.

"What happened? I don't remember anything after I stopped the Gillian's cero..." His voice trailed off at the expression on the shopkeeper's face.

_He's looking at me as if I've got cancer or something..._

"You didn't tell him?"

"No," Ichigo spoke quietly. "I... wasn't really sure how best to explain it."

Urahara winced.

"I'll get to the point, in that case. When I found you, your reiatsu was in a highly unstable state due to the fact that you had apparently, ah... _absorbed _a Gillian's cero. To put it bluntly, the overload of hollow reiatsu through your system should have killed you."

"_What?_!" _I'm not dead! There's no way I can just be dead! Or is that why I blacked out, because my soul left my body and then - _He glanced down at his chest._ No, I don't have the Chain of Fate broken. So then what..._

"However, the reason you're not dead is because your body was already partially adapted to hollow reiatsu, and the overload caused by the cero just... exacerbated things a bit. You, ah... hollowified. In a sense."

Uryuu stared at Urahara for a few seconds, before he started patting down his face frantically and taking his shirt off.

"Since you're not dead, though, it isn't exactly visible on the outside. I have a suspicion that if I were to eject you from your body right now - " the end of Urahara's cane swung up to point at him, causing Uryuu to flinch - "you would probably have a highly corrupted Chain of Fate. I suppose you could say that you hollowified partially, without actually dying in the first place."

"How the hell does that even _happen?_" Uryuu asked, frowning.

"With an ordinary human, that would be completely impossible since they would not have sufficient reiatsu for such a possibility to occur before death. In someone with higher spiritual pressure, though, the hollowification would not be able to occur _completely_ because of the body acting as a preventative measure. Emotional trauma can sometimes cause it to happen, but overexposure to hollow reiatsu works as well. Since you also happen to be a Quincy, and therefore heavily reliant on reishi... well."

Ichigo stared at the floor.

"This is my fault, isn't it."

Uryuu scowled at him. "Don't say that. It isn't your fault, nobody could have known about something like that, least of all you."

_Besides... if you hadn't done something... I'm pretty sure I'd be dead several times over._

Ichigo looked up at Uryuu, meeting his gaze.

_Stop angsting over it. There's nothing you can do about the matter anyway._

_I'm not... oh, whatever. _Ichigo huffed, averting his eyes.

"Is there anything you can do?" _Short of putting a zanpakuto through me._

"...there are ways to keep it under control," Urahara replied eventually. "Although I'm not sure how well it'd work with you, since you're still alive."

..._there were others? Shinigami? How did they end up like that... Rin said he was the founder of the scientific research bureau or something like that, and he was ordered to call down a Gillian on Karakura Town for the sake of gathering data, even if he wasn't aware of what he was doing, but inducing hollowification in someone _deliberately?

"You never mentioned why you left Seireitei," Uryuu commented guardedly as the shopkeeper's eyes flickered. "It was because you did this to other people, wasn't it?"

Urahara stared, casual demeanour gone completely. "I..."

"I doubt they'd exile someone for something as simple as a murder, although I might be wrong. Who was it? Someone you knew? And how many were there?"

The shopkeeper's eyes shut.

"Just one," he whispered. "Let me explain. Then you can leave, if you like. I won't be staying here much longer anyway."

Uryuu realised he was standing up. Reluctantly, he sat down again, without taking his gaze away from Urahara. Ichigo had shifted slightly; the other hollow was now fully awake, watching intently.

"I was considerably younger when I went to the Shinigami Academy... probably not the most social person in the world, but I still made friends, and eventually we entered the Gotei 13 together. One of my friends was probably one of the brightest in the generation - he ended up getting a seated position pretty fast, and they sent him out to the Living World for a mission. There were strange signals they were getting from some of their equipment, and they didn't have the same technology the Scientific Bureau does today, so they sent him to find out what was going on." Urahara sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It turned out that there was a group of humans trying to gain immortality, become like gods. Except that the only thing they knew of the afterlife were hollows, which could regenerate. They managed to capture one using a form of kido - oh, they weren't the Quincy," he added, catching Uryuu's expression. "_They_ would never have done something like that. The humans I'm talking about were just people who had managed to develop some level of spiritual ability above that of normal humans. Anyway... my friend managed to infiltrate their ranks, but... eventually they found out who he was. That he was shinigami, not human. And he became part of their experiment. They made him hollowify, as a test to see if it would work."

"And did it?" Uryuu asked quietly.

"...in a sense, I suppose. He hollowified, except he was pretty powerful in the first place and the humans lost control. The hollow he became killed all the humans that had been there, and the backup arrived too late to do anything. He escaped, and I was... we were pretty close to each other. I was smart, I thought I could help him, find a way to reverse the hollowification, so I managed to create something I thought would do that. Except I needed to test if it was safe first, so I used a shinigami first. A willing volunteer."

Urahara's eyes flickered open for a brief second, blackness beginning to bleed into the sclera before they returned to their original shade.

_...he used something like that on himself?_

"It worked. In fact, it did much more than I expected," he said, heavily. "Unfortunately, by the time they caught up with him, he had become an Vasto Lorde. He'd been at lieutenant rank in the first place, and... the captains had no choice but to cut him down after that. There wasn't enough time."

"Do you still have it? The hollowification reversal device?" asked Ichigo quietly, startling Uryuu out of his thoughts.

The shopkeeper glanced at him, expression inscrutable once more. "No. I've been trying to destroy the thing for a while. I eventually managed to get rid of it, but... Anyway, after that, my captain gave me time off for stress. Eventually, I managed to regain control of myself, and came back, became a captain for a few years before there was another incident. There had been shinigami vanishing, and in the end, it turned out that someone had been forcibly hollowifying captains and lieutenants that were sent to investigate." Urahara hesitated for a fraction of a second. "His name was Sosuke Aizen."

A brief jolt of surprise came through the mental link, before turning into anger.

_Kurosaki? _Uryuu asked tentatively.

_...it's nothing. I'll tell you about it later._

"I managed to stabilize them all, but not before _he_ managed to incriminate me for all of his actions. They sentenced me to execution, so... I decided that discretion was the better part of valour, and went into voluntary exile."

"That's why you're leaving?"

Urahara nodded. "Unfortunately, I can't rely on Tsubokura-san keeping quiet, although admittedly he _did _refuse to tell me anything about you when I inquired. He asked whether or not I was part of the Omnitskidou counter-conspiracy."

"Ah..." He winced. "I may have made that part up."

The shopkeeper tapped his chin thoughtfully with the end of a closed fan. "I _did_ wonder about why he was referring to you as 'Orion-sama' all the time."

"Where is he?" Uryuu asked anxiously.

"I sent him back. He told me to inform you that he has sucessfully taken care of all the records for you, so there won't be any issues."

"My friends?"

"I politely requested they go home. They were rather frantic when you didn't wake up at first, you see... you should probably call them. I'll get back in touch with regards to that before I leave, by the way."

Uryuu hesitated. There were still questions he wanted to ask, but... _It can wait._

"Fine."

* * *

Rukia finished the final touches to her specially coded note for Uryuu. Kai was currently snoozing on top of the bed and hadn't woken up, so he wouldn't be chasing after her. As for Ichigo and Uryuu... well... it wasn't as if they'd miss her all that much anyway. Shinigami and hollows did not belong together, and Uryuu's original discomfort at her presence had been tangible. Nobody would miss her after memories had been wiped.

_"...Kuchiki-kun, would you like to share some lunch with me?"_

_"R-really? You don't have to, Inoue-kun - "_

_"It's okay! You can call me Orihime since we're friends, and you didn't seem to have anything packed, unless you wanted to get something, but that would be okay too - "_

_...no. I can't get nostalgic like this. Besides, Seireitei will wipe their memories anyway. They'll be happy._

She nodded decisively to herself, setting the note on her closet. All the clothes that Uryuu had made her had been neatly folded away, except for the flower-dotted dress she was currently wearing.

_So why do I feel like this? I'm a shinigami. I shouldn't need emotions for humans like this..._

Locking the door behind her and posting the spare keys she'd been lent back through the letterbox in an envelope, she left. Seireitei was coming for her soon enough, Rukia knew. The hunters would be coming for her, to find out why she hadn't been reporting in. Although the explanation was reasonable enough, if they dug too deep into her story and found out about her association with a Menos-class hollow, then Kuchiki or not, she would be condemned to death without fail. Not to mention that she had some suspicions about the shopkeeper who had so conveniently turned up to offer her a gigai...

* * *

Renji looked around with the goggles provided by the 12th Division whilst his captain waited.

_These things are definitely badass. I've got to get some of these permanently when I get some free time... Although, _he noted with a tinge of regret, _they probably won't be as cool as these. I mean, x-ray vision, reiatsu perception and a whole ton of other features I haven't even tried out yet? Seriously? They'd probably be super expensive... Now where the hell has Rukia got to?_

One figure stood out, running alone down the street.

"Back similarity is 113, nerve integrate percentage is 88.5, artificial bones inside the body, wow... and the measurements... 100% match!"

Renji smirked.

_Found ya... Rukia._


	25. Butterflight

**This time on TWIBW: **Renji is a pervert, Uryuu is rational, Rukia is guilt-ridden, and Kisuke has an awful lot of explaining to do.

**A/N: **I promised myself this scene would get written, no matter what. It took a bit longer than I originally expected, though. Also, I broke up the chapters incorrectly, I think... the timeskip should really have come in between the plot-explanation part and Rukia's little runaway scene. I might do a merger later.

Hollows eat souls. I suspect that gikongan, being compressed souls, would probably taste _especially_ delicious to a hollow, like eating standard candy. The reason Kai hasn't been digested is because Ichigo was in his gigai at the time, and failed to bite down. It all makes perfect sense. :B

There will eventually be a Draco Vigilans chapter, just because the name is cool. Peahen-bastard is going down so hard it's untrue.

Also good grief we've nearly hit the 200 mark! I wanna get all the way to 256, though...

* * *

Uryuu Ishida adopted his sternest possible face, resolute in the face of whatever Earth could throw at it.

"No."

Ichigo Kurosaki countered with the supernatural puppy-dog expression which could triumph over all. "Come on, it's not like it's going to be that bad!"

The Quincy raised an eyebrow at the adjuchas, which was currently half-buried in one of Urahara's stock boxes marked 'Gikongan'. Its back half was sticking out as it rummaged around with its front paws, making a distinctly worrying crunching noise as it did so.

Ichigo looked slightly sheepish. "I guess I could housetrain her?" he volunteered, just as Urahara himself entered the room with a large bottle of medicine.

"It should just be one pill per day, and there should be enough for - " he began, before noticing Uryuu's current subject of attention. "Ah."

"I'll get her out, it's fine!" Ichigo grabbed Kitty around the stomach before yanking the lizard out of the box. The process was made considerably more difficult by the fact that Kitty's claws were hooked into the box, causing it to be dragged along the floor.

Uryuu facepalmed.

_Knowing my luck, Kuchiki-san's probably managed to blow up the kitchen while I wasn't there..._

The lizard was finally detached from the now thoroughly shredded box, the end of a gikongan dispenser still sticking out of the corner of its mouth.

"...my... gikongan supply..."

* * *

Needless to say, Uryuu and Ichigo left the shop post-haste before Urahara actually snapped for once. Kitty had been summarily dismissed, the hollow returning back to Hueco Mundo with as doleful a look as it could manage. Ichigo didn't talk for a while; Uryuu suspected that he was sulking at the loss of the 'pet'.

_I am not sulking! __I was just thinking about Aizen..._

_I did wonder about that name. You knew it before?_

_...the hollows in Hueco Mundo. They said someone was offering power. Turning hollows into arrancar for an army, so they could wipe out the shinigami._

Uryuu blinked as he considered the implications of this. Arrancar were practically a myth, at least to the ordinary hollows in Hueco Mundo from what Ichigo had once said, and held a considerable amount of power.

_Shit._

_That... was pretty much my reaction, yeah. And Sandal-Hat said he created something that reversed hollowification, and he'd gotten rid of it. He didn't say what happened to it, though... but if it can make a shinigami gain hollow-like abilities, there's no reason why it can't do the reverse for a hollow and make them into an arrancar. Which means that this Aizen probably got his paws on that thing._

_You're absolutely certain there are arrancar?_

_I ran into one. He was a Gillian originally_, _one who said he was the ninth strongest. Gave me a little trouble, but I took care of it and grabbed his sword. Problem is, there's a lot of adjucha around, and I'm fairly sure the only reason that guy stayed in the top ten was because he had so many abilities, not because he was really powerful... by his admission, he was probably one of the weakest._

The Quincy considered this as he followed the familiar route back to his flat. _Well, it's not really something I can do much about. I'm not going up against someone who can go up against Urahara-san... I doubt I'd be able to take on an army of hollows, either. _He unlocked the door before making his way up the stairwell, his personal stalker following silently behind. _Not in my current condition._

"Nee-saaa - " The greeting was cut short as Kai flailed mid-flight, attempting to avert his inevitable collision with Uryuu's face.

He scowled, snatching the plush lion out of the air. "What is it?"

"Oh... I thought... maybe my nee-san came back... She left a note saying she was leaving, it's terrible! She should at least have taken me with her!" Kai shook a fabric fist at the injustice of the world.

Uryuu blinked. "Wait, she left?"

"Yes!" A piece of paper was thrust in his face as evidence. Uryuu unfolded it, inspecting the carefully calligraphed contents.

_Why is there a ridiculous-looking rabbit in the corner? It doesn't even look like a rabbit... 'this is a hint'? What kind of hint is this that makes even less sense than the actual text itself -_

"_I'm leaving, please don't follow me, go into hiding along with everyone else and don't worry about me. _Well, that... doesn't sound ominous. At all," Ichigo commented, peering over Uryuu's shoulder to inspect the note. "Oh, right. It's meant to be a _raccoon, _huh..."

"You can tell what that thing is?"

"Hey! Don't you dare insult my nee-san's drawing - " Kai landed on the ground as Uryuu dropped him suddenly.

"Eeeh? What's with that face?"

Uryuu reached for the door. "Stay here. Don't leave, no matter what."

"But - "

"_I said no matter what._"

"...fine," Ichigo conceded reluctantly. "But if you don't come back..."

Uryuu was already gone.

* * *

_You knew they'd be coming, ever since the start. Why are you acting so suprised? And why are they so late? Given that Urahara-san said she was a noble, shouldn't they have noticed before now?_

"Jeez... you've really lost your touch, haven't you, Rukia? Even though you're in that gigai..."

A shinigami with bright-red, ridiculously pineapple-shaped hair and tattooed eyebrows smirked down at Rukia Kuchiki.

Uryuu frowned, crouching on the rooftop. _He seems to know her... I suppose that may make things better or worse._

"Why the hell didn't you report in anyway? You got so carried away pretending to be human?"

"I..." Rukia bowed her head. "The trasmitter broke. I was unable to make the regular reports after I was attacked by a hollow. It drained away the majority of my reiatsu, so I was not able to pass back through the senkaimon as a result."

The redhead scowled. "Dammit Rukia... why can't you just tell us the truth? Only just got this damn mission because it had your name on it, and next thing I know people're saying shit about fraternizing with hollows, defecting and kami knows what - "

_Shit. But... I'm sure that nobody knew about Ichigo, other than herself. We haven't been monitored other than that... right?_

Rukia stared up at the other shinigami, eyes wide.

"They even brought Kuchiki-taicho to find you, they were worried you got chowed down on by a Menos or something!" He laughed nervously as the second shinigami, the one who had been staying back, moved to his coworker's side in a brief burst of shunpo.

"Byakuya... Nii-sama..."

_That's her brother?_

"Rukia." The white-coated man looked impassive; his subject of attention might as well have been a lump of rock for all the emotion displayed on his face.

"...very well. In that case, I will return with you back to Seireitei and account for my actions there." She bowed her head. "I apologise for causing you this inconvenience, Nii-sama."

"Wait," Uryuu spoke, sliding off the roof and landing in a crouch.

"_Uryuu?_! What're you doing here - "

The red-head's eyes narrowed. "You know this guy, Rukia?"

She turned to him, silently pleading. "Renji... please don't - "

"I am a Quincy. She was temporarily lodging with me whilst she was regaining her powers."

"...what the hell is a Quincy?"

_Ugh. Does _nobody_ know about us any more?_ He sighed mentally, preparing himself to rattle off the standard spiel once more, when the bescarfed shinigami cut in.

"They are a race of humans capable of perceiving and destroying hollows. They were all but wiped out two centuries ago; I suppose that could partially excuse your ignorance."

"Taicho... I'm sorry! I read the mission report carefully though, they didn't say anything about - "

Byakuya ignored Renji's wittering completely, attention fully focused on Uryuu now. "What I would be curious to know about is why you are stepping in now."

_...why am I doing this? For closure, I suppose..._

"Out of personal concern for an acquaintance," he replied, finally. "While I appreciate that she does not belong here, it's still worrying to hear someone being punished for a crime that hasn't even been commited in the first place."

Renji hesitated. "There's... I dunno. There'll probably be an appeal or something, why the hell do you even care in the first place - "

"Just tell me what's going to happen."

The redhead suddenly looked a lot more human as he closed his eyes, swallowing convulsively at the thoughts going through his head.

"The way they were talking... she's probably gonna end up executed or something."

Uryuu's heart skipped a beat. "Without a trial? I can testify if I need to, it's not like - "

"You don't understand!" Renji shouted, before calming down. "There's nothing you can do for her, you're just a human and if you start messing around and shit it'll just make things even _worse_ for her. Stay out of it."

"So I should just let her die, then?"

Renji didn't reply as the other shinigami shifted slightly.

"Stand down, Quincy." Byakuya stared him down. "The affairs of the shinigami are nothing to do with you, at any rate."

Uryuu hesitated, before nodding and stepping back reluctantly. Rukia had a pleading expression on her face; given the note that had been left, she'd anticipated something like this and had wanted both him and Ichigo well out of the entire affair. _Going back and leaving her to her fate would be the sensible thing. I never wanted her here in the first place, there's absolutely no reason why I should show any concern over her death._

_...damn it._

Renji drew his sword, raising it before giving it a half-twist. A gate began to materialize around the blade, before drawing apart; Byakuya stepped through first, before his subordinate followed with one last glance at the Living World.

Rukia did not look back as she stepped through.

_Hopefully they'll be able to put together a decent case for her... I don't know what the judicial system is like in Seireitei, though._

He almost managed to convince himself that she would be fine without his interference. Almost, but not quite.

* * *

(In anticipation of the question which will probably be asked shortly: Operation Rescue Princess #1 is still go. Just... not in quite the same manner as the canon version.)


	26. Arc II: Rescue Princess 1

**A/N: **Various changes, some of which are of more importance to this story than others:

Love Psycho is now the official beta reader, as opposed to the _unofficial_ beta reader, and is helping me out quite a bit :P  
I am currently suspended from my university course on health grounds, which means my update times may be erratic  
This story is switching back to MS Word again, as opposed to Document Edit on FF dot net, which was a terrible idea anyway.

Ichigo has more reasons to go to Seireitei than just to help Uryuu. Kaien is still around (sort of). Jyuu-kun will _not_ be having a good day when he runs into Ichigo...

Yachiru/hollow!candyobsessed!Ichigo = lolwat. Also I think if that happened the sugar-high Vasto Lorde apocalypse would start.

Also about Ginrei Kojaku... Most of the Quincy bows are capable of firing large numbers of arrows at once if they have evolved sufficiently - both the Sanrei form and the Ginrei Kojaku have that, and I suspect that there would be others as well. Canon!Ishida didn't acheive those before using the Sanrei glove, but it's plausible that they exist. The visual description will probably be changed into something a bit more specific, though. xP

* * *

"What the hell happened to Rukia?"

Uryuu found himself the target of a series of _very _awkward questions the next day, with Tatsuki pinning him in a rather uncomfortable position against the wall.

"Tatsuki-chan... you don't need to be so - " started Orihime, just before Keigo barged into the classroom and lunged for him.

"URYUUUUUU!" he wailed, sobbing. "Why didn't you ever tell me that you were mmph mmph mmph - "

Fortunately, nobody batted an eyelid when he managed to clamp both hands around Keigo's mouth, thereby preventing any further possible disasters.

"She left, unfortunately. Family issues back home," he replied. "Asano-san, if I let go, will you wait until later?"

Keigo nodded, insofar as such a thing was possible with the stranglehold keeping him in place. Uryuu let go.

_His reiatsu is above what it was yesterday... not just his, either. All of them.  
_

"Good morning, Ishida-san."

_Is it just me or is his voice slightly colder than I remember?_

There was a beep from his mobile phone as a text arrived.

_You have a lot of explaining to do, Ishida-san._

He winced.

* * *

"So she's gone back home? That's good, right?" Keigo asked over lunch. Unusually, there were girls present, and even more unusually, Keigo wasn't attempting to chat up Orihime or Tatsuki, but actually managing to be semi-serious for once.

"Well..." Uryuu hesitated. "Actually, the people who took her said that she was going to be punished. Maybe even executed."

"WHAT!" Tatsuki yelled, causing more than a few heads to turn in their direction. "I mean... what, they're just going to let that happen? What'd she even do?"

"They wouldn't tell me," replied Uryuu grimly. "It might be an internal matter." _I'm pretty sure that nobody was certain about Ichigo's presence, or why would they send a shinigami to find out about it?_

Orihime looked troubled. "We can't just leave her there... not after everything she did for us without us even knowing." She glanced at Uryuu briefly.

"You think we should break in to get her?"

Uryuu blinked, staring at Mizuiro in surprise, who shrugged.

"What? It's not like I can just let the love of my life go die such a tragic death without even managing to - "

"Okay, stopping that line of conversation _right there,_" interrupted Tatsuki. "How the hell would we even get there anyway?"

He contemplated the question. _Obviously Ichigo can create garganta, but... even so... passing through to Seireitei that way is dangerous. And I'm pretty sure that wouldn't do anything good to a physical body. You'd die if you tried something like that. __Not to mention that place is probably littered with sensory equipment to ensure that hollows don't get too close... although Urahara-san might have a back door if he worked for them once._

"I have an idea..." Grudgingly he added, "I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be a good idea for you to come as well though."

In retrospect, that had _not_ been a good thing to say at the time.

"Are you saying I'm not strong enough to kick your ass - ?"

"You're not going alone."

"Uryuu, how can you be so cold as to abandon us all on the quest to rescue the beautiful Kuchiki-chan - "

"But I can't just let you go on your _own_, Ishida-kun, you might get hurt - "

"I'm hardly going to let you save the lovely Kuchiki-san. Otherwise you'll be stealing her first kiss, and I can't have that - "

"_Fine!_" he yelled, annoyed. "Is that supposed to make me feel better if you all get yourselves killed? Besides, they only said that she'd be punished and there _might_ be an execution, it wasn't a certanity."

There was silence as he bit into his lunch with renewed gusto, ignoring the intensity of the stares coming from every direction.

Finally, he caved in. "I'll let you know if anything else comes up. Alright? But we are _not_ breaking into a heavily guarded fortress through the front door."

_It's a ridiculous idea anyway...  
_

* * *

Kisuke frowned. The new arrival, a shinigami named Ashido Kano, was quiet, but efficient. He had been extremely helpful in assisting the packing up of the various stock items, accepting of the various quirks of the inhabitants of the shoten - and, most importantly, of the fact that there was an ex-captain there in the first place.

It was something of a relief, what with everything else he had to worry about at the time being.

The option that he had chosen - finding a random shinigami and sending them off to what was probably certain death by Soukyoku in the hope that the Hougyoku might be destroyed in the process - was looking altogether less attractive. It might have helped his piece of mind if the shinigami sent had been a complete and utter jerk. It would have made him feel considerably better if the shinigami sent hadn't managed to get hopelessly tied up with Uryuu Ishida, as well. That boy seemed to be a trouble magnet... and then there was the matter of the partial hollowification.

The medicine had been designed to mend the corroded Chain of Fate for a Quincy. The problem tended to be quite common, due to their ability to absorb reiatsu - which, more often than not, had originated from hollows. None of the previous people he'd given it to had ever reached the extent where it could be considered actual hollowification, though.

He briefly considered sending the boy to the Visoreds, before dismissing the idea as foolish. He didn't have Shinji's current address, and was pretty sure that removing a partially hollowified non-shinigami from their body would _not_ result in anything good.

_Besides, I can see that conversation going well. 'Where the hell has my son's reiatsu signature gone?' 'Oh yes, I sent him to a highly introverted group of shinigami-hollow hybrids for training.' I'd be lucky to keep my head on my shoulders, and that's before Uryuu-kun himself finds out about what I did with the Hougyoku. _Kisuke winced at the thought of getting turned into a porcupine.

The door opened, revealing Ururu lifting up a cat for inspection. A black cat, in fact.

"Mr. Urahara... it tried to come in..."

"Ah, Yoruichi-san! So good to see you!" he sang, reaching out to grab his apparently feline companion before lowering her to the ground. Ururu left the room to continue with her chores as Kisuke retreived a saucer from the kitchen, filling it with milk and setting it down.

The cat's head dipped down to the saucer, lapping up the liquid until the dish was clean again.

"How bad was the damage?"

Kisuke shrugged, outwardly nonchalant. "They sent Kuchiki-taicho and his new fukutaicho along. Fortunately, at least Uryuu-kun had the sense to stay out of direct combat. He let them both take Rukia Kuchiki without a fight."

Yoruichi's eyes narrowed. "What about _him?_"

"Our dear friend brought along a voluntary exile to work here. Other than that, he hasn't been doing much lately." _Apart from ruining my supply of gikongan..._

"There's something you're not telling me." A set of sharp claws slid out. "Are you going to answer or do I have to interrogate you?"

_Oh, great. She is not going to like being forced to move again._

* * *

Ichigo had been preoccupied recently, it seemed to Uryuu. The hollow had been using his gigai considerably more than previously, preoccupying himself with menial tasks and writing more than was usual. _Actually, come to think of it... I don't think he's left the Living World _once_ since Rukia left_.

He stiffened at the sense of a shinigami's reiatsu brushing distantly against his senses. _The redheaded shinigami? What is he doing back here?_

Uryuu waited in his room, closing his eyes and fully focused on the movement of the distant Renji. He was moving erratically, wandering without purpose. There were no hollows around with perceptible reiatsu.

_So why is he here?_

"I'm going out," he declared, standing up and resigning his algebra to be completed the next day.

Ichigo didn't even turn around in response, still scribbling in his notebook. Uryuu huffed slightly at the lack of attention, before turning to leave.

* * *

By the time he'd found Renji, the shinigami was sitting on a park bench. There was nobody else around; the way his shoulders were hunched over didn't give Uryuu a good feeling.

Renji looked up as he approached. The shinigami looked... _beaten,_ Uryuu eventually decided. _As if -_

"They're gonna have her executed," he said quietly.

_...shit._

"No trial?"

Renji shook his head mutely, scowling, before the words all came out in an unrestrained rush. "They wouldn't even tell me what she'd done for this to _happen_, just that there was some shit about hollows and betraying the Gotei 13 or something like that, but she'd never... And then when I asked her, she wouldn't tell me anything either. She was just silent all the time, she wouldn't even _speak_ to me - What the hell happened while she was here?"

Uryuu scowled. _This is a complication I could really do without. Not to mention he'll probably ask awkward questions..._

_So invite him back here. At least I can... uh... persuade him or something._

He nearly spluttered out loud. _What are you, insane?_!_ What if he notices what you are? Having another shinigami find out about you isn't -_

_Relax, I'm in my gigai, and Kai isn't exactly incriminating evidence. You can just pretend that he's a specially made gikongan that you dumped in a plushie for the time being. It's even almost true!_

_...for the record, this is a terrible idea._

_He's a friend of hers. He isn't going to do anything liable to incriminate her further... hopefully.  
_

Uryuu glanced around, wondering whether there were other, hidden cameras and sensors that Rin hadn't known about. He finally settled on a decision.

"You should probably come with me."

* * *

The atmosphere was not quite at the level to require cutting with a zanpakuto. Nevertheless, it was still a pretty close-run thing.

Kai had run off to Rukia's old closet, claiming that he missed the smell of his 'Nee-san', but more probably because of the fearsome-looking shinigami who had followed Uryuu in. Ichigo himself had to admit that the shinigami - Renji Abarai, apparently - did not look particularly prepossessing. It was probably the tattoos and the scowl, really.

Ichigo briefly amused himself through the silence by sipping tea and wondering how far the ridiculous-looking jagged tattoos extended down the man's body, and if, rubbing hard enough with a pencil eraser, they might come off eventually. This resulted in an interesting sputter from Uryuu, who had just taken a mouthful of tea.

Renji started. "You okay?" he asked, as the Quincy coughed in an attempt to clear his lungs of the hot beverage.

"I... yes, it's... breathed... went the wrong way..." Uryuu managed, red-faced.

"Sorry." Renji sighed, running a hand through his spiked-up hair. "Ah, dammit, I can't do this! What happened to Rukia?"

Ichigo shrugged. "I wasn't the one to see her last. You tell me."

The shinigami gave him a nervous glance, before looking back to Uryuu.

"I don't know... she didn't say anything on the way back. After that, Kuchiki-taicho just said that they'd be keeping her in 6th Division for the time being. And then the messenger came saying that they were going to have her moved to the Shrine of Penitence. Before they execute her."

Ichigo leaned forward, suddenly intent. "They're actually going through with it, then?"

"I... yeah. Kuchiki-taicho wouldn't even let me speak up for her or anything..." Renji stared at the mug, as if it would answer all the mysteries of life.

_Damn... I didn't think it would get this far. Granted, Byakuya became a bit of a douchebag after his wife died, but... it wasn't THIS bad..._

Ichigo mused over this bit of information. _Do you suppose we could break her out of there?_

Kaien was silent for a moment. _Maybe. I know Seireitei well enough, and you're strong enough although there might be some problems if we run into a captain. But that wouldn't make us able to get in again... maybe my Hell Butterfly, if it's still registered to my zanpakuto. But then that'll alert Seireiei if someone uses it... same with garganta too. And I don't think that using something like that will do any good to a human body._

_Damn. Urahara might have something though, if he's still around._

"Well," Ichigo spoke out loud, with a slightly maniacal grin. "There's only one solution to this, then, right?"

Renji stared. "What?"

"Obviously we have to break into Seireitei and rescue Kuchiki-san!" he continued, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Are you _insane?_" Renji burst out. "That place is an impenetrable fortress!"

"Ah, but we have an inside man, right?"

"Two, I think," spoke up Uryuu, frowning. "I... _might_ have accidentally convinced someone in the Research Bureau I was part of an onmitskidou conspiracy, whatever that meant, but he seemed willing to help."

"You'd still need an army to break in though. There's eleven other lieutenants as well, and on top of that, there're thirteen captains, and _they _all have bankai apart from Zaraki-taicho. Not to mention four of them are ancient. You'd die!"

_Unfortunately, he's right,_ Kaien chimed in quietly._ Although I used to be a lieutenant, I still couldn't defeat Ukitake-taicho on one of his good days... I can't believe he'd willingly have Kuchiki executed, though. But even if Kyoraku-taicho and Unohana-taicho side with him, that still leaves ten others, not including the fukutaichos.  
_

_Oh good.__ There'll be something of a challenge, then._

_...has Uryuu ever told you that you're pretty much insane?_

_Many times. I usually just ignore him._


	27. Resolution

**A/N:** Bluh bluh huge walloftext. There appears to have been some minor confusion, so please allow me to clarify some matters:

This entire story is written in third person, but many parts are from the rough perspective of various different characters. In general, the person whose PoV is used the most is Uryuu Ishida, although this changes occasionally. As a result, certain events which take place may be perceived from a skewed viewpoint. This is partly to give the story a little extra flavour, partly for filling out the characters a bit more, and partly for plot purposes.  
Example: When Rukia first meets Ichigo, she sees a monster that she believes is trying to kill her; when Ichigo is first introduced to the story by Uryuu, all he sees is a friend, without describing his appearance or even mentioning the fact that he is a hollow.

Ichigo Kurosaki is, in fact, a Vasto Lorde. Rukia has pretty much sussed this out, and Ichigo himself knows, but Uryuu is completely oblivious to this fact. Ichigo has never stated it explicitly, nor has he exposited greatly upon the evolutions of hollows, just giving Uryuu information about their powers and mental states. Thus, Uryuu has a vague idea of what these hollows are like, but is under the impression that Ichigo is an adjuchas (having never seen Ichigo's Gillian form, and Ichigo having never exerted his full powers in Uryuu's presence).  
Thus, if Kaien lends his strength (and Nejibana, a water-type elemental zanpakuto) to Ichigo, they would be able to put Yamamoto-Genryuusai to quite a bit of trouble. :B

For those who have read chapter 482, I am considering including revelations and terms that may be revealed shortly, since I don't really see the point of making up new terms when the 'official' names are going to be revealed shortly in canon. I'm also seriously considering a proper continuation of the story (as opposed to the epilogue I originally had in mind) post-Deicide... but this is quite a long way off, and if it does happen, it will probably end up being a sequel.

(Also... I ttly called it.)

* * *

"Dammit... why must it be so painful..." moaned Keigo, slumped over.

Mizuiro patted his friend gently on the back. "Don't worry, it'll be over shortly, Asano-san~"

"You're just adding to the torture!" he wailed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Alright, class." Ochi-sensei rapped her book against the desk, drawing everyone's attention and causing Keigo to jerk upright in his seat. "Whatever you do, remember to do all your homework - " there was a mass groan at this one - "although if you really want you can skip the stuff the other teachers set, make the most of your school holidays, 'cause they won't last forever and in a few years you'll have to go to actual work and won't be able to do stuff like that. Oh yeah... and have fun."

There was silence for a brief moment, before the mass scraping of chairs that traditionally heralds the official beginning of summer. Uryuu, of course, was among the last to get up, waiting until the initial rush had finished. Had anyone been paying particular attention that day, they might have noticed that all of the hangers-on were friends of Uryuu.

There was an expectant air as everyone waited.

Uryuu scowled. "They're going to have her executed."

"So... I guess that kills all my plans for this summer, huh?" Keigo attempted to lighten up the heavy atmosphere, only to have quite a large amount of killing intent focused in his direction.

"Don't worry, Asano-san... I would have gone snorkelling with Mari-san and all her girl friends, but we cannot possibly abandon the precious Kuchiki-san." Mizuiro bowed his head, clutching his hands to his heart passionately. "I would _never_ leave my first love to die in such a terrible manner!"

_Wasn't his first love some cute blonde chick who worked at the convenience store? _wondered Keigo, before deciding it was probably best to keep his mouth shut.

"How're we going to get to her, then?" asked Tatsuki, frowning. "Given she's a shinigami I doubt it's easily accessible for normal people."

"Urahara-san should be able to provide some adequate means of transport, if I ask nicely." Uryuu adjusted his glasses, sending a shiver down Keigo's spine as he wondered precisely what 'asking nicely' would involve. "Beyond that, I should be able to plan adequately. Or at least get enough information to plan adequately."

_Why are all my friends scary..._

"Right now, my plan mainly consists of my creating a distraction whilst you go in and get her," he continued.

Keigo decided to push the boat out, raising his hand to ask a question. "Excuse me, but... why are we doing all the dangerous stuff?"

"That isn't the dangerous stuff. I'm going to be the one grabbing the attention of thirteen taichous and fukutaichous. _All at once._"

There was a heartbeat's horrified silence, before Tatsuki broke it.

"There is no way in hell I'm leaving you to do all that. Or are you trying to say that I'm weak?"

"Well, no, but it isn't really prudent to have someone who can't fight - " began Uryuu, before Tatsuki punched him in the stomach. Hard.

"I fought off one of those damn hollows when you weren't there. The others did too. And you're saying I'm - _we're -_ not strong enough?"

"Aaah..." Keigo felt compelled to interrupt at this point. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I couldn't do much to kill anything and I didn't really_ do _much."

_And I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it again right now... but that creepy shopkeeper guy _did_ say he'd help us if we wanted to learn more about that stuff._

"I'm pretty sure that Asano-san managed to turn invisible," commented Mizuiro thoughtfully. "Given it's probably going to be a stealth operation if we rescue Kuchiki-san, we'll need surprise on our side. It won't help if they just _see_ us walking into their prison."

Everyone stared.

_He... doesn't think I'm useless..._

"What?"

"Mizuiro…" Keigo started to get teary-eyed. "I knew you were my true friend really!" He lunged to envelop him in a hug, only to have his attempt evaded once more.

"Uhm… I'm not sure I could do that thing with the fairies again, though." Orihime fiddled with the hem of her skirt, frowning as she did so. "It was more because I was worried about Tatsuki-chan, so it just… happened."

Uryuu hesitated. "Fine. I suppose we can sort out the details later… but I don't really know how to help you use that sort of thing."

"Well… the creepy geta-boushin dude _did_ offer to help us all," Keigo felt compelled to say.

"You mean Urahara-san?" Uryuu asked sharply.

"That… _might've _been his name, yeah."

Despite the fact that his friend's expression did not change one iota, Keigo still managed to get the impression that Uryuu was highly pissed at something. _Hopefully not me._

"In that case, I'll get in touch in a week. It'll probably take him a while to sort out something anyway…"

* * *

It didn't take long for Ichigo to settle into the trance-like state of mind involved in communicating with Kaien properly.

He returned to the midnight city to find the shinigami dozing underneath a tree. There was a mild drizzle, and the sky was clouded over, making it impossible to see the moon properly.

Kaien opened one eye. "Hey." He shifted, straightening up. "Something I can do for you?"

"You want Rukia Kuchiki to be safe as well." It wasn't really a question.

"Yes." The shinigami's eyes narrowed.

Ichigo hesitated. It wasn't so much that he _needed_ this, but… the repercussions if anyone found out that he was a hollow… _I can't always fight in this way. And especially not in Seireitei. The slightest flare of hollow reiatsu and I'll set alarms off everywhere._

"I want you teach me to fight like a shinigami."

* * *

Uryuu scowled. Ururu had opened the door for him before informing him that 'the owner' was not here yet and presenting him to Tessai, who had immediately given him tea and left him to the backroom. He grudgingly supposed that it was better than being left to wait outside the shop for ages, but still…

_Why does he have to wake up so late?_

"Ah, good morning, Uryuu-kun!" Urahara stifled a yawn with his fan as he walked in. "To be honest, I was wondering when you would be back… is the medicine working?"

He shrugged bad-temperedly. To tell the truth, he hadn't been able to tell any difference in his reiatsu, but it was hardly as if it was something that you could inspect for _yourself_ – he didn't have the equivalent of a mirror for that kind of thing.

The shopkeeper sighed. "Well, I suppose it's only to be expected… it'll take a while to get any results." He frowned contemplatively for a few seconds, before refocusing on Uryuu's face. "I suppose you're after a gate to Seireitei?"

Uryuu blinked, before recovering. _Obviously this is Urahara-san… he probably keeps tabs on everything around here. Still, I don't really know whether it's good or bad that he knew what I was going to ask for…_

"You didn't come to Ichigo-kun first?" Urahara was watching him carefully.

"No." _Why would I? _"I'm pretty sure that the garganta that he uses to travel to Hueco Mundo is only useful if you're a spirit already… and I'm still alive."_ No offense, but that would be a recipe for disaster, _he added mentally as an afterthought.

_None taken, _came the mildly amused reply.

"You're quite right." The fan closed shut with a snap. "Living bodies aren't designed to go through worlds in such a way, so of course they end up… well…" Urahara winced. "Let's just say it would make a rather nasty mess."

Uryuu briefly recalled the exploding gigai incidents, before trying to forget again.

"Anyway, I should be able to build a special converter for you. It'll permit you to pass freely to Seireitei, converting your physical body into reishi rather than having your soul break it down in the process of travelling there. It will take time, however…"

"How long?" asked Uryuu guardedly.

"Two weeks."

"_What?_!" _She could be dead in two weeks! By the time we'd get there, we wouldn't even be able to find her!_

"Relax," Urahara said soothingly, patting Uryuu's shoulder. "There will be a month before the execution date, and I suspect I can speed up the process, but nonetheless, you shouldn't waste that time."

Uryuu stood up, making his way to the door only to be stopped by the end of the cane.

"I haven't finished yet. Due to my part in failing to protect Kuchiki-san," Urahara said sweetly, "I was going to offer to train you for the two weeks."

"But you're not a Quin-"

"Maybe, but your opponents here will be shinigami, not hollows… and there is something that I can teach that will be _extremely_ useful to you." The cane stayed in position; it suddenly seemed to be extremely sword-like.

_In other words, I don't have a choice._

"…my friends did mention that they would be along."

The shopkeeper waved a hand carelessly. "It's fine, Yoruichi will be able to deal with them~"

Uryuu gave up. "Fine. When do I start?"

Urahara beamed at him. "After breakfast."

He groaned.

* * *

Renji glanced through the bars of the prison. Rukia had her back to him still, silent and unmoving.

_Damn… why the hell did I even go to see him again? It's not like he can do anything about it. No matter what he says… he's still just a human. He wasn't even that helpful… and who was that friend? Rukia didn't mention anything about that guy, Ichigo._

His gaze lingered on her dark hair, shrouding the top of the chair's backrest as he reminisced about happier times, when they had run together in Rukongai, snatching food from the vendors in the outer districts and laughing together despite the harshness of the world.

_And now we're here, as shinigami, and they're gonna kill you… Rukia… I guess we really have come a long way. _

He silently resolved that he'd see her laugh again, no matter what. _Even if it takes going directly against Kuchiki-taicho to get you out… I don't care. I'll save you!_

* * *

"My, who'd have thought such a big cavern was down beneath the shop?" called Urahara in mock surprise. "There's even trees and sky down here! So realistic!"

"…the trees are all dead," pointed out Uryuu, in a flat tone.

Urahara leapt off the ladder, landing on the sand with a quiet _pfff _as a dustcloud went up from the impact. "My, Uryuu, you're so cruel… can't you even appreciate the length of time it took to create such a thing? The artistry it took to paint the ceiling? The – "

" – time it took to get planning permission for something this big?"

The shopkeeper gave him a put-out look. "What they don't know won't hurt them, after all. Besides, it's not dangerous to anyone, is it?"

"Unless they try building a basement," Uryuu muttered, not quite under his breath as he reached the end of the ladder, feet touching the ground.

Urahara clapped his hands together. "Anyway, shall we get to work?" he asked rhetorically.

_What is he going to have me do? I'm reasonable, but not good enough to keep up with an ex-taicho. No matter how long he's been away, he can't have been idle all that time…_

"You have thirty seconds. Think fast!"

"Wh-" he began to ask, just before a kido struck out, wrapping itself around his limbs.

_What is this… no, that's a stupid question. It's the same kido that Rukia Kuchiki used when we first met. A binding-type kido. He wants me to break out of this? Well, I suppose that's a useful skill to have against kido users, but how am I supposed to get started – _

"Fifteen seconds!" Urahara called cheerily, as he started retreating.

"Wait! Give me a hint!" Uryuu yelled, now deeply worried about what exactly would come next if he failed to break it in the thirty seconds provided.

"You did something very similar to this before. Ten seconds left~"

He struggled desperately with the kido, to no avail. _It's pinning me in place. How am I supposed to move with this on… _Uryuu's eyes widened as a thought struck him._ Of course! It works using reiatsu, if I can just disrupt the flow to where it's holding my body – _

"Time's up! Hado #32: Okasen."

A bright-gold bolt of fire materialized before the shopkeeper's palms.

Forcing some of his reiatsu through the palms of his hands, the bakudo shattered, releasing him just in time for the hado to hit him directly and set fire to his clothing.

Uryuu was sure that the shopkeeper was deriving a certain twisted pleasure from the entire scenario as he desperately rolled around on the sand in an attempt to put out the flames.

"Hado #31: Shakka-hou!"

_Oh for the love of – _

He started sprinting before the fireball could impact, putting a brief burst of hirenkyaku to good use. Uryuu slowed down, only to see the hado accelerating rapidly through a wide arc as it swung back towards him.

_…this is really going to suck, isn't it._

* * *

**_Quincy Q&A: Important world-shaking questions that must be answered!_**

[A dark room. Suddenly, a spotlight turns on, revealing URYUU ISHIDA in traditional QUINCY GARB, sitting down. His glasses reflect the light in an ominous manner.]

**URYUU:** Since some of you have been having some questions, I'll clear up matters for you.

[He clears his throat as he picks up a small slip of paper, reading it.]

**URYUU:** 'What is so fascinating about the notebook Ichigo keeps writing in?' Well...

[_Flashback. ICHIGO KUROSAKI, newly evolved into Vasto Lorde form, is pacing the apartment._]

**ICHIGO:** Dammit Uryuu! Why does your school take so long to finish? It's been - [checking clock] - ...okay, seventeen minutes since you left. But so _looooong_ and hey, his computer is still here!  
[ICHIGO logs on, sitting down on the office chair before beginning to browse the internet.]  
Wait, isn't this the link for that manga that Uryuu keeps raving about?

[_Skip to several weeks later and the electricity bill comes through._..]

**URYUU:** Ichigo.

**ICHIGO:** [not looking up from his MS Word document and TVTropes page, multitabbed] Yes?

**URYUU:** How much have you been using that computer recently?

**ICHIGO:** ...not that much, why?

**URYUU:** Fine, I'm officially changing the password on that thing.

**ICHIGO:** _What?_!

**URYUU:** [pointedly] You doubled our electricity bill for the last month. Get a notebook or something instead.

[Weeks further in the future (but not many), and ICHIGO KUROSAKI is scribbling furiously in his new notebook. The pictures therein are in the shojou style. A series about a bespectacled man features prominently, with the protagonist exchanging his soul for his deceased lover's in a gamble with capricious _DEATH_. There are also numerous one-shots and other stories, generally with a romantic focus. In addition to this are the odd M-rated violent stories.]

**URYUU:** ...I'm not sure he entirely forgave me for locking him out of the computer account, though. Recently I've been seeing an awful lot of romance involving myself, Kuchiki-san and Inoue-san... [_sotto voce_] So much for 'Any resemblance to persons living or dead'. [in normal tone] And yes, he does sell it all under the pseudonym PP. It does quite well, actually.

[URYUU coughs lightly. Some noise is audible from off-screen as he adjusts his glasses, picking up the list once more.]

**URYUU:** Anyway, next: 'Ichigo seems to have ADHD. Is this the case?' Let's put it to the test. [calling out] Ichigo?

[ICHIGO KUROSAKI slides open front of RUKIA KUCHIKI's closet.]

**ICHIGO:** Wow, it's dark in here. What've you got this torch hung up for anyway –

[URYUU lobs a bar of chocolate through the gap, causing ICHIGO to pounce upon it out of screen.]

**URYUU:** I think we can call that a definite 'yes'. Next: 'Will Uryuu be turning into a pimp - ' [sputtering, red-faced] Okay, we can stop here for now!

* * *

[Quincy Q&A! Now taking extra questions in review form! We don't mind if they're not world-shaking.]


	28. Obligatory Training Scene

**This time on TWiBaW: **More training sequence! Chad is still alive! Also totally accidental fanservice.

* * *

**A/N:** Questions answered in the QQ&A will be ones that are capable of being answered by the characters, for future notice. Since Uryuu and Ichigo aren't psychic, they can't tell you whether or not they're going to be super awesome powerful in the future or not. They'd probably like to think that they are already.

Uryuu is not currently capable of going _fully _hollow – those abilities are limited by his human body.

Shocking revelation: _being a pyro does not automatically confer fire resistance_.

also we need questions more questions

Also also TVTropes are the bane of working on a laptop connected to the Internet. My mild curiosity about the site led to about an hour spent looking up increasingly irrelevant things like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/CSI: Crime Scene Investigation crossovers.

* * *

"We're going to be taught by a _cat?_!"

The 'cat' in question inspected the children before her. Yoruichi had seen them all before, having followed Uryuu a few times in her wanderings. Tatsuki and Yasutora both met her approval – the former particularly seemed like her kind of student; hardworking and able to take the pain. Orihime would probably be fine, too, and the shortest boy, Mizuiro, hopefully wouldn't be too much trouble, but…

_That still leaves the matter of Keigo._

She decided to speak up. "This 'cat' knows more than enough to beat you up."

Everyone reacted more or less as expected; Tatsuki with initial surprise followed by acceptance, Orihime with plain acceptance – _not that I expected much else, she has quite a strong imagination – _Mizuiro with mild surprise, and Keigo flailing wildly. Yasutora's sparkly eyes were slightly worrying, but nothing she couldn't cope with.

"The first matter is to figure out how to get you to use those powers. You won't just be able to cross your fingers and hope that you can use it when you have to – you're going to need some kind of control."

"Maybe if we can focus hard enough it'll work…" Orihime assumed a high-concentration pose, making her look as if she were constipated. Keigo quickly followed suit.

_…I've really got my work cut out for me here, haven't I._

* * *

Uryuu Ishida was seriously regretting taking Urahara up on his offer. At first it hadn't been so bad, but then the rate of the bombardment had increased, up until the point where the shopkeeper was firing off one every other second. Not to mention the fact that they seemed to linger, leaving a colourful rainbow flame trail chasing after him. The prettiness did not detract from the fact that one of those fireballs had succeeded in burning quite a lot of his clothing, as well as singeing his hair.

He'd been staying still and dodging the blasts at the last second, in order to get them to impact with the ground. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure that these kido were a lot more powerful than the ones Urahara had been using earlier. Combined with the fact that he was running out of energy to perform hirenkyaku, and he was not in a good situation.

"You're not going to be able to figure out how to do it if you keep running, Uryuu-kun!" called out Urahara jauntily.

Uryuu saved his breath for running, as opposed to swearing at the man.

_Some advice would have been nice first. I mean, I could understand how to break the kido, but this… no, I suppose I could use the same principle. I'm not even sure HOW I got rid of the cero… If I just – _

A sphere of bluish-white flame sped towards him. Ducking, he materialized his bow before swinging it round to aim at the fireball, shooting it dead centre.

It exploded.

He stared at the spot where it had been, before his thought were rudely interrupted.

"Bakudo no. 61: Rikujokourou."

Six bars of light slammed into his body, pinning him in place. He struggled briefly, to no avail; the kido was firmly locked in place about his abdomen, keeping him trapped as the multi-coloured sphere hurtled towards him at terrifying speed.

Time seemed to slow down as the ball of flaming death approached, as if taunting him over his helplessness.

Regrettably, there was no moment of epiphany for Uryuu, more a wave of anger that poured into his body and froze his veins.

_I am going to kill that bastard shopkeeper._

* * *

Kisuke took care to decelerate the combination hado as it made its way towards Uryuu – he didn't want to burn the boy alive, after all. The Quincy was flagging quite a bit, and he was reasonably sure that the teenager's reserves were mostly depleted. _He won't be able to simply destroy this one in the same way as the others… _

Except that the hado was still going, and wasn't slowing down any further as it impacted. Rainbow fire exploded, raging about the impact site as Kisuke started sprinting, swearing under his breath as he did so –

Up until the point where the flames suddenly shimmered a crystalline blue, before contracting around a single stationary figure.

_Oh dear. That… does NOT look good._

"Bakudo no. 63: Sajo Sabuku."

The chains began winding around Uryuu, turning semi-transparent. A few seconds later, all remnants of the various kido flickered and were sucked inwards, before being snuffed out completely.

Kisuke belatedly remembered exactly how prissy the Quincy was about his personal appearance, especially his clothing, and that the boy was really quite excellent at holding a grudge.

As the vestigial traces of the smoke dissipated, the black bleeding across the sclera of Uryuu's eyes was very clear. What was considerably more worrying than that was the slight reiatsu cloak around his body; a faint blue shimmer about the skin, extending at the base of the spine and jutting out in places from the back. Much of his clothing had burnt away; the angry burns on the boy's body were healing up rapidly.

Uryuu crouched, no longer bothering with the bow. The shift in posture gave Kisuke just enough warning to get out of the way in time as the teenager lunged, hands extended to swipe.

Wasting no further time, he materialized his mask upon his face. Benihime, while an excellent weapon, wasn't suitable here since he didn't want to actually _kill_ the boy.

_You're not doing a terribly good job of that here, _drawled the sardonic voice of his inner hollow.

He didn't bother replying; a blue-white sphere of light was starting to condense in front of Uryuu's palm, and it was close enough to a cero to be worrying.

_Wait for it…_

The cero fired just as Kisuke leapt over it in a burst of enhanced shunpo, landing on top of Uryuu and pinning him to the ground effectively.

* * *

Uryuu was pissed.

_I could've died! That hurts like hell, and he burnt my second-best shirt – _

And then Urahara was sitting on his back.

"You complete and utter _bastard – _" Uryuu blindly lashed out behind him, attempting to get the shopkeeper off his back to no avail as his arms were pinned to his back. _Ichigo would have a field day on his romance novels if he could see this… oh god. Ichigo? You're not allowed to write that._

* * *

Fortunately, Ichigo was more concerned with other matters.

"Stop. You're doing it wrong, you're going to end up working against yourself if you keep swinging like that – " Kaien adjusted Ichigo's grip on the wooden practise sword. "Try again now."

Ichigo sighed. This whole 'fighting like a shinigami' thing was proving to be much harder than he had expected; they fought by relying much more on strategy and considerably less on instinct. The whole thing was quite irritating and made him wanted to throw the thing down in a huff.

_But still… I have to do this for Rukia and Uryuu. If I just barged in with an army of adjucha and Gillian, I'd just get a lot of people killed. It'd be too noticeable if a bunch of Menos Grande turned up on their doorstep._

He waited patiently as the ex-fukutaichou adjusted his posture, before returning to his initial position.

"Okay, that's about right. Let's start again…"

* * *

"Are you feeling better yet?" Urahara's voice sounded slightly scratchier than usual, although still as cheerful as ever, a fact that managed to infuriate Uryuu even more.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. Let me up," he growled.

"You don't sound perfectly fine. Are you going to try to kill me if I let you up?"

A resounding silence met Urahara's words.

"On the plus side," and the voice sounded slightly desperate now, "at least you managed to activate that ability, right?"

"…do you know how much it hurts to be burned alive?" Uryuu attempted to shift his arms from their current position, clamped behind his back.

"Yes, actually. Unfortunately I wasn't able to stop the kido in time."

"That still doesn't change the fact that you _set me on fire. Twice._"

He felt Urahara shift on his back, before one hand lowered down with a pill in it.

"Take it. It'll help."

Uryuu resisted the urge to bite the man's fingers out of spite, instead swallowing the pill. It was disgustingly bitter.

"Any better?"

He almost snapped an irritable 'there's nothing wrong', before a blinding headache seemed to split his skull in two for an instant, leaving grey spots dancing before his eyes.

Uryuu blinked as the sensation vanished as quickly as it had come.

"...what was that meant to do?"

"Nothing much. Just clearing your mind."

Uryuu let his head fall, before quickly returning to his original posture as he spat out a mouthful of sand. "Great. Then what was the point of that?"

"Well… I think I can let you up again." The pressure alleviated as Urahara got off his back.

He got up, before realizing something vitally important: his clothes had been quite effectively reduced to ash, including his boxers.

"Urahara-san?" he managed.

"Yes?"

"…I take it you have a shower somewhere in the building?"

"First on the left as you come up the stairs onto the first floor."

Uryuu didn't hang around, instead performing the fastest hirenkyaku ever unrecorded to reach the shower.

* * *

Yoruichi wished she could take human form, if only to show her complete and utter despair.

The training session had gone even worse than she had anticipated. Orihime at least had managed to materialize her Shun Shun Rikka, but they had then proceeded to share in her lunch and pull out Keigo's hair rather than do anything useful… although Yoruichi supposed that this last could be considered vaguely useful, since it resulted in Keigo turning invisible as he had attempted to hide from the creatures. Tatsuki had managed to maintain her Kishi no Yoroi (as it had been rapidly dubbed) for about ten minutes straight before passing out from reiatsu exhaustion. Mizuiro had spent much of the time on his mobile phone, since he had said it was probably the method through which his abilities were channelled. She'd bought that up until the point when she'd gone to check up on him, and found him flinging a series of small red pixelated birds across the screen.

And then Yasutora had succeeded in forming the armour around his right arm, before blasting an oversized hole in the wall and setting off a series of alarms. Everyone had been forced to flee at that time, Keigo sprinting off at breakneck speed with Yasutora carrying a still-unconscious Tatsuki over his shoulder and apologising profusely.

_…I suppose it's better than nothing. At least everyone managed to make something of a start, other than Mizuiro…_

* * *

(Contrary to her belief, he _had_ managed to initiate GLADoS. It was simply that there were only so many people he could generate connections with before he ran out of people. The only remaining minimal-energy functions, other than communicating with various people – most of whom were already in the room – were internet-based and completely non-combative. As a result, he'd decided to make the most of free mobile game downloads...)


	29. Breakin

**This time on TWiBaW:** Vengeance complexes may be bad for your health, it's not fashionable unless you suffer for it, and cliffhangers are in this season.

* * *

**A/N:** Uryuu has mastered the ancient Quincy art of Kitsuchi Jigen (木 槌 次元). This is now (un)officially canon.

The official basic storyline has been formalized up until about the end of the invasion arc.  
Also, apparently I'm going to visit grandparents on the weekend of April 1st, so I (probably) won't get to prank you all with a gag chapter like I originally planned to. This may prove better for my health than the original option I had in mind, because giving readers the faux/actual spoilers might have resulted in a slow and painful death involving Love Psycho and a cheese grater. I may amuse myself by writing a parody/romance chapter, though.  
Whilst I_ was_ considering a continued training sequence for this chapter, it was getting a bit dull, and people will be seeing the results of cool training shiz over the course of the Rescue Princess #1 Arc... although Keigo running for his life from a kid with a baseball bat might have been humorous to write.

In case anyone's wondering, the five mentioned are the captains best avoided at any cost - Kaname Tousen, Gin Ichimaru, Sosuke Aizen, Mayuri Kurotsuchi and Kenpachi Zaraki. The reason that Yamamoto isn't on that list is because he would probably avoid barbequing a kid, and Soi Fon would be focused on extracting information and wouldn't want them dead. (...Probably. Keigo might annoy Soi Fon enough for her to consider it.) Kisuke isn't sure what the first three of the stated captains would do, but it would be Nothing Good. Mayuri is an evil scientist to the extreme (_yeah let's turn our minions into walking bombs_ crazy). Kenpachi... would probably crush someone accidentally with his reiatsu whilst looking for a good fight. Although that someone would not be Ichigo.

* * *

"Uryuuuuu…"

_Green tea… Sensei? No, he's long gone. And… that's Ichigo._

Uryuu managed to unstick his eyelids, peeling his face off the book he'd fallen asleep reading. He groaned as he got up, wincing with pain. _Stiff neck. I should really have known better… but then, given how much time that Urahara-san's training has been taken up recently…_

The cup of tea was set down carefully on the desk. Uryuu sipped the hot liquid gingerly, blowing away some of the steam rising off it as the caffeine started reviving his brain. He looked up to thank Ichigo, only for the sentence to die on his lips.

Ichigo was wearing the gigai, staring intently at him.

"…what?"

"Oh… no. It's just… Urahara just left a message. He said the Senkaimon was ready," Ichigo explained with a careless shrug, looking away. "And yeah… a bunch of people phoned up overnight to say they were gonna be there at about – " He glanced at the clock hanging off the wall. "Ten minutes?"

_Shit!_

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier – " Uryuu leapt off the chair as though electrocuted. _My stuff! Dammit, I didn't pack last night because I thought I'd have more time, but no… I didn't even master the Sanrei glove, although given the description in Sensei's handbook, that might not be such a bad thing. Even so, ten minutes – _

Ichigo winced at the torrent of semi-coherent thoughts. "Uryuu? Would you mind calming down?"

"I… yes… but still, ten minutes…" the Quincy muttered under his breath. _I'll be lucky to get everything in time._

Hastily, he snatched up some of the more vital items on his desk before sprinting for his bedroom. _Bandages, silver capsules, emergency sewing kit, spare cape, asauchi, blood coagulators and the rest of the emergency first-aid kit, lock-picking set, notebook, ground sheet, emergency rations…_

And there, hanging on the mannequin and taking pride of place, was his brand new Quincy uniform, complete with hidden pockets for every possible eventuality, including a waterproof pop-up dressing room that could also be turned into a tent. Uryuu wasn't _entirely _sure whether this last was necessary, but he had felt, at the time, that it was probably best to be safe rather than sorry. Besides, as a last resort, the slim, lightweight telescopic metal poles used to set the thing up could always be used as impromptu weapons…

It took five minutes to get everything on, then another three minutes to stash away all of the supplies in the secret hidden pockets without falling over, unbalancing himself or dislodging something in the process.

"You coming?" Kai's plush head stuck round the corner of the door.

"Yes." Uryuu took a couple of steps before wobbling slightly, the new leather boots throwing his balance off.

_Okay, getting heels was a terrible idea. I suppose I could have just gone for plain white boots… but then they wouldn't have had Quincy crosses on…_

He took another step, glaring at Kai and daring the mod-soul to say anything. Unfortunately, the effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that he fell over on the fourth step; the resulting clatter from the metal crockery/cutlery set falling out lasted for quite some time.

* * *

"Dammit! Where is he?" Keigo checked his watch for the thousandth time, sitting up against the fake rock. _Did he not get that fake blood message? Or was that just the bucket-hat guy trying to freak me out…_

Mizuiro didn't bother looking up from his mobile phone. "Still in his apartment, Asano-san." This was followed by a series of _splorp splorp _noises as his fingers rapidly slid across the touchscreen.

Tatsuki twitched at the sound of zombies being destroyed.

"Can't you mute that thing?"

"No," replied Mizuiro absentmindedly. "If I try to mute it, it just unmutes itself again."

"_Mizuiro… how terribly rude. 'It'? Really?"_

Everyone stared, before Keigo finally broke the silence.

"Am I the only one who finds it creepy that Miz's phone has a personality and actually talks back to him?"

"Inoue-san has her Shun Shun Rikka," Chad pointed out.

Keigo waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, but they're fairies, it's completely different. This is pretty much a _computer – _"

"_A computer capable of wrecking your entire life within the space of about ten seconds._"

" – which is actually completely awesome," he hastily corrected. _I really don't want all of Miz's movies posted on Facebook. Especially the one from last week where that midget kid in a polka-dot dress beat up my ass… although it was worth it after Orihime healed me…_

He sneaked a furtive glance at the girl in question. She was leaning against a dead tree, dozing off and thinking about who knew what. _Probably best if I don't ask, actually. I'm pretty sure her head is filled with weird stuff, given what she muttered about when she was unconscious._

And then there was the… the _thing _in the middle of the cavern, just beyond the tree. The entire thing looked as if it was constructed from papier-mâché, but it gave Keigo a slightly queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach when he looked at it. The bucket-hat guy was next to it, too, apparently adding the finishing touches alongside the man Keigo had mentally dubbed Corn Row Dude.

"Where's Uryuu?"

Keigo yelped, startled, before realising that it was the cat Yoruichi behind him. It had managed to get down the ladder silently, somehow managing to bypass the ladder.

_Man, that cat is creepy. Is it like a ninja or something?_

The _splorp _noises came to an abrupt halt as Mizuiro fiddled with his phone. "He's upstairs right now."

There was a thump.

"…fine, he isn't upstairs right now."

Keigo stared at Uryuu's appearance. His friend was clearly wearing some kind of weirdass cosplay costume, white with blue accents, a cape and a sort-of-dress over trousers and a pair of leather boots which added to the total effect, making him look even girlier than he normally did. Unfortunately, he appeared to have lost his foothold on the ladder due to the fact that the boots also had heels to them, resulting in Uryuu being half-buried in the sand.

_Why couldn't my friends be normal…_

* * *

Uryuu did not swear as he attempted to extricate himself. His mouth was too full of sand to allow such a thing.

"Ishida-kun? Are you alright?" came Orihime's concerned voice, muffled through the sand in his ears, just before arms wrapped around his waist and yanked him out.

He coughed, spitting sand out as he dusted himself off.

_At least it was a soft landing, _came Ichigo's inappropriately cheery voice, causing a stream of mental expletives to be aimed in his general direction.

"He's fine," said Kai dismissively as he leapt off Ichigo's shoulder, causing Orihime to squeak in surprise.

"A talking lion? Ah… you must be – "

"That's right!" Kai struck a heroic pose. "I am the great and glorious KAIZO KOMURA, saviour of ladies everywhere! I'll be coming with you to help rescue my precious Nee-chan from her dire predicament of – "

The speech was cut short as Ichigo swept the plushie off the ground, effectively muting the cries.

"Yo," he said, by way of greeting, as everyone (excepting Uryuu) continued to stare.

"Ah, good, you're all here!" Kisuke, apparently finished with his gate, turned to greet them. "Just in time, too. The senkaimon was just finished – normally humans wouldn't be able to pass through without dying, but I've added a standard modifier to the thing so that it should convert your living bodies into reishi without killing you first – you can retain your original forms, that is."

"Uh… great?" Keigo said apprehensively.

"After the gate is open, you'll have four minutes to get through. Otherwise you'll be lost inside for a very long time until someone opens the dangai up once more… there's also a current that can trap you in place, making it difficult to get free. Oh, and there's a sweeper that comes through once every seven days. Well, I _say_ sweeper, it's more like a steam train that runs through, but don't worry, there's hardly any chance of it turning up."

_Great. With the luck I've been having recently…_

"Wait a minute," interrupted Tatsuki, folding her arms. "What's this Seireitei place actually like?"

"I'm glad you asked that question… It actually consists of two sections – the outer part is Rukongai, where the normal souls live, and the inner part is Seireitei proper, where the shinigami are." Urahara produced his infamous fan from a pocket, tapping it thoughtfully against his chin. "After that, there are thirteen taichous and their fukutaichous who lead the divisions, and are the majority of the Gotei 13's military strength. They're all very powerful, but you'll be able to identify them because of their white haori or armbands."

Uryuu's mind briefly flashed back to the painted-face shinigami that had taken away his grandfather.

_So that was a taichou, then… I suppose there's another purpose to go to Seireitei, then, _he thought grimly. _If I can avenge Sensei, then I'll do it. I just hope I've become strong enough since that day… but no matter what, I'm not going to stand back and let something like that happen again. Not when I could do something about it – _

" – so you should _especially _stay away from those five," Urahara finished, just as Uryuu came out of his reverie.

_Shit! What did I miss? Was it something important?_

_Relax, it's fine. _Ichigo sounded mildly amused. _I'll tell you later._

With a dramatic sweep of the fan, Urahara gestured towards the waiting senkaimon.

"Now… shall we begin?"

* * *

_If anyone's watching, this must look really strange… Seven teenagers following a black cat through what looks like the intestinal tract of a whale._

Uryuu glanced warily from side to side, fingering the silver charm on his wrist.

"Keep going," snapped Yoruichi. "We don't have time to waste in here." The cat broke into a fast trot, causing everyone to jog to keep up.

"U-uh, Yoruichi?" Keigo stammered, glancing behind him. "The walls are kinda starting to move."

"Then why are you turning around to look at it for? Run!"

Uryuu chanced a look behind him. The gooey-looking walls were definitely starting to close in, and there was an ominous-sounding rumble from the far end, where they'd entered.

"The cleaner – " he started, just before the noise rose to a scream and a bright light appeared, growing rapidly in size.

He broke into an all-out sprint, his friends doing likewise, up until the point where he was yanked back sharply as a tendril extended from the wall to grab his cape. Sado moved to help, but without breaking stride, Ichigo grabbed hold of Uryuu, pulling him free before slinging the Quincy unceremoniously over his shoulder.

Ten seconds later, they were ejected from the senkaimon with the cleaner roaring behind them.

_…I hate my life, _thought Uryuu as he extricated himself from the dogpile. Thankfully, Orihime had managed to conjure up some kind of shield, preventing everyone from ramming into the unforgiving ground at painful velocity; unfortunately, it hadn't prevented Keigo from being buried under Mizuiro, Sado and Orihime.

"Oww… my precious stuffing…" Kai moaned, stretching out one fabric paw in an attempt to escape from his position under Sado's elbow. "Onee-chan… I'll persist despite all adversity for your sake."

Tatsuki was dusting her karate outfit off, having managed to land properly.

"So that's Seireitei, huh?" She stared at the seemingly endless mass of buildings that lay before her.

"No," corrected Yoruichi, appearing at her feet. "_That_ is Seireitei."

Lifting one paw, the cat pointed in the opposite direction. The buildings were taller, and, in the distance, a great cliff could just be made out, with a tower upon it that seemed to reach up to the sky.

"Wow… is that a visitor's tower or something? It's really tall – " Keigo began, sitting back up, before being smacked around the ankle by Yoruichi.

"That's the Shrine of Penitence. Rukia Kuchiki will probably be transferred there at some point, if she isn't there already. They put the prisoners they're about to execute in there. Now…" The cat began pacing up and down on the pavement. "There's someone I need to find so we can get in there."

"…we can't just walk in? There's no walls or anything – "

"No."

* * *

Renji practically leapt up off his chair as the clanging alarm bells sounded.

"Abarai-fukutaichou!" Rikichi sprinted into the office. "The intruder alarms just went off… apparently there was some kind of entry violation near the South Gate."

_Uryuu came? Already?_! Renji's mind raced with the possibilities; maybe, just maybe, nobody would notice if Rukia vanished in all the chaos… _but an entry into Rukongai wouldn't be enough. They're not too fussed, it'd probably just result in an investigation once everyone's calmed down. There wouldn't be enough time to smuggle Rukia out… unless someone actually broke into Seireitei._

"Where's Zabimaru?" he asked, scowling.

Rikichi winced at the question. "Well… you see, the thing is, there were lots of vegetables to cut up and I thought I would make a special dinner for Kuchiki-sama – "

"_What?_!"

"It's okay, it's still mostly clean, I'll go get it now!"

* * *

Kai stared disconsolately at the ground, swinging his plush feet from his position on Ichigo's shoulder. The hollow was currently snoozing against a wall, still encased in his gigai. Most of the others had gone inside the building as Yoruichi conversed with the elder within, but Ichigo had volunteered to keep lookout just in case any shinigami decided to start searching about what had happened.

_Maybe, if I can just sneak in there… who'd notice me, anyway? _he thought. _I'm just a plush lion with a heart of gold… I could find a shinigami who thinks I'm cute and then steal the key to get Onee-chan out of the prison… but if Ichigo finds out that I've left him to break out on my own and he needs me, Uryuu will get mad. _Kai gave a mental shudder at this. _It'd be dresses for life! I couldn't live with that._

"Boooonniiiiiiiieeeeee!"

A man flew down the street before collapsing in a heap at the feet of Ichigo, waking him up effectively.

_Who's this guy? He looks weird…_

Five seconds later, a giant boar galloped up, making loud snorting noises as it stopped to rub against Ichigo. It was a hefty-looking thing the size of a small horse, with large tusks jutting out of its mouth and a sign draped across its body, declaring that it was a 'Four-Wheel Drive'.

Ichigo petted the boar tentatively as its would-be rider struggled to get up.

"Bonnie-chan… not so fast next ti-" The man's gaze fixed on Ichigo, or, more accurately, the sword at Ichigo's hip. "You… shinigami… that zanpakuto…"

Ichigo blinked.

"Ganju?"

* * *

**QHQA! Now with 50% extra HOLLOW GOODNESS!**

**ICHIGO: **[beaming] Good morning, and welcome to your bi-weekly dose of extra added omake. Or something like that.

**URYUU: **...what are you doing here? This is my explanation time! Besides, I'm obviously the main character, so -

**ICHIGO: **[reading off notebook, completely ignoring URYUU] Apparently some people have been wondering about Uryuu's Quincy uniform, so I'll explain.

[ICHIGO pulls down a projector screen in the classroom as URYUU facepalms. Cut to image of current Quincy uniform.]

**ICHIGO: **This is his current version, which has lots of hidden pockets and places to put stuff, like under the cape and inside the lining of the boots and the trousers. Unfortunately, it looks a bit girly if you ask me -

**URYUU: **Excuse me? _This_ coming from the person with the waist-length hair?

**ICHIGO: **[wounded] Hey, don't diss the hair. Chicks love the hair. Besides it's just a sign of how awesomely powerful I am. Anyway... this uniform is the fourth version. The first had - what was it again? Oh yeah, it was too plain. [projector image switch to demure-looking white suit] This was version two [projector image switch to Quincy colour-themed MECHA SUIT] but... basically he couldn't actually _move _the thing.

**URYUU: **[indignant] The logic was flawless!

**ICHIGO: **You couldn't walk while you were wearing it... and that was pretty much the same problem with the third one. [projector image switch to Quincy uniform, this time with considerable number of bulges sticking out of it] Of course, this was before he mastered the Boy Scout art of conservative packing. I've got some cool movies of him trying to move without falling over, actually, not to mention some concepts of a Sailor Fuku-type thing I came up with -

**URYUU: **NEXT!

**ICHIGO: **Anyway, moving on: 'Has Uryuu ever failed a test?' Actually, yes, it was one of those things about sex education, so after that happened Ryuuken gave him the 'talk' with all the graphic images -

[A dark aura surrounds URYUU ISHIDA as he exerts killing intent.]

**ICHIGO: **Yeeeeah... somehow I think if I continue any further this fic will probably get M-rated.

* * *

Kitsuchi Jigen (木 槌 次元): Wooden Mallet Dimension


	30. Enter the Boar Riders

**This time on TWiBaW:** Pigs. Pigs everywhere. Also, the Living World still exists.

* * *

**A/N:** You made me think of Barbie dolls. And now I have that song 'Barbie World' stuck in my head. It's all your fault saying stuff like 'Passion for Fashion'. :U

This chapter is unbeta'd, but will be updated with the beta'd version shortly.  
The odds of a chapter next week are one in a million. The odds of a serious chapter next week are zero.  
More questions for Uryuu and Ichigo to answer are always appreciated, as are standard reviews. o3o

Uryuu's 'EXCALIBUR' face is now Mizuiro's phone background. (ﺧ益ﺨ)  
Doctors are scary. Any doctors, but especially if they have glasses and even more especially if they come in time travelling boxes.  
If they do weird stuff to bunnies, of course... just run.

* * *

"You're looking for that place…" The elder stared down at Yoruichi. "I don't know where they are now – they moved from their previous house years back, but the boy comes here to visit from time to time. He might be able to help you."

_Great. _She winced mentally; the idea of getting her old friend Kuukaku to help out was looking less and less attractive by the second. _Why couldn't we just use the old underground passages… oh wait, I remember now. Because there are six kids, one hollow and one mod soul tagging along with me, and they wouldn't fit in the only passages that can be opened from_ this_ end._

Yoruichi glanced through the door to the next room. Said kids were currently being served tea by a child; apparently he was one of the newer arrivals who had been taken in, given the fact that Uryuu and Yasutora seemed to know the boy.

"Do you have a rough idea of where they're living?"

"Given what the boy has said to me, their new house lies some good distance west. Beyond that, I could not say, but I am sure you know that the Shiba style has always been…" The elder hesitated, loath to be rude, before finishing, "…unique."

Yoruichi looked up in alarm, suddenly realizing a possible danger. "How often does Ganju come to visit?"

"Oh… probably once every day, in the evenings. As a matter of fact, he may be along now – he normally comes with his group of friends – "

At that point, the front door smashed open as a petrified Ichigo Kurosaki toppled through, locked tightly in place by what was a grown-up version of the short dark-haired brat she'd known as Kuukaku's youngest brother.

_Oh god. Couldn't he at least have stayed out of trouble?_

"You utter _BASTARD!" _Ganju roared, pinning Ichigo to the ground. "Why the hell didn't you… I thought you were gone forever…" He broke down sobbing into Ichigo's T-shirt as the latter sat up, tentatively patting Ganju on the back.

A large and hairy pig stuck its snout through the door, before deciding to join in by butting its head against the pair (threatening to impale Ichigo with its tusks in the process) and sitting down with a satisfied-sounding grunt.

Yoruichi stared at the tableau as the elder toppled over, having apparently fainted out of shock.

* * *

A brief surge of foreign panic washed over Uryuu, alerting him to the fact that something was wrong a second before the crash.

"…Ichigo?" Uryuu asked tentatively, peering around the sliding door.

_It's fine. Just a case of mistaken identity… good grief this is awkward. _Ichigo attempted to detach himself from the weeping man, without much success.

"Kurosaki-kun is being attacked by pigs_?_!"

The pig's head turned towards the onlookers, glancing at Orihime before returning to its previous activity of snuffling at Ichigo's pockets.

Uryuu stared.

"…my precious onii-san…" The dark-haired stranger continued to sob into Ichigo's chest.

_...what._

The black cat stood up from its position on the floor, before extending the claws on one paw and swiping the intruder with them. "Ganju! Get up!"

Ganju leapt up from his position on Ichigo's lap, eyes watering in pain as the pig gave a startled oink.

"Now," said Yoruichi in a threatening voice, "you are going to take us to your sister's house, and then we can talk about this there. Do you understand?"

Both man and pig nodded fervently in unison.

* * *

"…this is the most ridiculous thing ever."

Mizuiro had to agree with Keigo for once. Being escorted by five men riding on pigback was _not_ how he had foreseen the beginning of the attempted prison break… although admittedly seeing Uryuu's facial expression at the time _had_ been more than worth it. Sado seemed quite unfazed by the entire matter, though given the fact that his fringe covered quite a bit of his face it was a little hard to tell.

"Ah! Here it is!"

Mizuiro stared up. A pair of apparently disembodied arms held up an oversized banner, taking pride of place in front of a building that loomed over everything in the vicinity.

"HAH!" A pair of giant men leapt out of the entrance with a loud shout. "Intruders will pass no further – oh, it's you."

"Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko…" Ganju stared up at the pair. "We've got visitors, and, uh – " He gestured helplessly behind him at Yoruichi and Ichigo, something that intrigued Mizuiro.

"Boss… your sister…" started one of the unknown Boar Riders, before Ganju waved a hand dismissively

"Relax. I'll deal with my Onee-chan, it's all good."

The guardians bowed, sliding the front door aside and revealing a set of steps that led down into what was presumably a house.

_What relationship does Ganju have with Ichigo? _Mizuiro wondered as they all went down the steps, closely followed by the twin giants._ Given that Uryuu knows Ichigo well, I wouldn't think they would have met before… although I suppose Ichigo could always be some kind of spirit, like Kuchiki-san. But even so…_

Ganju stopped at the bottom of the steps, just before a set of screen doors.

"Onee-chan?" he called out, with a slightly nervous glance behind him. "We've got visitors."

"_What?_! Ganju, I told you not to – " The door slid open.

Everyone stared.

_This… is Kuukaku?_

A well-endowed woman scowled at them all, a pipe held in her one remaining hand; the other arm, a prosthetic, hung at her side. Her expression shifted from annoyance to astonishment as her gaze shifted to Yoruichi, and then to Ichigo. By the looks of things, Mizuiro was not the only one to have taken note of Kuukaku's generous attributes; Keigo was ogling openly, and Kai appeared to be drooling slightly.

"Yoruichi? What – " Kuukaku began, before shaking her head. "Never mind. Come in, we can talk later."

* * *

"Somehow, with the name Kuukaku, I was expecting some kind of samurai warrior…"

Tatsuki glanced at Orihime, who hadn't touched the food yet. "Well… she _did _have a sword." _Not to mention Ganju looked pretty scared of her – although that might just be because he's her younger brother._

The feline had vanished along with Ichigo, Ganju and Kuukaku shortly after their arrival, leaving everyone else with Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko. The twins had kindly provided dinner in the meantime; Tatsuki suspected they were probably household servants or something similar, meaning that despite the eccentric appearance, the Shibas were relatively rich.

"I dunno." Keigo stared disconsolately at his empty plate. "You hear all these people going on about stuff to do with the afterlife and heaven, and then you find out that it's all the same no matter _what _you do. Unless you commit murder or something," he added hastily.

Uryuu pulled a face at this comment. "Welcome to my world. There's a _reason_ why Quincies aren't naturally religious people."

"Didn't you have a priest outfit or something?" Tatsuki asked, curiously. _I'm pretty sure he was wearing some sort of white outfit with a cross on it when he burst into Orihime's apartment._

He scowled. "That was my _intermediary Quincy uniform_. It has absolutely nothing to do with priests."

"It had a massive cross on it, if it's the same one you were wearing with the Shrieker hollow," Chad pointed out unexpectedly.

"It wasn't a religious symbol!" Uryuu nearly shouted, before quietening down at a questioning glance from Shiroganehiko.

Tatsuki shrugged, unperturbed by the reaction. "If you say so."

The door slid open once more, revealing Yoruichi and Ichigo.

"What happened?" asked Uryuu curiously, resulting in a shrug from Ichigo.

"Wanted to ask me about some stuff."

_Uryuu did mention that hollows eat souls… I suppose I can understand why they would be worried about that, particularly since this is a SOUL Society. But then, Ichigo seems to have a lot of self-restraint, so I suppose it wouldn't be a problem._

Yoruichi rapped one paw against the floorboards, attracting everyone's attention.

"Tomorrow we'll be breaking into the Gotei 13's headquarters, so you should all get some rest now."

"How're we getting in? Are there underground tunnels or something?" Tatsuki asked curiously.

The cat shook its head in the negative. "Unfortunately, the only tunnels large enough for you are blocked at the other end. If it was just me on my own, perhaps, but as it stands… we're going to have to go up and over."

_Uryuu's Tenkuu no Suisei?_

"What, by flying or something?" Keigo gave a nervous laugh at this; evidently he was not entirely at ease with the idea of extreme heights.

"Well…" Yoruichi's tail twitched as she considered the question. "Have you ever seen a human cannonball act at the circus before?"

Keigo shuddered.

_This… does not sound totally ominous. At all._

* * *

Kisuke was just clearing up the charred paper remains in his basement when he heard an urgent knocking.

"Urahara-dono?"

"Yes?" he called out to Tessai. "Is it a customer?" _Strange, I can't sense any reiatsu… although it could easily be that their reiatsu is low enough to blend into the environment._

"…well… in a manner of speaking. He wants to talk to you."

_Isshin? I thought his gigai would be good for another few years, I recalibrated it only five months ago…_

The trapdoor opened to admit the visitor, who landed near-silently upon the sand.

Kisuke Urahara suddenly felt a sensation of impending doom as the glasses-wearing, white-coated man advanced upon him.

"Urahara-san. It's been a while."

"Ryuuken!" Kisuke grinned cheerily at the man whilst inwardly trying to stop sweating. The Quincy had always made him nervous, not least because he _knew_ the man was an excellent shot, still carried a number of Seele Schneider around on his person, and that the castration of a soul using such a device would result in him losing his manhood for the rest of eternity - under normal circumstances, at least. He had no desire whatsoever to test whether hollow regeneration would be capable of regrowing such a thing, either.

"Well? What can I do for you?"

"...first you could tell me why the hell my son seems to have vanished off the face of the earth. I thought you might possibly have some idea." Light glinted off Ryuuken's spectacles as he adjusted them slightly, strongly reminding Kisuke of Sosuke Aizen.

_…shit._


	31. Kaizo Komura Vs The Seireitei

**Very Important Author's Message!**

From the results of a survey taken recently, I have discovered that 100% of readers would prefer it if I used side characters and went hipstr instead of taking mainstream characters as the subject for my Bleach story. As a result, TWiBaW will shortly be replaced with KAIZO KOMURA versus THE SEIREITEI, commencing with this chapter.

* * *

Kai strolled down the street, whistling casually as he did so. Life felt good – he'd managed to escape from the tyranny of Uryuu Ishida and Ichigo Kurosaki, although it'd been a close shave after he'd almost been trampled by a group of pigs. At the last minute, he'd managed to escape the stampede by ducking into a side alley. Something felt a bit uncomfortable inside his stuffing, though.

_Uryuu did add a secret compartment… although I don't know what he actually put in there. Something's poking, though… I wonder what it is?_

He unzipped his back before reaching inside the pocket, pulling out his bodily contents.

_Sewing kit… nah… wait, what's this notebook? Isn't this Ichigo's?_

Kai began sweating at the thought of what would happen if Ichigo found out that his notebook was lost.

_He'd definitely kill me! He'd crunch me up like some kind of normal candy, like those Soul Pills that the shopkeeper gave him to eat… I've got to get away from here!_

He sneaked away from the building, not noticing the pair of narrowed brown eyes watching him.

* * *

Ten minutes later, he drew to a halt, panting as he leaned against a convenient brick wall. A feral dog had apparently spotted him. Barking loudly, it had chased after him, apparently intent on chewing its newest plush toy to bits.

_It's a good thing I can run so fast… even in this body, that scrawny mutt isn't going to beat me!_

He let go of the notebook he'd been carrying. It wouldn't do to lose Ichigo's possessions – that would probably result in a very slow and painful death, even if Kai wasn't anywhere near Ichigo.

_What's even in this thing, anyway?_

He flipped a few pages before his eyes widened.

_Hot damn! This is… wow, okay, Ichigo's reputation just went up by ten bajillion in my book. What's this even called, anyway? Ichi-Ichi Afterlife? Jeez that's lame. But still… so awesome…_

Kai glanced covertly at the other side of the street, worried about Ichigo turning up and demanding his afterlife's work.

Suddenly, something caught his eye.

_White Lotus publishers…_

He grinned, struck by a sudden idea.

* * *

"This is your story?" The elderly owner of the printing company stared disbelievingly at the mod soul standing on his desk, before glancing at the notebook once more.

"Well…" Kai shifted slightly from foot to foot, uneasy with the idea of lying outright. "Actually, a friend of mine wrote it, but he hasn't got it published yet and wasn't sure what people would make of it. He's kinda shy, actually."

"This…" The man lifted the book reverently. "It'll sell well, though, if I'm any judge. Of course we would have to discuss commission, but I think we can reach a suitable agreement…"

* * *

"The Shinigami Woman's Association meets today to discuss the rising issue in our community." Nanao Ise adjusted her glasses slightly. "We are talking, of course, about this."

A book was placed carefully upon the table, in the same manner that a duellist might have once thrown down a gauntlet.

"Recently, I found my taichou with it in his possession. It seems that it has become increasingly popular amongst the male seated officers of the various divisions." She scowled. "Evidently this is a complete and utter disaster, drawing sales away from the SWA! We have to do something about this matter, possibly – "

"This is Ichi-Ichi Afterlife?" interrupted Soi Fon, picking up the book.

"Yes," replied Nanao with some distaste.

"Hey, I've seen that one!" exclaimed Rangiku with surprise, prising her head off the table. "Isn't that the one with the cute main character called Strawberry or something like that? Where he goes into the afterlife to rescue his precious princess but there are girls jumping all over him and he can't decide which he likes best… I tried to get it, but they sold out all the copies when I checked so I had to borrow from Renji – "

"It is a flagrant objectification of women!" Nanao exclaimed, smacking her own notebook down against the table before restraining herself. "That is to say, it isn't something that we, as the primary union representing women, can allow. The subject matter _itself _is entirely ridiculous, how any human could possibly manage to break into Seireitei and gain a shikai in a day flat – "

"Aizen-taichou likes it," Hinamori spoke up quietly, as if this resolved the matter. In some ways, it did; _everything _done by Sosuke Aizen was naturally good and right. It was practically law in Seireitei.

Nanao floundered briefly under the weight of those words. "Well, _yes_, but even so – "

"Besides, there _is_ a solution to benefit all of us," interrupted Soi Fon. "As the leader of the Omnitskidou, it is, of course, my duty to deal in subterfuge. The natural response would be to simply hire out this particular writer, this – " she inspected the book – "PP, to author something of our own."

"It _is_ evidently a self-insert, though," Nanao tried valiantly. "This isn't exactly a perfect work by any means."

Soi Fon shrugged. "People buy it nonetheless. We may as well cash in by making a commission."

Nemu picked up her notepad and pencil. "In that case, votes for a commissioned piece of work for the SWA magazine?"

* * *

Kai was feeling pretty damn good. He'd managed to make a mint from Ichigo's work, and even discovered a secret hidden passage through to the inside of the Seireitei without breaking down the front door. On top of that, he had both men _and _women asking for his autograph on copies of the book… such as _this _kid, for example. Kai wasn't sure whether the shinigami was a boy or a girl – _probably a boy, _he supposed, given the flat chest – but he sure did know how to make his way under Seireitei through the sewers.

"How'd you know how to get around this way?" Kai asked in wonderment.

"Ah… the Fourth Division gets all the general duties like cleaning, so we have to come down quite often."

Kai winced from his position on Hanataro's shoulder. _Wow, that must suck._

"But it's not all that bad!" Hanataro continued, fiddling with his fingers as he walked. "Um. It's good knowing all the shortcuts of how to get around Seireitei without running into more Eleventh Division members, because they keep trying to make us stronger by fighting us. All the time."

He decided he was _really_ glad he wasn't a shinigami.

* * *

"Hanataro… Kai…"

Rukia stared as the door slid open, revealing the world's most unlikely rescuers.

"Onee-san… we came to save you from the evil clutches of the shinigami. Come with us and we shall leave this world together…"

Kai beckoned in what he probably felt was an inviting manner.

_They were willing to go to those lengths? For me? _wondered Rukia.

"…actually, I quite like staying here," ventured Hanataro, raising a hand, only to have a fabric paw clamped over his mouth.

"Come on, Onee-san!"

She hesitated, before nodding resolutely, following the two out of the tower. The guards were all sprawled on the floor; Rukia thought it was probably best not to ask how that had happened, though.

"You shouldn't have…"

"It's all good!" responded Kai, with a careless wave of his paw.

* * *

Fortuitously, 90% of male members of the Seireitei (including Sosuke Aizen) and 95% of female members were so preoccupied with the new Ichi-Ichi that nobody noticed the loss of Rukia Kuchiki until several days later. Additionally, this meant that Kisuke's Hougyoku was never removed from Rukia's soul, resulting in her ability to recover her abilities rapidly and gain bankai in a short period of time.

Meanwhile, the evil mastermind behind the entire business was so preoccupied with his new shipping wall that he entirely gave up his plans to take over the world, because the Ichi-Ichi series was _much _more interesting than being god.

…And thus the problems of the universe were all solved through the power of manga.

* * *

"…you sold the contents of my notebook."

Kai shuddered under the weight of Ichigo Kurosaki's gaze.

"Well, at least it got published, right?" he asked, dangling from one plush leg. "Besides, I can give you all the proceeds! It's good advertising! I can be your PA or your sales manager or something like that! I did an awesome job selling your book!"

The gaze narrowed.

"Kai…"

* * *

Ichigo picked up the snoring Mod Soul by the left foot.

"…g'd adv'rt's'ng…" muttered Kai, halfway through sleep and wakefulness.

"Kai…"

With a shriek, the little plush lion entered full wakefulness.

"I'm sorry! I'll never run away and sneak out your notebook by accident again, please don't eat me!" Kai flailed in midair, struggling to break free of Ichigo's grip.

_…what was he even dreaming of?_

* * *

Whilst plagiarism _may_ pay off, it will result in quite a lot of trouble in the end. Kids, don't do it!

This title change of this story is completely temporary and will almost certainly be returned to normal by the time you actually get round to reading this. This chapter will be left in place for posterity's sake, although admittedly with its proper name put in as opposed to the fake one that everyone got on the Story Alert.

Happy April the First. Also, if you read this chapter and thought that it was the kind of message that comes from a person being ttly srs… you have no sense of humour. Also also the double vision thing you may or may not have seen? That wasn't deliberate.

This special gag chapter based on an idea inspired by KuroXIII's review!

Ryuuken In Da House sounds like a really terrible/awesome/pimp name for a Bleach/House M.D. crossover.

Now please excuse me whilst I run to Scotland to visit my ailing grandparents for a week/escape the cheese grater...

* * *

**Kaizo Komura's Question Time!**

[Backlight rises, to reveal KAIZO KOMURA, in PLUSH FORM, sitting on URYUU's desk.]

KAI: So some of you want to know more about Uryuu and Ichigo… as an insider, I can personally give you all the interesting details that they would _not _want you to know about their personal lives, at great cost to my wellbeing. Appreciate it!

[KAI picks up a list, sticking a pencil behind his ear.]

KAI: So… for starters: How do Uryuu's glasses get so shiny?

[_Flashback _to KAI peeking around the cupboard door, watching URYUU, who is currently holding a small spritzer bottle and his glasses in one hand.]

KAI: [_sotto voce_] Holy shit… he actually takes those things _off?_!

URYUU: Damn… they're not shiny enough. How am I meant to intimidate people with non-shiny glasses? This bottle of lens polish is faulty!

[Return to present.]

KAI: …so yeah, that was a bit of a creepy scene. He gets them specially buffed up at the optician's every now and then, too. Who'd even _want_ to buy special reflective glasses polish?

[Cut scene to SOSUKE AIZEN, busily polishing his glasses in his office, who looks at the point of view briefly before scene switches back to KAI.]

KAI: Anyway, moving on: Has Ichigo ever had his work published? [KAI produces a copy of ICHI-ICHI AFTERLIFE from the zipped compartment in his back] Sure… he gets paid for it, but it's all done anonymously. It's part of the reason why Uryuu's been able to live out like this. The rest of the money gets put in a bank account though… As for embarrassing stuff, Ichigo did once go on a sugar binge after ordering a crate of Hershey's from the internet. [KAI shudders] That one was actually pretty terrifying, not embarrassing.

[_Flashback _to sugar rush time. The apartment appears to have been hit by a minor hurricane; ICHIGO is invisible, due to the fact that he is moving fast enough to be completely invisible to the ordinary human eye. KAI opens the sliding door of RUKIA's closet, to be greeted by a scene of utter devastation.]

KAI: …wow, what happened while I was dozing off?

[ICHIGO briefly materializes in front of KAI, or, rather, stops moving for long enough to become visible, before picking up the plush lion.]

KAI: Oh holy _shiiiiiii-_

[Screams echo around the rooftops of Karakura Town as ICHIGO dashes out the window too fast for the human eye to see. What, precisely, the hollow is doing with the toy is not quite visible at times due to the extreme speed, although it is possible to see KAI falling for brief periods before being picked up again and vanishing. It is probable that ICHIGO is attempting to play catch.]

[Return to present, and KAI is shivering at the memory.]

KAI: …the trauma… Anyway, back to embarrassing stuff… I did see Ichi wearing a Sailor Moon cosplay outfit that Uryuu made – although that was pretty traumatising as well.

ICHIGO: [offscene] Hey, has anyone seen the copy of my new book the publishers just sent?

[KAI starts sweating profusely]

KAI: …actually, I think I'd really better go give this thing back now.


	32. In Which UFOs Abound

**This time on TWiBaW:** Byakuya is not going to be happy when he finds out. Also, (marginally) early update!

* * *

**A/N:** For anyone curious about current ships for this fic, I'm adding a new one: Rin/hollow!Ichigo/candy.

I really should not be this cruel to Keigo… he isn't such a bad person, just a bit of a wimp at times. And he _did_ pick up Zennosuke's zanpakuto in a last-ditch attempt to fend off Aizen… although he does rather tempt Murphy's Law at times. It's probably because the universe needs to balance out for Ichigo Kurosaki somehow.  
Also, canon!Mizuiro seems like a pretty damn awesome character to me. I mean, he threw improvised grenades at a transcendant _Sosuke Aizen_. You have to admit that takes balls.  
Thus, we have a partial reveal of GLaDOS' sheer awesomeness in this chapter… and thus the most epic/unlikely-looking infiltration pair in the history of Karakura was born. (Possibly.)

I am currently pondering whether or not to have a sequel. There are loose ends that will want tying up at the end of this story, which will be at the end of the Deicide arc, and will be satisfactory unless you skip reading the epilogue in which case you will probably rage at me. I have numerous arc ideas for a sequel (Death in Greyscale?), but my primary worry is that I will get discouraged with length/get too old and simply give up. And the ending I already have planned is conclusive in most ways.

Nonetheless, cake, and review options, will be available at the end of this chapter.

* * *

It was not common knowledge that hollows weren't capable of entering a state of _true _sleep, although if it was considered from an analytical point of view it was pretty obvious that hollows could not dream without risking their control over their own bodies, along with their sanity. Consuming such large quantities of souls had major disadvantages, due to the fact that those souls which had previously been strong-willed had a tendency for their minds to survive in one form or another. An adjuchas is a tyranny all by itself, with any suppressed minds waiting for an opportunity to overthrow the ruler; the slightest wobble in the throne, and the ruler will be toppled in a heartbeat, leaving the mess of collected minds to descend into anarchy and Gillianhood.

As a result, Ichigo Kurosaki was half-dozing upon the mattress provided, mainly for politeness' sake. He was used to doing this back in Karakura, not having had the metaphorical heart to tell Uryuu that his generosity was unnecessary. Although he would rather have been out searching for a way into the Seireitei, he felt that – given the Shiba's recent revelation – it was probably best not to give Kuukaku a heart attack by his absence.

Everyone else was sleeping soundly. Keigo was snoring slightly, as Kai made _blort blort _noises and Tatsuki turned over restlessly. Ichigo's mind occasionally caught brief flashes of Uryuu's nightmares – _trying to run away from the grinning man in the mask, legs can't move, Sensei dying over and over again as Ryuuken looked down at him from the big desk in his study and told him he'd failed -_

Ichigo attempted to transmit calming sensations; the flavours of chocolate, a mother's lullaby, the sensation of silk against skin. The feedback changed to a woman with a wan smile, sitting upright in a hospital bed with white lilies spread over the sheets. He decided that this was probably the best he could do, and turned back to his meditation.

…actually, not quite _everyone _was sleeping.

The floorboards vibrated ever so slightly, alerting him to the approach of somebody.

_It's Ganju, _Kaien confirmed. _Although he's doing a pretty good job of being stealthy, he hasn't learned to conceal his reiatsu yet. He probably gave up classes after I died…_

There was a creak as Ganju sat down next to him.

"I know you're awake," said Ganju, without preamble.

Ichigo cracked open one eye.

"I don't trust you."

"If I were you," Ichigo replied dryly, "I wouldn't trust me, either."

Ganju scowled. "Don't think I'm gonna treat you any different if you try anything." He gestured to the cleaver hanging from his hip. "Even if that cat Yoruichi trusts you… I've got my eye on you."

"Do you really think she would endanger you by bringing me here, if she thought I was a threat?" Ichigo asked curiously, sitting up.

He received a careless shrug in response. "Never met her before."

_I'm not surprised… Ganju wasn't even born when Yoruichi was forced to leave the Seireitei along with Kisuke. It's unlikely he even knows her true identity as a shinigami, and besides, who would suspect a cat?_

_That would be pretty useful… hey, I don't suppose you have an ability like that? _Ichigo questioned hopefully.

_Only the Shihoin have the ability to transform. It's one of those things about the various Noble Houses, they have their own special gifts… the Shibas all have elemental affinities to their souls instead. Ganju had earth, Kuukaku's was lightning. _There was a brief mental grin. _No points for guessing mine._

Ganju gave the sleeping figure of Uryuu a cursory glance.

"What is he to you?"

"What?" Ichigo asked, startled.

"What I don't get is why _you, _a hollow, would follow a human around… unless you were planning to eat him or something." Ganju was watching him closely now.

"He's… a friend, I suppose. Suffice to say that if anyone hurt him, I would be extremely upset."

Orihime mumbled something incomprehensible in her sleep as Ganju stared at Ichigo.

"…I wasn't aware hollows even _had _friends."

"You've never met me before, then."

Uryuu stirred, blinking sleepily. "What's happening? Is it time to get up?"

"…it's nothing. Go back to sleep."

* * *

Uryuu had to admit that the firework-launching chimney looked extremely imposing, standing at a good hundred metres tall.

"Why couldn't it be secret underground passages?" Keigo muttered under his breath; he looked distinctly pale, and hadn't eaten much for breakfast either.

Yoruichi padded up to the platform. "There _are _secret underground passages. They just aren't big enough to admit all of us… the ones that aren't locked from the inside, at any rate."

Orihime gave Keigo a concerned look. "Asano-kun… do you not like heights?"

"What… no, of course I'm not scared of something as stupid as that!" Keigo laughed, his voice unnaturally high-pitched. "Besides, it's Rukia right?"

_I suppose if he really doesn't like the idea… _"I have lockpicks."

The cat's head swivelled round to face him. "Could you mimic the reiatsu patterns ingrained into the keys they normally use?"

He winced. "…probably not." _But it still sounds like a more viable idea than trying to launch a massive cannonball formed of reiatsu, and flinging it at a barrier._

"Anyway," spoke up Kuukaku. "You all know the plan – after I launch the Kakaku Cannon, Ganju will read the second part of the incantation so you brats can all get safely into Seireitei without being vaporized. If my brother does his part right, everything should go smoothly and you'll have a smooth touchdown. Ganju, you memorized the incantation I gave you last night – " She cut herself off abruptly, looking around for her brother. "Actually, where the hell _is _Ganju?"

Ganju sprinted up the steps, panting hard as he ran before collapsing on his knees in front of his sister.

"Here… Onee… chan," he gasped, before being greeted by a kick to the stomach.

"Moron… Didn't I tell you specifically to get up early? Were you out last night?"

The recumbent Ganju struggled to draw breath; Kuukaku eventually relented, offering him a hand to get up.

"Fine. Just don't screw up. We're using version 2. You got it memorized?"

"Yes, Onee-chan," he managed, staggering as she let go.

…_do you suppose they're normally like this? _Uryuu wondered in disbelief.

_Probably. They don't act as if this is anything unusual, _Ichigo responded silently as Kuukaku gestured to them.

"Come on. We've got to get going if you want to rescue your friend."

Keigo trailed behind as everyone else followed Kuukaku, lingering by the door. Eventually Mizuiro was forced to grab his arm and drag him towards the small, glassy sphere.

_I suppose the kido is about equivalent to Tenkuu no Suisei… but if the protections vaporize all reishi that comes into contact with walls, then the 'cannonball' will need to be a lot thicker than I could make it. Still, if we need to get out in a hurry…_

"Alright." Kuukaku gave them all one last perfunctory glance. "Take care of my brother, will you?"

Ichigo nodded before Uryuu had even processed the question.

"Then get inside and get started!"

* * *

The sphere was oddly warm to Tatsuki's palm, perhaps as a result of the energy it held within.

Yoruichi perched on top of the orb. "Whatever happens, don't take any unnecessary risks, alright? We're only here for Rukia. That's all."

"The red-bronze desire demands 36 degrees of adjustment – "

"It's started! Put your energy into it!" shouted Yoruichi over the incantation.

_Is it really necessary to have something that wordy? I mean… 'ape's right hand grabs the star'? It sounds like something Uryuu would come up with._

The cords around the cannon unravelled, coming loose. Tatsuki was fairly sure that she could hear Keigo mumbling something under his breath, eyes shut.

Kuukaku slammed her fists down on the platform, resulting in a surge of energy that caused the hair on the back of Tatsuki's neck to stand on end.

"Kakaku Style: Version 2!"

Everything seemed to explode around them for a second, bright light searing Tatsuki's eyes as she squeezed them shut.

She reopened them as the light faded back to normal. They had managed to rise a good hundred metres off the ground without her even noticing; the ascension was surprisingly smooth, without any indication they were even moving other than the environment outside.

Keigo unpeeled one hand from over his eyes. "Actually… that wasn't so ba-"

The cannonball flew with a wild screech, accelerating rapidly as it sped towards the towers of the Seireitei and causing Keigo to cling to the largest nearby person, who happened to be Chad.

Ganju unfolded a length of paper, glancing at everyone else. "The incantation is two-part, so you guys will need to make sure the emissions are at the right level while I make sure this thing lands on target. It's important you don't bug me while I'm doing this. Okay?"

Without hesitating for a response, he launched into an extensive recitation that would not have sounded out of place at a poetry recitation.

Tatsuki could feel the reiatsu coursing through the sphere; on top of the silvery sensation of her own, there was a pure crystal-blue that reminded her of Uryuu, as well as a reassuring, soothing mahogany that might have been Chad's. One of the signatures, however, was wavering tangibly. She was not the only one to have noticed, either, given the concerned looks Orihime and Ichigo kept shooting at Keigo.

"…a thousand ashes, a thousand intellects…"

"Oh god, oh god, oh god…" Keigo muttered under his breath, still clutching at Chad.

Mizuiro patted his friend on the back with his one free hand. "Relax, Asano-san… just think of it like a rollercoaster."

"I hate rollercoasters. My sister forced me to go on one when I was about nine, then the thing broke down when we were at the top and I was hanging upside down for fifteen minutes – " Keigo started hyperventilating, shooting terrified glances at the buildings rushing past below.

They were approaching Seireitei at an alarmingly fast rate now; the tower Rukia was imprisoned in was growing rapidly larger.

"…tilting toward the yin, away from the fiery red shadows, a thousand ashes – shit, you made me lose my place! Where the hell – " Ganju flipped frantically through the concertina, searching for his place.

"Uh, the shield – " Chad began, before being interrupted by Keigo, who let go of both sphere and Chad in order to clutch at Mizuiro.

"Shit we're all gonna _die! _Miz, if we all die I just wanna say – "

"Shut up and keep channelling through the orb!" Yoruichi snapped, just as the cannonball wavered.

"We're going to hit Seireitei – "

Suddenly, the enclosing cannonball strengthened once more. A surge of dark reiatsu surged through the sphere just as they made contact with the barrier. For a brief second, Tatsuki thought that they wouldn't make it, the cannonball struggling for existence as they sank through the defence –

And then they fell through, the protective shell shattered.

There was a split second in which everything remained suspended in mid-air, just before the remnants of the shell and its occupants were torn away.

* * *

"Sir? Sir, the sky is falling!"

"Don't be ridiculous – " Renji cut himself off, staring up at the speck of blue careening at terrifying speed towards Seireitei. _Uryuu? Trying to break in?_!

His subordinate squinted out through the window. "Wait… that actually looks more like some kind of missile – "

Renji was already off, sprinting down the stairs.

"Abarai-fukutaichou!"

* * *

Tatsuki grabbed blindly at the first solid object she could find, snatching at cloth with her eyes shut against the gale-force winds buffeting against her. She hung on as if her life depended on it.

_I don't know if my armour would survive such an impact… hopefully everyone will be safe –_

The wild descent slowed smoothly. She opened her eyes, suddenly shielded from the force of the winds.

Tatsuki blinked.

"Oh. It's you."

Uryuu gave her a glower in response. "Who else would it be? And anyway…"

"Thank you, Ishida-kun!" Orihime beamed at him, causing him to flush and look away.

"…it was nothing. Besides, it's more important we get down first."

The glowing blue sphere touched down gently in a back alley, before dematerializing.

"We should get going," commented Tatsuki, glancing around. "That UFO of yours is pretty obvious, after all."

"It is _not _a UFO! – "

* * *

"Seppa!"

Just short of the ground, Ganju made a circular motion with his hand, causing the stone to break down into sand.

Ichigo let go of his grip on the scruff of Ganju's shirt, stopping two feet above the new sand pit.

"Ah… man, that was pretty scary! I thought maybe I was going to get a mess all over my felt," came a voice from his back, as Kai shifted. "Hey, can you let me off now? Ichigo?"

Completely ignoring Kai, Ichigo's feet touched the ground gently as the unfortunate Ganju attempted to extricate himself.

"Ganju?"

The fireworks expert crawled out of the pit, hacking up a lungful of sand as he gave Ichigo the finger.

"Ichigo? Ichigo, what's happening? Dammit, I'm facing the other way to you! Let me down!"

* * *

Yoruichi landed flawlessly on all fours. Cats generally had that habit.

She glanced around; nobody else was nearby.

"Maybe it's for the best this way…"

* * *

Yasutora clenched his fist, the armour forming around his arm.

The ground exploded as he let out the force contained within, slowing him down and allowing him to land without getting hurt. Fortunately, the area seemed to be deserted, and nobody had noticed his arrival.

…_I hope they're alright as well._

* * *

Mizuiro fell through the sky, clutching Keigo tightly. Their progress was marked by a considerable amount of swearing on the latter's part.

_Where's my mobile… _He pulled it out of his pocket just in time, aiming at the ground. It had taken some time to increase his energy to the point where he could pull off this particular trick, but it had been well worth it.

_"Estimating trajectories and desired end location… firing portal…"_

There were a couple of brief flickers of blue and yellow light from the camera lens, and then Keigo and Mizuiro passed through the sudden absence of ground, flying _upwards _through the second portal and into the air again.

A brief moment of suspension in midair as they reached the peak of the arc, and then they were falling again.

_"Estimating trajectories and desired end location… firing portal…"_

A second series of flashes of light. The sensation of switching suddenly from moving downwards to moving upwards was an extremely disorientating one, although Mizuiro could live with it if it meant not turning into a human pancake.

At the peak of the second bounce, he spotted the end-point of their current trajectory.

_Ah… this might be problematic –_

_"Closing portals. Have a nice day, Mizuiro Kojima!~" _came the cheery female voice, just before both boys landed in a large koi pond with a colossal splash.

Mizuiro surfaced, coughing as he attempted to drag his friend to shore whilst keeping his phone above water. This was more difficult than it sounded, due to the fact that he was relatively short and the pond – _more of a lake, really _– was surprisingly deep. There was a mansion nearby, but nobody had come out to see what all the fuss was about just yet.

_I knew I should have invested in the waterproof version, _he thought as he grabbed at the pond's edge, heaving himself up out of the water. _And now my shoes are soaking wet, too… it'll take forever to dry out._

Keigo was still struggling to haul himself out; Mizuiro put the phone to the side, before reaching out with both hands to pull his friend free of the water, gasping for air.

"You okay?" he asked, concerned.

Keigo responded by throwing up onto the grass, causing Mizuiro to wince. _Lovely. But at least we're both still alive…_

A window swung open, revealing an irate old man. "What exactly do you think you are doing? You are trespassing on private property of the Kuchiki – "

Mizuiro didn't need any further hints. Ignoring the drain on his energy, he got up, staggering.

"Asano-san, can you walk?"

He received a weak nod in reply as Keigo pulled himself upright, using Mizuiro as a crutch.

"Good," he commented, glancing at the entrance of the mansion. The doors had opened to reveal a number of black-clad people with swords, all of them sprinting in their general direction. "But I think we're going to need to run."

* * *

**New GLaDOS feature unlocked!**

Portal (4): Generates a transdimensional portal. One on its own will act as the solid object it is generated on; two in tandem will permit objects to enter by one and exit by the other. Objects with high momentum will retain that momentum with relative orientation to the portals; it is possible to 'bounce' over long distances using this method, or to clear high obstacles that would otherwise be impassable. It is not possible to generate portals on nonsolid surfaces, nor to place them upon surfaces that are not visible from the creator's perspective. The generation of portals may be blocked by certain substances, such as sekki-sekki rock.


	33. Everything Goes Better With Explosives

**This time on TWiBaW:** In which Ikkaku is a superstitious bastard, and Tatsuki and Ichigo are considerably more badass than canon.

* * *

**A/N:** ...bluh I keep posting up the chapters early  
Any semi-main character will be getting an appropriate poetic epitaph/quote at the beginning of the chapter of their death. By 'semi-main' we mean characters that feature in more than ten chapters; thus, Grand Fisher and Aaroniero Aaruwhatever will not be getting one retrospectively, and neither will Zommari when the inevitable happens. Basically, it will stand as a chapter warning about an Imminent Character Death.

There was no way I could have the fights work out any other way. I _did _consider giving Uryuu a little time to show off his shiny new abilities, but that would be exactly the damn same as canon and thus boring.  
Besides, he _will_ be getting an epic CMOA in a few chapters. I'm counting 'em.

Also… Tatsuki seems like the sort of person who really hates: a) cheaters and b) people who monologue, because the second habit is just plain stupid. Oh, and people who try to hurt Orihime, but that goes without saying…

On another note, I now have a dog named Sultan who likes napping 50% of the time, lying down to have his stomach rubbed, leaning against my leg, and being bribed to go out for walks. He is apparently a Saluki cross, or lurcher if you want the less attractive term… Go figure.

* * *

"…I hate you," grumbled Ganju as he brushed sand out of his clothing, looking up at Ichigo. The hollow seemed preoccupied, obviously not paying any attention at all.

He twitched at the lack of attention. "Hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you – "

"You should probably come out. It's rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations," Ichigo commented, staring up at the roof of one of the buildings.

…_what? There's someone there?_

Two figures leapt down soundlessly. One, a bald man with red markings around his eyes, was smirking; the other was exceptionally girlish-looking, with feathers attached to his face as an odd form of decoration.

"Huh… we were just late for guard duty, but it looks like something more interesting came to us!" The bald man's smirk widened even further.

"Ichigo! Who're you talking to? Turn around so I can see!"

_Oh, right… the talking plushie on his back._

Baldy blinked. "Do you have a mouth on your back or something?"

"No. It's just Kai."

"Ichigo!" The plushie backpack flailed frantically. "At least tell me so I know what they look like – "

Ichigo's head cocked to one side slightly, apparently considering how best to describe the pair.

"…it's just one bald dude and someone wearing feathers on his face. It looks pretty weird actually."

Both Baldy and Feathers twitched slightly.

_Oh god… he just pissed them off even more._

The bald man pointed at both of them, drawing his zanpakuto. "You've got until I finish my Luck-Luck dance. Then I'll beat you to a pulp."

"Ichigo? Ichigo, if you're dying, let go of me first – " Kai started fiddling frantically with his straps, attempting to undo them to no avail.

"Wait a second, I didn't do anything!" Ganju felt compelled to say. "It's _him _you've got a beef with, not me – "

"Yes, well… you just happen to be so terribly hideous it would be a mercy to kill you." Feathers sighed, lifting a hand up to cover his mouth.

_Well… Rukia Kuchiki has nothing to do with me, so I guess…_

Ganju decided to take the prudent option.

He ran.

* * *

Ikkaku was pissed.

Nonetheless, battle tradition dictated that he at least complete the Luck-Luck dance before engaging his opponent, otherwise who knew what misfortune might occur in the battle?

Midway through the second agility Luck-hop, one of the intruders lost his nerve, sprinting off in the other direction. Ikkaku didn't let this distract him. _If I stop now it'll be a disaster, even worse than not doing the dance in the first place! Besides, Yumichika'll take care of it._

The orange-haired kid seemed entirely in awe of his Luck-Luck dance, though.

_It was totally worth all the work I put into this._

He entered the final position, holding Hozokimaru out in front of him.

"Taaaa!"

The kid was starting to freak him out a little with all the staring, though. _What's he even looking at?_

"You've got a hair… right there…"

"I am NOT bald!" He recovered his composure. _Don't freak out. All he said was that you had hair. Even if he insulted you earlier… _"Anyway… I was pretty surprised. You didn't run with that friend of yours?"

The boy looked utterly bewildered. "Why? It's not like you're that strong an opponent from your reiatsu, so it doesn't matter if I fight you or not, right?"

Twitch.

"Uh, Ichigo?" came the mysterious voice anxiously. "If you're gonna taunt him, could you take me off first so I don't get mauled as well?"

Ikkaku noticed that the orange-haired kid was wearing some kind of backpack. He shrugged it off easily, revealing that it was actually a… _A talking plush lion? What the hell?_

"No matter. For insulting the strength of I, Ikkaku Madarame, Third Seat of the Eleventh, the strongest division in the Gotei 13…" He drew Hozokimaru from its sheath. "I will kill you!"

The kid continued to stare as the small plushie shuffled slowly towards the side of the street, sitting on the pavement.

_Jeez, doesn't he even know how to do this right?_

Ikkaku sighed, breaking the awkward silence. "Kid. You're meant to tell me your name. It's traditional. Then you draw your sword, we fight, I kill you. Got it?"

"That seems like a pretty weird tradition, but…" The boy shrugged, extending one hand. "Ichigo Kurosaki."

…_why the hell do I have to get the nutcase without even an ounce of survival instinct? Who even offers a hand to their enemy when they've just broken into their base?_

He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. _Damn… even after my Luck-Luck dance I still get a complete moron. _"Look. Just draw the damn sword so we can get started."

"I won't need it."

He scowled at the insult.

_I go to all this effort for this bastard and he can't even be bothered to fight me properly?_

"…then you're gonna get your head taken off. Extend, Hozokimaru!"

He leapt, aiming to take the head off in one swift strike. Ichigo's only reaction was to lift his hand.

_What the hell? He thinks he can stop me just by putting his hand out –_

Hozokimaru's blade grinded to a halt against the palm of the boy's hand.

Ikkaku tugged. It was like trying to shift the blade from a slab of stone.

_No… way…_

"Even like this, I can still stop a zanpakuto like yours one-handed… huh, I guess sandal-hat said there _would _be some effects bleeding over onto the gigai." Ichigo frowned in mild curiosity, before squeezing slightly with his hand. A crack ran down the blade, visible for a brief second before the naginata's blade shattered.

"Don't take it personally, though," Ichigo added as he turned around; the plushie that had accompanied him tentatively got up to leave.

_This guy… he's insane…_

"There wasn't anything you could do."

There was only one real response to that.

"BANKAI!"

Hozokimaru roused itself from its semi-slumber, grumbling quietly about being forced to work under such conditions. Ikkaku dashed forwards, slashing out with the guan dao, only for the blade to pass through thin air

and then

nothing.

* * *

"…Ichigo?" Kai didn't quite manage to keep the slight tremble of fear out of his voice.

He didn't turn around to look at the mod soul. Ikkaku had slumped over after Ichigo had knocked him out with one quick strike; his bankai had resealed itself again.

_They won't all be this simple, _cautioned Kaien. _He's the Third Seat; the difference between him and one of the taichous would be like night and day. It's like trying to compare Aaroniero to you, in terms of pure power._

_I know. But still… there's no point in expending unnecessary energy here. I might need it for later._

"Ichigo… did you kill him?" Kai approached cautiously.

"No. He wasn't a threat, and besides…" _He had something of a sense of honour. He wanted to wait until I was armed in order to fight… I'm not going to cause unnecessary death here. That would just draw attention to us._

"…let's go," he concluded.

"Hey! You can't just say stuff like that and leave people hanging!" Kai shook his fist, only to be snatched up and replaced on Ichigo's back. "Oi, if you're going to do that, at least put me on the front so I can have a decent view – "

"Then you'd be more likely to get hit," Ichigo pointed out as he set off in the direction of Ganju Shiba, leaping up onto the roof of one of the nearby buildings. _And if someone tries to ambush us from behind, he might spot them before they can attack._

"…actually, you know what? The back is comfortable too…"

* * *

Ganju was rapidly running out of options.

He glanced behind him. The feathers man was still chasing; the shinigami seemed quite relaxed about the entire matter.

He turned back to look where he was running once more, before his eyes widened.

_Shit, it's a dead end! No wonder he was fine about me running down here… still, I can get out of this one. He doesn't know about my special ability…_

"Seppa!"

A circular portion of the wall turned to sand, falling away and leaving a perfect hole behind. Ganju took advantage of Feathers' momentary distraction to leap through it and escape.

"Hmm… you use an unusual kind of kido… but that won't help you here! And besides, what's behind that wall is – "

A massive pit yawned beyond the newly-created hole. Ganju stopped just in time, his arms windmilling desperately as he fought to keep his balance at the edge.

Feathers stepped calmly through his would-be escape route, smirking widely and blocking off the only remaining exit available to him.

…_damn. For the sake of my brother… I can't just die to some shinigami. That would just be ironic. Actually, was that irony? I didn't study literature that much… these are crappy thoughts to have just before I die. Why couldn't I think of something cooler?_

"What the hell is this place? Who dumps a massive pit like this in the middle of nowhere anyway?" Ganju asked, stalling for time as he attempted to think of another way out. _Maybe I can sort of push the shinigami aside and run back, but… or maybe Ichigo will come… but why would he? I already told him I hated him for having my brother's soul inside his body. He won't help._

Feathers stopped a few feet short of Ganju. "This is the old execution grounds. Did you know they used to throw hollows down there with the criminals, so people could watch as they would fight to the death?" the man said, in an almost conversational tone.

"…that's barbaric."

Feathers' smirk widened. "I know. We've long since outlawed such practices, actually… I just wanted to see the look on your face before you die. Now I suppose the only question is whether you want to go over the edge, or have me cut you down…"

_This guy… no matter what he looks like, saying something like that is disgusting._

"No answer?" Feathers sighed, closing his eyes as he reached down to draw his sword. "Well… I guess I'll just save you the trouble and give you a beautiful death – "

Ganju took shameless advantage of the momentary distraction, pulling out one of his smoke bombs before striking it against his sleeves and tossing it at Feathers. It hit the shinigami right in the face.

"Wh-"

He sprinted past the shinigami just as the bomb exploded.

"What is this… so unbeautiful…" Coughing sounds were audible from within the smoke.

Ganju smirked despite himself. _Complete success!_

"You like it? It's my special recipe, Tear and Blood bomb! It has extra pepper added to the mix – " He winced as his eyes started stinging, before realizing the vital mistake he had made.

…_maybe… I should've left the area… before boasting…_

He spluttered and coughed as the chilli burned his eyes, stinging at the back of his throat.

"How'd… you like the…. taste of my bomb…" he managed, leaning against the wall for support as the air started to clear.

…_oh shit._

Feathers had evidently avoided the worst of the smoke-bomb. He also looked extremely pissed.

"Bloom, Fuji Kujaku."

The zanpakuto split into five, sickle-shaped blades.

Ganju reached into his pockets, coming up with a series of firecracker bombs before lobbing them all at his opponent.

"Senpenbanka!"

The bombs exploded. Unfortunately, Feathers had ducked, managing to avoid the worst of the blast just in time; he stood up now, batting away the smoke before advancing towards Ganju once more.

"Cheap tricks won't help you delay your death."

_Maybe, _thought Ganju grimly, _but if I can position him just right… We're both close to the ledge, though. If this goes wrong…_

"What are you planning? Some heroic self-sacrificial attack? Is that why you're kissing the ground?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Ganju panted. _I wouldn't sacrifice myself for some complete stranger of a shinigami._

Feathers pulled a face. "I suppose I might as well end it all now – "

There was a flicker of movement, and then the shinigami was behind him. Ganju leapt out of the way instinctively to avoid the blow.

Unfortunately, he chose the wrong direction.

Ganju was left swearing mentally as he clung on to the edge of the pit. The tips of his fingers were struggling for purchase, and already sore. Letting go seemed almost tempting for a second, before he glanced down at the yawning abyss below.

_Okay, dying not an option. Dammit Ichigo… can't you have finished already and come here? Unless he's dead too… but at least my brother's soul will be free if a shinigami killed him…_

He heard the approaching footsteps of the shinigami, and looked up. Feathers was there, smirking; the blade in his hand would make short work of Ganju's fingers. Just one quick slice, and then he would be tumbling downwards into the pit, with no hope at all.

_Shit._

"You made a vital mistake… please remember not to be reincarnated ugly next time. But at least I can give you a nice, clean, pretty death to compensate, I suppose…" The shinigami came a little closer, leaning over the edge of the pit.

_Just one… inch… closer…_

The foot landed in the prepared area. Ganju gave himself a mental congratulations. There was a decent chance he could escape here, alive.

"You know…" he rasped, throat still sore from the pepper. His greatest fear was that the shinigami would cut him off now, but apparently Feathers was self-indulgent in his own victory.

"Yes?"

"Your idea of what's ugly and beautiful… it's stupid." His hand came down on the wall. "The cool one is just the one still standing at the end!"

The section of the ledge that Feathers was standing on turned to sand, causing him to drop down before he caught himself on the ledge. Ganju took shameless advantage of the opportunity, using the shinigami's head to push himself upward back onto solid ground.

The shinigami managed to flip himself back up off the ledge one-handed, landing back on the remaining ground again. _He looks pissed. Good._

"Touching my head with your filthy hands…"

"Don't matter. It's over for you!" Ganju slammed his hands against the ground. "Renkan Seppa Shen!"

A massive hemispherical section of the platform slid off, tumbling down into the abyss below. Once again, though, Feathers managed to find the unnatural speed that the shinigami were infamous for, leaping to safety once more.

_That is so unfair. I mean, what the hell is with that? It's like some kind of cheapass trick they all pull out, _thought Ganju as he pulled out a Shiba Extra Special, striking it against his lighter bracers. The end immediately started sparking ominously as the shinigami glowered at him.

"That will be the last time you ever – " Feathers began, before Ganju lobbed the smoking ball at him.

"Catch."

Feathers reacted instinctively when faced with a fast-moving object approaching, and caught.

Ganju savoured a brief glimpse of the expression of horror on Feather's face, just before the Extra Special exploded. It was a real cracker, too; a lavish shower of purple and orange sparks rained down from the sky, making a fitting monument to mark the occasion.

…_I guess I'd better get back and see where that hollow's gotten to… might be problematic if he starts eating people. Though I guess if they're shinigami…_

"Yo."

Ganju shrieked, leaping about a foot into the air at the arrival of the hollow.

"Don't _do _that, dammit!" he snapped, before calming down slightly. "Anyway, what took you so long?"

The orange-haired hollow shrugged. "I would've helped you sooner, but after I knocked out Ikkaku – "

"Who?" Ganju asked, mystified.

"The bald dude… well, there were a bunch of other people who got pissed and started chasing after me when he lost, so I had to knock all of them out as well."

"…actually… there were about a hundred of those guys and they were all trying to kill us and then he was like _boom _and one second later they all fell over," Kai added. "You have _no idea _how terrifying that was."

Ganju stared.

"I used sonido," Ichigo added helpfully.

…_I need to make a note that Ichigo is a really scary guy if I ever feel like trying to kill him._

* * *

The gigantic, scarred man sniffed the air. He made an incongruous contrast with the bubblegum-haired girl perched on his shoulder.

"Huh… feels like Ikkaku just got himself beat…" he muttered to himself, before his mouth split into a shark-like grin. "I want the guy who did that."

"I know how to get there, Ken-chan! If we just go left and right and left – "

"Gotcha," the man said, before sprinting off down the alley once more.

For a brief moment there was silence, then the roof tiles of a storage building rattled slightly as something – or, rather, someone – shifted their weight.

"…they're gone," whispered Orihime, peeping over the roof to check.

Tatsuki frowned, sliding to the pavement. "That man, Kenpachi-taichou… what was with his reiatsu?"

Uryuu shrugged. "I suppose Urahara-san _did _mention that all the taichous were obscenely powerful." _He didn't seem to have much control, or he might have noticed us. But even so, to constantly exude such pressure… he must be a monster. I wouldn't envy Ichigo if they ever meet._

"Well… we stick out a lot. I mean, everyone round here seems to mostly wear black… probably we'll need new clothing so we can blend in like spies." Orihime made a terribly serious face at this thought; Uryuu restrained the urge to laugh at Tatsuki's expression, before his eyes widened at the massive, balding shinigami rising up behind Orihime.

"Get down!" he shouted.

There was a blur of silver as the zanpakuto swung down.

The giant stood up; he was easily the height of the taichou, Zaraki Kenpachi, but where the captain had given the impression of an uncontrollable, feral strength, this shinigami's reiatsu was pitiful in comparison, although his killer intent was still well-honed.

Tatsuki scowled, her karate uniform now silver as she let go of Orihime's arm. "You bastard… attacking someone from behind like that…"

The giant's head twisted to look at Tatsuki with some curiosity. "Hmm? You managed to avoid my blow… but then, even if you managed to avoid that, you will not be able to avoid my next attack. I will give you ten seconds for regret! Ten – "

And then, in a blur that Uryuu just barely managed to catch a glimpse of, Tatsuki kicked the shinigami in the crotch.

Hard.

Uryuu almost winced in male sympathy, before remembering that this person was the enemy and _had _attempted to cut up Orihime without warning. The nameless shinigami had been driven backwards a little by the force of the blow, and was now on his knees making an odd keening sound as he clutched at his privates.

"Tatsuki-chan…"

The karate expert turned to her friend. "The only cheap shot is the one your opponent uses. Okay?"

Orihime nodded determinedly, dedicating the information to memory.

"Who do you suppose he was?" asked Uryuu, frowning. _He looks tall enough to be some relative of that taichou, and they both have dark hair, but the similarities end about there._

"Who cares?" Tatsuki scowled. "He's an asshole, let's move as soon as I've knocked him out properly."

And, with a swift rabbit punch to the head, the nameless shinigami was unconscious on the floor.

…_I'm never telling Arisawa-san she isn't strong enough again._

* * *

Harunobo Ogidou stared at the scene that met his eyes.

Apparently, someone had managed to defeat Jirobou Ikkanzaka, the Kamaitachi, the master of ranged attacks, and knock him out.

_Such a person must be absolutely terrifying! I wonder what they could look like… _His mind provided fearsome images of a highly muscled Kenpachi-lookalike.

"Ogidou-sama?" asked one of his relief squad members nervously.

He turned, glancing at the timid girl. "Tend to him… but we're not following."

She saluted, before she and four others rushed over to check Jirobou's injuries.

_I'm almost glad I'm in the Fourth… at least people won't expect me to be fighting these monstrosities._


	34. Electrifying Ninja Showdown

**This time on TWiWaB:** Ninjas versus technology!

* * *

**A/N: **Welp... have you ever had one of those stories that you spent ages on and are now stuck with, but don't want to get rid of because it's so goddamn _long?_

Fortunately for you, this is not that story. _That _story has been loitering on my DocManager for about... uh... 2 years, I think. I really need to do something about it.

Also, there's now a photograph of me on my profile! No, really... would this face lie to you?

* * *

Byakuya scowled at the Kuchiki koi pond, or, rather, assumed a facial expression that was about equivalent to scowling, since actually displaying one's emotions for the world to see was for plebeians and not Kuchiki. The peaceful garden was completely ruined; it looked as if some drunk had stumbled into it, crushing much of the carefully cultivated golden reeds and bulldozing a path through several rare and valuable water-lily plants, before throwing up on the bank.

He glanced at the Kuchiki entourage. There had been a protective detail attached to the family since the dawn of the Gotei 13, and its current leader was standing before him, sweating profusely.

"…Kusajishi-fukutaichou again?" he asked in a resigned tone. It was a bad enough day without having to landscape the gardens for the umpteenth time; at first, he'd sent the appropriate paperwork requesting compensation for destruction of property by the bubblegum terror, but seven attempts later he'd given up.

(Renji had eventually explained, in an embarrassed sort of way, that _none _of the paperwork ever got done, due to Yachiru's tendency to use it all for drawing pictures in crayon.)

The shinigami went into an even deeper bow, hair brushing against Byakuya's sandals.

"No, Kuchiki-sama. The guards on duty at the time reported that there were two intruders, male in appearance. Neither of them had pink hair." He waited nervously, forehead still pressed against the floor.

_Two male intruders… perhaps the ryoka came here by accident, _he mused.

"Naturally, the Onmitskidou have already been alerted." The shinigami was trembling visibly now, probably fearing some kind of punishment for informing him that the matter had been passed to another captain.

Byakuya sighed mentally. _Soi Fon is perfectly competent as a taichou, and it _would _be her division's responsibility to take care of any infiltration attempts… but nonetheless, landing in the pond of a very well-known leader of the Gotei 13 smacks of stupidity on the part of an intruder. You'd think they would at least research before trying to break in…_

"Kuchiki-sama?"

"…very well," he said eventually. "Alert me if there are any further developments."

* * *

Chad stared up at the sky.

He could sense the presences of his friends; Tatsuki and Ichigo had been fighting, as well as the other person, Ganju, who he hadn't met before. Everyone had managed to survive the initial crash at least, and nobody was injured severely.

"Hey! You! Get down from there – "

He stared at the shinigami, who appeared to have just realized that he was _not _one of the guards and was paling rapidly.

"…uh… INTRUDER!" the shinigami shouted, at the top of his lungs.

Feet pounded the pavement as a large squadron of shinigami sprinted down the street. Chad slid down from his perch, disturbing a small bird that had decided to settle on his arm.

It was time to get moving, it seemed. Unfortunately, the tower was in the same direction as the road the shinigami were currently blocking.

The various shinigami unsheathed their swords as Chad waited patiently for the inevitable to happen. It took five seconds for them to decide to charge, all at once.

It took another five seconds for Chad to end it.

* * *

Mizuiro pressed himself against the wall, trying to make as little noise as possible. A squad of ninjas had been alerted to their arrival, arriving on whisper-quiet feet. _Probably the people at the mansion sent them a message… although that's quite a fast response time._

Fortunately, both he and Keigo were invisible for the time being. His friend had had the presence of mind to camouflage both of them with his ability.

"Listen up," he heard a male voice say from around the corner. "There have been a pair of intruders spotted near the Kuchiki residence; I hardly need to instruct you of how grave this matter is. We are currently under instruction to recover any intruders alive for interrogation. However, if there is no other option to restrain them, you have full authorization to use justified, and potentially lethal, force."

_That sounds ominous. I don't exactly fancy being waterboarded today…_

"Failure to recover the individuals involved will reflect _extremely _poorly on the Onmitskidou as a whole. I recommend you use all skills at your disposal to use this as an opportunity for promotion. Do you understand me?"

There was a mass 'Yes, sir'.

"Very well… in that case, you have your orders. Depart."

There was a brief breeze from the sudden movement, and then silence.

Keigo's body flowed back into the visible spectrum. "That was close…" He shivered. "What would've happened if they found us?"

"This," said an unfamiliar voice out of nowhere, just before the air rippled to reveal a black-clad ninja.

Keigo leapt back as the masked ninja lunged, tanto slashing at the spot where he had been an instant previously.

"_Shiiiii-_"

Mizuiro took aim, and fired. The ninja collapsed to the floor, spasming as Keigo stared.

He lowered the Taser, deactivating it.

"You just shot him?" Keigo asked incredulously. "Oh great, now they'll be after us for _murder _as well as ruining that dude's garden…"

"It's a Taser, it's meant to stop people from fighting without killing them." Mizuiro prodded the comatose ninja with a toe. _Besides, given he was trying to stab us… what happened to 'recover any __intruders alive'? Not to mention it's worrying that Keigo isn't the only one capable of using that little trick._

The ninja made a weak attempt to move towards his weapon, only to have the tanto snatched away.

"Why the hell did you even have a Taser anyway? I'm pretty sure that's illegal in Japan, how did you even get something like that?" Keigo asked anxiously, fiddling with the sword in his hands.

Mizuiro ignored the question completely. "If you can take his clothes off and find another one, we can disguise ourselves… you can't keep us hidden all the time, so it's best if we hide in plain sight instead."

_Probably best not to tell him how I managed to 'obtain' it from one of _her _boyfriends… although it's annoying it's something I can only use once. He didn't have any more cartridges I could appropriate._

"There's no way in hell I'm getting changed in the middle of the street – "

* * *

Mayuri Kurotsuchi scowled at the recumbent figure of Ikkaku Madarame. The third seat was being deliberately unhelpful in his information gathering spree, and the surveillance system had been briefly shorted out. Mayuri suspected that this was mainly due to the power surge generated when the intruders had passed through the barriers; the system had only recently rebooted once more. Even Nemu's behaviour was more empathic than normal – she'd attempted to interrupt him in his interrogation, meaning he would probably have to make some adjustments to her. Again.

As a result, he was in an even worse mood than usual.

"You are trying to tell me that you encountered the intruders, fought them, and yet managed to gather no information whatsoever on their capabilities?" he snapped, trying to ignore a growing migraine.

"Didn't get their names, either." Ikkaku turned over to face the other direction, not even trying to show respect for his senior officer.

"Very well… in that case, you will receive the fitting punishment for failure – "

A meaty hand clamped over his arm.

He turned round, as if that was necessary to identify the person holding him in place. The ridiculously uncontrolled reiatsu was signal enough that the 11th Division's taichou was in the vicinity, after all; he was the only person who might have intervened, other than Retsu…

"He's mine. That ain't your problem."

Mayuri shot a venomous glare at Ikkaku. "Since your taichou is already present… Nemu, we're leaving."

"Hai." His daughter followed him demurely through the hole in the wall.

_The nerve of that man… although lying to protect an enemy is somewhat curious, I suppose it's partly as a result of that ridiculous battle honour of those Eleventh Squad brutes. He's fortunate Zaraki turned up… I could have extracted the recent experiences from his brain had it not been for the interference. How terribly vexing._

Nonetheless, there were alternatives. There were _always _alternatives.

He reached a decision as he left the healing station, cursorily brushing aside the attentions of the 4th Squad members.

"Nemu. Find the records for the surveillance cameras numbered between 156432 and 157829."

"…Hai, Mayuri-sama."

* * *

Keigo pulled a face as he inspected the ninja outfit. It appeared to be made of some variant of skintight Lycra or spandex, neither of which appealed to him.

They'd managed to find a convenient store-room, which had contained a considerable amount of supplies as well as clothing. Mizuiro had been a little wary of walking straight in, but it seemed the entire place was empty; there were abandoned piles of dirty washing left near giant, soapy tubs, giving the impression its previous occupants had left in a hurry.

He covertly glanced at his friend. Mizuiro was sitting down on a bench, preoccupied with something or other on his phone.

_If it's those Facebook photographs again…_

There was a brief chirrup, making him jump.

_"Mapping complete. 253459 active security cameras detected in area. Deactivate?"_

Keigo started to feel panicky again. "Security cameras? You mean they've been watching us _all this time _– "

"Yes."

The mobile phone burred gently. "_Security system detected: estimated level 3. Releasing wht. ly into systems…"_

* * *

Hiyosu was startled out of his daydream about the organic gigai as the computer started whirring in an agitated manner, its screen illuminating the room with a bright blue light.

"_Oh… right, I'm supposed to cross these two code paths so that the signals will be rerouted… was that supposed to be there? Oh well, I suppose it can't go any worse than it already was – wait, what are these things?"_

There was a dull explosion as Hiyosu stared at the computer's sudden attack of sentience.

_"Oops. That was deliberate!"_

He desperately lunged for the computer, trying to counter the hacker's attempts to break down the system.

"_Nonononono I can't just let him fix it, I'm meant to keep it broken – "_

And then the keyboard set itself on fire.

* * *

"_Mainframe shutdown successful, Mizuiro Kojima!~ Shutting down to conserve energy…"_

Mizuiro slumped over, already unconscious as Keigo shook him frantically.

"Miz? Miz!"

* * *

"…what do you mean, the system has broken down entirely? _Fix it! _All of you dolts, stop hanging around and do something useful – " Mayuri paced the surveillance room, in a towering rage as his underlings frantically struggled with the dead remains. "When I find the idiot responsible for this…"

Seething at the setback, he contemplated suitable punishments for putting him at such an inconvenience.

_I can always use new test subjects. The pseudo-hollowification formula, for a start… test the latest version of the high-speed regeneration serum, and then… yes, I can keep him alive. There's no point in just _killing _him straight away, after all – no, I'll have him screaming for oblivion when I'm done._

"Mayuri-sama?"

"What, girl?" he snapped, turning. "Can't you see I'm – "

He stopped at the sight of the black butterfly perched on Nemu's finger.

Wordlessly, he took the message. There were a few seconds before his face split into a leer.

_Full authorization to use all necessary force… the only problem might be the arrival of the Onmitskidou before I get to the ryoka, but with the cameras out… I could keep their connection to the surveillance system down for a little longer, I suppose. What's an intruder or two to them?_

* * *

Rin took a surreptitious look at his taichou.

_Boy does he look annoyed…_

He had been contemplating the mysterious Orion and his actions. What he had come up with had troubled him; given the way the spy had been talking, it seemed to him as if there was some devious plot to kill Rukia Kuchiki. Taking out the surveillance system – yes, that would be one of a spy's first actions on breaking in… but with the number of people in the 12th Division, it wouldn't be long before the systems were back up once more, and then Mayuri would interfere with Orion's work.

_Actually, maybe Kurotsuchi-taichou is Orion-sama's nemesis! That's why he's so annoyed, because his nemesis just foiled him again, but if the system reboots and Kurotsuchi-taichou gets hold of Orion-sama then all the other spies will be doomed as well… I can do something about that, though._

Resolutely, Rin started up his portable independent computer system. A small part of him thought that there was probably a better name for it, but was quickly overruled by the much more sensible majority.

_Orion-sama is relying on me. This is my chance to prove that his trust in me wasn't misplaced… I won't fail!_

* * *

**New GLaDOS features unlocked!**

**Mapping (?): **This feature permits 3-dimensional mapping of the surrounding area, with the amount of reiryoku used being proportional to the area mapped. Reishi is exuded, before being reabsorbed; this allows GLaDOS to 'sense' landmarks and their nature. This is a fairly energy-consuming function, even for small areas.

**Hack (?): **Using wireless technology, GLaDOS has advanced far enough to be able to tap into the majority of computer systems. The amount of reiryoku necessary depends on the security setup; the majority of devices will require nothing more than the basic charge necessary to run GLaDOS. Once inside a system, it is possible for GLaDOS to retrieve data, scramble it by use of a diverse range of viruses, destroy the system entirely, take complete control of all sensors attached to said system, or perform any functions that said system might be capable of.


	35. Squiddy

**This time on TWiBaW: **_Unleash the Kraken. _Kai, why don't you use your indoor voice when indoors ;o;

* * *

**A/N: **(I always wanted to say that.)  
Mayuri Kurotsuchi should be forbidden from watching any Living World movies/anime/cartoons, ever, just in case they give him ideas.  
Fourth Division members are all quiet, as an evolutionary protective measure.

The week delay comes as a culmination of a nasty head cold, Internet issues, and... uh... the rediscovery of my FFI&II Dawn of Souls roms.

Also... this is a T-rated story. If you were thinking naughty things from the chapter title, I am terribly disappointed in you. ಠ_ಠ

* * *

Hanatarou was in a hurry.

He'd initially forgotten his emergency medic pack when he'd been called out, and, as such, he'd lost his callout team. Given the number of casualties from the 11th Division, he was very much needed at that moment.

_Ah… that sounds like them coming around the corner. They came back for me –_

And then, rounding the corner, he crashed into somebody. Two somebodies, in fact.

_All the pretty birdies making chirping voices… wait, they don't look like shinigami!_

The orange-haired one stared at him. Neither were wearing the standard uniform of the 4th Division, nor, for that fact, the Shihakushou of the Seireitei. Admittedly the dark-haired one with funny eyelashes was wearing big puffed-up black pants with swirls on them, but they were quite definitely –

"…you're the ryoka we're meant to be fighting, aren't you…" Hanatarou asked in a quavering voice. _They look like they'd eat me up for breakfast. Maybe they're the ones who knocked out the entire 11th Division and the Kamaitachi and then made a massive crater outside the old execution grounds…_

"Yep." The orange-haired one smiled at him, causing him to flinch. "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, by the way."

"Ichigo?" came a voice from behind. "He's an enemy! You're not meant to just say 'Oh hi there, I'm your enemy, how're you today?'"

Ichigo frowned slightly. "But then how are they supposed to know my name – "

"Your name is not the issue! Does he look like he wants to know you name before you beat the crap out of him?" yelled the dark-haired one, scowling.

"…the other one did. And he told me _his _name, too."

"Yeah, well, he was kinda weird. I mean, who goes around _looking _for a fight anyway?" came the reply, with a dismissive wave of the hand.

Ichigo glanced at the other man. "Ganju?"

"What?"

"…I just want to say I didn't beat the crap out of him. I just tried to knock him out. Gently."

By now, Hanatarou was pretty much convinced that both Ichigo and Ganju were insane.

_They came in here and they're chatting so casually… not to mention by Ichigo's account, he didn't even use much effort to knock his enemies out. What kind of people _are _they?_

"…Hanatarou Yamada," he ventured, not quite sure whether or not this was the right course of action.

"Nice to meet you!" Ichigo beamed at him as Ganju scowled, turning away. "Do you know how to get to the Shrine of Penitence, by the way? I was thinking about running across the rooftops – "

There was a sputter from the third, invisible person behind Ichigo.

" – but I thought maybe that might be a bit obvious," he continued blithely.

Ganju's jaw worked up and down soundlessly for a few seconds, before he managed to find his voice.

"You wanted to do _what?_"

"…uhm… actually I do know how to get to the Shrine of Penitence," volunteered Hanatarou before Ichigo could answer. "Do you want me to take you there? I think we should be able to avoid everyone…"

Both ryoka stared at him.

"Why'd you want to help us?" asked Ganju, suspicious.

"The only person in there is Rukia Kuchiki… I've been looking after her for the past week. She talked quite a bit, but… if you're here to rescue her, then I'll help you."

_I'm not strong enough to save her by myself, I know that, but… if these people want her safe… maybe there's a chance._

Ichigo beamed at him. "Okay! Where do we go, then?"

* * *

Ichigo stared up at the cavernous ceiling of the sewers. It was just possible to make out the little circle of light sliding shut as Hanatarou slid the drain cover back in place.

_It looks a lot like that water reservoir I saw once in the Menos Forest… I wonder if there's anything living down here?_

There was a splash as Ganju jumped down, landing in a puddle. Hanatarou followed more slowly, climbing down one rung at a time.

"Wow… this is massive!"

Kai's voice echoed, the sound rebounding off the walls. Hanatarou flinched at the sound.

"Please don't be so loud down here…"

Ganju looked around. "It's kinda cool that you've got these secret passages down here. How'd you find out about them? Is there some kind of stealth training for your division or something?"

The shinigami winced. "Actually, it's because the Fourth Division gets all the bad jobs, like supply delivery and sewage maintenance, so we have to know our way around here. There are things living in the sewers, though, so it's best if you keep your voice down." Hanatarou lowered his voice. "Sometimes shinigami go down here and don't come back. They say something _eats _people down here."

Ichigo glanced at the liquid running through the tunnel with renewed interest.

…_I think that's just a rumour they made up to scare the novices, _Kaien commented quietly. _They used to have a dare that the academy students would go down there at night – it was something of an initiation ceremony, actually. Although I guess there _could _be something living down there that I didn't know about. The sewage systems are huge._

"Who even dug this out? It must've taken ages!" muttered Kai from his perch.

"They've been here forever… I don't think anyone knows when they were built, except maybe Yamamoto-soutaichou." Hanatarou set off down the pipe, the click of his wooden geta muffled somewhat by the layer of slime coating the stone.

Ganju followed warily, trailing behind Ichigo.

_He's probably worried I'm going to eat him if he doesn't keep an eye on me or something…_

"…are we nearly there yet?" asked Kai. "This place stinks."

Hanatarou gave a nervous glance at the plushie. "It's a long way, even if we go underground… it'll still take a while to get there."

There was a faint _plish. _Ichigo's head snapped towards the source of the noise; ripples were beginning to spread across the surface of the water.

"Uh."

"What?" asked Ganju, blissfully oblivious to the disturbance.

Hanatarou turned, then blanched. Long, purplish, suckered tentacles were snaking out of the water, reaching towards them as a gigantic eye surfaced.

"…oh shit," Ganju swore.

The pupil swivelled towards them.

"Ichigo?"

"There's a giant squid. In the sewers. Why the hell is there a giant squid in the _sewers?_! What the hell does it even eat – " Ganju dodged as a tentacle lashed out, hitting where he had been just moments before.

Nobody needed any further prompting to run as fast as possible.

"You really had to ask that question, didn't you?" Kai moaned. "Jeez, that thing looks pissed – oh crap _it's coming out of the water _– "

Ichigo glanced behind him. The water further down the tunnel was seething. A mass of tentacles flailed, suckering themselves to the walls of the cavern as the creature attempted to haul itself completely out of the water.

_That thing would make a lot of sushi, _he thought. _Although given what it's swimming in, I'm not sure I'd want to eat any food made from it…_

Ganju swore colourfully as the tentacles extended, snaking towards them with surprising speed.

"Get in the service tunnel," panted Hanatarou as he ran, pointing ahead at a small metal door.

Nobody needed to be told twice, hurtling into the passageway. Ichigo slammed the door tightly shut behind him as Hanatarou fumbled with a set of keys.

"One moment… if I don't lock it, other people might come down here and get eaten by accident – "

Something heavy slammed against the door on the other side, causing the tunnel floor to shudder violently under their feet.

"…Let's just keep going, okay?"

* * *

Keigo was anxious.

His best friend was still unconscious, and they were both in the middle of enemy territory. He'd explored a little, which had revealed that the storeroom was next to some kind of steam room filled with bathtubs, soap and laundry, as well as weird metal grates. He hadn't dared to explore further than that, though, not with Mizuiro unconscious.

_It sounds like someone's coming back…_

Instinctively, he shimmered out of the visible spectrum, slipping out of the back door as the voices came nearer.

* * *

One solitary screen whirred into life.

"_Connection established…_"

The entirety of the observation squad rushed over as Rin's heart did a backflip.

"What?"

"You managed to purge the traces from the system already? But the hardware – "

"Oh, _finally, _at least _something's _started up again – "

"_Pinpointing coordinates… 3145, 6254, 24." _A map of the Seireitei lit up on the screen, one point picked out in bright red.

_What's going on? Is this Orion-sama's doing? But… that location is just a storeroom for basic supplies, it's not like anything important will be there –_

"Someone get the taichou, we need to let him know about this!" someone called frantically, scribbling down the information on a piece of paper as the screen switched off again.

"_Have a nice day… Mizuiro Kojima~_"

* * *

"Dammit… why'd we get washing duties… aren't the Fourth Division meant to be doing this…" moaned one shinigami as he dragged a sack of dirty laundry into the washing house, dumping it next to a large tub. "We're_scientists!_"

His companion shrugged. "Come on, it's not that bad, right? At least we don't have to deal with those ryoka that're running around." The shinigami shuddered. "You heard they wiped out the entire Eleventh already? Not to mention…" He lowered his voice. "The taichou's in a mood again – "

He crumpled to the ground. The other shinigami stared, open-mouthed, before joining his friend on the floor.

"…I didn't know you took karate classes, Inoue-san…"

"I taught her," pointed out Tatsuki. "After all that business at primary school, I guessed teaching her self-defence was probably the next best thing to being around all the time."

_I suppose that makes sense…_

"We'd better get changed," said Orihime as she rummaged through a sackful of clean clothing. "I think this one should be the right size for you, Ishida-kun – " She deposited a bundle of black cloth into his arms, before_pulling off her own T-shirt _–

He spluttered, red-faced as he shielded his eyes.

"…Orihime…"

"Uh, I brought a portable changing room tent you could use. I mean, not that you're – " He struggled for a second, trying to come up with some way of conveying that Orihime Inoue was _extremely attractive _whilst avoiding being beaten up by Tatsuki. " – not pretty, but – "

"Ah! Of course… I should have waited for you to put up your tent first so you can get changed in private!"

He lowered the arm from over his eyes. Thankfully, Orihime's top was in its previous position.

"That wasn't actually what I meant – " He gave up, before glaring at Tatsuki, who was trying very hard not to laugh. "Alright."

_Somehow, this wasn't what I imagined using this tent for, _he thought as he slipped the uniform over his own clothing. There was no way he was getting rid of his Quincy uniform, not after so much love had gone into it._Not to mention the buttons…_

He frowned slightly at the slight echoes of Ichigo's thoughts – something about Pirates of the Caribbean, and teriyaki squid – before deciding it was probably best not to ask.

* * *

The door had long since broken down. Hanatarou and Ganju had fled down the service tunnel, along with Kai.

The kraken did _not _look happy at being woken up.

_Hey, Kaien… this stuff still counts as 'water', right?_

There was a mental wince. _Well… _yes, _I suppose, but still –_

"Rankle the seas and the heavens, Nejibana!"

The zanpakuto twisted, taking the familiar form of a crystal trident, water swirling about the tip. The monster barely had the time to notice this new development before the sewage churned up, forming a giant whirlpool and dragging it back beneath the surface.

The liquid began to take on a brownish hue, its surface stilling once more.

…_Ichigo? _said Kaien tentatively.

_Yeah?_

_Nejibana says if you ever use her powers to control anything that disgusting again… she'll kill you._


	36. Metastable Equilbrium

**This time on TWiBaW:** Tidying up some loose ends before EPIC FIGHT x4 COMBO (sort of).

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter took a surprisingly long time to write.  
I have now completed the entirety of the Dawn of Souls campaign, including slaughtering Omega and Shinryu (which took a while), genoiciding Captains, maxing out Toad and putting double Masamunes on every single character, turning Minwu into a tank, turning the Emperor into a toad, and Soul of Rebirth. There were lots of amphibians involved in this process, just in case you couldn't tell.

As a result, I am now back to writing a lot faster again. We apologise for the delay in your regular service update.

Also, canon!Ganju doesn't actually have a zanpakuto, but it fits better for the purpose of this story.

* * *

"…you look distracted, Renji."

Renji glanced up from his position leaning against the wall, only to meet Rangiku Matsumoto's impressive bust.

He hastily dragged his gaze upwards to her face. "I'm fine. Seriously!"

She gave him a sympathetic look, before enfolding him in one of her infamous hugs and patting him on the back.

"Matsu-" he managed to gasp, before being released from the death grip.

"Sorry… it was just you looked so _depressed _and I thought, what better way to cheer him up than to give him a welcoming – " She cut herself off at the expression on his face.

"It's just… Rukia." He gestured hopelessly, as if to express his emotions right now.

"What the hell should I even be doing? Even though I'm a fukutaichou now, it's not as if I can just barge into the Central 46 and say 'Hello, could you let her go please because she's not guilty of anything except bad drawing'! It's exactly the same as last time, I'm still useless to stop them!"

Except he didn't _actually _say this, not in a meeting of fukutaichous in front of a lot of people who had served the Gotei 13 faithfully all their lives. _After all, if I said I was gonna go against direct orders and break her out, I'd probably land myself a place right next to her if they caught me, _he thought gloomily.

Rangiku patted him on the back in a comforting manner. "Cheer up… I'm sure it'll get sorted out. It's not as if they can just – "

And then Isane Kotetsu entered, followed by Momo Hinamori.

"Abarai-kun!" The fukutaichou of the 5th Division waved cheerily to him, smiling despite everything. Isane, though, looked harassed, if anything. _Probably she's been dealing with all the guys from Eleventh who got their asses beat. Given the way that guy Ichigo acted –_

He froze as a thought struck him.

"Sorry, I won't be able to stick around for long… we're all swept off our feet dealing with all the injured shinigami, not to mention someone said something about a _thing _in the sewers again – " Isane stopped. "Abarai-san? Are you alright?"

"I… there's something I have to – " _No, I can't say anything. If they're really going after Rukia, there's only one bottleneck they can go through in order to get up to the Penitence Shrine. They'll be going through there at some point, no matter what!_

He dashed through the door, narrowly missing Kira on the way out.

"Renji? Renji!"

"Cover for me, okay?" he called back to Kira, as he slipped into shunpou, already racing across the rooftops.

_I just hope I can get there in time… before someone else figures it out._

* * *

Mayuri stared at the surveillance squad.

"…someone hacked into our systems for a _second _time, and then decided to inform us of their present location," he said finally. "Is _that _what you were trying to say?"

_The idea of such a thing is patently absurd… unless the sole purpose of this visit was to insult the abilities of the Scientific Research Bureau. What kind of fool would go out of their way to mock _me… _at any rate, it doesn't matter. The response will still be the same._

The members shuffled nervously from foot to foot, awaiting his response.

"Send out… yes, send out dispatch team #4 to retrieve them. There will be _no _failure this time."

* * *

The iron manhole cover scraped slightly as it rose off the ground. Plush paws clung to the edge as Kai peered through the narrow gap.

"All clear," he hissed down to the people below.

Ganju pushed, causing the manhole cover to slide onto the pavement with a clatter. The three adventurers emerged, blinking, into the sunlight.

"_Man _that place sucked," said Kai with feeling, brushing himself down. "I don't know if the smell's ever gonna get out of my stuffing… uh, guys? Guys?" He trailed off, realizing that nobody was paying attention to him.

The shinigami standing on the roof leapt down from his vantage point.

"I thought you'd be coming this way… since it's pretty much the only ground route to the Penitence Shrine."

Ganju cursed silently, before drawing his zanpakuto. The shinigami, though, didn't seem to have any intention of fighting. He didn't even touch the hilt of his own weapon.

_Where the hell is Ichigo when you need him?_

"Hey… sorry I'm late, there was some stuff I needed to sort out." There was a scraping sound as Ganju spun round; Ichigo replaced the manhole cover, before giving a cheery wave to the unknown shinigami. "Yo, Renji!"

"Shit!" shrieked Kai. "Don't sneak up on me like that… wait, you _know _this guy?" An accusatory paw pointed at Ichigo. "Why the hell didn't you tell _us?_!"

"I did… besides, he came round to the apartment. I guess you didn't see him at the time."

_Huh… so they met each other before. Maybe he's a friend of this Rukia's as well…_

Renji stared.

"You're with these guys?"

"Yes."

The shinigami scowled. "…there's a private rest station nearby. We can talk properly there."

* * *

Mizuiro groaned, propping himself up using his elbows, before being pinned back down again.

"Miz… dammit, why'd you have to go scare me like that?"

He tentatively patted Keigo on the back as his friend continued to weep into his shirt.

_Okay, I think my top's damp enough now._

"Where are we?" he asked, pushing Keigo gently off as he sat up.

_I'm on a bed… this looks like someone's bedroom, not the laundry room we were in earlier. Did he move us or something like that?_

"Well, I heard some people coming, so then I thought it would be best if we got moving before they arrived because I didn't know how long they would stay here for… then I had a look at your phone because I thought I might be able to use it. It had a map app, and it said there are loads of mini rest stations around this place, so I just picked one of them and locked it up for now." Keigo paused. "Was that okay?"

Mizuiro realized his mouth was hanging wide open at his friend's sudden burst of ingenuity.

He shut it again. "You managed to get it to work?"

Keigo shrugged. "Sure, it wasn't that hard. I couldn't get it to do any advanced stuff like you do, but I think it saved the map to its memory, so it wasn't as if it was only available to you or something like that." He coughed. "Uh… was that wrong or something? I mean, I know it's your private stuff but it was pretty urgent – "

"…It's fine. Thanks," he added as an afterthought, before looking around properly.

The room wasn't large enough to classify as a broom closet by his mother's standards. The bunk bed he was lying on was close enough to _both _walls that he could touch them at the same time, without moving. There was a small cupboard in the corner of the room, but that was about it as far as furniture was concerned.

_"He left fingerprints all over my touchscreen. Do you have _any _idea how that makes me feel?"_

Mizuiro winced inwardly at the sound of the manifestation of his ability.

_Why couldn't it be trainers or something? At least Keigo's trainers don't talk back. And they don't drain his energy to the point where he blacks out…_

"I could clean it off for you – "

"_With your shirt, I'm sure. I feel cleaner already._"

Keigo got up, before fumbling the object on top of the cupboard as it burred indignantly.

"_That wasn't an invitation to make everything _dirtier._"_

Mizuiro intervened by picking up the phone, wiping the camera lens off with a cloth before GLaDOS could insult Keigo further.

"…so," said Keigo, breaking the awkward silence. "Where next?"

"Penitence Shrine. It'll be shortest if we take the north-west route from here." He glanced around; there were a couple of the black ninja uniforms at the end of the bed. "Hopefully, they won't spot us…"

* * *

(Ten minutes later, nobody batted an eyelid when the 'In Use' sign on the door slid to 'Free', and two indistinguishable black-clad ninjas slipped out of the rest room.)

* * *

Uryuu Ishida scowled at his new attire. The uniform had a little flower symbol stitched into it, something slightly spiky-looking that Orihime said was a thistle. Apparently, that indicated that it had originally belonged to a 12th Division member.

This did _not_ help to improve his mood.

_Why couldn't I have had something different? _he wondered, as he 'helped' Orihime carry Tatsuki.

"Remember," Orihime had told him, "if anyone asks, you're helping me, the fourth Division member, with Tatsuki, the injured eleventh Division member, get to the hospital. Okay? It's a _perfect _disguise!"

_Well, it seems as if our first test will be coming shortly, _he thought as a shinigami approached. He was heavily-built, and didn't have the appearance of a medic or a scientist. _Maybe he's from the Eleventh Division, though… that would be problematic._

To Uryuu's dismay, the shinigami slowed down.

"Hey! What're you doing?"

_Great, he smells drunk as well._

"Ah…" Orihime smiled weakly. "That is to say, we're helping Tats-chan get to the medics, because she's injured."

The shinigami's eyes narrowed at this. "Huh? What division're you from?"

_He's asking too many questions… this could be problematic. _"Twelfth."

"Fourth…"

"Eleventh." Tatsuki glared at the man, daring him to say more.

"Never seen you before… hah! You don't have a zanpakuto, and besides, ev'ryone knows there's only one girl in Eleventh. A pansy like you couldn' even – "

That was as far as the shinigami got, before Tatsuki's fist swung into his face.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying again? I didn't quite hear you," she said, in a falsely sweet tone.

The man shifted into a crouch, pinching his bloody nose. "Ow… damn, okay, I admit you're from Eleventh, alright? You can have my seat already! I, Makizou Aramaki, officially hand over – "

"There you are!"

There were more shinigami hurrying down the street now, with friendly smiles, waving. A dozen alarm bells started ringing in Uryuu's head.

_Why would anyone be looking for us?_

"We saw you got lost, but it's best not to be going alone right now – especially with all those ryoka about… not to mention the eleventh guys are spoiling for a fight – "

"Hey… she's the tenth seat of Eleventh, don't diss her!" Makizou managed, fingers still pinched onto his nose to stop the bleeding.

" – we should get back to the quarters, there are lots of fights going on – "

Uryuu glanced at Tatsuki. _It looks like I'm not the only person who doesn't buy this._

"Oh, no, it's absolutely fine, you don't have to help me, I'm from fourth – "

Orihime backed off slightly, as the group leader's facial expression became slightly desperate.

He reached out towards her. "You have to – "

And then they all exploded.

Messily.

Uryuu threw himself to the ground. Tatsuki had done likewise, bringing Makizou down with her; Orihime, however, had remained standing, as a shimmering, three-point golden shield stood, keeping away the brunt of the force.

"How terribly irritating… evidently I will need to get the design changed again." There was a sigh as the smoke dissipated slightly. "I suppose that would be _one _thing to integrate into your body to start with... Nemu? Make a note of that."

A white-coated man walked towards them, avoiding the worst of the viscera now decorating the pavement as Uryuu's breath caught in his throat. Despite everything, the man's face – or, rather, what was _covering _the man's face – was something that featured frequently in his nightmares.

_That mask… I still remember. It's the same person…_


	37. Catharsis

**This time on TWiBaW: **Epic Fight #1 (Catharsis)

* * *

**A/N: **1/?

Due to an error on the author's part (being stupid and not reading the small print), this chapter got a bit delayed. On the bright side, I now know that my DocX outbox doesn't clear itself automatically, and that yes there _is_ a limit on how many files you can have in it. The next chapter is already partly started, so there shouldn't be delays... she says...  
Also, apparently I can now have a cover for my story. Hoo yay. Even more ways to exert my nonexistent computer graphics skills! (I should really work on that.)

As an additional note, I am not Robert Frost.

Anyway, I won't keep you any longer...

* * *

Some say the world will end in ice  
some say in fire.

From what I've known of my despair  
I'd think that life would wither there  
upon a dying sphere of hate and hoar

_(but if I were to die once more  
__this frozen world to melt and thaw_  
_ instinct spread its wings and soar_  
_ then passion would consume us in its ire)_

* * *

_What kind of man willingly kills his own subordinates? They barely had a chance to catch us! No matter what else they did... I'm pretty sure nobody deserves to die like that._

The golden shield dissipated as the three small fairies holding it up separated, returning to Orihime's hairpins once more. Tatsuki prised herself up off the pavement; her armour had appeared instinctively on top of the shinigami uniform, although she hadn't reacted to the explosion in time to cover everyone.

_It's just as well Orihime was paying attention. That could've been pretty bad._

Uryuu glanced sideways at Orihime. "Thanks for that… it would have been painful if that had reached us."

She smiled nervously at him. "No problem… but it's still…" Her expression became downcast. "I couldn't help the rest of them."

"Hmm. Some kind of defensive shield, but not a standard kido. How unusual… I suppose that will _partially _make up for the fact that you wrecked the entire security system." The masked man bared his teeth in what might, on anyone else, have been a smile.

Tatsuki blinked. "Wait, _what?_" _We didn't do any of that stuff… although admittedly Mizuiro's phone thing might be able to do something like that. Come to think of it, it's a good thing if he _did_ shut the security system down, or we'd have been spotted that much sooner._

"Arisawa-san? I want you to take Inoue-san with you and run." Uryuu's gaze was completely focused on the masked man now. "Go. If you stay here, I can't guarantee that you'll be safe."

"Hey, you're… you're going to take on the taichou of Twelfth Division?" stuttered the recumbent 11th Division member. "But… he's really scary, there's no way you can just beat him!"

Tatsuki almost opened her mouth to argue, just before she noticed the expression on Uryuu's face. It wasn't one that people saw often, and most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference between this and his standard scowl, but the last time she'd seen it had been when Grand Fisher had shown up.

It meant someone was going to _die._

_G_iven the amount of training Uryuu had been doing, she was willing to bet a considerable amount that this time, it wasn't going to be him. Tatsuki had no idea what Uryuu was actually capable of, but…

_Damn, _she realised. _He knows me too well… I wouldn't want Orihime to see this, but she isn't going to leave by herself, and I doubt this 11th Division guy is trustworthy enough to take her to safety._

"Ishida? If you die, I'm finding you in the afterlife just so I can beat you up for making Orihime upset."

Uryuu didn't take his eyes off his opponent. "Fine."

_…that's probably the closest I'll get to a promise from him to stay alive. I guess it'll have to do._

"Tats-chan," Orihime began, presumably to object, just before the demure-looking girl standing behind the taichou blurred and vanished, reappearing in front of them.

Tatsuki's metallic sleeves extended, wrapping around the girl before whipping backwards. The ends uncurled for a brief second, sending her flying down the street.

Makizou stared. "How'd you-"

One metal sleeve clamped over his mouth, before winding around his body. The other secured itself around Orihime as Tatsuki took off down the street.

_I'm not waiting for her to get back up. Hopefully she'll chase us, and that'll be one less person for Uryuu to deal with…_

* * *

(your nightmares are awake, they say hello)

* * *

_You run blindly. Sensei told you to leave a while ago; you know you were distracting him, and he was trying to restrain the hollows, not kill_

(destruction of souls, _he tells you, _is the worst fate possible, and you should leave hollows to the shinigami)

_except he's struggling, you can feel him struggling, and they're much stronger than normal. There are five of them, and even with his abilities he can only hold them in place so long until they break free. You were going to call for help, except that the only help would be Ryuuken, and he isn't a Quincy, he doesn't use the powers._

_Not ever._

_You know far better than to disobey sensei. The one time you did, you were feeling rebellious and decided to practise on your own. (Ryuuken found you with bloody hands the next day, from where the bow wrecked your fingers because you didn't let go in time.) He told you to always listen to him, no matter what._

_Ichigo gave you a look when you told him this, not quite able to meet his gaze._

_"You're not even gonna break his rules if it saves his life?"_

(sometimes what's right isn't always what should be done, _Sensei said, and you wondered what he meant at the time_)

_"…no... I mean, yes..."_

_"Well then. What're we waiting for?"_

_You're still unsure about whether or not you can do this, but despite what Ryuuken always says, you do have talent. And you're going to prove it._

_You both slow down. It's no use if you alert the hollows to your presence; Ichigo is more attractive to them than you are. Sensei taught him enough to hide his presence a little... although you're not sure whether it might be better to draw some of the hollows off with his help-_

_No. You won't ask. He'd accept in a heartbeat _(and then he wouldn't be able to escape in time)_._

_You need a better vantage point. You can't shoot from this angle, but there are plenty of trees and the chain rattles as you shin up one of them -_

_"Uryuu, we gotta move quicker-"_

_Sensei's reiatsu flickers like a candle in the wind as you swing yourself onto a branch, then it dies completely._

_The hollows are still there, all five of them, crouching over something crumpled on the ground as Ichigo struggles to regain his balance._

_"Sensei?"_

_"Oyaji!"_

_your voice shakes _(please don't be dead)

_and the air splits open._

_You stare, wide-eyed, still perched on the branch, as people step out. They are black-clad, mainly, and all have swords. The hollows turn towards them, only to be cut down in a heartbeat._

_These are the shinigami your grandfather told you about, the ones he had wished to build a new future with, the ones responsible for governing the passage of souls._

_They, and you, are the ones who have failed him (and Ichigo)._

_One man has a strange mask, black-and-white. He is different; he sweeps through the others in his white coat with barely a glance at them as they scurry around him, picking up the pieces and struggling with odd devices in their hands. He bends over your grandfather, analytical, cold._

_"This is the last one, then... Just an old man? It's a wonder he didn't die sooner. I suppose he will probably turn out to be the weakest of the lot.__"_

_The man sighs. You burn with righteous fury at the insult to Sensei -_ he was strong, he just didn't want to destroy them -_ before the leader shinigami turns in your direction._

_Ichigo looks about to scream. You clamp a hand over his mouth. He's not going with these people, not after today -_

(if you lose him now, there'll be nothing left)

_You press yourself against the tree's trunk, willing yourself to go invisible as you lower your reiatsu as far as you can. Sensei taught you to hide yourself from other hollows as well, even if you couldn't fight them. You don't know if it'll be enough against the shinigami. They might have other things to find you, like special sensors to pick up Ichigo's presence, and your heartbeat is unnaturally loud in your ears so you feel as if they might hear if they come any closer -_

_And then the masked shinigami turns to leave, as the others pack up. You can make out two of them pick up Sensei's body, although it's blurred now. For an instant you wonder if your glasses fell off, too, before realising that it's your tears rather than short-sightedness. Ichigo is still there, clinging onto you as if his soul depends on it._

_The moment that door closed shut behind them was the first time you realised what it felt like to hate someone._

* * *

Uryuu stared his enemy down.

_It's odd, _he thought in a detached fashion. _I thought he was taller. Or was that just because I was younger then... he's about the same height as me._

_Uryuu? _came his friend's voice, quietly.

_Ichigo... no matter what happens, don't intervene. This is something I need to finish for myself._

"You just lost me two new subjects..." Mayuri turned to snarl at his fukutaichou. "Nemu! Get up, you incompetent fool!"

Nemu pried herself out of the wall, causing a few lumps of masonry to fall down. "Hai, Mayuri-sama."

"You know, I _was _going to offer you preferential treatment. It's not an offer I make lightly, you know, and even with the damage you did to the security system I was prepared to be somewhat lenient... given their _abilities_..." The shinigami's eyes narrowed. "But since you seem to insist on being such an interfering brat, I won't bother."

The silver bow was in his hand the moment Mayuri drew his zanpakuto.

"A Quincy, hmm... I'm afraid your experimental value just dropped even _further_."

"What?" Uryuu managed, thrown off by the unexpected comment.

Mayuri gave him a disdainful glance. "As the second leader of the Scientific Research Bureau, I've already completed all my research on the Quincy. Their abilities, their physical tolerances to pain, the reaction to mental and physical stimulation... although they always had that irritating _pride_ getting in the way." The shinigami's voice shifted into a higher, singsong tone. "Upon the pride of the Quincy, I will never do such a thing! I swear on the pride of the Quincy, I will not let that happen!" His voice dropped back into its normal register. "Pathetic. Not to mention the last one was this dirty old man I had to use, since the number of test subjects was running out..."

Uryuu didn't hear the next few words of the shinigami; a low-pitched humming noise seemed to be filling his ears, blocking out the other man's voice.

_This man..._

Mayuri produced a piece of paper, dropping it carelessly. It fluttered to the ground, landing blank side down. Printed on it was a photograph; its subject matter was barely recognisable as a human being.

_Calm yourself. You need to control your emotions, in order to use the bow. _It was something Sensei had told to him before. _Never draw in anger, or it will turn on you._

His hand fell to the asauchi at his hip.

_I'm not angry at him._

Mayuri's head tilted slightly to one side.

"Hmm? A sword... I was under the impression that the pride of the Quincy-" this last was said with some derision "-only let you use a bow and arrow. I suppose that will make this _marginally _more interesting, but nonetheless, the end result will still be the same. Engaging in a zanjutsu contest with a taichou is pure foolishness."

_All I feel for him is overwhelming hatred._

The shinigami lifted the zanpakuto. "Rip, Ashogi Jizou."

In front of his eyes, the blade split, separating into several curves as the hilt took on the form of a baby's head.

Despite himself, Uryuu was apprehensive; he'd learned the hard way not to underestimate the shape of a shinigami's zanpakuto when it was released. _That run-in with Benehime taught me that, if nothing else. And besides, they usually have some other ability than just cutting-__  
_

And then Nemu was before him, her hand coming up towards his abdomen.

He moved reflexively, landing on a nearby rooftop with a burst of hirenkyaku to get out of the way as he levelled the bow -

"So you can use that technique, as well?"

Uryuu cursed mentally as he ducked under Ashogi Jizou's blades, backstepping once more. His volley of arrows went wide of the mark, thudding uselessly into the wall before he could adjust the trajectory.

"Against a hollow, perhaps, that might work but really, did you expect that a shinigami _taichou _wouldn't be capable of using shunpou to keep up?" Mayuri's arm extended, flying towards him.

_What?_! _His arm -_

He slashed out at it, slicing it in half. There was a moment's respite before the detached limb started to bubble ominously.

Uryuu leapt back in time to avoid the explosion. Unfortunately, he was already falling down by the time his brain helpfully registered the fact he had run out of roof.

Before he could use hirenkyaku to control his fall, he landed on something soft. The assistant, Nemu, wrapped her arms around him tightly, pinning him in place just before they hit the ground.

_Wha- _

He twisted sideways just in time for Ashogi Jizou to run him through.

"Nemu... did I not _explicitly _tell you that the target is not supposed to be able to move?"

_Being burned alive was worse than this. I'm not going to show any weakness._

Mayuri let go of the blade, leaving Uryuu impaled against the wall. The taichou jabbed a needle into the remaining stump of his other arm, causing the flesh to bubble and regrow itself into a new appendage.

"My apologies, Mayuri-sa-"

The sentence was cut off abruptly with a crunch, as he slammed her against the wall.

"You dolt. What if the target escaped while you were too busy worrying about a _temporary inconvenience?_"

_The man's hurting his own subordinate... what kind of leader _does_ something like that? No wonder Rin wasn't afraid of me._

Uryuu attempted to shift himself, to at least pull the zanpakuto out of his stomach, only to find his arms were limp. His legs weren't working properly either.

_Maybe my spinal cord... but -_

Mayuri turned towards him.

"I take it you've noticed my zanpakuto's ability, then. It's a rather unique toxin it produces, actually - it blocks any signals _to _your muscles, but at the same time, responses such as pressure, temperature, or pain-"

The shinigami took hold of the hilt, before twisting it. Violently.

"-are completely unimpeded."

This time, he didn't manage to stay quiet; a faint whimper managed to escape from his lips as he tried to stifle a scream.

"Hmm... is that _all?_ I suppose you _do_ have a higher pain tolerance than most of the others did, though."

Uryuu kept his eyes squeezed shut.

_I have a chance with Ransoutengai... but if this keeps up- _He shuddered slightly._ I'll end up bleeding to death, unless I use that..._

* * *

Rin was frantic.

His attempt to keep the system down had only slowed the reboot process by an hour. The surveillance system was already fully operational again, completely purged of the virus that had wiped it out. However, many of the other computers were not yet running.

As a result, the surveillance room was crammed with members of both the Scientific Research Bureau and the Twelfth Division, all avidly watching the ongoing fight.

_There's no way I can do something unobserved..._

"Ouch... that _must've_ hurt." One of the official surveillance team members winced as Orion was stabbed by Mayuri Kurotsuchi. "The boss must be in a _really_ bad mood today." He searched the paper bag perched on the desk in the vague hope it would produce more popcorn, before turning around to one of the younger shinigami. "Hey, is that machine ready yet?"

"Just a few more minutes-" The sentence was interrupted by a series of loud popping noises, as the corn exploded out of the makeshift heating device.

"You idiot! I told you to put the lid on first! _Now_ what are we going to do? If Kurotsuchi-taichou comes back to see this mess, he's going to be furious!"

Rin crept towards the mainframe processor, an electrical disruptor in hand to attach to the device.

_Just a little closer... then I can -_

His head jerked up at the whimper.

_"-are completely unimpeded." _On the screen, Mayuri Kurotsuchi smirked. _"Hmmm... is that_ all _it takes? I suppose you _do_ have a higher pain tolerance than most of the others did, though." _He sighed. _"Although it's a shame you had to be male. The noises a boy's vocal chords make aren't lustful in the same way a woman's are... rather, unbearably irritating-"_

_"Shut up."_

_"You're not in a position to be making demands right now," _Mayuri snarled, wrenching the zanpakuto out.

Orion's eyes were still closed. _"Really? I see no reason to worry myself." _He coughed slightly. _"Not when all I see in front of me is a child, always in Kisuke Urahara's shadow-"_

_"Mayuri-taichou-"_

Several of the assembled shinigami cried out as Mayuri punched the stranger in the gut.

_"Don't interrupt! You dare compare me to that man?"_ The taichou drew back his fist for another blow, only for Orion to catch his fist, and stand up, bluish-white tendrils of reishi wrapping around his body.

_"What..." _For the first time in the fight, Mayuri was left speechless as he began to back off.

Orion's eyes were open now, electric-blue-on-black as the messy hole in his abdomen began to knit itself together and white bone began to creep around the socket of his right eye in a pale crescent.

Hollow.

_"You talk too much."_

There was instant chaos in the surveillance room as everyone started shouting; Hiyosu upturned a table, frantically trying to search for a working computer in order to analyse the data.

"What is this?"

"If Urahara-taichou survived, then... the hollowification process was perfected?"

_"Ransoutengai... there was some detail mentioned in the records, but not a single one of those specimens I obtained was capable of using the technique... and with that hollowification of yours-"_

_"If the next words out of your mouth are going to be some sick offer, don't even bother."_

Rin watched with a kind of horrified fascination as Mayuri levelled the sword. Orion closed in on him in a blink, only to be intercepted by Nemu. He sidestepped, flinging her against the wall before pinning her there with a multitude of threaded needles.

_"Bankai... Konjiki Ashogi Jizou."_

The golden baby's head twisted, expanding rapidly as it grew into the form of a monstrous caterpillar with a baby's head. Blades shot out from its neck as it breathed out a purplish gas cloud.

"Ah... it's all over now. There's no way he can survive the taichou's bankai."

_"Unfortunately, it seems I'll just have to use the cold remains of your corpse." _Mayuri scowled. _"You may be able to move with your Ransoutengai, but the poison this gives off isn't something that can be countered so easily... as your organs shut down under the influence of my-"__  
_

Orion yawned theatrically, covering his mouth with a hand.

_"Is anything meant to be happening yet? Because I really don't feel it."_

"Of course, he's a hollow, the high-speed regeneration... but he's going to run out of reiryoku at this rate."

For a brief second, Mayuri's eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and fear as the giant manifestation of his zanpakuto continued to barrel down the street, carried forwards by its momentum. Orion lifted one hand, palm facing outwards towards his enemy.

The camera was flooded with blue light.

_"Mayuri-sama!"_

"Dear kami... he just killed Kurotsuchi-taichou-"

Rin slipped out of the back door unnoticed.

* * *

Uryuu felt numb, as if the poison in his body was chilling his blood.

_Except that isn't the case... the hollowification purges the body of toxins. At least Sensei can rest easy..._

"Mayuri-sama!"

He blinked, and suddenly he was on the ground.

_How did I get here? But... I feel tired... it won't matter if I just... rest a little..._

* * *

Nemu stared at the man - _just a boy, really -_ now slumped on the ground.

_This is my new master._

_-must serve and protect the master cannot harm him killing father-_

She shrugged off the threads; they had lost their strength along with the boy's consciousness.

_He spared my life, but the hollowification has faded... he seems to be suffering from reiryoku exhaustion, and the toxins released by Ashogi Jizou are such that they will remain in the lungs for a long period, if they are untreated. If I leave him here like this, he will die._

Internally, she reached a decision. Bending over, she lifted the comatose Uryuu off the pavement, before slinging him over her shoulder. She glanced at the remains of her late father; the head had been completely obliterated, although the body remained relatively intact. Ashogi Jizou lay dead at his side, returned to its sealed form after the destruction of its bankai and death of its master.

"Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou... uhm, I was just-"

She stared. One of the marginally more important researchers had arrived, probably drawn by the recent fight. He seemed a little nervous, shifting slightly from foot to foot as he tried not to look at her directly.

_I suppose I could use his assistance in clearing up the evidence._

"Bring the body." Her tone of voice brooked no argument.

Wordlessly, Rin hoisted Mayuri's corpse up and onto his back as they both made their way back to the Twelfth Division headquarters.

_There will be trouble over this... but there has always been trouble. It will hardly be any different._

* * *

Koutetsu tsuru (鋼鉄 つる) Steel Vine. Tatsuki's metal uniform, being highly flexible, can easily have its shape manipulated by means of her reiryoku. By extending or contracting the fabric at will, it is possible to use it in the manner of a whip. It can additionally be used to pick up objects, although this takes some fine control.

Partial Hollowification: By tapping into the reserves of hollow reiatsu within his soul (and the silver ginto he carries), it is possible for Uryuu to enter a partially hollowified state, allowing him access to such standard techniques as high-speed regeneration, sonido and cero, as well as immunity to toxins and incomplete dominance over reishi. These last two appear to be an unique peculiarity of his hollow form, rather than an ability available to all hollows. Use of the hollow reiatsu in such a manner causes the Chain of Fate to corrode, although this can be healed, if treatment is given before the situation becomes dire. Blackening of the sclera occurs, but not the formation of the full mask that is seen when the Visoreds use their equivalent.


	38. Derailed Escape Attempt

**This time on TWiWaB:** Epic Fight #2 (Derailed Escape Attempt)

**A/N:** The rest of the world has not been forgotten!

Somehow this update took longer than I thought it would; it's one thing to put sword fighting in a manga, but describing it purely in words without getting dull is another. :U

* * *

"You know… when you said 'rest station', I was kinda expecting something a bit – " Kai hesitated, searching for an appropriate, non-offensive word. " – bigger."

To say the rest station was small would have been an understatement. There was about enough room for two people to move whilst only _occasionally _bashing into each other. Three people would make it a bit too close for comfort. With four people and one lion plushie, however, they would be getting to know each other intimately, whether they liked it or not.

Ichigo was currently wedged in between Ganju and Renji on the bottom bed, crunching some kind of hard candy from a dispenser whilst Hanatarou sorted through what seemed to be a supply cupboard. Kai, on the other hand, had fluffed up the pillow before using it as a makeshift seat as far away from Ichigo as possible.

"Why'd you even need stuff like this?" Ganju pulled a face. "I mean, don't you have _normal _bedrooms or something? Or is this just designed for midgets?"

Renji shrugged slightly, accidentally elbowing Ichigo as he did so.

"Sorry. There are normal houses and that sort of thing around here, it's just… sometimes it's late and there's loads of paperwork that you had to stay to sort out. It saves some of the hassle of going out again, since not everyone's based in Seireitei. Or sometimes you're trying to get a break without your taichou finding out – "

"There's some food supplies in here, if you're hungry."

Ichigo perked up mid-mouthful. "Do they have chocolate?"

"…what's chocolate?" Hanatarou looked bewildered.

"You… don't know about… chocolate…"

"It's a kind of candy you get in the Living World." Kai glanced over at Ichigo nervously, noticing the traumatised expression on his face. "It's not that great, seriously – "

"No chocolate…" Ichigo stared at Hanatarou, horrified. "What kind of civilisation _is_ this?"

Renji scowled. "Seriously, stop griping about your stupid candy – "

"Chocolate isn't stupid!" Ichigo flailed his arms in an attempt to demonstrate precisely how glorious chocolate was, only to knock Ganju down accidentally in the process.

"Hey!" he snapped, wedging himself back in position on the mattress. "Watch what you're doing with that!"

Ichigo hung his head, expression contrite.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, well…" Renji pulled a face. "Basically, what I meant to say was that there's a way out of Seireitei I can use."

Silence.

"…that's _all?_" Kai asked incredulously. "I mean, you have this massive secret buildup and all you can say is 'oh yeah I found a way to get out'? There aren't even any walls! You couldn't miss that even if your eyesight was as crappy as _Uryuu's!_"

"Shut up!" Renji snapped. "The walls only come down in times of emergency, and the gates'll all be locked by the guardians when that happens!" He took a breath. "There're secret exits that only the top seated shinigami can access, though… It's meant as a way of getting out of Seireitei if shinigami need to come out quickly as a dispatch squad or something like that. I've got the right keys for them as a fukutaichou, so if you can break Rukia out of the Penitence Shrine, I can smuggle her into Rukongai."

"Wait, you're not helping us get her out of prison?" Ganju's eyes narrowed. "That's just peachy… if this is some kind of shinigami trap you're trying to pull on us – "

"It's not a trap. It's just… there's some stuff I need to sort out that'll make it easier to leave." He glanced at Ichigo. "I'll meet you guys outside here when I'm finished. You should be able to hide out here with Rukia until then – nobody's gonna just barge in here while the occupied sign's on."

"There are so many ways this could go wrong," Kai mumbled under his breath.

Renji glowered at the mod soul. "You got a better idea?"

"…not really," he admitted. "It's just… oh, whatever. Let's go get Onee-chan before it's too late!"

* * *

_Huh… guess Ikkaku's prediction was right after all. They're goin' after the Kuchiki brat._

Kenpachi stared down at the three figures running down the street, picking out the bright orange hair of the tallest one. It _was _possible that maybe they'd changed their hairstyles as a disguise, but nonetheless…

His mouth split into a shark-like grin.

"Found ya."

* * *

_The tower's just down the end of this road… I guess after we get there, it's just a matter of waiting for that Renji dude and getting out into Rukongai… maybe it's just me, but this feels too simple – _

A terrifying reiatsu suddenly weighed down on him, causing him to stumble. Gasping for breath, he stopped as Hanatarou fell to his knees beside him.

_What the hell is _this?_!_

"Are you it?" whispered a menacing voice in his ear as a blade slid across his throat –

And then he could breathe again, the pressure released… _no, it's not released, _he realised. _Ichigo is countering it somehow… it feels like I'm being supported._

"Ganju… Hanatarou… you'd better get going. I'll keep him occupied."

There was a giant of a man standing in front of Ichigo. For a brief second, Ganju wondered whether one of the twins had come and changed his hairstyle to a series of bell-tipped spikes.

He was pretty sure _neither _of the Ganeheko Twins had that many scars, though. _Not to mention they wouldn't leer at me like that… and they'd rather die than shave off their mustaches. Oh, and they don't have this kind of presence, either. That too._

"That's… the taichou of the Eleventh Division, Zaraki Kenpachi…" Hanatarou whispered, trembling. "They say that no matter how many times you try, you cannot cut him down, and he can't be defeated – "

"Hiya! You have funny eyebrows, by the way!"

Ganju stared as a girl popped up from behind Zaraki's shoulder. Her hair was an eye-searing shade of bubblegum pink, which detracted somewhat from the aura of menace that her mount radiated.

She waved, beaming.

"'m Yachiru," the girl added helpfully. "It's okay, Ken-chan only likes playing with strong people, so you c'n get past while he's playing with Berry-tan!"

Zaraki's one visible eye narrowed as he surveyed Ganju and Hanatarou.

_Even with Ichigo keeping the worst of it off… this guy still scares me shitless…_

"Get moving," the shinigami growled, gesturing behind him with the point of his sword.

Ganju didn't need any further prompting. He grabbed Hanatarou by the collar of his uniform, sprinting off down the street.

_Hopefully Ichigo can hold off that guy for long enough... but he had such an ominous presence…_

* * *

Despite his unfazed appearance, Ichigo was slightly worried as he stared up at the giant taichou.

_I'm not sure if I can defeat him without revealing what I am… his presence feels like a Vasto Lorde, and if I'm forced to reveal myself now… there'll probably be a lot more trouble for Uryuu and everyone else._

"You're able to stand under my reiatsu, huh? That's pretty unusual… but that'll just make this even better." He smirked, eyeing Ichigo up as a potential opponent.

"Yachiru?"

Yachiru leapt off Zaraki's shoulder, scrambling up to perch on top of one of the nearby buildings.

_He's not going to let you past without a fight. That's pretty much what he lives for, fighting – he's infamous for it, actually. The other two, sure, because they were crippled by his reiatsu, but anyone who can resist it…_

Ichigo cursed mentally. _Damn. I was hoping to be able to get past without drawing too much attention._

"Take the first shot."

"…what?"

"Ya heard me." Zaraki ripped his shirt open, revealing a muscular torso crisscrossed with old scars. "Take the first shot. Hell, if you kill me in one blow then it's all over and that chick you're after is all yours." His gaze narrowed. "That's what ya came for, right?"

_Ikkaku must have mentioned something. I guess he must have been waiting here all this time… although we didn't ever say we were searching for Rukia._

_This _is_ the only way to the Penitence Shrine, _Kaien reminded him. _It's pretty obvious where you're going if you come up here, after all. I'm more surprised he even found us in the first place. His sense of direction is terrible when it comes to searching for things… it's probably the only reason half of Seireitei isn't wrecked by now._

"…can we solve this peacefully?" Kai tried from his position on Ichigo's back.

Zaraki's eyes narrowed.

"No."

_Damn. _Ichigo drew Nejibana from its sheath. _Take the first shot, right?_

The tip of the zanpakuto poked gently against Zaraki's chest.

_What the hell are you _doing?_! If you don't even take him seriously, he's going to kill you!_

"…what kind of pissy first blow is that meant to be? That was pathetic! Cut me properly!"

Ichigo held up his hands in what was meant to be a pacifying gesture. "Look, seriously, I'm not just going to run you through because you ask me to! I don't do assisted suicides and that sort of stuff, okay – "

"It's gonna be _your _suicide if you don't start fighting properly, brat," growled Zaraki as he hefted his sword.

"Ichigo? You'll let me off before he starts stabbing you, right? Right?"

"I might need your help. Sorry."

"Need my he-" Kai spluttered. "You mean you're actually going to do _that – _"

The battered blade swept towards Ichigo. He managed to raise Nejibana just in time to take the worst of the force out of the blow –

– only to be knocked off his feet and into the building behind him. Rubble crashed down on top of him, pinning him to the ground as the building collapsed.

_Oops. Guess the supports were pretty fragile…_

"Mmf," came a muffled voice from underneath him. "Iemefo?"

Ichigo shifted slightly in the darkness, causing the weight of the rubble to shift slightly with an ominous scraping sound. He could still feel Nejibana's hilt in his hand, trapped as he was.

_How much of this stuff do you think there is? It might have blocked the path… I guess it's lucky the gigai still has the same traits of hierro as my soul, or I'd be crushed by now._

_That building was quite large, so there's probably a lot of it. Ganju-otou might not be able to get past with Hanatarou and Kuchiki, not to mention the guards posted outside the Shrine._

"Impfhee?" Kai struggled to move, pinned under Ichigo's body.

"Give me one second…"

* * *

Zaraki Kenpachi grunted, turning away from the collapsed remnants of the building.

_Great… just another shitty fight… I got all excited over him, then he just got knocked down in one hit like the others…_

And then the rubble blasted outwards towards him, flung by a sudden increase in reiatsu.

_Huh, he isn't dead yet? _He smirked as the orange-haired boy stood up, the zanpakuto still in his grip._ He's hardier than I thought… This just got interesting._

"Sorry. I got taken by surprise a bit… it won't happen again."

With a harsh buzz, Ichigo vanished as Zaraki brought his sword back up. The blade made an agonising screech as it clashed with his opponent's zanpakuto, before being followed up by a series of fast strikes.

_Hell… this is the best I've felt in ages!_

He grinned maniacally, taking a punch on his left arm before grabbing the boy's fist. Zaraki took advantage, using the opening to retaliate and slashing at Ichigo's chest – or, to be more precise, where Ichigo had been a moment before.

"Stop stalling, dammit!" he roared, yanking the eyepatch off his face as he dashed to intercept Ichigo's escape attempt.

_There's no way I'm gonna let him go… not while I can still stand._

* * *

"…someone sure sounds noisy today… sounds like Kenpachi's met his match…"

Yasutora stared at the laconic, pink-coated man – _Shunsui Kyoraku, wasn't it? _– currently lying in front of the gateway. He suspected this was also the only path that would lead to the Penitence Shrine without having to go halfway around another block of buildings again.

_Kenpachi… that man Urahara-san warned us about… I hope Ichigo and Ganju will be alright._

The man produced a pair of saucers from under his pink coat, setting them down on the paving stones with a quiet clink.

"Well then… shall we have a drink?"

"…I'm underage."

"Ah, it's not as if there are any age restrictions in Seireitei. If you're old enough to be fighting, you're old enough to have a drink – " Shunsui rummaged around in his voluminous haori for a jug.

There was a smack from a window far above. He looked up; the flower-petal woman, Nanao, was bashing a large notebook against her head.

"Why must I have such a lazy taichou…"

_I suppose I can understand how she feels… but nonetheless, none of them are to be underestimated, and this one is relatively peaceful – for the moment, at least. If he's not fighting, I'm fine with that._

Yasutora hesitated for a fraction of a second, before sitting down. _It would be better to be delayed for a little bit than to have him fighting me. He might try a surprise attack, but somehow I doubt it… as long as I don't let my guard down, I should be alright._

"That's much better." Shunsui beamed at him. "Now then… do you know how to play shogi?"

* * *

Kai was in trouble.

First Ichigo had done something to piss off this crazy guy, who'd then turned out to be a taichou. A taichou who loved to fight, and had proceeded to have a mad strong power-up before laying into Ichigo. The only minor bright point was that the straps had been cut off in one of Zaraki's wild attacks, leaving Kai free to move around on his own.

_But if I leave now… and Ichigo needs to get out of his gigai thing in a hurry, and I'm not there… it'll be a disaster! Dammit! What do I do?_

He stiffened at the sound of a giggle behind him.

"Funny bear!"

A pair of small, sticky hands reached down, snatching him up off the pavement before turning him around to face his captor.

Kai blinked. There was a pink-haired girl beaming down at him. All in all, she didn't look especially threatening, but she _did _have an armband wrapped tightly over the sleeve of her uniform.

_Not to mention… that voice… she was the one who came with that massive dude Kenpachi… and she puts up with that terrifying presence all the time…_

He shuddered involuntarily as the girl's head cocked to one side, curious.

"Huh? Funny bear can move? That's so weird!"

Kai was strongly reminded of the one time he'd attempted to escape from the evil clutches of Uryuu and Ichigo. It'd been hard; he'd been chased down by a horde of girls, before ominously loud footsteps had indicated he was being followed by someone else. Kai had given his stalker the slip, but after that he'd been found by a little brown-haired girl who had taken him into a special place in her heart.

(She'd sewn a baby-gro suit onto him, before declaring him the offspring of a gorilla and what Kai could only describe as some kind of hollow. It took a good hour to get free, even with Uryuu's help.)

_Yeah… there's no way I'm staying near this kid._

Kai yanked his paws out of the girl's grip, before sprinting off in the only direction that would not result in running into something scary.

_Oh god, she's gaining on me… I'm a special mod soul designed for running! How the hell can she be this fast?_

"Hey! _Bad_ funny bear! Come back!"

* * *

Yoruichi padded her way across the rooftops. She was moving rather faster than was discreet, but if her guess was correct then there would be an awful lot of trouble coming if she wasn't there in time.

_If he's revealed for what he is, then anyone else who is caught will gain their own automatic death sentence. Not to mention Uryuu is with the Twelfth Division… but given he was with that shinigami who visited Karakura, he should be alright._

* * *

Ichigo gritted his teeth as he parried another blow. Kaien had partial control over his body at the moment; Ichigo didn't quite trust himself to react correctly in time, and despite his companion's best efforts, he was still unused to a zanpakuto in his hands. _Normally it'd be over by now… if I was in my normal form, I could just use my poison and that'd be it – although I'm not sure even that would work on him. He's pretty hardy, not to mention that reiatsu jump when he took off the eyepatch…_

Kenpachi's reiatsu was especially ominous now; where it had previously been enough to make weaker people incapable of moving, it was now manifesting itself physically as an off-yellow light in the man's eyes.

He sidestepped out of the way as Kenpachi lunged. The force of the blow drove the sword deep into the remaining un-cracked paving stones, granting a brief respite as Ichigo's opponent attempted to yank it out again.

_Kuchiki-taichou is at the Penitence Shrine?_! _We need to finish up fast… this could be bad._

Involuntarily, Ichigo's hands raised the blade.

"Rankle the seas and the heavens, Nejibana!"

Kenpachi's eyes narrowed as the blade elongated, taking on the shape of the crystal trident once more.

"What kind of piss-poor weapon is that? There's no way that piece of glass is gonna do any damage – "

"That's not the point."

Water condensed out of the air near the tip as Kaien levelled it at Kenpachi. The taichou smirked, raising his blade to deflect any potential blow that might occur –

_I'll need your help with this one, I think – _

_Take it._

Ichigo felt their combined reiatsu rise as his companion drew on both their reserves. Had it been merely Kaien, the destructive force of the attack would have been modest, but with the added power of a Vasto Lorde…

"Tsunami."

The force of the water hit Zaraki Kenpachi full-on. To his credit, he managed to fight against it and stay in place for several seconds before being swept away, along with the remains of the now thoroughly smashed buildings.

_Whoops… don't you think we got a bit carried away?_

Ichigo felt Kaien wince. _Look, it was the best option I could think of at the time, alright? He'll probably survive, although he might be buried for a little while. He's one of the most resilient people in the Gotei 13, after all._

He lowered the trident, surveying the damage to the landscape. There was a brand new passage leading up to the Penitence Shrine, whereas the street that he had just taken was now almost completely blocked up by rubble.

_…huh, Kai seems to have gotten lost. Oh well, I'm sure he'll find his way back…_

* * *

_"Oh god I'm sorry I left you Ichigo! I'll never be bad again if you just save me from this demon – "_

* * *

Jyuushiro Ukitake was also on his way to visit the Penitence Shrine. Unfortunately, his illness had decided to be particularly uncooperative on that day, resulting in a necessary stop in order to recover. As a result, he was currently suffering the tender ministrations of the Fourth Division's eighth seat.

_Maybe if it wasn't for this… That day might have been different…_

He stiffened suddenly, attention caught by the presence of a very familiar reiatsu.

"S-sir!" Harunobu hurried towards him. "You shouldn't get up so soon, not when you're still recovering – "

_This sensation feels nostalgic, but there's no way that he can be here… the reiatsu is unmistakeably Kaien, though._ Jyuushiro relaxed slightly, lying back down again._ Perhaps I'm not the only one who doesn't wish to see his subordinate executed…_

* * *

"It's kinda scary that you guys all have drugs that knock people out so easily," Ganju commented, staring at the unconscious guards. _Although we're lucky he has that thing. I don't know if I'd be able to tackle this many shinigami at once._

"Really?" Hanatarou seemed to perk up slightly at the comment. "It's mostly standard issue gear, they give it out just in case patients are being a bit too rowdy when they're being treated… it doesn't work on stronger shinigami, though." He pulled an oddly-shaped piece of wood out of his satchel, approaching the door. "If you stand back, I should be able to open the doors with the key…"

The key slid into a slot by the side of the doors, accompanied by a satisfied-sounding beep. Soundlessly, the massive doors swung outwards, revealing a young, white-clad woman sitting on a chair.

"Kuchiki-sama!"

She turned to look at them, startled.

Ganju's heart nearly stopped as violet eyes met his.

_That face… I'd recognise it anywhere… the shinigami who killed my brother…_

* * *

"…it's certainly a very tight position… I'm not sure if I'll be able to manoeuvre my way out of this fight unscathed…"

"…are you going to move your piece yet?"

* * *

"Kuchiki-sama!"

Rukia turned around, surprised. _What? I didn't think that it was Hanatarou on duty today, but…_

"…you…"

_That crest on his leggings… he's one of the Shiba family?_

The man was shaking; evidently he knew what had happened.

"You killed my brother… I can't forgive such a thing." He drew a cleaver from the belt at his waist.

"Ah… Ganju-san! We can't just kill her! She's a good person really, maybe it's just a mixup like her evil identical twin or something like that – " Hanatarou struggled to force the blade back into its position.

Rukia bowed her head. "It's true… he isn't lying. I was the one responsible for the death of Kaien-dono."

"SEE?" Ganju roared, pushing Hanatarou away. "She even _admits _it! What kind of innocent person pulls that bullshit? She isn't even – "

"If we let her die…" Hanatarou averted his gaze. "Ichigo-san will probably be very sad, and he even risked his life to hold off Kenpachi-taichou for us…"

Ganju shut up instantly at this.

_Ichigo is here? Come to think of it… I can sense his reiatsu now. The walls must have been blocking it off, since they're made of sekki-sekki, not to mention he conceals his presence most of the time as it is._

She suddenly stiffened as another familiar presence approached.

_Onii-sama is here…_

* * *

**10-Second Omake!**

_"Hey Uryuu… about your uniform, how is it an uniform if you keep wearing something different all the time?"_

_"Isn't that obvious? It's because there's only one person wearing it, so it's a uniform!"_

_"…I'm pretty sure that's not it…"_


	39. Joyous Reunion

**This time on TWiBaW:** Everything starts getting FUBAR.

* * *

**A/N:** raaaaage

My laptop got commandeered by my mother for over a week whilst attempting to get rid of trojans from the main family computer. She then freaked out because of the fact that it was messing up half the data on the computer, and it took longer to reformat than it should have due to the fact she didn't want to put her data onto a disc drive until my brother came round and did it for her.  
To whatever douchebag created the S.M.A.R.T. trojan/put the script up on the forum, you are an arsehole.

This chapter is currently unbeta'd but will be updated with the beta'd version as soon as possible. o 3o

In addition, we now have an actual story cover.

* * *

"Abarai-kun…"

Renji flinched, before forcing himself to turn around calmly. _I__'m not doing anything wrong. Not at all… and definitely not nicking __the__ emergency keys from taichou's desk whilst he'__s__ away. Nope._

He smiled in what he hoped was a totally normal and calm fashion.

"Hinamori? You okay?" He took a closer look at her; there were dark circles under her eyes. _I__ guess she hasn't been sleeping well… not that any of us have recently, what with everything that's been going on._

"I… well…" She took a breath, steeling herself for what she was about to say. "It's just I've been worried about Aizen-taichou recently. What with the ryoka… they say that the entire Eleventh Division got wiped out, not to mention people saw Kurotsuchi-taichou's bankai… what if someone gets killed? How can they even evade us for this long?"

Renji hesitated. "I don't know… but it's not as if they can keep hiding forever. Besides, it's not as if anyone could actually _beat_ one of the taichous! It'd take some kind of monster – "

(Later, in retrospect, he would have to admit that saying such a thing was pretty much encouraging a disaster to happen.)

The building shuddered as an ominous rumbling sounded outside. Hinamori turned towards the window.

"What's going on – "

The windows smashed open, battered by a deluge of debris and water. Renji kept a tight grip on the precious metal in his hand in the midst of the swirling chaos, not even letting go when something heavy slammed into him and forced the breath out of his body –

And then, almost as swiftly as it had come, it was over, the water draining away again and leaving him with a massive weight on his back.

"Abarai-kun? Are you alright? I'm sorry I couldn't get you in time!"

He groaned, pinned in place.

_It__ feels like there's a massive stone slab on my back…_

"Ah… Kenpachi-taichou… He's just unconscious, I think."

Renji managed to heave himself up off the floor, causing Zaraki Kenpachi to slide onto the detritus.

He stared. Hinamori had apparently managed to avoid the worst of the destruction, reacting in time to put a kido spell over herself. The rest of Byakuya's and Renji's joint office was now an absolute tip, with soggy forms, broken glass and masonry littering the wet floor.

"Kuchiki-taichou's gonna be so pissed with me…"

"It's okay, I can help you tidy up!" Hinamori scrambled to help peel the wet pieces of paper off the floorboards. "Hopefully if we can get them hung up, we should be able to save some of them – "

He winced. "Thanks… but I think we'd better help Kenpachi-taichou over to the Fourth Division first."

"Abarai-fukutaichou?" Rikichi poked his head around what remained of the door. "There was a massive – "

"Yeah, we noticed."

_Dammit__… it's a diversion, but if I vanish in the midst of all this, people are gonna notice, especially if they're looking to me for orders without Kuchiki-taichou around. Who knew that deserting would be this complicated?_

"Kenpachi-taichou is unconscious?" The boy's eyes widened.

Renji shrugged as he discreetly slipped the key into his pocket. "He just came through the window. No idea what happened to him… but if you take the feet and Hinamori lifts him up by the other armpit, we should be fine."

Rikichi hesitated. "But… the Fourth Division…"

He glanced outside. The street was strewn with rubble, not to mention some of the nearby buildings had taken a beating as well.

Hinamori frowned. "I'm not sure whether the streets are clear enough for us to get there… but we should try, at least." A brief glow surrounded her fingers as they hovered over Kenpachi's forehead. "He's not in critical condition, but it's best if we get him medical attention as soon as possible."

"Might as well save the relief groups some time, I guess – it's not as if Fourth is _that _far away, after all." He shuddered. "I don't envy whoever's gonna be looking after Kenpachi-taichou, though."

He slid his arms under Kenpachi as Hinamori took her place on the opposite side.

"One, two, three – "

Renji grunted slightly under the weight. Slowly, the three of them manoeuvred the unconscious man through the door, where the rest of the Sixth Division was in a similar state of chaos. Shinigami were rushing around, trying not to slip on the wet floor as they attempted to rescue paperwork and sweep out the debris.

"Abarai-fukutaichou! What happened – " Mihane stopped herself at the sight of the Eleventh Division's taichou.

"We're just taking him to the medics. Be back in a bit to help you out… could you open the door?"

"Of course!" She hurried over to the battered door, leaning against it with her full weight. It screeched, complaining loudly, before finally giving in to the force and crashing open. "Ah… sorry about that, Abarai-fukutaichou – "

"It's fine." _Besides, it's not as if it makes much difference… there's so much clearing up to do anyway._

The journey to the Fourth Division was mostly silent; Renji's attention was focused primarily on not tripping up on the rubble, while his treacherous imagination insisted on coming up with images of who, exactly, managed to destroy this much of Seireitei.

_Come to think of it… didn't Kuchiki-taichou say he was going to sort out some family matters? _he thought, with dawning horror. _If he runs into Ichigo and that Ganju dude – _

Hinamori screamed, releasing her hold and letting Kenpachi's skull hit the floor with a loud thunk. Renji cursed, attempting to re-adjust his load as he looked around for the cause of her distress.

_What the hell is she doing – _

"_Aizen-taichou!_" she cried out in anguish, sprinting ahead.

He looked up. There, pinned against what was otherwise a highly un-extraordinary wall, was something just barely recognisable as a shinigami, impaled there by several large spikes. The white haori was hanging limply from one hand, with the kanji for 'five' visible as it fluttered in the breeze.

_…oh crap._

* * *

"If this is a trap…"

Tatsuki glowered at the cowering Makizou.

"I'm telling the truth, I swear! All of the other division members are in the casualty, it'll be safe."

Her eyes narrowed. _I__'ve got no reason to trust him… for all I know, this could just be some bullshit trap he came up with at the last minute. But then… we can't just hide on the streets and hope that someone else will save Rukia__.__ We have to do something more._

"Fine. We'll follow you."

Makizou took the lead, Tatsuki and Orihime both following him in silence.

_I__ guess she's still worried about Ishida… but I don't feel that he's dead yet._

"…how far is it to the Eleventh Division?" Orihime asked, attempting to start a conversation.

"Eeeeh… not too far, maybe another ten minutes from here. It wouldn't be so bad if we hadn't gone such a long way last night, but…" Makizou cast a nervous glance at Tatsuki. "I guess this way is fine as well."

They traipsed down the street in silence.

_Come__ to think of it… isn't it strange that nobody else is here?_

"Makizou-san…" Orihime frowned. "Where is everyone?"

"Probably in the infirmary." He shrugged. "Either that or they're staying inside because they're all scared of fighting… one of the other Eleventh Division people mentioned there was this insane guy who beat the shi-"

He stopped himself at the expression on Tatsuki's face. "Beat the _stuffing_ out of them," he continued, carefully. "So it's not that strange, really…"

_An__ insane person who knocked everyone out? _she wondered. _That__'s probably either Yasutora or Ichigo…_

"Anyway, we're here now." He stopped just outside a large archway, gesturing towards it without a glance.

Unfortunately, it was already occupied.

"Haaaah… who's this, then?"

A bald man leapt down from his perch on top of the archway, landing between them and the entrance.

"A-ah… Madarame-san," Makizou stammered. "I wasn't expecting to see you here, I – I thought you were still in the infirmary!"

_This__ could be bad… I don't know what this Madarame is capable of, but given that Makizou is afraid of him, it's a safe bet to say that he's much stronger. As well as that… _Tatsuki glanced up at the other figure, who hadn't moved from his original position. _If__ that other person intervenes, it'll be problematic – _

"Such a radiant display of beauty… no, I couldn't possibly compare…"

_…is he weeping? And are those feathers on his face? Why does everyone in this place seem to be really weird…_

"You." Madarame had a fearsome scowl on his face. "You're the ryoka we're meant to be fighting, right?"

"…yes?" volunteered Orihime tentatively.

"And you're also friends with that Ichigo guy who's after Rukia Kuchiki?"

"I didn't have a choice!" howled Makizou, falling to his knees in despair. "They beat me in a fight! Now she even outranks me as well, she took my seat and you've got to help me – "

"Ikkaku Madarame… come on in." The bald man broke into a huge grin.

Tatsuki stared.

"What?"

Ikkaku shrugged. "Hell, you're a member of the Eleventh. It's not as if I'm gonna turn you in or shit like that. 'Sides… isn't there a phrase that goes 'The friend of my enemy is my friend' or something?"

"You're going to let them in?" Makizou asked, with a dawning expression of horror.

The feathered man bowed his head. "I couldn't turn away such an image of perfection…"

Ikkaku smirked. "Course."

_That__ asshole… was he planning to sell us out all this time? Or is this just another trap?_

"Please… enlighten me with your name – " and Feathers was suddenly kneeling in front of Orihime – "o goddess."

"Uhm… I'm Orihime Inoue. Pleased to meet you, Mr…?"

"Yumichika Ayesegawa, princess." He bowed his head to brush his lips against Orihime's hand –

_Okay,__ this has gone far enough. _One hand clamped over his mouth, forcing him back.

"Tatsuki-chan?"

"He was going to molest your hand," she said, glowering at Yumichika as she let go. _Well,__ maybe that's exaggerating a bit… but I'm not letting that bastard touch her._

Yumichika gave her an aghast look. "As if I would ever defile the purity of such perfection… even an eunuch could admire such beauty! I was merely expressing my – "

"Get inside already, willya?" interrupted Ikkaku, glancing down the street. "I'm all for a good fight, but Houzokimaru ain't recovered, and if one of the other taichous comes by…"

"Fine," Tatsuki said shortly. _I__ still don't trust him… but he does have a point._

* * *

After decades of vowing to kill his brother's murderer, Ganju was torn.

_On__ the one hand… she was the one who killed my brother. I saw her carry the body – no hollow could inflict those kind of injuries, he was run through by a sword… but then, that cat Yoruichi said Ichigo had the soul of Kaien-nii. How the hell could a hollow have my brother's soul if he was killed by a shinigami's zanpakuto?_

_And then on the other hand, there's Ichigo._

Ganju wasn't sure why exactly a hollow would want to save a shinigami, but given that said hollow had effortlessly bulldozed its way through a division-load of shinigami, he wasn't going to ask. And besides… Hanatarou was looking at him with a kicked-puppy expression.

"Fine," he said shortly, feeling slightly gratified at the way Hanatarou's expression suddenly brightened up. "We break her out of here and hand her over, but after that I'm not getting involved, okay?"

The shinigami – _Rukia, _he amended – looked surprised for a brief moment, before her expression became panicky. "You need to leave. Now."

_What?_

Hanatarou seemed as bemused by this as he felt. "But… Kuchiki-san, lots of people will be sad if you die – "

"I made my peace with my fate!" she nearly shouted, before forcibly calming herself down. "And I don't want any more people to have to sacrifice themselves. Not for my sake."

"Like hell," Ganju growled. "I get dragged all the way here by some crazy-ass kids, and now the person they're looking for says she doesn't even want to _live?_" He drew his blade. "Hold your hands out."

"What are you – "

"Hold your hands out so I can cut the damn cuffs already!"

The medic shinigami looked nervous. "Er, Ganju-san?"

He turned around. "What now – "

The sharp clicks of the wooden geta echoed in the tower as the shinigami approached. It wasn't the monster of a man that they'd run into earlier, but given the white haori _this_man sported, this wasn't much consolation.

_Given__ that scarf and the metal kenseikan in his hair… this must be the __head__ of the Kuchiki! He must be one of Rukia's relatives… Byakuya Kuchiki, thank god, I thought it would be someone dangerous for a minute – _

"Judging from the reiatsu coming from here, I was under the impression someone powerful had come." Byakuya's eyes narrowed. "Evidently I was mistaken."

_...wait, what?_

"My zanpakuto is not intended for crushing insects." A heartbeat later, Byakuya was behind him as his right arm screamed in agony.

_He didn't even… draw his sword? _

"Nii-sama!"

"Haaah…" Ganju straightened up, gritting his teeth. He pulled off his bandana, wrapping it around the arm as a makeshift bandage.

_And that was just his bare hand… but nonetheless…_

"The sort of coward who'll just lie down quietly… doesn't exist in the Shiba family." He drew his cleaver from his side. "Even if you cut me a thousand times, I will still fight!"

Byakuya turned around to face him, an expression of mild interest on his face.

"Oh? You're a member of the Shiba clan… it seems I misjudged you, but nonetheless, the outcome of this battle will still be the same."

His hand reached down to the hilt of his zanpakuto. Ganju shifted slightly, fingers searching for something that could help him before finding a small spherical object.

_Great… I guess it's better than nothing, though._

He gently rubbed the fuse against the spark linings on the inside of his cuffs, lighting it.

"Don't worry, Kuchiki-sama… I'm sure Ganju-san has a plan – "

"Shiba Special Mk. III!" He lobbed the pepper-bomb with full force at Byakuya Kuchiki.

The man's hand shifted slightly, and then the two separate hemispheres fell down uselessly onto the floor.

"Shiba-san, _run!_" screamed Rukia.

_He cut them that fast?_

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

Ganju barely glimpsed the brief flickers of light around him before he collapsed.

* * *

Rukia's heart dropped as Senbonzakura cut into Ganju, leaving bloody gashes. He fell heavily to the ground.

_No, he can't be… another person died for my sake…_

"Ganju-san is strong… he should be alright, although if I don't help him soon – "

The thousand fragments reformed back upon the hilt as Byakuya Kuchiki lifted his arm once more.

"Nii-sama… don't…" she pleaded, as he moved to kill the prone man at his feet.

"I think that's enough."

Jyuushiro Ukitake's hand clamped firmly around Byakuya's right arm, stopping him from completing the movement. The younger man turned around, startled.

_Ukitake-taichou… came for me?_

"Kuchiki! How're you doing… you've lost some weight. Are you alright?" He glanced at the recumbent Ganju. "Kuchiki-taichou… what were you thinking? Releasing your shikai outside the Penitence Shrine…"

Byakuya shifted his arm out of Jyuushiro's grip. "Since we are now in a wartime situation, the ordinary restrictions have been lifted. I was merely engaging one of the ryoka."

The elder taichou raised an eyebrow slightly. "They actually took off the limitations? Things must be worse than I thought... I must've missed that message – "

"Damn… I'm late."

For a brief second, Rukia thought that Kaien Shiba was alive again, framed by the sunlight and standing in his place behind Ukitake-taichou.

_That's Ichigo in his gigai… but Nejibana? How did he manage to use that zanpakuto? I knew he had it, but actually releasing its powers – _

Both taichous turned around, startled.

"Kaien?" asked Ukitake in disbelief.

Ichigo raised a hand by way of greeting. "Yo. Sorry about all the paperwork, by the way," he added as an afterthought, wincing slightly. "That wasn't deliberate."

"I… but… how…" The rest of the sentence became lost in a coughing fit as Jyuushiro was forced to lean on Ichigo for support.

_No, those are definitely Kaien-dono's mannerisms… only he would act in such a fashion._

* * *

Despite the smiling exterior, Kaien was panicking slightly.

_Byakuya Kuchiki… why did it have to be the day he picked a visit?_

He caught his ex-taichou just before he collapsed completely, coughing.

_This sucks… she's right in front of us, but… there's no way we can win this fight. Not whilst protecting everyone. If we fight with him, we might win, Rukia and Hanatarou might get crushed, and Ganju would definitely die… not to mention Ukitake-taichou would get worse. Sometimes his attacks get pretty severe._

Ichigo hesitated._ If I used my full power, they'll know what I am. They'd probably issue a kill-on-sight order on all the ryoka, not just me. As much as I hate to say this… we're going to have to concede defeat._

_We can't outmatch his speed. Not carrying two people. Which means that the only option is to trust in Ukitake-taichou… although given it's me, he will probably honour that trust._

"Ukitake-taichou… please look kindly on my foolish otouto for me." He let go of the man, preparing himself to leave.

"Kaien-dono… is that you?"

He turned towards Rukia, who was standing just outside the Penitence Shrine, expression unreadable.

"Yeah… sorry if I look a bit different, there was something of an – " Kaien hesitated, before deciding on " – accident. I'll be back to get you later, so don't give up just yet." He winked at her. "Okay, Kuchiki?"

Byakuya's expression became stony. "If you believe you can escape me… you must truly be deluded."

He turned, smirking in response. "Really? I seem to remember being requested as a fukutaichou whilst Shihoin-san was still stealing your hair-tie. _I'm_ not the inexperienced one here."

_…hair tie? _Ichigo asked, bewildered.

_Oh yeah… Shihoin-san used to have this thing about nicking it. He used to have it tied back in a pony-tail all the time - people kept mistaking him for a girl, actually. It was pretty funny, she'd keep teasing him about it._

The thousand blades of Senbonzakura separated once more as they flew towards him with a gesture of Byakuya's hand. Kaien used a quick burst of shunpou to leap out of the way, before condensing water around the blades, temporarily trapping them.

He relished the stunned expression on the other man's face for a brief moment, before waving jauntily.

"See ya."

And with that, he broke into full-out shunpou, pausing only briefly to ensure Byakuya hadn't followed.

_Ah… Yoruichi's following us._

Sure enough, when Kaien came to a halt on top of a storage warehouse, a small black cat leapt down onto the roof shortly after.

She cuffed his head with a paw. Fortunately, due to the relative size of Yoruichi's current form, the blow wasn't particularly painful.

"Idiot! What were you thinking?"

Kaien winced. "It wasn't as if there was much choice but to make a break for it," he said defensively.

Yoruichi began to pace. "I thought you had some _sense_." She sighed, settling down. "May I ask what possessed you to use _that,_ in particular?"

He glanced guiltily at Nejibana, still released in her trident form.

"I thought it was more subtle than having a Vasto Lorde register in the Seireitei security systems?" Kaien tried.

The cat glowered at him, before relenting. "Fine. I still don't condone rushing in recklessly, but given the circumstances… we may not have much time left."

"What happened?" _If someone else did something stupid…_

Yoruichi hesitated for a second.

"…Sosuke Aizen has been declared dead."


	40. Crowning Moment of Nope

**This time on TWiBaW: **CMoA averted. (Don't worry, Keigo gets one later... quite a bit later.)

* * *

**A/N:** …I have now fallen in love all over again. If you haven't heard of Hatoful Boyfriend, it's probably because it's a $5 Japanese dating game. With pigeons.  
And Shuu has Aizen beat hands down in the sheer creepiness factor. Forget the fact he's a partridge well under a tenth of the size of most humans, he is epic and the game storyline was epic enough to leave me in hysterics and my mother wondering why I was laughing so much when I was meant to be writing a ttly srs competition entry about crappy vampire romance.  
Despite the description, it's not a standard dating game and I wouldn't exactly recommend it to under 15s unless they like nightmares a lot or happen to be sadomasochists. There is a free version in English without all of the characters and endings, if you want to try it out. Just… don't get too upset if you find yourself dying in pursuit of Shuu's love. Several times.

The update is regrettably shorter this week, but there will be an update next week in exchange.

Also, for those of you who were expecting sexy Uryuu/Nemu action: nope, not happening. (That's next week.)

* * *

Renji was sweating heavily.

Another emergency meeting had been called; this time, the numbers attending were vastly reduced. Hinamori had been hysterical upon seeing the desecrated body of her taichou. Fortunately, Matsumoto and Kira had been on hand to help, but even so, it had taken his, Rikichi's and Matsumoto's combined efforts to get her to the Fourth Division before she had a complete breakdown. On top of that, they hadn't been able to stop her from screaming imprecations about Gin Ichimaru.

Unfortunately, Kira had protested about this. Vehemently.

_Releasing shikai on each other while the Seireitei's in this state… I'd ask what they were thinking, but given the way Hinamori was so devoted to her taichou, it's not much of a surprise. Still, accusing Ichimaru-taichou of being involved in his death…_

He glanced around. Hisagi and Iba were both there, as were Chojirou and Nanao. The latter seemed preoccupied with something, glowering at her notebook occasionally as they waited for the others to turn up.

_That makes five… I guess Isane's probably still busy at Fourth and Yachiru's probably with Zaraki-taichou, but even then… what happened to Nemu and Oomaeda?_

* * *

"I hope you recognise… this is an emergency."

Keigo nodded, trying not to seem too frantic whilst doing so. A fat, opulently-clad shinigami had stopped both him and Mizuiro in one of the side alleys, spotting them despite their attempts at stealth.

_Isn't he that one dude with the stupidly long name? The guy with the food obsession who works for the Stealth Forces or something like that? _He sweated underneath the black mask, glancing sideways at Mizuiro.

_If he asks us to come in for questioning because he spotted something wrong… we're gonna be so screwed._

The man assumed a terribly serious expression. "Therefore, as your superior, I order you to find me more spicy squid flavour rice cakes! I have an extremely important meeting, and it might last a while so I'll need snacks."

Keigo stared.

"Wh-" he began, only to have Mizuiro's hand clamped over his mouth.

His friend forced him into a bow. "Of course, Marechiyo-sama. We will do so without delay."

The man looked flustered for a brief moment, before accepting this as a response and producing a gaudy, gold-chained wallet from the folds of his shikuhaso. "That's… 100, 200, 300, 400, 500…" He muttered to himself as he counted out the large paper notes. "There, that should be enough for two premium bags."

Oomaeda pressed the wadge of money into Keigo's unresisting hands.

"Keep the change if you like, just get it to me in five minu-"

"Oomaeda._ What_, precisely, are you doing?"

The fukutaichou turned around, a guilty expression on his face as he attempted to stuff the cash away. "Ah… nothing, I was just giving instructions to some of the Onmitskidou members, you see, for vital supply purchases – "

He wilted as the petite woman glowered at him.

_Oh crap… isn't that the ninja boss person? Of all the people, why'd we have to run into _her?

"I gave the Onmitskidou _specific_ instructions to not accept such pithy tasks. They are not your personal snack-delivery service… I believe we have had words about this before." Despite the fact that her fukutaichou towered head and shoulders over her, she nonetheless managed to loom ominously.

Mizuiro's hand wrapped around Keigo's wrist, tugging slightly backwards. He attempted to shuffle discreetly away from the pair.

_It's not as if I need any more incentive to get away… I'm pretty sure this Soi Fon lady's got us sussed out – _

"I don't recall saying _you _could leave, either. Don't think I'm not aware you're imposters."

Soi Fon reappeared behind them in a flash, blocking off their attempted exit as she drew her zanpakuto from its sheath.

Keigo swore, before his Meisai activated and he shimmered out of sight along with Mizuiro.

_Hopefully if I can get out of here without her hearing me…_

"And if you think merely hiding from my sight will help, you're even more delusional than I thought." She raised her hand towards them. "Bakudo #61: Rikujoukourou."

Keigo was forced to drop his friend as he leapt sideways. Six beams of bright light slammed into the wall a split-second later, barely missing him.

_I'm having the crap beaten out of me by a girl… I'll never live this down if I survive. I need to do something, but what? I don't have Uryuu's weird magic bow or any fairies – _

And then Soi Fon was in his face, arm drawn back to strike. Keigo kicked out instinctively, only for his jaw to drop as the impact sent his opponent flying.

_Oh… right, the trainers._

Unfortunately, the respite didn't last long. Soi Fon took barely a second to recover, landing on her feet before rushing back in for the attack once more. He barely managed to raise his arms before her fist drove into his ribs, knocking the wind out of him.

"For stepping on the pride of the Onmitskidou – " Her attention suddenly snapped to Mizuiro, who had raised up his mobile to point the camera at Soi Fon.

"_Target acquired…_"

She darted towards him, just before a brief flash of white light illuminated the area. "_Function activated: synchronization._"

"Bakudo #46: Tanma Otoshi!"

The pair of them crumpled to the ground with minimal fuss.

"…Miz? Miz?" He shook his friend frantically. "Shit, don't be dead, you're not allowed to be dead because of whatever she di-"

* * *

Oomaeda let out a sigh of relief, lowering his hand as the boy slumped in his grip.

_It's a good thing I was hanging back… it would've been terrible if they kidnapped Soi Fon! I guess that'll be good for my reputation – saving my taichou from uncertain death, after all… _He inspected the brunette he'd just knocked out. _He doesn't look like he'd be able to kill Aizen-taichou, though. Still, he might have useful information for us when he wakes up along with that other guy!_

There was a whisper of wind, indicating the arrival of the Onmitskidou.

"Sir?"

He turned around. "Get 'em to the secure wing of Fourth Division. We can interrogate the ryoka later."

The two black-clad shinigami nodded briefly in acknowledgement, before picking up the bodies and vanishing once more.

_…I didn't even get my rice cakes in the end, though…_

* * *

**New GLaDOS function activated!**

Synchronisation (10): By creating a psychic link with a single target, any physical or mental damage, as well as certain energy-based stimuli, may be returned upon the target. This link works both ways; if the _target_ is killed by another person whilst the synchronisation is active, the user will also die. It is possible to create a mass synchronisation with numerous targets, thus incapacitating a large number at once, but this is not recommended due to the large quantity of energy necessary to achieve such a feat.


	41. ReawakeningPreparations

**This time on TWiBaW:** Another relatively mild interlude.

* * *

**A/N:** Tying up some various loose ends. I had to do something about various plot bunnies, since I doubt that Uryuu would be as forgiving as in canon. As for other matters... I tried to make everything sensible, although I may not have entirely succeeded in places. Please let me know if you notice anything.

Gift horses are never to be looked in the mouth. Especially if they come from the daughters of evil scientists.

Reviewers may still choose either a pot of petunias, or a jar of whale paste.

* * *

**Additional note (2/9/12): **This chapter now a merged and rejigged form of chapters 41 and 42. Both were stupidly short and could have been worked together, and had various minor issues which have now been ironed out (aka myself screwing up with character descriptions and herping my derp). Please do re-read.

Also, the next chapter should be up fairly shortly, and by 'shortly' I mean 'in a week or so'. It will be big.

* * *

**A note from Love Psycho**: Nejibana's appearance was made by me, but a mix up in communication delayed me placing it into the chapter. My fault. Anyways, she's drawn from FFX's Shiva as a base, then the Dragon Queens idea was added in to complete it. If you're curious about the Dragon Queens, in short they were what the Dragon Kings of the Sea were pre-Confucianism. Confucianism is male oriented after all. They were where the term "Dragon Lady" comes from and it was much more flattering back then before the Western influences infected it. I thought it would fit Nejibana thus...

* * *

Uryuu groaned.

_Ugh… this headache… what was I even doing last night?_

He unpeeled his eyelids to find a face three inches away from his own.

"Good morning, Ishida-sama."

_OH HOLY MOTHER OF –_

Wide awake and screaming, he attempted to kick out at the person before falling off the bed onto the floor.

"…my apologies, Ishida-sama. I was merely checking to see whether you were still recovering or not."

He sat up, scowling as he rubbed the growing bruise on the back of his skull.

"Where am I?" Uryuu asked suspiciously as he glanced around the room. _If this is some sort of elaborate torture chamber… why would she leave me unbound? Not to mention the bed is too comfortable to be used for that sort of purpose…_

"You are in one of the recuperative rooms of the Twelfth Division. Although we are _not_, strictly speaking, the medical division, some of us have found it… prudent… to not bother the Fourth with certain matters."

_I can just bet what kind of 'matters' those would be, _he thought darkly, thinking back to the atrocity described on the photographic film. _Although… it still beggars the question of why I'm able to move freely, unless she wanted to see me awake before the torture starts or something like that._

He blinked as she passed over a large white bundle of cloth.

"What is this?"

"I did not remove your clothing whilst you were asleep, since I thought you would probably react badly to such a thing whilst unconscious. Your haori has been washed, and there is a fresh shinigami uniform that will prove a more effective disguise than your current attire."

Uryuu looked down at himself. The bloodstains on the outfit had dried to a rusty brown, to say nothing of the gaping hole over the abdomen and the greenish fluid that stained the cloth in places. In short, the uniform was ruined beyond even _his _skill to repair.

…_at least the decorative buttons are still there, _he thought glumly, before turning back to the situation at hand. _She brought clean clothing? And… this…_

He unwrapped the package. The standard black shikuhasou he had grown to associate with the shinigami fell out, but the white cloth on the outside –

Uryuu dropped the coat as if burned.

"Why did you bring this to me?" he demanded, furious. _As if I would wear a dead man's clothes!_

"You are the taichou of the Twelfth Division, along with all the responsibilities that such a position entails."

"I – but – how – " he spluttered incomprehensibly.

"The third and final method through which the leadership of a shinigami division may be passed over," Nemu continued, unpeturbed, "is through an undisputed victory over the previous taichou in single combat."

Uryuu stared at the slight woman standing in front of him as if she had grown an extra head.

"So," he began slowly, "it's possible for _anyone _to become a taichou, by beating up the previous taichou?"

"That would be correct. However, the rule has not been invoked in a little over a century now; the last person to achieve such a feat is the current leader of the Eleventh Division, Zaraki Kenpachi, who slew his predecessor with an unnamed zanpakuto."

_I am the taichou of the Twelfth Division?_

He stared at Nemu, who returned his gaze impassively. There was no reason for her to lie about such a thing… _not to mention, she could have killed me in my sleep if she wanted._

"Why didn't you kill me?" he asked, eventually.

She averted her eyes. "I am not permitted to harm my master in any way, shape or form. I… my father… amended my programming after a… certain incident occurred several years ago."

_So in other words… she doesn't have free will of her own… what kind of man would even do such a thing to his own child? Actually, _he thought with a shudder, _I don't need to know the answer to that question. I already know something of what he's done._

"Was there anything you required, Ishida-sama?"

Cogs began to turn in his mind, coming up with new thoughts and the vague outline of an idea. It would be risky; extremely so, in fact, but given what he had seen of the man, and the fact that Uryuu had not been discovered earlier…

He stood up.

"Would you be willing to give me a tour of the Twelfth Division whilst we're here?"

* * *

Nemu was incapable of emotions. Mayuri Kurotsuchi had made sure of that long ago, carefully operating on her frontal lobes to remove any possible empathy for other living creatures. She vaguely recalled that she had had such things once, since they were removed only after she had attempted to free a young human soul from her father's not-so-tender clutches. That particular incident was severely punished, since the boy had almost gotten into the hands of the Fourth Division.

Nonetheless, she felt strange at the sight of this man. The killer of her father, her new master…

About two thirds of the Twelfth Division was still functioning as normal. The other third had either made futile attempts to flee, or were in hiding in the various laboratories. Nemu had felt some small satisfaction at activating the emergency protocols; quite a number of people had been trapped between the blast doors meant to contain the Gillian in an emergency.

Some of the more desperate shinigami had made attempts to break out using kidou. The sleeping gases had put paid to that quite quickly, before the automated security drones had dragged them off to containment cells.

Now it was mainly just a matter of clearing out the last of the bolt-holes. Her new master had been displeased at the existence of certain hidden laboratories, to say the least.

She waited patiently as Uryuu Ishida trawled through the records, searching for the information that Mayuri Kurotsuchi had obtained from his ancestors.

"…Orion-taichou?" Rin hovered in the doorway, a tea-tray in his hands as his taichou winced.

"…could you please stop calling me that… just Uryuu will do…"

Rin looked shocked at such an idea. "But that would be terribly impolite!"

"I don't mind – ah." There was a satisfied-sounding beep from the computer, as a long slew of information came up. Uryuu's expression, if anything, became grimmer.

He stood up. "Would you mind keeping the biscuits for a few minutes?"

* * *

Kagerouza Inaba was not having a good day. In fact, he could say with some certainty that this was turning out to be the worst possible outcome.

He'd managed to escape the fate of so many of his other colleagues; Hiyosu had decided the situation had become untenable under the new taichou, and decided to flee. He'd made it to ten feet from the entrance before the blast doors came down, blocking him from sight. After that, Kagerouza had decided to slip in through one of the more secret passages, down to his _personal _laboratory.

_Nonetheless… it would be prudent to keep moving. I can't rely on the secrecy holding for much longer._

Kagerouza did not need to be told what would happen should he be discovered. There had been a select few chosen by Mayuri Kurotsuchi – those who were willing to push forward the boundaries of science, no matter what the cost. None of them had known _exactly _who all of the others were, just for security's sake, but Mayuri had contingency plans for everything. There was a List of people who were involved, just in case a fall guy was ever needed.

A list that was now in the hands of a pseudo-hollowified Quincy, who had quite the grudge.

He stared up at the glass tube. His other half lay within there, floating peacefully and undisturbed. The others in the row were all worthless; incomplete copies of the taichous and fukutaichous, pathetic mockeries of their power that wouldn't hold a candle to the genuine article. He hadn't had enough of their reiryoku to construct accurate versions, and some of them were barely human in appearance.

_Yushima… I had hoped that we might one day be complete again… No, that dream can still be fulfilled! It has to be! They have enough intelligence to follow orders. All I have to do is release the reigai, and in the distraction –_

He felt the sensation of something distinctly pressing against the back of his skull, and stiffened. The reiatsu that had barely been a flicker now honed itself into a razor-sharp blade against his throat.

"I would _really _recommend you step away from that machine right now."

Kagerouza swallowed. On the one hand, the blade was a mere projection of reiatsu, and he could probably get out of the way of the arrow for long enough to release all the other reigai… not to mention that having his head cut off would do little other than inconvenience him, since he could always make another container.

Except in the time it would take to get another body, his other half would probably have been destroyed.

_To never be complete again… is unacceptable!_

He made his decision, dropping to the ground before lunging for the 'Release' button. Thirteen pairs of eyes snapped open as an ear-splitting screech rent the air, the fluid rapidly draining away from the large glass tubes.

The glass shattered as the first of the reigai – one of the more complete specimens, he noted with some regret – broke its container with a fist. A flash of silver, and its head slid off its shoulders as the reigai slumped to the floor.

"Go mad, Rai-"

There was a flicker of movement as a brief warning, before a hand buried itself in his chest. He barely had the time to register the pain before his connection with his reigai finally broke, leaving him trapped but safe in the condensed form of a gikongan

_crunch_

* * *

Uryuu didn't have much time to react before the man in front of him dived for the control panel and all hell broke loose. The vaguely human-looking creatures woke up, smashing open the glass before making a lunge for him.

The blade scythed through the air, decapitating the closest one before it could attack. Kagerouza turned, drawing his own zanpakuto and raising it before him.

"Go mad, Rai-"

He moved to intercept the shinigami's shikai. Nemu, though, had already reacted with a brief burst of shunpou, her hand passing through the man's abdominal cavity with a surprising lack of mess.

_I would've thought that shinigami bled more than that…_

Absent-mindedly, he twitched his fingers, drawing the asauchi back and flicking it towards its next targets – a pair of indistinguishable, dark-haired creatures that moved with surprising speed. Another twitch, and the wire wrapped itself tightly around the pair, trapping them as it cut through.

The blade returned to his hand. Uryuu surveyed the damage; Nemu had taken out the rest of the… whatever they had been… with minimal effort. She proffered something to him – the crumbled remains of a little red sphere.

"What _is _that?" he asked, frowning. _It looks like Kai's pill, except it can't be… he said that the project was shut down years ago, and the other Mod Souls were destroyed._

"It appears to be some kind of gikongan… apparently he was not an actual shinigami, although I have never met anyone with sufficient skill to create something that could mimic a shinigami's abilities to such an extent." She glanced at the remains. "The vessel is a close enough imitation to pass as an ordinary soul, which is somewhat worrying. It would explain something of his knowledge of gikongan, though."

_Hmm… I couldn't tell the difference between him and an ordinary shinigami. Perhaps I might be able to master that concealment technique in time..._

* * *

"Renji!" Ichigo waved cheerfully as the shinigami leapt down into the cavern.

"What the hell're _you _doing here?" he asked, scowling. "The whole of the Seireitei's up in arms about some hollow breaking in and killing Aizen-taichou - they found his body pinned up in the middle of Seireitei. The Fourth Division're looking at it right now, but it looked like a hollow – "

Yoruichi gave Ichigo a meaningful look.

_That wasn't me! As if I would ever be that unsubtle! If I killed him, they'd never find all the pieces!_

_…I don't think she can hear your psychic messages, _Kaien pointed out.

"Well… Totally not guilty here."

Renji blinked.

"What?"

"Uh… that's to say, I'm pretty sure that nobody who came with me would actually kill one of the taichous." _Without undue provocation, _he added mentally. _And even then, I'm pretty sure only Uryuu would ever do something like that… although admittedly Tatsuki might beat someone to a pulp if they tried hurting Orihime._

"Anyway, you never answered my question," Renji continued, narrowing his gaze.

Ichigo beamed. "Isn't it obvious? I'm training."

"…Training?" Renji asked sceptically.

"Of course!"

For a brief second, it looked as if Yoruichi was going to say something, but she merely shrugged, shaking her head as the fukutaichou continued to stare.

"Fair enough. I was planning to get ready to use… something… I guess I could always do with an opponent."

* * *

Ichigo blinked, shaking off the brief sensation of falling as he appeared in the moonlit realm of his soul. The scenery had changed dramatically, though; where last time he had been in the midst of a midnight city, this time he was standing on a beach.

"Ah… Kurosaki-sama. We meet at last."

Ichigo turned around. A strange looking woman was standing next to him. Ichigo blinked in surprise. He was sure he would have remembered someone who looked like her. For starters, she was blue all over – her skin and hair were both blue, though the hair was a richer shade and in many braids with strange red bands in them that looked like they were made of some kind of rock. A coral-carved lotus blossom tucked her free long bangs to the left side, leaving her somewhat angular facial features in full view. Her outfit was rather...skimpy, looking like a bikini in silver and blue, with a half-skirt thing in a deep emerald tied so it fell on her left side. She was bare foot when he looked down, for a very good reason as well – her feet seemed distorted, like a cross between a bird and lizard's with sharp black claws – claws that were also on her hands. Looking closer, Ichigo noticed that she seemed to have a dusting of scales on her limbs and surrounding her face. Her eyes were a deep dark emerald that seemed to have immense depths in them, slitted like some dangerous beast's.

Then she smiled; Ichigo got the impression it was for roughly the same reason that a shark would smile at its prey.

_Great... now I've got a creepy lady in my head as well as a shinigami._

"Who are you?"

Kaien stepped forward. "Uh… well, this is Nejibana. It's kinda hard to explain, but… zanpakutou spirits have a mind of their own, and they can appear in the Inner World to talk to their wielders. You didn't see her before because she was inside _my _Inner World, which is separate from yours, but I can manifest her for the time being, and – "

"I think I can do my own explaining from now on, Shiba-sama," Nejibana cut in quietly.

The ex-fukutaichou winced. "Of course."

"…why'd you call me down here, in that case?"

"There is something I can assist you with," she explained, serenely. "You see… the nature of the Soukyoku is derived from the nature of the commander of the Gotei 13. That would currently be Yamamoto Genryuusai – and, since his zanpakutou is an elemental-type aligned with fire, the Soukyoku takes the form of a great phoenix." She paused. "Of course, since the Soukyoku isn't _directly _powered by the soutaichou, it only has part of his reiryoku, and the rest is generated by a series of other shinigami in order to augment the weapon."

The smile became even more predatory. "However, if one were to overpower the fraction of his reiryoku that he places in the Soukyoku… then it will all fall apart."

Ichigo frowned. "What do I need to do, then?"

"Oh, it's quite a simple thing." Nejibana smirked. "All you need to do is use my bankai."

* * *

_It feels like I ran into a truck again…_

Yasutora's left eye cracked open slightly. The ceiling was decidedly unhelpful in telling him where he was, being the standard white of ceilings everywhere.

He groaned, and sat up.

…_Is that Uryuu with that notebook –_

"Good morning." The woman glanced at him. "I take it you're fully recovered by now."

"…who are you?"

She adjusted her spectacles. "Nanao Ise, fukutaichou of the Eighth Division. Kyouraku-taichou – " this last was said with some distaste – "instructed me to look after you whilst the hangover wore off."

"Oh." His mind flashed guiltily back to the one saucer of sake. "Sorry."

Nanao sighed. "Why a ryoka would even bother to do something like that… and then _that man _had the nerve to call me away from my duties…"

"Are you going to torture me for information?"

The woman blinked. "Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. Although… why would you even agree to a drinking contest with _Kyouraku-taichou _when breaking in?"

"Well…" _He _is _one of the strongest people in the Seireitei, and after Urahara-san's speech, I thought he might at least be willing to listen. I just didn't expect the sake to be strong enough to knock me out…_

"…so basically it's like that…"

Yasutora was saved from having to explain further by the arrival of Kyoraku Shunsui, who waved casually as he slid the door open.

"Kid. You got any way of contacting your friends?"

"…no, why?" Yasutora asked, slightly suspicious.

Shunsui shrugged. "We've got a day to get ready."

"Kyouraku-taichou…" Nanao looked horrified. "You can't possibly mean you're _actually going to _– "

"Relax, Nanao-chan, it'll be fine. I've got my promises to uphold to Jyuu-kun, and besides…" The laidback taichou smirked slightly. "What kind of man would I be if I just let an innocent damsel in distress be executed?"

* * *

Kai had finally managed to escape from the pink-haired terror.

…_I thought she was never going to let me go… it's lucky that dude in black turned up to talk to her, or I'd be even more stuffed than I already am!_

He sneaked down the street, sticking to the gutters. The streets were oddly empty, but that suited him just fine. It wasn't as if he wanted to be seen, after all.

_Now… if I can just find the others again…_

* * *

"I have to find a flower?"

"Precisely." Nejibana's smile was starting to unsettle him.

Ichigo stared, still trying to search for the catch. "Any kind of flower?"

In response, the Zanpakutou spirit reached up to her hair, pulling out the carved coral lotus blossom he had noticed there, letting the hair free from her many braids fall down carelessly.

She presented the flower to him, held between her claws.

"My flower, to be precise. I want you to retrieve some from the ocean."

Kaien looked slightly uncomfortable at this. "Uh… don't you think that's a bit – "

"I am at perfect liberty to set my own tests, as are appropriate for the situation. My powers are not something that come _free, _after all."

Ichigo glanced at the water lapping the beach.

_I guess I might as well get started…_

Gingerly, he dipped a toe into the water. It was about as cold as he had expected, not to mention the unpleasant sensation of the sand pressing against his bare, human feet.

With some trepidation, Ichigo waded further out, the water level coming up to his waist.

…_how deep do you even find that stuff? It must be pitch-black down there –_

A brief ripple on the surface of the water was the only warning before something clamped onto his legs, pulling him under.

"…you did this deliberately just to get revenge, didn't you," Kaien said flatly, watching his cousin vanish under the water's surface.

Nejibana shrugged, entirely unconcerned as she inspected her claws. "It _is _meant to be a challenge for bankai. And besides, I am hardly the kind of Zanpakutou that would offer the pinnacle of my abilities in return for a mere show of brute strength."

"Maybe, but even so… a sea full of hollows…"

"I am hardly responsible for the condition of his own mind." The Zanpakutou sat down on the beach, crossing her legs. "If he fails, then that will be his own doing. Not mine."

Both shinigami and zanpakutou surveyed the water.

"Nejibana?"

"Hmm?" She turned to face her master.

"Do you suppose he knows how to swim?"

* * *

_drowning in the darkness, with the pressure weighing down on him and air being sucked out of his lungs as the hollow tore at his defenceless body_

Ichigo lashed out blindly, bubbles of air escaping from his mouth as he tried to hit the hollow. It released him abruptly, leaving him to struggle to get back to the surface –

His feet found sand. With one last desperate effort, he pushed, surfacing.

Ichigo spluttered, coughing up seawater as he tried to suck precious air back into his lungs.

A sharp sound cut through the air. He turned towards the beach; six foot away sat Nejibana, who was applauding with gusto.

"Congratulations. You managed to almost drown before even getting out of the shallows!"

…_does she need to look so cheery about it?_

"How am I even… meant to find that coral… in this light?" he managed.

"It's luminous when alive. You're going to have to search a bit deeper than that, I'm afr-"

And then he was under the surface again, sharp teeth digging into his human legs.

_This is ridiculous. I'm a hollow! I shouldn't even need to breathe… except I look human here…_

Ichigo struggled, trying to break free of the other hollow once more. His fist connected with something hard, cracking it as the other creature flailed frantically. Its form dissipated, releasing him from its claws.

_I don't need to breathe… this is my world… and here, I have power._

The water swirled, tugging at his body as it tried to suck him further downwards.

_I don't need to breathe._

His lungs felt as if they were about to burst as he was swept away, losing his tenuous foothold in the sand.

_I don't need to breathe –_

The pressure abated. Ichigo gasped for air, opening his eyes; it seemed as if the entire ocean had drained itself away, leaving a vast canyon in its place. Stars seemed to glimmer down on the sides of the canyon, and the pale shapes of stranded hollows were just visible below, struggling uselessly in the absence of their element.

He stared, before looking up at Nejibana once more. Her face was impassive; in contrast, Kaien was openly gaping.

Without further prompting, Ichigo leaped down into the abyss.

* * *

"He just drained the whole ocean."

"Quite."

"The _entire – _" Kaien shook his head in disbelief. "How do you even modify your own Inner World to that level? That sort of thing shouldn't be possible, not for a hollow, and especially not with the level of familiarity he has with this place! He's only been here twice!"

"Not _everything _is forgotten," Nejibana commented mildly. "I can merely suppose that a part of him remembers the past."

"…you think he was a shinigami once?" He frowned. "He doesn't exactly show much affinity with a zanpakutou, although it might explain something of his reiryoku."

The zanpakutou's gaze narrowed as she watched Ichigo's descent. "Perhaps, but I doubt it."

"Well then, what do _you _think it is? A Kurosuke speciality?"

"Hardly. They are more specialized in brute power, not finesse. Refined internal landscaping would be entirely beyond them, especially to this kind of degree – it would be beyond almost any shinigami except one such as yourself." Nejibana paused thoughtfully, watching Ichigo fend off the recovering hollows.

"I wonder what he might achieve with my power…"

* * *

[insert gratuitous clock whirly animation here]

* * *

Keigo gloomily contemplated his current prospects from his bunk bed. Things were not looking good.

His hands were currently chained together by cuffs made of some weird material that blocked his abilities. In short, he was completely useless; locked up by the enemy, and awaiting interrogation and/or torture. The only minor positive was that they had neglected to remove his Converse - not that it did him any good.

_Miz's still unconscious too… I bet Uryuu wouldn't be stuck down here, though. Nah, he's got his lockpicks, he'd be outta here in less than a minute –_

"Yo."

A bandage-wrapped head appeared from the bunk above him.

"_Shiiiii-_"

Keigo recoiled, trying frantically to get as far away as possible from the creature.

"Hey! Seriously, calm down!" The mummy waved. "It's me!"

He stared.

"…you're the fireworks dude who ran off with Ichigo?"

"It's Ganju Shiba, dammit! Ganju Shiba! My name's not that hard to remember!" Ganju's head pulled up, before his legs swung over the edge and he clambered down off the top bunk. "I guess you got caught too, then…"

"Wait a second, what happened to Ichigo?" Keigo interrupted.

The bandages wrinkled as Ganju scowled underneath. "That asshole… he ran off and dumped us outside the Penitence Shrine after that bastard Kuchiki turned up!"

…_he dumped them? He didn't seem like that kinda guy… 'specially not with the way Uryuu was treating him._

"Anyway," Ganju continued grumpily, "Hana's on probation duty, so he can't come down here at the moment. Not to mention… that scary lady who came round when I tried to get out…" He shuddered.

Keigo considered this.

"You got any explosives?" he asked, hopefully.

"Nope… they all got confiscated when the medics took me in."

"Nnngh…"

_He's awake!_

Mizuiro groaned, opening his eyes as Keigo rushed over towards him.

"_Miiiiiiz!" _He clutched at his best friend, insofar as it was possible with his hands chained together. "I was so worried, what the hell were you thinking, you could have _died _or something or be stuck in a coma for the rest of your life or afterlife or whatever and nobody in Karakura would ever know – "

"Asano-san," Mizurio said flatly. "You're giving me a headache."

Keigo winced. "Sorry."

"Uh… I take it you don't have any way of getting out of here, either?" Ganju asked tentatively.

"They confiscated his mobile and he's got those sealing cuffs on too, so we're stuck here for the moment – "

"Psst."

Keigo looked up.

…_where did that come from? There's nobody at the door –_

"Over here. It's me, Kai!"

He stared at the small plush lion as it slipped in between the bars in the window.

"You managed to escape too?" Ganju asked, staring. "I thought you were with Ichigo – "

"I had to run away from this horrifying pink monster… it was terrible…" Kai coughed. "Anyway, I'm here to rescue you!"

"…I was kinda expecting somebody more… heroic-looking," Keigo felt compelled to say.

_Even being rescued by Uryuu in his ridiculous-looking cosplay outfit would be better than a 6-inch-high plushie._

Kai scowled, folding his arms across his chest.

"Hey, _I'm _not the one who's locked up here. You'd better show some gratitude to your rescuer – "

His indignant speech was cut short by an ominous rumbling noise.

"What's happe-"

With a crash, the ceiling fell in, showering everyone with rubble. Kai shrieked, running for cover as an ominous shadow loomed at the newly created hole. Several shadows, in fact.

Keigo squinted, shielding his eyes against the light.

"Oy. You're friends of Ichigo, right?"

_That voice… sounds really ominous…_

"Funny bear!" A pink blur dashed into the room, grabbing Kai and squeezing him tightly. He whimpered, struggling to get free.

"Good, you're here. I was wondering what we'd do if we managed to get the wrong room by accident…"

"_Tatsuki?_" Keigo asked incredulously, as his classmate slid down into the room.

"Obviously. Orihime's here, too. I don't know what happened to Yasutora, but we're running out of time."

Mizuiro frowned, standing up. "What happened?"

"The execution date got moved forward – we don't have three days any more. It's this morning." She proffered a hand to Keigo, helping him up off the bed.

"Uh… I don't know about you, but they put these cuffs that stop me from getting out – "

Keigo flinched as a massive sword swung through the air, screeching as it broke through the cuffs.

"Th-thanks," he stammered, as the eyepatch-man's one visible eye narrowed. "But Miz still doesn't have his cellphone, they confiscated it and – "

"_Good morning, Mizuiro Kojima… I hope you feel well-rested._"

Keigo stared, open-mouthed at the familiar synthesized tones of GLaDOS.

…_am I the only one who finds it intensely creepy that Miz's phone turned up as soon as he woke up?_

"Ah, whatever… let's get out of here already," grumbled Ganju. "I'm sick of this dungeon!"

* * *

Nemu stared at the item in her hands.

A pale, wrinkled-looking mass of flesh floated gently inside the glass cylinder, the living remains of Mayuri Kurotsuchi.

_Father…_

The man's instructions had been very specific in case of an emergency. He had created a backup brain in the event something actually managed to kill him; that, along with his zanpakutou and an appropriate fresh soul, would be enough to bring him back.

_Protect and serve… my job is to serve and protect what is important… but then, what is more important?_

_Duty, or justice?_

"Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou?" Uryuu was at the door, frowning slightly. "We need to leave. Are you feeling alright?"

She reached a decision.

"Yes… taichou-sama. There is just one last matter that needs to be dealt with before we leave…"


	42. The End: Not

**This time on TWiBaW: **The actual real chapter 42!

* * *

**A/N:** Well... this chapter was going to be longer, but I felt that delaying it any more would be irritating. Part of the next chapter has already been written, too.

_(please don't kill me just yet)_

* * *

Rukia looked up at the door as it slid open. This time, it was exactly who she had expected. Twelve guards waited solemnly outside, as a thirteenth stepped inside.

"Rukia Kuchiki. Will you come quietly?"

She bowed her head.

"…yes. I'm ready now," she whispered.

_Whether or not they are still alive is no longer my concern. I merely hope that they will be shown mercy… perhaps Ukitake-taichou might persuade the Gotei 13 to let them live._

The words sounded empty to her mind as she was escorted outside. Associating with hollows, particularly a Vasto Lorde; breaking into the Seireitei itself; damaging the infrastructure; attempting to break into a high-security jail; injuring multiple shinigami in the process… no. Hoping for their release was as far away a dream as hoping that she might be pardoned.

Rukia glanced up at the sky. It was gloomy, overcast with dark clouds, as if the weather itself mourned the imminent passing of a soul.

"Hey, Kuchiki-chan… how're ya doin'?"

She looked up, surprised and wary at the sight of the grinning face of Gin Ichimaru. The guards escorting her were uncomfortable with the man's presence, but he was a taichou, after all. He outranked them all by far; even though they reported directly to Central 46 as guards, they were hardly _accomplished _shinigami. They didn't even have named zanpakuto of their own.

"Ichimaru-taichou?"

"What, I'm not allowed to say hi to my favourite convict when I won' be seein' her ever again?" He pouted. "You're so cruel to me, Kuchiki-chan!"

…_he came here to mock me before my death… this man…_

"Something ya might be interested in," he continued, smiling widely. "Ya know about that cannonball thing that broke inta the Seireitei… 'course you do, everyone's heard 'bout it. Well, 'pparently there was some kid tha's been seen around afterwards. Wearin' all white, dark hair, glasses, blue eyes – "

_Uryuu?! He came, too? Ichigo I might understand, if he is Kaien-dono's soul successor, and Orihime and Tatsuki at least were friendly, but Uryuu never liked me enough to do this. He certainly wouldn't come all the way here just for me._

"…what happened to him?" she asked, managing to keep her voice calm. _If he ran into one of the taichous…_

"Hmm? Nothin' I know 'bout for certain yet, but… I heard as Kurotsuchi-taichou got pretty miffed about his cameras 'n sensors all shuttin' down," Ichimaru replied conversationally. "He's prolly been caught by now, standin' out like that." The grin widened. "_Really _wouldn' wanna be in his shoes…"

"Please, can you – "

"Save him for ya?" He shrugged. "Guess I could do ya a favour… let ya see those friends of yers again… a favour from one Rukon kid to another, right?"

"Ichimaru-taichou?" one of the guards asked uneasily.

"What'll ya do for me if I off all the guards and let ya go free?"

…_he'd willingly rescue me?_

"Ichimaru-tai-"

"Jes' kiddin'!" He smirked, patting Rukia on the head as the guards shifted around uncomfortably. "I'd never do somethin' like that, after all~"

She stared at him, lost for words as he gave a jaunty wave, walking away again.

"See ya around… Kuchiki."

_That man… I made my peace with everything, and yet he managed to unsettle me so easily…_

Rukia tried to repress the urge to scream.

She failed.

* * *

"Taichouuuuu!"

Soi Fon groaned.

_Of all the things to wake up to… it had to be him._

Oomaeda was standing next to her bed, weeping over her.

"Shut up. What day is it?"

"Oh… right, yeah, the execution is going on today, but I guess since you're still – "

"It's most likely that the intruders will come to intervene," she interrupted sharply as she swung her legs off the bed. "Besides, we have an obligation to attend the execution." _Suzumebachi is by my side… that will save some time, at least. Although I still wonder how that child was able to use my own bakudou against me._

"What happened to the intruders?" she asked, slipping her zanpakuto back into place on its sash.

Her fukutaichou looked relieved at this topic of conversation. "They're all locked up safe in the Fourth Division security cells, they're not gonna be getting out any time soon – "

The door opened, allowing a pale-faced medic to stumble through.

"Soi Fon-taichou… I'm sorry to have to disturb you so soon after your recovery, but there's been an emergency." The shinigami licked his lips nervously. "It seems Kenpachi-taichou just broke out the captive ryoka – we couldn't stop him, by the time we managed to get down to the cells they were already gone, and Unohana-taichou already left for Soukyoku Hill – "

Soi Fon sighed, causing the medic to cut off the end of his sentence.

_I suppose it falls to me to fix this… that brute will not be hard to track, though. Any fool with the ability to perceive reiatsu could tell where Zaraki Kenpachi has gone._

"Oomaeda… keep up. And _do _try not to be useless this time, will you?"

Without waiting for a response, she leaped out of the window.

* * *

Sosuke Aizen smiled in the darkness.

Pretending to be the entire Central 46 had been tiresome, even more so when he'd had to keep up the façade of being the friendly, loving taichou on top of everything else. Now, though, his plans were coming to fruition, and all the pieces he needed were on the board.

_Besides, playing the fatherly act is hardly as infuriating as attempting to compensate for the machinations of that race when they _weren't _practically extinct… no, I have no regrets in causing their genocide. They were a complicating factor I needed to eliminate. One would really have thought that they would guard their supplies of hollow bait better, though. The level of their naïveté sometimes was really quite ridiculous. Of course, there is still the complicating factor of the last acting Quincy again, but given the relationship between Uryuu Ishida and Ichigo Kurosaki, that will hardly be an issue._

He sighed. Nonetheless, it had been interesting to watch the abilities of Ichigo's apparent companions, even if only for a brief period before the surveillance system had died completely. Sosuke had been somewhat put out at the lack of ability to monitor everyone after that had happened, but he supposed that he could deal with having to use his reiatsu-sensing abilities instead of relying on a camera. Besides, it was hardly as if anything especially game-changing was going to happen – other than the Quincy possibly getting himself killed, which would only work in Sosuke's favour.

_The expressions on the faces of the taichous will be priceless when they find out what, precisely, has entered their supposedly impenetrable realm. However… I suppose I should get moving. It wouldn't do to miss the execution, after all… even if they do think I'm dead._

* * *

"Ukitake-taichou?"

"Ukitake-taichou!"

Juushirou Ukitake winced, struggling to pull the large artifact out of the storage cupboard. _Remind me to thank Shihoin-sama for leaving this behind… if I ever see her again. Then again, it doesn't seem particularly unlikely, given that exile will probably be the result if I pull this off._

"Ah! I found him!"

Kiyone arrived, ecstatically greeting her taichou with a hug from behind, causing Ukitake to drop the sealing device again.

"I found him first, monkey face!" Sentarou cut in, attempting to push her aside.

"Don't listen to him, Ukitake-taichou, you know I was – "

"Kiyone… Sentarou," he managed, struggling to get to his feet. Both his subordinates sprang to immediate attention, the very picture of reverent concern as they helped him up.

"Taichou!"

"Taichou?"

He looked at his Third Seats, both eagerly awaiting orders.

_I hope that I'm not dragging them into this unnecessarily… but then, they feel the same way about Kuchiki-san as I do. I am not going to let one of my subordinates die again. Not as long as I can do something about it._

"Help me carry this to Soukyoku Hill, will you?"

Both of them saluted, before picking up one side each.

_There will be no regrets, _the taichou thought as he stepped outside. _Better to have acted upon my emotions and have failed, than to never have done so at all…_

Unusually enough, neither of his subordinates were squabbling for once. He looked up at the gathering rain clouds, frowning at the memories they brought back.

_This nostalgic weather… things will be different this time. I promise._

* * *

"Left, Ken-chan! Left!"

"Uh, we've got a map to the Soukyoku if you want to – _hey! _Stop spitting at me!" Keigo tried to shield himself from the spitball assault.

"Stupid droopy, Yachiru has the map all in her head!" The girl stuck out her tongue at him from her perch on Zaraki Kenpachi's shoulder, still clinging on to the unfortunate Kai.

_Augh… I know we can get there faster, but we keep running into all these dead ends because of her. _Keigo repressed a shudder. _Not that I'm saying it to her face… that giant'd probably get majorly pissed if we said anything bad about his kid…_

"…who designed this place, anyway?" he felt obliged to ask.

Ikkaku grunted as he ran alongside. "Hell if I know. Probably some crazy-ass guy, though. Either that or he was high on something when he thought it was a good idea to make some city-maze thing…"

Zaraki stopped in the centre of a large courtyard.

"Ya know… it's kinda rude to keep hidin' like a coward when there's someone out for a fight."

Four black-clad figures slipped down from the rooftops. One of them was a helmeted, white-coated man whose height rivalled that of Kenpachi; the other taichou was darker-skinned than the other shinigami Keigo had seen so far, with a visor covering his eyes. The other two had the armbands that marked out the fukutaichous; both would easily pass for yakuza wannabes in the Living World.

_Well… crap, _he thought. The sentiment didn't seem to be shared by the members of the Eleventh Squad, though; if anything, Zaraki Kenpachi was grinning wider than ever.

"Four on one, huh… maybe this'll even be a fair fight for once." He turned around. "You brats… go ahead with Yachiru. There's no point you bein' in the way here."

Keigo glanced at his human companions. Orihime… well, she was a pacifist and therefore unlikely to be much use in an actual fight. Tatsuki would probably be able to deal with other people as long as they weren't too strong, but Mizuiro might end up killing himself whilst trying to help out.

…_besides, I'm pretty sure those guys are so much stronger than me it'd be ridiculous._

One of the fukutaichous – the sunglasses-wearing one – moved to block their path, only for Yachiru to bat the man aside with one hand.

"Get outta the way, silly!" she called as he went flying backwards.

_Remind me never to piss off that girl… wait, I'm pretty sure I already did that._

"Have you lost your mind entirely, Zaraki Kenpachi?"

The giant taichou yawned in reply. _Migh' as well go to sleep… next ten minutes'll be all 'justice path of least bloodshed blah blah blah'… get on with the fight already, dammit!_

"Nah… 'part from gettin' bored waitin' for ya to start." He glanced at his subordinates. "Pick one of those guys and get on with it, ya're just gonna be in the way."

Yumichika and Ikkaku saluted.

"Wait, you want to fight us? We're fukutaichous!" exclaimed Iba incredulously, causing Ikkaku to smirk.

"Actually… I kinda remember you leaving the squad just 'cause you couldn't hack not bein' second in command. 'Sides, don't underestimate us!" Ikkaku drew his zanpakuto. "We're the Eleventh!"

Kenpachi's one visible eye narrowed.

_This is takin' too long._

"Get goin' already." His reiatsu flared slightly; his subordinates took the hint, leaving the battlefield with haste.

The blind man's eyebrow began to twitch dangerously.

"Perhaps a demon such as yourself finds amusement in such a situation… yes, allying yourself with the ryoka in order to further such destruction would be exactly the kind of thing you would do." Tousen's hand lowered to his zanpakuto. "As someone who must follow the path of least bloodshed, I cannot allow an abomination such as yourself to exist any longer!"

Kenpachi smirked as the other taichou readied their weapons.

_Heh… this should be fun._

* * *

Renji swore as he raced towards the Soukyoku. He was late as it was; he'd dropped by the Kuchiki manor and passed through the Sixth Division, but Kuchiki-taichou had already left to attend the execution. Ichigo had left the hidden training ground before he had, though, not to mention that the ginger kid didn't have the same responsibilities, so Rukia would probably be safe.

_That guy... I can't let him outdo me. I just managed to achieve my bankai, not to mention… I've been Rukia's friend for ages. I should be the one to save her! _He scowled. _Although I guess… as long as she's safe, it doesn't matter too much._

He almost ran straight into a dark-skinned man he hadn't seen before, coming to a halt before he hit the other shinigami.

"Sorry, I was in a rush – "

Renji did a double take.

_Didn't they say there was a giant Mexican-looking person who broke in? Not to mention… he's waiting at the only path to Soukyoku Hill…_

The other dropped into a protective stance.

"Wait, are you with Uryuu?" he asked tentatively.

"…you've met him?"

"Well, yeah… him and that other guy Ichigo." Renji winced. "Rukia's an old friend, actually. We go way back."

"Yasutora Sado." The Mexican offered a hand.

He accepted it briefly, before smirking.

"Well, what're we hanging around waiting here for?" _We've got a princess to rescue!_

* * *

Nobody else interrupted Rukia's journey to the Soukyoku, not that she really expected anyone to. Ichigo was probably one of the only people who might be able to bring down a taichou… and even then, he had been forced away by the dual presence of Ukitake and her own brother. As for Uryuu…

She shuddered, trying not to think of what punishment Kurotsuchi would exact on any of the children he might find. The taichou's fury was legendary when it came to interfering with his experiments, and given that Ichimaru had mentioned the entire security system had been shut down –

_No. Don't think about it. There is nothing you can do for him now. There is nothing you can do for him now._

In the distance, someone's reiatsu flared; Kenpachi's strength was obvious even at this distance. There were others too, but her senses were too muted to be able to distinguish any of them.

_Renji and Nii-sama… no, they can't be fighting for me. They would never abandon their duties in such a manner – but all the same, it would be nice to think that they cared enough to make a stand…_

The guards came to a sudden halt, causing the collar to jerk her out of her reverie. Startled, she looked up.

The taichous waited at the base of the Soukyoku. There were considerably less of them than she had been expecting; Yamamoto Genryuusai was in attendance with his fukutaichou, as were Retsu Unohana and Kyoraku Shunsui.

They waited in silence.

_Where is everyone else? This can't be all –_

She turned at the sound of footsteps.

"Nii-"

He walked past without a backwards glance at her, taking his place alone at the soutaichou's side as the honorific died on her lips.

_Renji isn't with Nii-sama… what happened to him? Come to think of it, what happened to all the other taichous? I suppose Ukitake-taichou might be excused for illness, but even so…_

"Ah… it hasn't started yet."

She froze, still facing the array of taichous.

_Uryuu is here. _How _is Uryuu here? He wouldn't just turn up in such an obvious manner –_

Rukia turned around to look. Slowly, so as to prevent herself from screaming or making any other kind of noise that might give away –

Uryuu moved… differently. There was a faint hint of a swagger to the step that was unfamiliar to her, not to mention that he was wearing _thought he was deathly allergic to that colour _black, with a white haori over everything and a zanpakuto that she'd seen before and Nemu following behind him –

"What is the meaning of this?" Yamamoto growled from behind her as she tried not to cry out at the discrepancies that were so obviously _wrong._

Uryuu shrugged carelessly, coming to a halt.

"A minor incident with one of the ryoka. I was… temporarily inconvenienced. Needless to say, the matter has been resolved."

_Resolved… that's Kurotsuchi-taichou's zanpakuto. He can't possibly think that he can pass himself off, he doesn't even look like him but _–

The reiatsu signature of the man before her was, quite definitely, that of Mayuri Kurotsuchi.

_What has he done…_

"This brat was foolish enough to think he could actually _defeat _me… and, briefly, he felt as if he had succeeded." He smirked slightly. "His arrogance has been rectified. Permanently. Of course," he added as Rukia's horror continued to grow, "there are various additional adjustments that need making. This container is highly flawed, after all; I still have yet to rectify the issues of the shortsightedness and hormonality, but all in all – "

"Let him _go!_" Rukia screamed, unable to control her emotions any longer as she attempted to lunge at. "Give him back – "

"Nemu. Shut her up, will you?"

Before she could register Nemu's nod in acknowledgement, the bakudou had already taken effect. It wrapped itself around her jaw, slamming it shut and causing her to bite her tongue. Hard.

"There is nothing _left _to be given back. The person who previously wore this face… no longer exists."

_No… he can't be gone, _she thought desperately. _There has to be something left –_

"My, my… Do you really need to be that cruel to her?"

Kurotsuchi scowled, turning towards Kyouraku. "The alternative would be for her to die in ignorance. I could always let her suffer under the delusion of rescue, but that would be both foolish and pointless."

"Rukia Kuchiki. Do you have any last requests?"

She tried to speak, but her mouth was bound shut.

Byakuya gave Uryuu – _no, Kurotsuchi, it's Kurotsuchi now – _a sharp look, causing the latter to sigh.

"Oh, _very _well… Nemu."

"Yes, Mayuri-sama." The length of spiritual fabric unwound itself, freeing her once more.

…_perhaps it's too late for him… but I might be able to do something for the others… I suppose it probably won't happen, but I may as well make the request._

"Please, release the other ryoka." Her mouth felt dry. "They just wanted to see me again. They didn't…"

She trailed off at the expression on Kurotsuchi's face. The taichou scoffed openly as Yamamoto's frown deepened.

"Very well… we will take this into consideration."

_I suppose that's about as much as I could hope for, under the circumstances._

Her escorts guided her into place before the scaffold. She felt the brief sensation of the ancient kidou activating, lifting her arms into place and holding her feet still as the restraints attached to her neck were released.

_I regret I wasn't able to save Uryuu… but I have no desires for myself. I've already cost enough lives already._

A drop of rain landed on her face, before being followed by another and another. In a few seconds, it had turned into an all-out rainstorm as the kidou brought her to a halt at the top of the scaffold. The people below and their activities were vaguely visible as blurs, moving –

And then Ichigo was standing in front of her, Nejibana's trident in hand. He gave her a jaunty wave as she stared, speechless.

"Hi. Miss me?"

Cracks of bluish-white light began to appear in the kido binding, multiplying and expanding until the whole thing shattered in a flurry of reishi, sucked downwards towards the figure below.

_Who's helping him? _she wondered, just before the platform split in half.

Rukia shrieked, tumbling down to a painful death below –

– only for Ichigo to catch her by her robe. She dangled there, hanging helplessly as the Soukyoku screamed defiance against the weather.

_This is definitely Kaien's ability… nobody else would be able to manipulate the water in the atmosphere to such a high level! Perhaps Ichigo managed to find the hollow that consumed Kaien, but then it's impossible to use someone else's zanpakuto –_

"Kuchiki. You're thinking way too much about this."

"Kaien-dono?" she managed. "It _is _you, right?" _Either that or this is all one convoluted dream…_

"Uh…" The man holding her winced. "I guess you could say I'm Kaien by proxy? Look, it'd take too long to explain right now and – "

The Soukyoku screamed again, its flames intensifying as it flew towards them.

"Give up already, will you?"

He aimed the trident's end at the phoenix as water began to swirl rapidly, drawing away from the rain.

"Kuufuku Uzu."

There was a horrendous noise of screeching metal as the maelstrom swallowed up the bird. It struggled briefly, its form barely visible inside the sphere of water before it died completely, reverting back into its sealed form as long coils of reishi reached up towards it.

"Huh… it seems Ukitake-taichou managed to make it, after all," he commented over the downpour.

The blade shattered. The rain was beginning to hiss as it fell, turning to steam where it came into contact with Yamamoto's reiatsu.

"Byakuya looks pissed too, for that matter. I guess I might need the help after all…."

Rukia barely had a moment to process exactly what was going on before she was sent flying through the air.

_I'm going to kill that bastard hollow when I get my hands on him again!_


	43. Empress Reign

**A/N:** The alternative emperor sounded terrible. I did briefly consider adding Nejibana's outfit to the bankai, but then that would be extremely traumatic. It _would_ explain why we've never seen Kaien's bankai in canon, though. 8D

Also, totally didn't take the name from Naruto. No siree.

* * *

There wasn't a considerable amount of time in which to improvise. Uryuu's initial plan had been somewhere along the lines of charging in alongside Ichigo, grabbing Rukia Kuchiki and then getting out as fast as possible. It was hardly the best scenario, particularly since it would probably involve facing off with numerous different taichous at some point. However, with the remnants of Mayuri's body, zanpakuto and secondary brain, along with Nemu's considerable assistance, it had been possible to mimic his reiatsu using one of the SRD's more… _experimental_ devices.

_I wonder whether this would earn me a Golden Globe award or something like that for Best Male Actor… although I feel disgusting just wearing this thing. _He scowled, tugging at the bracelet._ Not to mention having Ashogi Jizou in this position isn't exactly comfortable, either._

_Don't worry, _replied Ichigo mentally._ It's not like you'll need it much longer, right? I'm just waiting for the fireworks to start here._

The look of pain in Rukia's eyes had almost made him want to reveal himself, rip off that damned bracelet and tell her that everything would be okay and that it was all just a ploy… except that doing that would likely get him killed as well.

Instead, he kept up the façade, snapping an order for Nemu to keep Rukia quiet.

_I suppose at least I should be thankful that Mayuri acted the same way towards pretty much all of the other taichous… if he'd had any kind of intimate relationships with the others, I wouldn't be able to pull this off._

He casually moved closer to the Soukyoku's scaffold. The strands of the kido surrounding it were just perceptible to him, winding around Rukia's body and lifting her upwards.

Uryuu glanced around, gauging the potential threats. Retsu Unohana had been pointed out as a pacifist, although whether or not she would refuse to fight if he attempted to break the law would be a different matter. Kyoraku Shunsui; laidback, siding with his friend Jyuushirou Ukitake, probably not going to intervene. Byakuya Kuchiki _was_ her family, but given the way that he'd acted when he'd gone to retrieve her, it seemed unlikely that he would act to support him. As for Yamamoto Genryuusai himself… he would uphold the law.

_I might be able to drain some of the reiryoku out of the flame, but it's unlikely I would be able to prevent it from burning me in the meantime._

_Don't worry. I can help with that._

_Wh- _Uryuu's train of thought stopped abruptly as a pitter-patter of rain began to fall, leaving the faintest tingles where it came into contact with his skin.

He glanced around at the others. None of the fukutaichous seemed to have noticed anything much, although in Nemu's case it would have been hard to tell given her excellent poker face.

_Given the way that Unohana-taichou's frowning… it seems she's noticed something's up, at the very least._

The soutaichou scowled, glancing up at the sky as the Soukyoku entered its impressive unsealed form. The intensity of the rain began to increase drastically, cutting visibility down. Uryuu could just about make out three blurs approaching rapidly before he decided it was probably about time to make a move.

_It's not as if anyone will see me in this weather. I just wish I brought an umbrella…_

_What, you didn't pack one in amongst all your secret hidden compartments? I'm disappointed, Uryuu._

He scowled at the trace of mirth in his friend's mental voice, placing his hands against the soaked wood where the kido was thickest.

_Shut up and get on with your part already, will you? _he mentally transmitted, focusing on pulling out the strands of the kidou.

It was _ancient_. The thing was immensely complex, twisting back on itself and moving like a living creature, winding itself around Uryuu's fingers as soon as he made contact with it.

_It's strange… I've never felt anything like this that responds to touch. Most of the other kidou were simple, fixed things… how much time and energy would this have taken to create?_

"Ishida-sama." He tried not to flinch at the sound of Nemu's voice next to his ear. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes. I'm just…" Uryuu reached out, trying to sense where the weak point was before unwinding the kidou. This one was considerably harder to unwind than the others he'd previously encountered, actively resisting his attempt by attempting to burn him with its own reiryoku. It struggled against his efforts before finally coming undone, collapsing in a cascade of blue light.

_Oops. Well… if that wasn't obvious to Yamamoto, then nothing will be – _

A flare of reiatsu caused him to turn around. It wasn't the soutaichou, though; although the downpour prevented him from seeing much, one of the sources was distinguishable as the laidback Shunsui.

_I suppose he's probably helping, given that Rukia belongs to his friend's division – _

There was a screech from above. Uryuu leapt back; a split second later the Soukyoku crashed into the ground in metallic fragments.

The rain began to hiss and turn to steam, the air clearing slightly as Yamamoto Genryuusai began exerting his considerable reiatsu. However, it seemed as if the bulk of his attention was currently on Ukitake and Shunsui, something Uryuu was grateful for.

_Hey, Uryuu!_

_…what? _He glowered up at the figure on the scaffold, attention temporarily diverted from the searing heat emanating from the soutaichou.

_Catch!_

And suddenly there was a midget flying towards him, screaming as she fell.

Uryuu swore briefly before Nemu appeared in front of him, taking the impact. He staggered as he caught her, preventing both shinigami from falling over completely.

"My apologies, Ishida-taichou. I did not have the opportunity to appropriately intercept – "

"Not a problem," he gasped, as he straightened up. "Oh, good, Abarai-san is here." _So is Yasutora, for that matter… and I think the others are approaching too, although I might be mistaken, given the immense reiatsu coming from that direction. They'll be crushed if they come here, though… Not to mention that Unohana and Byakuya Kuchiki are still here, and I still don't know what they intend._

"Kurotsuchi." Byakuya stepped forth, scowling at him. "What have you done?"

_Oh, great. He looks annoyed._

_Uryuu… get going, okay? I can deal with him._

He hesitated, before complying with Ichigo's wishes, dashing off and breaking free of the localised cloudburst. Nemu followed him, a semiconscious Rukia slung over her shoulder as they attempted to make their leave from Soukyoku Hill.

Unfortunately, it seemed that a couple of people had other ideas.

_Two fukutaichous… Isane Kotetsu and Chojirou Sasakibe. The files weren't particularly detailed about their shikai, only that the former is some manner of ice-type and the latter harnesses lightning. Given the storm clouds overhead, that could complicate matters – _

"Kotetsu-san… Please stand down, or I will be forced to hurt you." Nemu's face was completely impassive.

"Kurotsuchi-taichou," began Sasakibe, "if you think I will let you get away with this without a fight – "

Uryuu took unashamed advantage of the situation, using a brief burst of refined hirenkyaku to knock them out cleanly. They both crumpled to the ground.

_That was… underwhelming. Shouldn't there be more to the fight than this?_

_Hey, if they're gonna monologue in front of an enemy, it's their own fault, _Ichigo pointed out._ They should just be grateful you didn't off them or anything – ah damn, one minute – _

_Ichigo?_

_Sorry. Bit busy right now._

* * *

Ichigo Kurosaki was, indeed, busy.

He'd managed to suppress the Soukyoku using Nejibana's Zennyo Ryūō. Shortly after that, Ukitake and Shunsui had both turned up, sealing away the weapon and removing the need for him to destroy it completely. That had been an unexpected plus, but it didn't stop the soutaichou from releasing his reiatsu.

_Ichigo… I may be able to fight Yamamoto, but the flames of Hell are not something that can be quashed so easily. Most likely he would use the intense heat to vaporise my water; the rain is not touching him, even now._

He leapt down. Ukitake's second-in-commands were struggling to breathe under the intense reiatsu exerted, and Shunsui's fukutaichou wasn't faring much better. Byakuya was still standing against the pressure, though.

_I guess we might as well stop with the rain. It's not doing much other than wasting reiryoku I – we – might need later._

_…point taken, _Kaien acknowledged, bringing a halt to the downpour.

"…Shiba-sama…"

_Huh. I guess Unohana-taichou must've left. That's something to be grateful for, at least, _noted Kaien. _Although Sentarou and Kiyone aren't going to last long like this…_

"Well… this is nostalgic," Shunsui murmured. "One last stand, huh…"

Yamamoto spoke up, the illusion of the wood falling from around his zanpakuto.

"Arrogant pups. Do you really think you have the strength to best me?"

"Kaien… I regret having to ask you this after all that's happened, but please… leave this place." Ukitake kept his eyes fixed on the older shinigami. "Take Kiyone, Sentarou and Ise-san with you as well. They don't deserve this fate."

"…I can stand," the fukutaichou gasped, staggering to her feet.

_They're not going to make it out of the area if we don't do something._

"Understood."

He grabbed hold of Kiyone's and Sentarou's collars, slinging Nanao over his shoulder before she could protest, before dashing off in a brief burst of sonido.

Unfortunately, he was not alone in moving. Byakuya had taken advantage of the improved visibility, chasing after him

_Well, crap._

Ichigo assessed the situation, before coming up with the best possible response.

_Wait – you're not actually going to – _Kaien began, horrified at the thought, just as Ichigo hurled all three of his unwitting passengers along the path out of Soukyoku.

_Hey, I think I hit Keigo Asano! Do I get points like in bowling for doing that?_

_You… just threw them… two hundred feet… and you weren't even sure they'd get a soft landing? _the shinigami asked in disbelief.

_I'm pretty sure they're all fairly bouncy, _defended Ichigo as Byakuya came to a halt in front of him._ It's not like they'd die or anything._

Byakuya's eyes narrowed.

"…you again."

"Me, yeah. Who else would it be?"

"What is your name, ryoka?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki… I didn't take you for one of those Eleventh Division guys who has to know the name of everyone they fight, but whatever." Ichigo shrugged carelessly, causing the corner of Byakuya's eye to twitch ever so slightly.

"Rest assured I would not generally indulge in such uncouth practices… it's merely that leaving a fool's grave marker completely blank would be troublesome."

_…wow, I don't think I've seen Byakuya this pissed off since before his wife died._

Ichigo's hand loosened around Nejibana, as Byakuya drew his zanpakuto.

"For someone who would spit on the pride of the Gotei 13… Scatter, Senbonzakura."

The blade split, fragmenting into tiny slivers of metal that whirled on the air.

_He's improved since last time I saw that thing… It's not a problem, though. _Kaien paused slightly. _Not unless he pulls his bankai out, at least. Then we might be pretty screwed._

Ichigo ignored this, instead choosing to use a brief burst of sonido to get out of the way of the onrushing petals. They swerved suddenly, following him rather than crashing into the ground.

"It's useless. The blades of my Senbonzakura will find you, no matter how much you try to evade them." Byakuya's hand moved, following Ichigo's movements as the course of the blades changed yet again to compensate.

_Use Nejibana already!_

_Yeah, I'd try, _snapped Ichigo,_ but he's not giving me much leeway – _

_Oh, for… Look. Let me._

He stepped aside, letting the shinigami take control. The half-complete sonido mutated as he did so, catapulting them thirty feet in an instant.

_Huh, that was actually pretty cool… maybe we should try that again sometime._

Kaien raised Nejibana as Ichigo observed with mild interest. The torrent of metal began to slow down, minute droplets of water condensing on the blades and weighing them down.

Senbonzakura crashed into the ground as Kaien took a mental bow.

_That… is how it's done. Aww, look, he's pouting, it's just like that first time when all the petals dropped to the ground because he couldn't control them! _

_Okay, fine, I'm impressed. You can stop rubbing it in now._

Kaien smirked. "You were saying, Byakuya?"

The expression on the nobleman's face was murderous.

"To spit on the graves of our warriors in such a way… using the zanpakuto of a dead man…" The blades rose again, slowly, as the water slid off the steel. "You should feel honoured to be graced with such a death scene."

"Bankai. Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

The blades split once more, before forming countless swords that rose out of the ground.

_Oh. Well… crap. _Kaien paused._ I think we're going to have to – _

_Kai isn't here. And if you use that, it'll alert everyone in the vicinity – _

_I think they already noticed, given that show earlier. Besides, how much worse can it get?_

Byakuya Kuchiki was torn between curiosity and despisal.

_This child… Ichigo Kurosaki… that technique was not a standard shunpou, not to mention the zanpakuto of the previous fukutaichou of the Thirteenth Division, and the way Ukitake-taichou referred to him… but violating the rules in such a manner – _

Briefly, he wondered what Hisana would say if she had seen this.

"Hey, Byakuya-brat… you remember they had that fuss about the Tenth Division leadership?"

The boy idly adjusted his grip on Nejibana's hilt, twirling it casually in his fingers.

"Ukitake-taichou asked me if I wanted it, but I said no. Would've felt like a betrayal, to be honest, not to mention Miyako… anyway…"

_How would this outsider know about Kaien's life with such intimacy?_

Byakuya decided to move, separating the thousand thousand blades and sending them spiralling towards his opponent as the sky darkened ominously.

"What I'm saying is… it's not 'cause I was underqualified or something. And you're not the only one here with a bankai."

_What?! How can he have achieved – _

Water condensed around Nejibana once more, twisting and causing the light to scatter in odd patterns before enveloping the Kaien-lookalike completely as rain began to fall once more.

"Bankai… Mizukougou Nejibana."

The other man was completely invisible beyond the shroud of rain now, the noise of the roaring water overwhelming any other noise that might have betrayed Ichigo's position.

_This is a serious issue… even in bankai, his reiatsu is somehow imperceptible, where it should be overwhelming. All I can perceive is the reiryoku in the water, and even then – _

Byakuya sent the metal blades spinning outwards on the offchance one of them would find the other man. None met any resistance.

"Seriously, Byakuya, why're you doing this?"

The blades darted towards the source of the noise, passing through the rain without doing any damage.

_If I could just clear some of this rain away… or sense him in some manner, but using Kakushitsuijaku to sense him here would be suicide. He has completely shrouded the battlefield – he would be able to kill me before I was even halfway through the bakudo._

Some of Senbonzakura's blades returned together, forming a sword in his right hand as his left continued to direct the remaining ones on the air. They moved slower than normal, buffeted by the rainstorm, but would serve as a suitable distraction for the time being.

"Hado #58: Tenran."

The composite blade in his hand whirled, generating a tornado that blasted away the water briefly, revealing a brief flicker of orange hair framed with something crimson.

Byakuya needed no further prompting.

"Bakudo #61: Rikujokourou!"

Six bars of light slammed into the startled boy's body, pinning him in place as the onrushing blades closed in. Byakuya felt a brief tinge of regret as they cut into Ichigo's body, drawing blood and slicing through –

And then collapsed as the body subsided into water.

_What happened? I definitely hit – _

"…I really don't get why you're so willing to see your sister dead. I mean… even a monster wouldn't do that."

"The law… even the nobility must not be above the law – " His sentence cut off with a gurgle as water flooded into his mouth and nose.

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean you should just blindly accept it when the law is injust."

Byakuya choked, desparately struggling to cough out the water. Spots began to dance before his eyes as dizziness overcame him, forcing him to his knees –

"You should probably stay down for now… don't worry."

The water retreated from his lungs and throat, leaving him free to gasp for air on the ground.

_That man…_

"Uryuu?! Why're you wearing – "

"No time to explain," replied Uryuu curtly, glancing at Yasutora. _It's good that Sado-san's here… at least I know I can rely on him. _"You said you had a way out?"

Renji blinked. "Well, yeah, I got the key, but – "

"Good. Take Kuchiki-san with you, in that case."

Nemu released Rukia from her grip, allowing the other shinigami to stand up by herself.

_She still seems a little dizzy, but – _

Rukia slapped him.

"You utter _bastard!_"

"…Kuchiki-san – " Nemu made to restrain her, before Uryuu shook his head discreetly.

_It's best if she lets it all out here. Besides, I'm pretty sure I deserved that._

"Rukia?! What're you doi-"

And then she was in his face, screaming at him.

"Do you have _any idea _how I felt when you said that you were – I thought you were worse than dead! What _possessed_ you to pull such a stupid stunt?"

"…okay, I'm utterly confused now," Renji announced, before scowling at the quincy. "Uryuu, what happened?"

_Ugh… that hurt. Why does her voice have to be so high-pitched?_

"I pretended to be Mayuri Kurotsuchi. And for your information, it was the only way I could think of that allowed me to attend the execution without being attacked on sight. Are you happy now?"

Rukia continued to glower at him.

"No… but I can wait until later to beat you up."

_I guess it's an improvement on what I was expecting._

* * *

Mizukougou Nejibana (水皇后 捩花): (lit.) Twisted Flower Water Empress. In bankai, Nejibana's trident is slimmed down to the total length of a short sword, gaining an iridescent sheen whilst retaining the hank of blue fur attached to it. In addition, it also manifests a jagged crown of coral. All of the zanpakuto's original abilities are available in this form, but are considerably empowered due to the use of Zennyo Ryūō. It is also possible to use techniques with much greater finesse.

Mizuchi (蛟). By increasing the water saturation of the air, it can be used to essentially drown a person, flooding their lungs and suffocating them. This technique requires a great deal of precision, more than can normally be achieved without bankai. It is possible to lift the technique before the target is killed by removing the water from the lungs, rendering this technique potentially usable for torture, since repeatedly flooding and draining the target's lungs simulates water-boarding.

Zennyo Ryūō (善女 龍王). This is one of the primary aspects of Kaien Shiba's bankai, and the pinnacle of his shikai. Using this ability, it is possible to use Nejibana to manipulate the weather to a high extent, controlling the water in the atmosphere in order to generate rainclouds and saturate the air in the reverse manner of Zanka no Tachi (although considerably lesser in its effect and area covered, due to the fact that Kaien has not had a bankai for nearly as long as the soutaichou). This makes it considerably easier to use Nejibana's techniques, and considerably boosts their power; however, it takes a great deal of reiryoku in order to use this, and is much more difficult to do so in shikai. In bankai, the rain generated by the technique is heavy enough to be used to conceal the user from sight and sound; the water also retains some of the reiryoku of the user, making it more difficult to perceive them whilst Zennyo Ryūō is in use.

Mizu Bunshin (水 分身): Water Clone. Creates a clone out of water, pretty much what it says on the tin. This takes a great deal of reiryoku, and the clone generated is not capable of complex reasoning or the use of any abilities to the same degree as the original, but it is capable of sustaining injuries in the same way as a real body would. The clone body will last until it is either forcibly dispelled by its creator or destroyed far beyond ability to continue living (e.g. a wound destroying majority of the clone's torso or brain), in which case it will revert to its original water. Due to the nature of the clone, it remains particularly vulnerable to electrical-based attacks. As a highly complex construct, it also requires a great deal of skill to create a realistic-looking clone.


	44. Unmasked

**A/N:** Aizen... oh, Aizen. I feel like cackling madly now. This is only the beginning, too. His PoV turned out a bit more verbose than everyone else, but that's okay because he's enough of an OD guy to do that. And by 'OD', I mean 'omniescent douchebag with a small wiener'.

Also, screw canon!Hougyoku. I am not going to have godmode characters who do not die if their head is blown off completely. I accept that hollows have different physiological needs to that of shinigami, since hollows have freaking massive holes in their bodies, but still, if you have your brain destroyed completely, you've copped it. Finito. No second chances. (Unless you also happen to have Orihime Inoue handy, okay, I'll grant that concession.) Lungs and all other assorted 'vital' organs are debatable, though.

Also also, the chapters after the next proper chapter will be a bit more lighthearted. They feature nonsparkly fake vampires!

**Edit**: A few minor changes, mainly to the fight scene.

* * *

_Gentlemen, we can rebuild her.  
__We have the technology._

- Six Million Dollar Man, misquote

* * *

Soi Fon cursed her luck. She'd felt the destruction of the Soukyoku from the base of the hill, not having been able to climb it quickly enough, and then the great rainstorm had crashed down and completely killed off visibility. She might have thought it an effect of Kyouka Suigetsu's bankai, were it not for the fact that the reiryoku within the droplets was completely different from Aizen's, and the matter of Sousuke Aizen being dead in the first place.

Still, there was nobody alive on the records who possessed a water-type elemental zanpakuto, especially not one of such power. _The only other zanpakuto than Kyouka Suigetsu would be Nejibana, but its wielder died over a decade ago. It would be far too soon for that soul to re-enter the cycle as a shinigami again._

In addition, despite the fact that the rain had left off, she was now soaked to the skin. Soi Fon supposed that the only minor consolation was that Oomaeda had already left; she'd dispatched him to the Central 46 after receiving reports of a disturbance from one of the Onmitskidou members.

_At least I don't have to put up with his whining about all the water –_

A flicker of black and purple, and Soi Fon's senses were on high alert again. She drew Suzumebachi, prepared for an oncoming attack –

"Miss me?"

And then Yoruichi was there. Her old sensei was perched on the branch of a tree with a cocky smirk on her face, and for a brief moment it was as if nothing had changed since that fateful day, as if the Shihoin heiress had never been exiled, as if she'd never left and had simply been waiting for her apprentice to catch up on a stealth exercise -

"Shihoin-sama," she stammered, slipping back into her old role for a brief second before regaining her composure. "To come back here after everything…" _After leaving me behind to run off with that man…_

"Don't expect me to treat you as anything but an enemy!"

To Soi Fon's chagrin, the smirk on her mentor's face widened.

"Then let's see how you've been getting on since I left, little bee."

* * *

Sousuke Aizen felt remarkably at ease with slipping his zanpakuto through Hinamori's ribcage. His plan was the culmination of many decades' worth of work and tireless research, and now… now he could finally shed the mask he had been forced to wear as it came to fruition.

_The girl was a nuisance. At first, I thought that perhaps she could be brought round to help me eventually… however, she is ridiculously sentimental. Nothing more than a liability._

"Ah… ain't that kinda harsh, Aizen-taichou… cuttin' her down like that?"

He shrugged, letting the girl slide off the blade and onto the floor.

"I can only have one _true _fukutaichou. She is an unnecessary spare." Sousuke turned around to face the smiling man behind him.

_Finally, the truth of my dreams can begin to be realised, as Seireitei begins to crumble… and then I will stand on the peak of the world, and all things will change._

"Let's go."

He stepped out of the residential section, only to be greeted by a panting Hitsugaya. The young taichou looked up at him in shock.

_Oh? It seems he was in quite a hurry to chase his friend… this could be interesting._

"Ichimaru… and… Aizen-taichou?"

He raised a hand in a casual greeting, stepping down towards Hitsugaya. The boy appeared obviously shaken.

"How are you… what… are you really Aizen?"

Sousuke shrugged casually. "What you're seeing right now is quite real, I assure you." _Although what you see in a few minutes may not be, I admit, _he added to himself with a mental chuckle at his own joke.

"You're in better shape than I expected you'd be… not to mention, the timing is a little off." He sighed. "Ah well… I suppose we can't have all things our way."

Ichimaru winced. "Ah… sorry 'bout that, Aizen-taichou. Think I mighta overestimated Izuru's lil' diversion."

"…what are you talking about…"

He smiled benevolently at the boy in front of him.

_Really, they called him a prodigy? It seems all you need for that classification these days is an elemental zanpakuto. At least Kaien and Gin warranted the term when they had it._

"We're merely discussing battle stratagem. Don't they teach the importance of splitting up the enemy forces in the school any more?" Aizen sighed overtheatrically. "Evidently standards really have gone down."

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as the young taichou cottoned on to what he was talking about, rushing past into what had once been the residential section.

_Finally, he cottons on._

Aizen waited patiently. A few seconds later, the temperature dropped several degrees as ice began to spread downwards from the steps. Hitsugaya reappeared in the doorway, Hinamori cradled in his arms.

_That expression of mixed fury and hatred… it almost makes up for all the kowtowing from before. Ah… such a refreshing sensation, especially combined with his reiatsu…_

"You _bastards,_" he snarled at them. "Which one of you did this? What did she ever do to you?"

"Well…" Aizen paused, savouring the dramatic moment. "It was more that she was a failed experiment, I'd say. As of now, she has no further use to me. Although it's awkward that you found her." He smirked, beginning to exert Kyouka Suigetsu's ability as the temperature dropped even further. "I suppose I should have incinerated the body completely, or diced her so she became unrecognisable – "

Hitsugaya snapped, an explosion of ice rushing outwards, encrusting the inside of the building. Glacial flowers bloomed on the air, just visible in the mist.

"Bankai: Daiguren Hyourinmaru."

The boy's face was twisted into a vicious snarl, ice claws gripping the hilt of his zanpakuto.

"For what you did to Hinamori… I'm going to kill you, Aizen."

He sighed, his breath condensing in the frigid air. "Hitsugaya-kun, you really shouldn't make such ridiculous threats… it only makes you seem even weaker than you already are." He casually drew his zanpakuto, unseen.

The boy's only response was to roar, before lunging for the illusory copy of Sousuke Aizen, his blade leaving a trail of crystallised water where it passed.

_How absurd… a dragon, snarling and clawing at the reflection of the moon. One might think that he had the sense to think before moving, at least. He has at least _some _idea of my zanpakuto's powers, even if it is mainly false – he should at least consider the possibility of the use of my zanpakuto, but no. Instead, enraged, he rushes on headfirst, and onto his death._

It was ridiculously easy to cut down the boy, but then the fight was hardly a fair one. Aizen briefly wondered what Hitsugaya's face would look like if he caused the boy to cut down his childhood friend within the illusion.

_Well, I suppose it will have to be an experiment for later, if he survives… which he should, given that Retsu-san is approaching._

"Seeing ice at this time of the year is rather refreshing, but nonetheless, we should be making our move. Shall we depart, Gin?"

"Yeah… wouldn' wan' everyone t'get disappointed, righ'?"

_I wonder what he really thinks underneath that expression…_

The door swung open once more, revealing a single sillouhette. "I thought you might be here, Aizen-taichou."

"Unohana-taichou," he greeted warmly, with a benevolent smile in place.

_Her bankai is an unknown, although given the nature of her shikai, it most likely possesses healing abilities. It would be wise not to be presumptious, though, given that she is an unknown variable. She might have made an excellent ally, were it not for the fact that she is a pacifist and would undoubtedly side with the soutaichou._

The medic frowned as she approached him, alone.

"No… perhaps 'treacherous reprobate' would be more appropriate a title for you than 'taichou' now."

_Touché. _"Thank you, Unohana-taichou. I thought I felt your approach… was it easy to figure out?"

Retsu shrugged. "There is hardly an overabundance of places that go entirely unchecked by shinigami. Given that you faked your death, even going so far as to create a corpse doll in order to fool us, it would only be natural that you choose the safest place to hide afterwards – here, where entrance to all outsiders is forbidden."

He smirked. "An excellent deduction, Unohana-taichou, but nonetheless I have to correct you on two minor matters with your theory. Firstly, I was not 'hiding'. And secondly…" He focused, bringing the illusion of the dead body into existence in his hand as Retsu's eyes widened. "This isn't a corpse doll."

"The only thing that could generate an illusion to such a high degree…" Her eyes narrowed again. "An illusion, but not a kidou-generated one; I would have detected that. Only a zanpakuto – " She looked up at him in sudden understanding. "Kyouka Suigetsu. You were lying all this time, then?"

"You're faster than I thought you would be," Aizen noted. _Nonetheless, there is nothing you can do to defend against it now. _"However, once you have perceived the ritual for the illusion once, there is nothing you can do to prevent my use of it another time. Although I _will_ admit some minor curiosity as to how you noticed."

"There is no kidou-generated illusion that would be able to fool all my senses to such a high degree, especially since your reiryoku was mimicked exactly. If that had been used, then the deception would have been far more obvious. Most people who were unfamiliar with you would have failed to notice the discrepancy completely, and would have been more concerned with the nature of the wounds on the body." She glanced at him. "As it was, there was only one minor detail that was off about the illusion, and I would not have noticed it were I not the one who conducted your physical examination."

_What?_

"You have an aggrandised perception of yourself, Sousuke-san," Retsu clarified mildly.

_…I retract my idea of making her into an ally. I am going to have to utterly humiliate this woman once I get round to razing the Seireitei completely. Turning her over to Szayel Apporo Granz for experimentation, for starters; I'm sure he will be overjoyed to have free rein with a subject that possesses bankai._

Ichimaru snickered quietly in the background as Aizen controlled himself, restraining his anger and preventing it from showing on his face. "Nonetheless, it makes no difference now. Every seated officer in the Seireitei has seen the ritual; it barely requires any effort for me to take over their senses completely again, once they have watched it."

"…to see it… then – "

"Yes." He smirked vindictively, beginning the mental incantations for Sentan Hakuja unseen. "From the beginning, Kaname Tousen has always been my subordinate."

The whirling white cloths formed around himself and Ichimaru.

_She won't intervene. Her focus will be on Hinamori and Hitsugaya._

"Farewell, Unohana-taichou… rest assured we won't be meeting again."

* * *

Marechiyo Oomaeda was in a hurry for once.

_Dammit, why does everyone have to be fighting right now... not to mention this whole setup sucks. Having to go protect the Central 46? There's no way anyone could break into there, not unless they had permission beforehand, not even the taichous could just walk in there without being called -_

The door was wide open, the guards outside collapsed on the floor and sound asleep, quite obviously under the effects of some kido. Frigid air billowed out from within.

_Okay, that's a really bad sign. _He glanced from side to side nervously. _Isn't there someone else that can deal with this? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified and all, I'm only a fukutaichou and secondary head of the Onmitskidou... okay, so maybe I'm _meant _to be qualified, but people breaking into the top security headquarters of government? That's got nothing to do with -_

"Oomaeda-fukutaichou," came a voice from within.

He edged away from the open door, suddenly sweating. _Oh shit shit shit that's Unohana-taichou -_

"If I could have your assistance, please? The future of the Seireitei hangs in the balance. Under other circumstances I would enlist Kotetsu-san's assistance, but regrettably she is unavailable..."

The fukutaichou edged nervously through the door. It was dark, although the pillars within were rimed with ice that reflected some of the light from the door, and made it possible to dimly make out forty-six slumped figures at their seats above, as well as the dark stains on those seats.

_You know, I really wish I hadn't seen that now._

He squinted. The taichou of the Fourth Division was just visible in the gloom, at the entrance to another room further within.

_What's she crouched over... and why's all this ice around?_

Unohana bent over, her hands glimmering with the pale green of healing kidou. "If you could please first locate Aizen-san, and then contact all members of the Gotei 13 in addition to the ryoka with a message?"

Marechiyo blinked. "Huh?"

There was a faint sigh as the woman lowered her hands to a body. "I trust your kidou skills are sufficient for the use of a Kakushitsuijaku and Tenteikūra?"

"Well, yeah, but..." He hesitated. "Aizen-taichou's dead." _Right?_

"Regrettably, that would not seem to be the case." She turned towards him, causing him to flinch. "We have been betrayed by Kaname-san and Ichimaru-san as well. I'd appreciate it if you could alert everyone sooner rather than later, though. I would assist, but unfortunately Hinamori-san and Hitsugaya-taichou are in critical condition at the moment."

He winced. "Of course."

_Great, now I get stuck with the one taichou who creeps me out more than my own..._

* * *

_You know, I think they're doing just fine on their own._

Ichigo was watching from the back seat of his soul as Kaien temporarily commandeered his body. Both he and the other combatants had left Soukyoku Hill long since, due to the highly destructive nature of Yamamoto's reiryoku when awakened. The shinigami had requisitioned his zanpakuto's Zennyo Ryūō to cause a rainstorm, but even with the increased moisture in the air, much of it was being evaporated off by the heat emanating from Ryuujin Jakka's shikai.

_If Ukitake-taichou has a fit, that won't be the case, _argued Kaien. _Besides, if it wasn't raining then everything nearby would get incinerated! And then I'd have even more paperwork to come back to if they ever found out, and they'd drag me back to being a fukutaichou no matter what it took to get me out of your soul... there's actually a rule in the laws of the Gotei 13 that says you can't leave unless you're arrested, go senile, die, or get promoted to the Royal Guard. I'd still end up having to deal with it!_

_...you sure you've got your priorities right?_

* * *

Rukia was in a crabby mood. Not only had she been dropped ignominously from the Soukyoku, she was now being lugged around like a sack of potatoes. The fact that the person currently doing the carrying was the man who had been her closest friend for several decades did nothing to alleviate matters.

_Well… I suppose being jostled by Renji's angular shoulders is an improvement on being dead, at least, _she thought sourly as the street blurred past them. Sado was lagging behind a little, apparently unused to maintaining near-shunpou speed for long periods of time.

"Not too much farther – "

Renji stopped abruptly, causing Rukia to lurch forwards unpleasantly.

_What –_

Nemu dashed forward as Tousen's hand fell, but it was too late to prevent the completion of the kidou. He batted her aside out of its circle of effect, sending her flying into Sado just before the white whirls of cloth descended about them, enclosing them entirely for a brief second before vanishing again to reveal an entirely different scene.

_We're back at the Soukyoku… but why would Tousen-taichou bring us here?_

"…It's been a while, hasn't it, Abarai-kun?"

Rukia blinked, staring at the figure in front of her.

_Aizen-taichou?! But… didn't they say that he was dead?_

The man was smiling benevolently as Tousen stepped to his side, accompanied by –

"Ichimaru-taichou… what the hell?" Renji spoke up, an incredulous expression on his face as he let Rukia slide to the ground.

"'nother Quincy, huh… it's been a while since I saw one o' ya guys." The man's grin split even wider.

Aizen's gaze turned towards Uryuu, interest apparently piqued. "Hmm? So you're Uryuu Ishida…"

_If Ichimaru-taichou is with him… but Tousen-taichou too, why would –_

"What do you want?" Uryuu asked bluntly, scowling.

"Step aside from Rukia Kuchiki," said Tousen quietly, blind eyes turned towards the group of three. "This is none of your concern."

Renji scowled fearsomely. "Like hell that's true. I just got her outta this damn execution, and now you're telling me to just give her up?"

Aizen stepped forwards, still smiling pleasantly.

_The look on his face… even though he appears friendly, why do I still get the same sort of feeling that comes from Ichimaru-taichou?_

"You always were the difficult one, weren't you, Abarai-kun?"

Renji drew Zabimaru, adjusting his grip on the zanpakuto. "What the hell's that meant to mean?"

"Exactly what it does. Now, put down Kuchiki-san and step aside. Otherwise… I can't promise you'll keep your arms."

_No. There's been enough death because of me._

Rukia spoke up quietly. "Step aside, Renji."

He turned towards her, his face furious. "Like hell I will! You got _any idea _how much shit I went through to save you? I'm not dumping you just because a taichou says so – "

"An admirable sentiment." Aizen smiled at her amiably, causing a brief flicker of hope to flare in her chest. "Gin?"

One blue eye flickered open lazily, turning towards the senior taichou. "Mhm?"

"Kill him."

A brief flicker of steel, and a screech as Shinsou's tip slid off Zabimaru's edge. The force of the blow had driven Renji into a crouch, but he was uninjured.

"You bastard... I'm not gonna let Rukia die as long as I can still breathe!" Renji raised his zanpakuto, pushing Shinsou away again. "Bankai: Hihio Zabimaru!"

_He gained bankai?_!

Tousen's hand reached down, drawing Suzumushi and sweeping it through the air even as the Baboon King reared up.

"Suzumushi Nishiki: Benihikō."

The single blade multiplied before Rukia's horrified eyes, splitting into hundreds of blades before slamming down into the bone-white bankai. She raised her arms up in a pitiful attempt to protect herself from the attack, just before everything went dark.

A muffled sound, and then the light returned once more. Aizen was standing in front of her, Uryuu crumpled over at his feet. Renji had not fared much better; her friend had been pinned to the ground by Suzumushi's long blades, and was bleeding out on the floor.

_That... he chose to use a kidou to protect me rather than himself..._

"As nostalgic as it is to see a Gritz once more... enough of this."

She tried to scramble backwards away from Aizen, before being locked in place by a silent kidou.

"Do you have any idea how long it took to bait Kisuke Urahara into making a move? I do have to admit, though... his creations are all works of art." Aizen removed a small glass vial from underneath his haori, inspecting it with a critical eye before turning back to her. "After all, creating a device that could permit a soul to become transcendent, breaking down the barriers between shinigami and hollow... it would be a travesty if I were to let such an item be destroyed."

"What are you talking about?" she whispered.

Aizen smirked slightly. "He didn't tell you, then... I suppose that's no surprise. Several hundred years ago, Kisuke Urahara created something that would permit a shinigami to exceed their natural limits. Normally," he continued, "one can only gain so much skill and power in certain abilities, and then no more, but by the process of hybridisation, he discovered it was possible to create a being with exceptional power. It's the reason he was exiled, after all - or, at least, part of it." Aizen shrugged. "I did need a scapegoat when _my_ initial experiments were discovered, after all. But eventually, he lost his patience, chose to seal the Hougyoku away within a shinigami, and then send both to be destroyed by the only thing he felt that could do so."

_...the Soukyoku... Urahara-san was just using me to have this thing destroyed?_

"Such a terrible waste... it's just as well he left behind the method to retrieve it again."

The glass vial shattered in his hand, spreading to form a greenish coating that rose up from the ground. Aizen hoisted Rukia up by her collar, causing her to dangle helplessly as the shinigami's hand entered her chest.

_I'm not dead?_

He retracted his hand, pulling out a small purplish sphere apparently encased within crystal as the hole in Rukia's chest closed over once more, leaving no trace.

"Fascinating... there's no damage to the host whatsoever. Truly the work of a genius - "

There was a brief flicker of movement, and then Uryuu's hand was clamped tightly around Aizen's foot.

"_I'm not done yet._" Black tendrils began to creep across the sclera of his eyes as his grip tightened with an audible crunch.

The only visible change in Aizen's demeanour was a tightening of his expression, before he lifted his other foot, lashing out with a sharp crack against Uryuu's skull. The Quincy's grip relaxed immediately, his head falling down as he slumped, unconscious.

"Gin. Kill him."

"Aye aye, taichou." The silver-haired taichou gave a mock salute, before the blade flicked out once more.

"No!"

A sickening sound, of metal meeting flesh.

_Uryuu… no, he can't be dead, _Rukia prayed silently,_ he wouldn't – _

"Huh… Nemu? That's pretty unexpected."

Rukia opened her eyes once more.

_Nemu is here?_

The daughter of Mayuri Kurotsuchi was there, pushed downwards into a kneeling position with a zanpakuto's hilt in her right hand, its blade broken off with the force of Shinsou's blow. Rukia stared, horrified, at Shinsou as it retracted itself, coming free of the ground and the girl's chest. A pale greenish fluid leaked out of Nemu's body, spilling out into the ground as she collapsed.

"Evidently Kurotsuchi's work was less hardy than I anticipated," Aizen noted, nudging the corpse with one toe. "Nonetheless, must you _really _be so slow, Ichimaru?"

Ichimaru grinned unrepentantly. "Sorry, Aizen-taichou. Got kinda distracted fer a moment."

_"Hello? Hello, is this thing working?"_

Rukia blinked, startled by the sound of Oomaeda's voice in her head.

_What's going on – _

_"Errr... yeah, this is a message to all the current ranked members of the Gotei 13... also the ryoka who broke in, if you're still around, this is Marechiyo Oomaeda from the Second Division, fukutaichou and second-in-command of the Onmitskidou. Basically... this is an emergency message from Unohana-taichou, it turns out that Aizen, Tousen and Ichimaru've all defected, they're on the Soukyoku Hill at the moment - What? Yeah, this isn't some kind of prank – "_

"Ah… it seems we've been found out."

A vast shadow loomed overhead, before a great sword swung down, mimicking the movements of the fox-headed shinigami just behind it. Aizen lifed up one hand, a bored expression on his face as the weapon slammed into his palm impotently.

_Who is that? I'm sure I'd know if I'd met them before… an haori? No wonder Komamura-taichou kept his face covered, if that's him._

"Aizen… what have you done?" the taichou growled, yellow eyes narrowing at the scene before him.

The former taichou seemed mildly amused by the assault. "Merely taking the path to a greater form of being. Tousen and Ichimaru have simply chosen to follow me in this."

"Kaname?" The fox's head swivelled to face the blind taichou who was standing there impassively, only to be enveloped by black lines rising up from the ground as a Kurohitsuji swallowed him entire.

Ichimaru whistled, impressed. "A level 90 hadou without incantation… that's scary, Aizen-taichou."

"Hardly… it barely reached even a third of its intended power." Aizen turned back to Rukia, gazing down at her impassively as the hadou slid away, revealing the battered form of Komamura once more. The giant collapsed, slumping over onto the ground.

_No… I can't even move under the weight of this reiatsu to help anyone…_

"Aizen-sama." Tousen turned his blind eyes towards his leader. "We have more guests."

"Too right you do."

With a flicker of shunpou, Soi Fon had her shikai released and at Aizen's throat, along with a dark-skinned woman that Rukia didn't recognise. Byakuya had arrived as well, managing to entrap Tousen with a well-placed Sajou Sabaku before holding his Senbonzakura against his bare neck.

Gin began to move, only to raise his hands in mock submission as Rangiku drew her zanpakuto on him.

"Damn… looks like we're all caught here," he commented blithely, turning towards his apparent leader. "Sorry 'bout that, Aizen-taichou."

"Gin… why would you do this?"

Ichimaru's smile looked a little forced this time as he looked at Matsumoto. "Ah… nothin' more than business."

"Rukia." Byakuya glanced at his adoptive sister, not quite meeting her gaze. "You're safe."

She coughed slightly, struggling to push herself up off the ground. _Even if they've been captured, the reiatsu here is still overwhelming… it feels so ominous. And I can't believe that three taichous would be captured so easily…_

* * *

_Uryuu?_

Silence.

_Uryuu… seriously, open up. Talk to me. Uryuu. _Uryuu. _You're not dead._

The link is still intact, fragile, a thread of light, but weakened.

_To mar a sacred thing…_

There is a weight in his hand, and a name he has heard before.

_Sousuke Aizen._

_…Ichigo? You need to calm down – _

_I am perfectly calm. _He stood, reaching out to his body. _I know exactly what I want to do now._

_If they find out… they'll kill you._

_Oh, I have no intention of hiding any more, Shiba-san._

He regained control, coming to his senses again. There were many people, but only three things mattered.

One: There was a pleasant-faced, bespectacled, brown-haired man that one of the shinigami had just referred to as 'Sousuke Aizen'.

Two: There was a small plush lion, clinging anxiously to a teenager's shoulder.

Three: His one and only nakama was bleeding out on the floor.

_Being confined like this for so long… surpressing my own power…_

"I-Ichigo?"

_For the sake of one person._

"This is… intriguing. I might even go so far as to say… potentially dangerous."

"Ichigo, _no!_"

It took pathetically little effort to retrieve and squeeze the soul pill out of its soft vessel, before he stood free of the fake form, reiatsu fully unleashed before all the shinigami arrayed before him. Some of them were pushed to the ground; others drew their weapons, as though he were a threat that they could somehow hold a hope of defending against. There were a few with the power to stand against him, but he dismissed them.

"Ichigo Kurosaki. It seems that the rumours _were _true after all, then."

He snarled, blades exposed as he lunged for the hatefully calm face, the cause of every wrong that had ever taken place and the lifeblood spilling onto the ground. The trident was abandoned, the voice that had accompanied it deafened in the scream of bloodlust and desire to _rip tear shred maim_

_do not fear for yourself, do not step back for yourself, do not fall and die for yourself_

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

* * *

"Ichigo, _no!_"

Yoruichi's cry went unheeded.

The rest of the shinigami acted much as Aizen had anticipated, gasping with shock or drawing their weapons as soon as Ichigo Kurosaki revealed himself. The mod soul who had taken the hollow's place in the gigai was cowering abjectly, attempting to back away before colliding with a small group of ryoka – _probably some of Uryuu's allies, unknowing of the true identity of their companion, _he added mentally.

Soi Fon and Yoruichi both maintained their hold on him, although the former seemed to be struggling under the pressure. Byakuya had let go of Tousen completely, trusting in his kidou to hold the man for the time being – _foolish in the extreme – _and Rangiku Matsumoto had been forced to the ground.

Black-gold eyes glowered at him from behind the mask, an ominous snarl emerging from between bared teeth.

_That foolishness is what gets all hollows killed… and I can't have that here. Not with the other shinigami so ready and willing to slaughter him – it would put such a setback in my plans if he were to die now… no, I think I have the time to conduct a little… _experiment.

His lips curled slightly upwards into a smile, taking advantage of Soi Fon's distraction to slip one hand into his pocket for his latest acquisition. Urahara's Hougyoku had been sealed for decades,and the artefact retained only faint vestiges of what Aizen suspected would be its full power, but nonetheless, that fraction would suffice for the moment.

The crystalline tendrils of the Hougyoku curled around his fingers, eager to serve its new master's purpose.

"Aizen," Yamamoto growled, narrowing his eyes at the traitor. "Have you really fallen so low as to ally yourself with such beasts?"

"Hardly 'fallen' so much as ascended. If you're so close-minded as to ignore potential where it's seen… then that is your own folly."

Ichigo had apparently reached a decision as to his target, tensing before darting towards Aizen in a burst of sonido. The blades on the hollow's arms were fully unsheathed; Soi Fon recoiled even as Yoruichi let go completely in order to defend her ex-subordinate. Byakuya had released his shikai now, a thousand petals fluttering in the wind whilst Yamamoto's favourite students made their move.

_You have to applaud that boy's foolishness. Does he really think his shikai stands a chance against a Vasto Lorde?... although it is interesting to see the released forms of Katen Kyotetsu and Sogyou no Kotowari._

All of them were ignored completely by Ichigo in favour of attempting to gore Aizen with the long horns on the mask. The latter dodged, only for a bone-white blade to come dangerously close to slashing open his stomach.

_Evidently he has every intention of ripping me to shreds._

Gold eyes narrowed behind the half-mask, before the blades began to shimmer with a crimson light.

_Curious... he inherited that ability from his father? It's fascinating that he doesn't need to have a zanpakuto to use it directly, though -_

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

Twin crescents of energy arced towards him at terrifying speed. He managed to use a brief burst of shunpou to dodge out of the way. Ichigo roared in frustration as the attacks slammed into the ground, carving up the rock and resulting in an ominous cracking sound. The stability of the ground was the least of Aizen's worries, though; the hollow was already readying a second pair of Getsugas in the blades, pressing the attack once more -

And then the hougyoku activated, its violet strands spiralling outwards from Aizen's left hand before wrapping tightly around the hollow's body. The creature within struggled and thrashed in a futile attempt to break free, but to no avail.

_Hmmm… the process seems to be exquisitely painful for the entity involved, _he mused as the other shinigami froze in horror. _It'll be amusing to see their reactions when it is complete – _

"You bastard!"

Aizen was forced to sidestep a second time, dodging a punch from Yoruichi. The ex-leader of the Onmitskidou took no time in resuming the assault, attempting to pummel him with a barrage of shunpou-reinforced blows. It might have even done some damage were it not for the fact that he had moved, and was now standing three feet away from Yoruichi whilst she assaulted thin air.

The heiress's actions broke the other standing shinigami out of their horrified reverie once more, although the majority of them seemed uncertain as to what to do.

"Brats… get back." Yamamoto levelled his zanpakuto, causing the air to ripple with a heatwave. "Reduce all creation to ash, Ryuujin Jakka."

_Now would be an excellent time to leave, I think._

Right on cue, the sky above him rippled open, revealing a yawning void beyond as three shafts of light dropped down. One of them enclosed him, before rising, taking him with it.

"Negacion… What have you done, Aizen?" spoke up Ukitake, who seemed visibly shaken at the true identity of Ichigo Kurosaki. "To ally yourself with hollows… why would you do such a thing? You have nothing whatsoever to gain from it…"

Aizen shrugged nonchalantly, unfussed by the Gillians massing overhead. "I was dissatisfied with the nature of things as they are. Isn't it right to seek change, if such a system exists where permanent damnation is possible for the briefest of mistakes, or if souls are left to suffer in misery through no fault of their own?"

He took a breath, removing the accursed glasses from his face before gazing down at the recumbent figure of Ichigo Kurosaki, far below now.

_If the life of a child must be forfeit for the sake of a god fearful of its own creations… then that god does not deserve to exist._

"I will ascend, and fill the aching emptiness of the throne of heaven."

A piercing scream erupted from the chrysalis, causing the Gillians above to stop their aimless milling. The negacion hung in midair for a few brief moments, before cracks began to appear over the golden surface.

_What – _

The protections shattered entirely, causing the rising stone platforms to crash down once more and forcing Aizen to make a leap for it. A wave of flame rippled outwards from the Soutaichou's blade, reaching upwards hungrily to burn him to a crisp.

The garganta slammed shut just after all three of them had made it through, snuffing out a single tendril of flame that had followed them into the darkness. Sousuke Aizen let out a silent sigh of relief.

"Come… let's go onwards to the new world."

* * *

_And, far away now, an oversized manta ray swoops down as small figures are carried off the hill into quiet, secure places deep below the ground…_

* * *

**Current character statuses!**

**Dead:** Mayuri Kurotsuchi x 2 (spare brain destroyed, normal brain also destroyed), Nemu Kurotsuchi (destroyed and currently unfunctional, however not beyond repair), assorted 12th Division persons

**Grieviously injured:** Uryuu Ishida, Toushirou Hitsugaya, Momo Hinamori, Renji Abarai, Komamura

**Arrancarised:** Ichigo Kurosaki

**Imprisoned (2nd or 4th Division, as appropriate):** All ryoka, other than Yoruichi

**Betrayed Gotei 13: **Kaname Tousen, Sousuke Aizen, Gin Ichimaru


	45. Interarc I: A Brief Interlude

**A/N:** First, I'd like to apologise for the extreme delay. At first, I meant to update after a couple of weeks, much in the way that had been going on previously, but then I got a job and after that life decided to hit me like a box of sledgehammers. Or those lumps of blue ice you get that break your car windscreen without warning, only for you to find out that it's actually a massive chunk of frozen excrement. (That's an actual thing, by the way.)

I will be continuing further with TWiBaW, although I can't promise regular updates for the time being. I hope this interlude is satisfactory for the time being, though. There are a ridiculous number of plot bunnies following me around, some of which involve assorted eldritch Lovecraftian abominations that enjoy making dresses and Keigo's sister and Mizuiro being badasses, others which involve badass angels, Szayel having a slightly better reason for being insane, the most awesome computer hacker on the planet, and some other junk I won't bother you with at this time.

Also, it is ridiculously hard to write someone who a) you have never seen for longer than two/three episodes, and that over a year ago b) was part of a filler arc and c) you don't actually care much about in the first place. At least Rin was _amusing._

Also also I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or outraged that Tite Kubo got round to writing his bit of plotkai before I managed to incorporate something similar but with actual reasoning behind it. Uryuu is mad that he is no longer everyone's favourite Quincy.

* * *

_Five forms wait in the shadows, one raising something pale up to the sky in the ruins of the tower…_

_A child, weeping, screams out for his brother, struggling to break out of his father's restraining grip as the older boy is led away by black-clad figures…_

_A boy with silver hair watches on silently, blue eyes wide, unnoticed as the smiling shinigami ambassador cuts down the guards around a tent. It burns to the ground, sending white smoke into the air as cries of hollows echo, drawn forth from the Menos no Mori by the scent…_

* * *

_For the sake of a fearful god, we sacrifice that child, this gift, over and over again…_

_For the sake of that one child, that false creature cowering in its throne will be torn down, so that the eternal cycle may be broken…_

_For the sake of you, I will end it all._

* * *

Uryuu wished that the white hospital ceiling wasn't quite so depressingly familiar by this point. It seemed to have become a staple of his life, from the very first time he'd decided that he was going to sneak out in the middle of the night to build a 6-foot-tall snowman in the park. The resulting bout of flu from his antics had lasted for a good week and a half.

_Great… now I have to listen to Ryuuken lecturing me about my health again. My chest hurts, too..._

"Ah… good morning…"

He blinked as a dark-haired blur moved briefly before his vision.

_That's not the – wait, the last thing I remember was being on Soukyoku Hill and trying to stop that man, Aizen. So what's happened since then?_

"Uh, your glasses are by the side, but they said we have to keep you down here for the time being… are you thirsty?"

"Not right now." Uryuu frowned, squinting in an attempt to make out the features of the person in front of him. "Who are you?"

"I'm Hanatarou… I'm from the Fourth Division, actually. They assigned me to look after you for the time being since you were unconscious for a while, but everything's a bit messed up at the moment, given that three taichous just left the Gotei 13." There was a brief pause. "They're not really sure what to do with all the ryoka, actually…"

He felt a brief surge of panic. "What?" _If they all got caught... especially Ichigo, the shinigami would kill him in a heartbeat –_

_Calm down already, Uryuu. _Ichigo's mental voice was more subdued than normal. _It's fine. Besides… I think they've got a lot of problems right now. They're not going to just off everyone for breaking into the Seireitei! Well… except for me, and even then only maybe._

_Not reassuring, Kurosaki._

Hanatarou shifted slightly, apparently uncomfortable. "Actually, I think that they said Soi Fon-taichou would be coming to escort you as soon as you woke up… I'm meant to let them know when you've recovered."

Uryuu sat up, frowning. "What? Why would they want to – "

"Uhm. The people from Twelfth Division said you were officially a taichou?"

_Oh god. I still can't believe everyone actually followed a rule like that._

He blinked as a thought occurred to him.

"Wait a minute," he said, slowly. "Does that mean that I can have a say in what happens to the other ryoka?"

"Er… probably not. I think the taichous have to be officially instated, not to mention that normally that sort of decision would go through Central 46… but they're all dead at the moment, so the Soutaichou is probably handling it instead?" This last was said with a measure of uncertainty.

_That sounds ominous._

There was a click as the door swung open, revealing a black-and-white-clad figure.

"He is awake?"

"Y-yes, but I haven't – I mean, we haven't checked to make sure he's completely recovered – " Hanatarou stammered, before being interrupted by the female shinigami.

"That won't be necessary. He will be coming with me now."

Uryuu attempted to stand up off the bed, only to realise that his wrists were chained to the bed by some odd whitish metal. His heart skipped a beat briefly before his fingers brushed against the cool silver of his Quincy bracelet, hidden beneath the white sleeve of the hospital gown.

_Thank god they didn't take that off me. Or perhaps nobody realised what it was… either way, the situation isn't so bad, although these cuffs seem to be blocking my abilities for the moment. If I could just get them off –_

There was a click, the other end of the cuffs unlatching to allow him to move more freely.

"Stand up."

The voice was clinical, cold. Uryuu followed the instruction automatically, surveying what little he could make out of his new captor.

_She's shorter than I expected… I suppose this must be Shaolin Fon, head of Onmitskidou and Second Division, given the description Nemu gave me before._

"Follow me."

Hanatarou pressed something into Uryuu's hand. He raised it up to his face for closer inspection, before realising what the object was.

"Thanks," he commented, replacing his glasses and bringing the world back into focus. Hanatarou smiled nervously at him.

_Maybe he's related to Rin… they look quite similar…_

"Come on," Soi Fon snapped at him curtly, gesturing towards the door.

A masked shinigami awaited them outside, leading the way through a mazelike complex of corridors. Medics hurried by, some of them pushing trolleys of assorted medical and surgical tools Uryuu vaguely recognised from history books, others carrying stacks of paperwork or wheeling IV stands. Some of them openly stared as they went past; he supposed that it wasn't exactly common for a foreign taichou to escort someone.

Soi Fon swung open a door, letting in bright daylight as Uryuu shielded his eyes. In comparison to the pale striplights inside the building, the sunlight was obnoxiously bright, searing his retinas and giving him a headache.

_How long was I unconscious for? _he wondered, glancing around as he trailed his new captor. _It looks like spring, but then it might have been springtime before. There aren't really many green spaces around here to be able to tell… do they even have seasons in the Seireitei?_

"Don't even think about trying to escape," the taichou commented brusquely, apparently taking Uryuu's interest in his surroundings as an attempt to get away. "There are fifteen members of the elite cadre of my Onmitskidou shadowing you at the moment. You wouldn't make it a single foot before they struck you down."

"I wasn't," he protested. "I just… is Rukia alright?"

Soi Fon gave him an unreadable look. "Miss Kuchiki is currently recuperating in the Fourth Division headquarters. Rest assured that her fate is rather more tenable than your own."

"So… they're not going to have her executed, then."

She pursed her lips, taking a right turn before stopping in front of a building. "It has been discovered that certain orders _apparently_ given by Central 46 were… falsified in order to further goals that were against the interests of the Seireitei. Nonetheless, that is irrelevant to you now."

The doors to the building swung open.

"Enter."

Mouth suddenly dry, Uryuu stepped inside.

There were several taichous already there, arrayed in the manner of a court with an elderly-looking man heading the entire proceedings at a desk. He knew better than to judge Yamamoto Genryuusai by appearances, though; even with the limiting cuffs on, the reiatsu in the room was still tangible.

_Or maybe that's just Zaraki Kenpachi, _he thought, glancing at the giant man. There was a faint jingle of bells as the taichou turned towards him, leering in a rough approximation of a grin. Uryuu wasn't entirely sure whether that was meant to be a sign of approval or a 'wait until later so I can gut you'; it was quite probable that they were both represented by the same facial expression, given what information Nemu had given him of the other taichous.

_Nemu. Come to think of it, where is she?_

There were other taichous there; a great fox-headed man (or perhaps wolf-headed, it was hard to tell) that was probably Sajin Komamura without the helmet. Kyoraku Shunsui's distinctive pink haori was there, too, although it was difficult to see his expression due to the shadow cast by his straw hat. Jyuushirou Ukitake gave him a friendly smile, though; he seemed somewhat pale, but still reasonably healthy. Most of that, he supposed, was probably due to the ministrations of Retsu Unohana, whose serene smile was somewhat unsettling.

_Toushiro Hitsugaya is missing… perhaps he was badly injured in the fight._

The doors swung shut behind him, Soi Fon silently slipping past and into place beside the soutaichou.

Yamamoto rapped his cane against the floor, causing Kyoraku's head to jerk upwards guiltily.

_Well… Nemu did mention that Shunsui was fairly lazy, but actually nodding off whilst waiting for a meeting? I mean, seriously –_

"As most of you are aware, this meeting has been called to discuss the issue of the ryoka." The soutaichou levelled a severe glare at Uryuu. "What is your name, child?"

* * *

"Uryuu Ishida. Sir."

Kyoraku stole a look at the boy from underneath the rim of his hat. Skinny, check; blue eyes, check; black/navy hair the more poetically inclined might describe as 'raven', check; terribly shortsighted – he supposed the boy's glasses would have to do. There was probably some kind of cosmic joke going on at the expense of the Quincy, given the most powerful of their kind always seemed to be incapable of reading a book unless either a) they were wearing some kind of sight aid, or b) it was shoved two inches under their nose.

In short, the boy was practically a carbon copy of his namesake, if not the man himself reincarnated.

_And wouldn't that just be ironic, _he mused. _One of the greatest and most feared commanders, becoming a shinigami taichou… but they'll never let that slide._

Soi Fon's eyes narrowed. "We were informed that the Ishida line went extinct 87 years ago, when the last remaining member was sent on to Rukongai."

"…who, exactly, gave you that information?"

"Your predecessor."

"I take it you're referring to the… _man _responsible for the death and subsequent kidnapping of my grandfather's soul." The boy's voice was shaking slightly now, although it was difficult to tell whether out of fear or anger. "In that case, I would consider any information passed on to be dubious at best."

Kyoraku winced underneath his hat.

_I'd heard rumours, but you can't act based on a rumour, and he would probably have had some kind of contingency plan if we found out, but even so, we've been getting lax. What with all the years since the Gotei 13 encountered any significant resistance, I guess Mayuri took advantage of his position to indulge in personal projects. After all, nobody exactly kept track of everything that went on in every single division, and kami knows enough paperwork gets lost in the system._

Komamura frowned, ears twitching slightly. "Do you have any evidence of this?"

"There are records within the Scientific Research Institute databases of this, although they're hidden files. And I was present at his… at the time of the attack." Uryuu took a deep breath. "Mayuri's presence was unmistakable, given his unique appearance."

"Perhaps," rumbled Yamamoto. "However, that _still_ does not resolve the issue of the fact that you then proceeded to break into the Seireitei. With a Vasto Lorde class hollow."

"I was concerned over Kuchiki-san's welfare, given that I was under the impression she was to be executed." The boy's eyes briefly flickered towards Byakuya Kuchiki, who stared back impassively. "Had I had the opportunity, I _would_ have chosen to testify at whatever trial your justice system had organised, but…"

"Living humans are not generally considered as acceptable witnesses to the machinations of the Soul Society," Soi Fon pointed out sharply. "Given that they are incapable of perceiving shinigami – "

"…I'm standing in front of you, right now, as a self-proclaimed Quincy, and you're seriously asking whether or not I make a competent witness due to my inability to see souls?"

Soi Fon looked abashed. "Nonetheless – "

"I believe we are getting away from the original topic here," Retsu pointed out, smiling.

_Coming from her, though, it might as well be a declaration of war._

Kyoraku shuddered slightly, as Yamamoto rapped his cane against the floor again to regain attention.

"Uryuu Ishida. Do you or do you not admit to knowingly releasing a Vasto Lorde class hollow within the boundaries of the Seireitei?"

The boy scowled. "I would hardly call it 'releasing'. Ichigo Kurosaki is _not_ some kind of deranged beast – if he were, then shinigami would have been alerted and dispatched much sooner to deal with him."

"No aspect of Soul Society has ever allied itself with Vasto Lorde before," Komamura muttered, frowning.

Jyuurshirou cleared his throat slightly. "Actually, there _is _the precedent of the original pact from the old Council of Thirteen of the Menos no Mori. Vasto Lordes aren't exceptionally violent by nature."

"The pact which was then broken by the Vasto Lorde who referred to himself as a God-King?" Byakuya pointed out mildly, raising an eyebrow as the elderly taichou shrugged.

"It was generally accepted that Barragan Luisenbarn was an exception."

"…Sousuke Aizen just proved himself to have been allying himself with the hollows, however. Trusting a hollow he specifically arrancarised and then left behind in Seireitei – "

" – Would really make for an excellent spying opportunity," Kyoraku offered lazily, silencing Soi Fon. "I mean, it's not as if any of us would seriously think about trusting a hollow we know nothing about, who just turned up on top of Soukyoku Hill, then turned into an arrancar. Right?"

There was silence, broken by a brief _mnup-mnup _noise as Kenpachi jerked to attention, his one visible eye opening.

"We still discussing that crap 'bout the kids breakin' in?"

"Yes," Soi Fon managed to say through gritted teeth.

"Ah. Well, if there's a vote, mine's for 'em. 'Specially that brat that beat the shit outta Kurotsuchi… oy, fox-face, wake me up if there's a fight, willya?" The eye closed again.

Komamura bridled at the comment, before Byakuya cut in.

"Spying opportunities or otherwise, the fact remains that Uryuu Ishida is unsuitable for the post of taichou of the 12th Division."

"Bullshit." Kenpachi's eye was narrowed as he glowered at Byakuya, awake again. "He beat the crap outta Kurotsuchi, what more'd ya want?"

"Perhaps brute strength might be suitable for the Eleventh Division, but in general, most of the other divisions require more… subtlety. Particularly when they also generate the majority of technological devices used by the Gotei 13."

"The hell'd you say?" snarled Kenpachi, reaching for his zanpakuto, only for Unohana to lay a calming hand on his shoulder.

_…I doubt it'd be possible to kill Kurotsuchi with brute strength. Besides, that boy isn't exactly unskilled, given that he managed to break up the Soukyoku's bindings. I'd say him still being alive was more of a problem, not to mention he's barely even an adult by human standards… Yama-jii isn't going to let that stand._

The rapping of a wooden cane interrupted his musings.

"Enough. Uryuu Ishida." The soutaichou gave the boy a stern look. "I have reached my decision… in the absence of the Central 46 –"

"Yama-jii – " Jyuushirou began, before falling silent on the expression on his old sensei's face.

" – for the failure to report to duty during a wartime situation… you are hereby stripped of your rank and placed under probation, effective immediately."

"_Sir – _"

"In addition," Yamamoto continued, ignoring Soi Fon's protest, "you will not be paid for any duties conducted from that time until today. Is that clear?"

"…yes, sir."

"Good." Yamamoto's moustache twitched slightly. "In that case, you are free to return to the Fourth Division with an escort. This meeting is dismissed for now. Soi Fon…"

The taichou of the Second Division scowled, but led the boy away nonetheless.

Shunsui glanced at his long-term friend, as the other taichous left the room.

"Quite the resemblance, huh?"

Jyuushirou sighed, frowning. "I had been afraid of the outcome… particularly given past relationships between the Quincy and Soul Society as a whole. I'm not sure that Central 46 will be too happy about it, but that's a concern for the future." He glanced at Shunsui. "And in the meantime, I have another person to visit…"

"Nostalgia?" asked Shunsui, the corners of his lips pulling upwards slightly in a wry smile as the doors swung open again, letting sunlight filter back into the room.

Jyuushirou stiffened slightly at the comment. "Something like that."

* * *

Ichigo half-dozed in the room, waiting for something interesting to happen. The shinigami had chained his arms up to the wall and removed all the weapons they could find on him, before sealing his legs in manacles made of the same kind of sekki-sekki used to build the walls of Seireitei. The cool stone itched slightly against his skin, sapping away at his reiryoku, but he ignored it.

_There isn't much I can do from here, other than listen to Uryuu and Kaien's mental musings… I wish I could get some proper pants, though. _He shifted slightly, causing the loincloth to rub against his _(soft, human)_ skin. _Not to mention, a mirror would be nice. Also, tea. And chocolate pocky with a notepad to scribble in. I'm sure there's a good idea for a story in there somewhere…_

_Ichigo. You do realise this is probably the highest security cell they have in Seireitei? Even the Maggot's Nest doesn't have these kind of restraints. They're not going to ask you if you're comfortable here!_

_Well, maybe, but… you'd think they would at least follow the basic niceties…_

_You broke into the Seireitei. What did you expect, hot springs and a personal masseuse?_

"Ah… excuse me? Arrancar-san?"

The door swung open, letting light filter through into the room and revealing someone who was probably the most unlikely captor in the universe.

Ichigo stared at the midget shinigami. He – _(she? It?) _– the Hana clone somehow managed to be shorter than Rukia Kuchiki, which was quite an achievement considering the large bit of hair sticking straight up into the air. A clipboard was tucked under one arm, completing the image of a somewhat bedraggled scientist along with the oversized white laboratory coat.

_…huh, I guess they're not bothering with any good cop/bad cop routine here, then._

"Um, hi." The shinigami waved nervously. "I'm Rin… they just sent me to ask whether there was anything you wanted to eat and to run some tests, but… uh… the other people in Twelfth were all worried about you eating people and nobody _else_ wanted to go, so I got forcibly volunteered…" Rin's voice audibly lost enthusiasm during his speech, his hair drooping visibly.

"Of course not," assured Ichigo. _He looks like Hanatarou… how could I eat a person that depressed? He'd probably give me indigestion… not to mention Uryuu'd kill me if I did something like that._

"So… uh, are you hungry?"

Ichigo considered this question. There was a weird feeling of sort-of-completeness that he hadn't really felt for a long time, not since the chain in his chest had ripped out. The hunger was rather less prominent than it had previously been as a Vasto Lorde, although he did have to admit he still felt mildly peckish.

"I could do with some Pocky," he volunteered hopefully. "And maybe some paper and a pen."

"Pocky… you mean those biscuit sticks that you can get in the living world? Coated in strawberries?!" Rin's eyes sparkled as he gazed wistfully off into the distance, apparently reminiscing about Pocky. "There's no way he can be a bad person… nobody who's evil could like Pocky…"

_Okay, I think I'm the only person getting confused in this conversation._

_You just don't appreciate fine art._

"Personally, I like the chocolate flavour best," Ichigo commented meaningfully.

"Chock… lite?"

The arrancar's eyes widened, staring at Rin as the shinigami shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot.

"…you don't know what chocolate is?"

"I don't think they have it in Seireitei. Sorry," Rin added as an afterthought.

"You don't know about chocolate," Ichigo repeated, almost in a daze. _I mean… that's just… barbaric. How can they not know about chocolate? It's one of the key staple foods of life!_

_…I'm pretty sure not everyone takes the same attitude to sweets that you do, _pointed out Kaien. _Besides, where would we even get the materials to _make _it? Seireitei isn't exactly a tropical location, and neither are any of the outlying districts, so it's not like they'd be able to get the beans readily – they'd need to bring it in from the Living World or some other afterlife region, and the Seireitei doesn't really trade with the other regions. I'd never seen coffee before, either…_

_No coffee or chocolate?_!_ The humanity! Oh god, the humanity –_

_We're shinigami._

A knock sounded, just before the door swung open again, admitting another familiar face.

"Ukitake-taichou!" Rin's head bobbed down in a nervous bow. "Is there something I can – "

"Please leave us for the time being. I'm sure that your division could better use your assistance at this time."

The scientist glanced at Ichigo, his gaze lingering for a few moments. "Are you sure you don't – "

"I will be fine, Tsubokura-san," Ukitake interrupted, gently but firmly.

Rin gave Ichigo one last fleeting glance before scurrying out of the room, the door swinging shut behind him with a quiet _click_.

_Uh. What're the odds he's going to try to gut me in order to 'help'?_

Kaien considered the question. _Pretty low, unless you put your foot in your mouth. Still –_

"I had wondered whether I was mistaken at first." The expression on Ukitake's face was an odd mixture of compassion and anger, although at what Ichigo wasn't sure. "Your reiryoku was hard to perceive when I saw you first, and there are many souls who might have had the same features through coincidences, but Nejibana – "

_– I think it's best I take over for now._

Ichigo reluctantly relinquished his control over his body, feeling his facial muscles twitch slightly into a smile.

"Yeah, I… uh… it's kinda complicated." Kaien hesitated, wincing slightly. "I didn't… that night… the hollow didn't die then. Metastacia was crippled by Kuchiki's attack, but it managed to survive by using my body to protect itself, and it managed to get back to Hueco Mundo. And then it got eaten by an arrancar that basically leeched off my powers for the next few decades before Ichigo came along… but it turned out that he's actually my cousin, and then Kuchiki turned up so I couldn't exactly let her die."

Ukitake gaped openly, lost for words for a good half-minute.

"You lent your _bankai _to a Vasto Lorde?"

* * *

"Ishida-kun!" Orihime greeted him, beaming as Soi Fon silently ushered him through the door.

She was still wearing the shinigami uniform; apparently nobody had retrieved their old clothes just yet.

_I'll have to do something about that... it's not as if we can just go around looking like we're shinigami, after all._

"Inoue-san," he began, before sensing the tell-tale signs of an approaching Asano Tackle Hug and dropping to the ground.

"Ury-"

He was grudgingly forced to admit that Soi Fon had excellent reflexes, snatching Keigo out of the air before he managed to hurtle out of the open door.

The taichou scowled down at Uryuu's errant friend.

"That," she pronounced, prodding the boy with a geta-clad foot for emphasis, "was the most pathetic attempt at escape that I have seen."

Uryuu felt compelled to intervene on his friend's behalf.

"Actually, that's his standard way of greeting me…" he began, before tailing off at the expression on Soi Fon's face.

She removed her foot from Keigo's back, apparently dismissing the entire episode as ridiculous.

"You are free to move within the Seireitei with an escort from the Fourth Division, for the time being. The soutaichou has decided that given the current circumstances, it would be best if you return to the Living World in a few days, once you are completely recovered. I have my own duties to attend to for the moment, so if you'll excuse me..."

Soi Fon turned towards the door.

"Wait," Uryuu called out. "What's going to happen to Ichigo?"

The taichou paused in mid-step.

"That remains to be decided."

_Well... that sounded ominous, _Uryuu thought, watching her vanish in a brief burst of shunpou, before turning back to his friends.

"...so what happened?" Keigo asked tentatively, pushing himself up off the floor.

Uryuu shrugged in response. "They decided I'm not actually meant to be a taichou." _As if that wasn't blatantly obvious already..._

_"You?_ A taichou?" Ganju scoffed openly. "They must be outta their minds if they let you - "

"I just said they _didn't_ - "

"Congratulations, Ishida-kun!"

"Don't think you can just start giving me orders because you're higher ranked - "

"Ah... Ishida-san is moving up in the world, it seems... we're no longer wanted~"

"How could you abandon your friends to work as a shinigami - "

"They just stripped me of a position I _didn't actually have_ in the first place!" Uryuu took a breath, calming down. "Okay?"

Tatsuki scowled at him. "No need to shout about it... although I'm glad. You being a shinigami would be _weird_."

He briefly evaluated his friends' appearances. All of them seemed reasonably well; Orihime seemed a little tired, possibly because the Fourth Division had asked her to help out. Keigo was as exuberant as ever, Mizuiro and Sado were equally their standard selves, and Tatsuki seemed to have regained her karate uniform once more. The only person still apparently recuperating was Ganju, who sported bandages wrapped around his arms -

"Where's Nemu?"

Orihime's smile slipped.

"...she didn't make it," she murmured, refusing to meet his gaze. "We had only just got there, and you were on the ground, and before any of us could do anything - "

Tatsuki forced her friend to look her in the face. "Orihime. It's _not your fault_."

"I should've been able to _do_ something about it!" The girl was practically in tears now. "Ever since Sora-nii - "

"Inoue-san. It's alright." Sado's deep voice interrupted, his dark eyes compassionate. "You did your best."

Uryuu hesitated, glancing at Tatsuki. His friend was now scowling at him, making hand gestures towards Orihime whilst pulling her into a hug with the other arm.

_Comfort her, dammit! _her expression said.

"Inoue-san..." He took a breath, bracing himself for whatever reaction might be about to come. "It would be impossible to expect you to be able to heal everyone. Even the shinigami wouldn't be able to do what you could - "

Uryuu's gaze unfocused briefly.

_Father did not make me so weak as to be destroyed so easily._

_Made... _His mind flickered back to the shinigami who'd turned out not to be a shinigami at all, but –

_You can't reconstruct something without the original pieces._

"What did they do with her body?"

"Huh?" Keigo blinked, the first to respond to the question. "I think some guy with a droopy face and a weird bit of hair sticking up went and carried her off to Twelfth Division or something. He was helping to bring people down from the hill, too, but I don't - hey, what are you doi-?"

But Uryuu was already out the door, his mind halfway to Soukyoku.

_If my guess is right… hopefully one of the members of the SRI can recreate her – reigai, wasn't it? – or at least Kisuke will be able to. He owes me enough favours for that…_

* * *

Back in the Living World, Kisuke sneezed.

_Well… I suppose I know what a pincushion feels like now, _he thought, ruefully evaluating the results of Ryuuken's annoyance. If there was something positive to be said about the Quincy's visit, it was that at least he hadn't _completely _destroyed any vital organs. Or cut off Kisuke's head with Seele Schneider. Or gelded him, for that matter…

As it was, he _was_ currently nursing a large number of burns. Quincy arrows being comprised of a lot of energy, they had seared his flesh in numerous places, even where he'd actually remembered to (discreetly) activate his hierro, and after the Seele Schneider had come out even _that _hadn't done him much good.

"Did you _have_ to use the Sprenger?" he asked, ruefully inspecting the raw patches of skin.

Ryuuken glowered at Kisuke, before turning away, flicking the ash off his cigarette – onto the specially-laid sand that made up the floor of the Urahara Training Basement, a fact that the owner of said basement might have protested had he not still been recovering.

_I'm not bleeding out, at least…_

He concentrated briefly, sending a mild surge of reiryoku to his skin and muscles and causing the wounds to begin to close up and heal over once more. If he had to pick from 'benefits you get for being a Visored', then instantaneous cellular regeneration would definitely top the list for the number of times it had saved his life. _Although I do have to admit that it's terribly itchy waiting for everything to heal over again, not to mention the energy drain…_

"Well… this is nostalgic. Didn't know you'd gotten new staff, though."

Kisuke turned around just in time to see Isshin step off the ladder, looking around with mild interest.

Ryuuken scowled at the other doctor.

"Kurosaki. Is it not enough that I put up with you on a regular basis?"

"So harsh! Actually," Isshin grinned sheepishly, "I had no idea you were here… my shinigami powers are still recovering after last time."

_This… is not good._

"Come to think of it," and Isshin's face suddenly seemed a lot less friendly, "at what point were you going to mention my son was still around?"

Belatedly, Kisuke recalled memories of the person in front of him bringing down more than one Vasto Lorde. Not without reason had Isshin been put forward for promotion to the Royal Guard, and even if it had been several years ago, there were still pretty good odds that Isshin's high recovery rate at the clinic was partly due to the maintenance of those kidou skills… not to mention the additional rumours that Isshin had once almost strangled a group of delinquents with a stethoscope after they'd followed his son home.

"Look," he began in a placating tone of voice, "things have been quite busy, and besides, I _was _trying to keep things quiet so as not to attract attention – "

"My only son? _Really, _Kisuke? I mean, this must be a new low – "

Kisuke winced. "I had no idea how you'd react, and I wasn't even in the _country_ at the time! We were starting over in South Korea!"

Given the thunderous expression on Isshin's face, his attempts to calm down the ex-shinigami weren't working. Desperate, he glanced at Ryuuken in the hope of his salvation, but the Quincy seemed mildly amused more than anything else.

_…Wonderful, _he thought. _This might be the first time I have to regrow my kidneys twice in the same day._

* * *

Shaolin Fon was a proud woman. She had her post, and took some satisfaction in her job; even if the results of her squad's actions often went unnoticed, that was as it should be. It wouldn't do for people to take note of the daily activities of the Onmitskidou, after all, or the security could be compromised.

_Nonetheless,_ she thought with some distaste, _this has to be done._

Soundlessly, the door swung open, revealing an orange-haired male who might pass for human were it not for a) the large hole through the sternum and b) the crescent sliver of bone around the right eye.

The arrancar's eyes were shut, but flickered open the moment she stepped forward into the room.

"Hi." It yawned. "Actually, I've been waiting for you."

Soi Fon bit down on the irritation that this creature had anticipated her actions.

"As a result of the extenuating circumstances – "

" – you're going to make me an offer, right?"

She glowered at the infuriating arrancar.

"Under normal circumstances, we would have you purified instantly, although it's possible the Scientific Research Institute might have requested your body for research purposes." _Perish the thought of what Mayuri might have done had he ever obtained a complete arrancar. _"However… given the recent actions of three taichous… we are willing to be lenient, in exchange for information."

"Spying, in other words." The arrancar's head tilted to one side slightly. "On Sousuke Aizen, who has undoubtedly, by now, claimed dominance over the entirety of Las Noches, not to mention a significant part of Hueco Mundo. Not to mention a ridiculous amount of power, and the ability to arrancarise hollows. That's what you're asking for? My assistance in his death?"

Soi Fon frowned.

_I had expected resistance… although I had rather hoped to give him some idea of positive incentive first, rather than get around to threatening him immediately._

"In addition – " she began, before being cut off by the arrancar.

"Sure." He shrugged flippantly. "Why the hell not?"

She blinked.

"Excuse me?" she replied, once she managed to regain her voice. "You're telling me that you're willing to help out the Seireitei?"

The arrancar gave her a sardonic look.

"That man was responsible for the death of my mother, as well as my own. Not to mention…" His expression darkened briefly. "Trust me when I say it'd be my pleasure."

_Well… this is not what I had expected._

"One condition, though. Those humans that came with me… let them go free. And make sure they stay safe."

Soi Fon considered the chained arrancar.

"Very well," she replied, finally. "I will be returning shortly, before your departure. We will discuss the matter further at that time."

She departed as silently as she had come, although her thoughts were now preoccupied with the arrancar left behind.

_What manner of hollow makes such a request for the sake of humans?_

* * *

Ryuuken sighed, frowning at the papers on his desk.

_Really… do things have to be so complicated?_

Sometimes, he felt, it might have been easier to remain at his previous post, rather than having to take on the onerous task of managing an entire hospital. There was just so much _paperwork_ to the position that at times he had to envy Isshin's position, being able to run a small clinic and manage his own work, whilst equally having a minimal amount of the stuff.

He scowled at the thought of the eccentric shinigami-cum-doctor.

_No, I've got enough problems to worry about without taking him into account. Such as, for example, a certain foolish teenager rushing off half-cocked into the Spirit World, for the sake of a shinigami he's only just met. What was he even thinking? Especially with a hollow – _

Ryuuken jerked himself out of his reverie.

_Something's wrong._

His gaze passed over the items in the room. Everything seemed to be in its normal place, various sheets of paper neatly stacked up in his in-tray, and a small number of forms ready and waiting to be passed onto his secretary, next to a computer, the window was still ajar as he had left it –

He stood up abruptly as the door opened, reaching instinctively for the Quincy cross at his wrist.

"Wow, this place is nice, Hou!"

A pair of twin boys had come into the room, and were now looking around appreciatively, inspecting the water cooler. Both had water bottles tucked under one arm and looked relatively innocuous, but the mere fact that Ryuuken hadn't been able to sense them coming was enough to set him on edge.

_No… they're not children, _he realised. _Children wouldn't be able to conceal their reiatsu in such a complete fashion. Even a shinigami would have difficulty hiding themselves so completely from my perception unless they used some kind of power-sealing gigai… Not to mention that Kimiko would hardly have let a pair of children wander into my office._

A brief memory of a lesson with Souken coming back to him, from before the time he'd decided to walk away from his heritage.

"It's not really what I'd expect from the last Quincy, though… don't you think this is pretty sad, Ban?"

Ryuuken's eyes narrowed at the comment.

_Bounts._

"What have you done to my secretary?" he asked flatly, causing the two Bounts to turn towards him, angelic expressions on their faces.

"Us?" asked the cap-wearing bount innocently, in tandem with his brother's reply. "We didn't touch her."

"She _was_ very happy to help us after we said we were looking for you, though." The capped one – Ban? – smirked evilly, the expression seeming horribly out-of-place on the face of an apparent seven-year-old. "All we had to do was talk about funding, and how it was so sad that we probably wouldn't get to see our tenth birthdays – "

" – although actually we're ten times as old as _she _is," continued his brother, "but it doesn't really matter, she bought it anyway." He unscrewed the cap on the water bottle, perfectly synchronising the action with that of his sibling.

"Are you going to come willingly or not?" they asked in chorus, water streaming out of the bottles to form twin liquid tendrils, swaying in the air.

Ryuuken made no response, instead choosing to make use of a brief burst of Hirenkyaku.

_There is no point in bothering myself with the dolls when I can simply eliminate their controllers instead._

The twins reacted admirably fast, water arcing through the air in a failed attempt to snare him. One smooth chop was delivered to the neck of the older-looking boy with minimal regret, knocking him down and causing one of the water elementals to falter –

"Going forward!" chirped a high-pitched voice from behind him.

He felt a brief sensation of disgust at his own foolishness – _really, forgetting the possibility of support? _– before the sharp pain in his back was swiftly followed by unconsciousness.

* * *

Hou got up, scowling as he retrieved the sealed form of his doll.

"Why did you have to interfere, Mabashi?"

The orange-haired Bount shrugged nonchalantly. "If Jin wanted us to destroy the hospital, I'm sure you would have made a fine job of it. But we're not here to draw excessive human attention. It's only natural that Ritz is the best suited, isn't it?"

The Quincy – or, to be more precise, Mabashi's doll in his body – straightened up, flushing slightly.

"Thank you!"

Hou's expression darkened even further.

_That man… as if his interference was necessary! Guhl and Günther would have performed the job perfectly well without his help…_

_Maybe, Hou, but not without harming the Quincy. Kariya needs him brought back alive for our plans, after all._

"Fine… but I won't accept you interfering when we reach Seireitei. Our revenge is ours alone!"

Hou resisted the urge to punch that smirk off Mabashi's face.

"I'll be sure to remember that. In the meantime, though, shouldn't we be getting somewhere?"

"Yes, Mabashi-sama!"

The four of them left the office without any resistance; it seemed the receptionist hadn't noticed anything, although she glanced up as they walked past her desk.

Ritz had obligingly slumped upon Mabashi's shoulder, giving the impression of an infirm man.

"Ishida-sama? What happened?" The receptionist made to stand up, before Mabashi gave her a reassuring smile.

"Flu combined with overwork, I think. He should probably rest for a little while; he offered to help out with the charity, but I think it's best if I take him home for now."

He beamed at the young woman.

"Ah… yes…" She sat down slowly again, slightly dazed by the encounter. "I'll cancel his meetings for the day, in that case… I always say that Ishida-sama pushes himself too hard – "

Ban gave the woman a sour look.

"Let's get 'Ryuuken' back home, shall we, boys?"

_'Boys'?! We're older than he is!_

_Not here, Ban. We don't have time to make a scene. Not now, when we've come so far…_

Seething, he managed to restrain himself all the way out of the hospital, where Ryou Utagawa awaited them in the car.

_Finally, we can stop this ridiculous pretence… and then Seireitei will regret the day we were created._

* * *

**OMAKE!**

** Meanwhile, in Canon...**

URYUU: I am the Last Quincy, and I hate -

ICHIGO: [interrupting] Hey, wait a second, didn't you have to come from somewhere? Unless you're trying to claim that you Quincy guys come about by some sort of weird immaculate conception...

URYUU: [testily] Look, if you say 'Penultimate Quincy' it doesn't sound as good. I mean... it's just not as catchy! There are far too many syllables for it to work well in a sentence, you might as well ask people to laugh at you. Besides, I'll be the Last Quincy when Ryuuken dies anyway -

ICHIGO: Aha! So you _do _admit you were lying!

URYUU: ...

* * *

_Timeskip to latest arc_

ICHIGO: Hey Uryuu! Where'd all these relatives of yours come from?

URYUU: They're already dead, they don't count as Quincies any more.

ICHIGO: Well, maybe they're dead, but they're still using the same powers -

URYUU: [interrupting] _Doesn't count!_

* * *

_Timeskip to latest plotkai_

ICHIGO: Hey Uryuu... turns out I was a Quincy all along!

URYUU: ...

ICHIGO: You do realise that means I'm the last Quincy now, right?

URYUU: ...not if I kill you first.

ICHIGO: Wait, what're you doing with that Seele Schnei - Hey! This isn't funny any more -

[URYUU chases ICHIGO offscreen. Faint buzzing sounds as of multiple chainsaws can be heard in the background, as well as other, more visceral noises and a gurgling scream. After a brief period, URYUU returns to the screen, grinning maniacally and splattered with blood.]

URYUU: I am the Last Quincy... god, that felt so _satisfying _to do that...

TITE KUBO: Isn't your father still around?

URYUU: You're right! I should go find him as well!

TITE KUBO: [sweatdropping] That's not what I meant...


End file.
